爆笑女警（2016）

如果你有心脏病史
do not take Fen-Phen,
请不要服用双芬
as it may exacerbate your condition.
这可能加重症状
We re-checked the blood of all the victims,
我们再次检查了受害者的血样
and they all proved positive for Fen-Phen.
他们都对双芬呈阳性反应
Someone is dealing diet drugs on the beach.
有人在沙滩上交易减肥药
These people didn't drown. They're dumped.
这些人没有溺水 他们是被扔进去的
Dumped like a girl in a coma.
像个昏迷女被甩一样
You were unconscious, she was conscious.
你在昏迷 而她活生生的站着
Why do I have to keep explaining myself?
为什么我要不停地为自己辩白
I did what any rational man would do.
我只是做了每个男人都会做的事
I think about you when I make love to her.
我在和她做♥爱♥的时候都想着你
What else do you want?
你还想要什么
God, I can't take this anymore.
天哪 我真的受不了
What was that, 10 minutes? I'm losing my mind here.
又哭 才十分钟呢 我快疯了
Didn't you hear him?
你有听到吗
He's having sex with me when he thinks about you.
他在想着你的时候和我做♥爱♥
Get over it. It's getting sad.
接受现实吧 不然伤的是你
Here's your stupid statement.
这是你要的口供啊
Am I free to go?
我可以走了吗
Let me see what this is.
让我先看看
"My Day at the Beach" by Brah Wilson.
我在沙滩上的一天 布拉·威尔逊
"My day at the beach was really fun.
我在沙滩上的一天真的很有趣
People played in the water.
人们在水里玩
Then I had ice cream.
然后我吃了个冰淇淋
It was fun. I love the beach.
这很有趣 我爱沙滩
The end."
终
That's it?
就这样吗
12 corpses wash up on the beach
共十二具尸体被冲到岸上
and that's not enough to keep you up at night?
这事不会让你恶梦连连吗
What can I say? I'm a chill dude.
我能说什么 哥是个冷静的人嘛
Well, since you're so chill,
好吧 既然你这么冷静
I guess it wouldn't surprise you
我想这不会让你惊讶的
to learn that all those people you said drowned
所有被你所说溺水的人
actually overdosed on an illegal weight-loss drug.
实际上都过度服用了不合法的减肥药
I'd be surprised on the inside,
我内心会感到惊讶
but you wouldn't be able to tell from my demeanor, no.
但你不能从我的举止中看出来 绝不能
I think you know something.
我认为你知道些什么
And until you come clean,
到你坦白之前
I got other ways of getting what I want.
我会用其他方式获得我要的
You want a statement, I'll give you a statement.
你想要我录口供 我就给你录
We live in a world with waves,
我们住在波涛汹涌的世界里
and people need to be protected
人们需要被保护
from those waves by men in shorts.
而人们需要我这些男子汉来保护
Who's gonna do it, you?
谁要干这件事呢 你吗
You, Lieutenant Weinberg?
还是你啊 温伯格中尉吗
You ever saved a life, Detective?
你救过人吗 侦探
Many. I didn't think so.
许多 我不这么认为
I look at the ugliest parts of humanity...
我看到过人类中最丑恶的部分
littering, cellulite,
垃圾 脂肪团
an utter disregard for the rules of volleyball.
对排球规则的完全漠视
But in spite of it all, I say, "You're not gonna die today.
尽管这样 我都会誓死保护他们
Not on my beach. Brah has got you."
至少不在我的沙滩上 本大爷会保护你
Well, I know 12 corpses that might disagree.
好吧 可是那十二具尸体可能不同意喔
And I don't appreciate being questioned by a man
而且我不喜欢被那些在毫无危险的陆地工作
who has the luxury of working on land.
而生活富裕的人来审讯我
My enemy never stops.
我的敌人从不停步
He keeps coming and coming.
只会一浪接一浪打过来
And when it comes for you, which it will,
当这降临到你身上时
you better pray I'm there to pull you out.
你只能祈祷我会拉你出来
So, unless I'm under arrest...
所以 除非我被逮捕
I got a beach to patrol.
不然别阻我去沙滩巡逻
Someone's dealing banned weight-loss drugs.
有人在贩卖♥♥被禁的减肥药
People O.D., they get dumped in the water,
人们涉取过量药物身亡 然后被扔到水里
the lifeguards call it a drowning.
救生员就觉得只是溺水
I'll tell you this right now...
我现在告诉你
Brah Wilson knows a hell of a lot more
布拉·威尔逊一定有很多内情
than what he's letting on.
没告诉我们
Not a hell of a lot more, but more.
也不是很多 但一定有不少
I think we need to get someone
我认为咱们需要找人
undercover with the lifeguards.
来当人卧底救生员
That person would have to spend every day
而那个人一定要牺牲陪伴家人的时间
at the beach away from their family.
一整天待在沙滩上
It would require a ton of sleep
这任务不但能上班睡觉
and probably no hassles.
也不会有什么麻烦
I can't in good conscience ask anyone to do that.
我怎能埋没良心叫人做这些事
I'll do it, Lieutenant.
我来吧 中尉
Geils, you have a baby and a love triangle.
盖尔斯 你家有娃 又有三角恋
Think about what you'd be giving up.
想想你要放弃多少来做这任务啊
Hey. How's it going, guys?
嘿 怎么样了 伙计们
I'm the new lifeguard, Jay Geils.
我是新的救生员 杰·盖尔斯
Papers, please.
请出示执照
Welcome to Malibu.
欢迎来到马利布海滩
Just having paperwork doesn't make you a lifeguard.
简单一张执照不代表你就是救生员
We're a brotherhood.
我们是兄弟帮
How do we know you got what it takes?
能给我们看看你会多尽力工作吗
I guess just assume I do?
就猜着我会尽力
We're gonna need to see a rescue.
我们要看到一场救援才会认可你
See that middle-aged Asian man out in the surf?
看到那个冲浪的中年亚裔男子了吗
He's been flailing since you walked in here.
从你踏进这里开始他就在挣扎了
I give him ten minutes till he goes under.
他应该只能多撑个十分钟
Not so fast, hot-shot.
别那么快 高手
I also got a Midwestern couple
我还看到一对中西部夫妇
about to pull glass bottles
要把玻璃瓶
out of their cooler over there.
从他们的冷藏器里拿出来了
What do you do? I mean...
你要怎么做 我的意思是
What do you do?
你要怎么处理
No glass on the beach!
沙滩上不能有玻璃
All right. Look who it is!
好吧 看看这是谁
Everybody, this is the new member of our crew.
各位 这是我们团队的新成员
Geils, I want you to meet Todd, Skeeter, Wilhelm, Stacy,
盖尔斯 来见见托德 斯基特 威廉 斯泰西
Lukabubude, Martinez, the other Stacy, L'Monjello...
卢卡布布德 马丁内斯 另一个斯泰西 蒙杰利欧
Oranjello, and Man Stacy.
欧朗杰奥 还有男的斯泰西
Glad to meet you guys.
很高兴认识各位
I just hope we can all work together
我希望我们能携手
to keep these beaches safe.
让这片海滩安全
I like him! He's crazy.
我喜欢他 他和一般人不一样
Come with me.
跟我来
I want to talk to you some place a little more private.
我想要找个更私密点的地方和你谈谈
So, what's your regime?
所以 你是什么体制的
I'm a Stalin guy.
我支持苏联共♥产♥党的
What? No. I mean your workout regime.
什么 不不不 我是问你的运动体制
Oh, you mean "regimen."
哦 你说养生方案啊
Yeah, a lot of people get that confused.
是啊 许多人都有这样的疑惑
Just some weights, a little treadmill.
就一些力量训练 还有一点跑步机训练
We're gonna need you to step it up a bit.
我们需要你稍稍提升一个等级
We got a mantra out here, unspoken rule
我们这有个魔咒 一条潜规则
passed down from generation to generation...
一代一代传下来的
"No fatties."
绝无脂肪
Doesn't that seem insensitive in light
这是不是太极端了
of modern-day acceptance of different body types?
毕竟现在对不同形体还是很宽容的
We're all for people with different body types,
我们都是有着各种身材的人
just not on the beach.
但不是在这片海滩上
We call those "inside people."
在这有好身材的人才是 自己人
I guess I could add in some more cardio.
我猜我能多做一些有氧运动
Cardio's not gonna cut it, my brother.
有氧运动减不下来的 哥们
Out here, where every second counts,
在这里 每一秒
we got to kick things up a notch.
我们都在变瘦
What is this?
这是什么
Trust me, Jay. I'm about to show you a world
相信我 杰 我要向你展示一个
you're not gonna believe even existed...