齐与祖

Well, of course!
你们上次去教堂是什么时候
And when was the last time each of you actually went to church?
大概是给我教子做洗礼的时候
Ah well, that would be at my godson's baptism in
1987年吗
1987?
没有那么久远
It was more'recent than that.
我肯定在这之间还是来过几次的
And I'm sure there have been several times in between.
其他人呢
And the'rest of you?
我猜应该是跟我前妻结婚那次
I guess that would be my marriage to my ex-wife.
16年以前
Which was sixteen years ago.
我老爹葬礼那次来过
My father's funeral.
很讽刺的是
Which is ironic
那个狗♥娘♥养♥的肯定已经下地狱了
because that son-of-a-bitch is almost definitely in hell.
我是犹太人
I'm Jewish.
我不能就这样亲她
I can't just kiss her.
除了这个 我这个狼人鼻子也会碍事的
Besides, my werewolf nose will get in the way.
那就给她个拥抱
Give her a hug then.
要不我们就跳到下一个问题吧
Maybe we'll just skip along to the next question.
你相信万能的上帝为了
Do you believe in God the Father Almighty
把我们从罪恶中拯救出来
who sacrificed his only begotten Son
牺牲了他的独生子吗
to save us from our sins?
不信
No.
爸爸
Dad.
怎么了 我是个无神论者
What? I'm an atheist.
我也是 我们有很多共同点
Me too! We have so much in common.
谢谢你 弗朗西斯
Um, thanks Francis.
我觉得她并不喜欢这个拥抱
I don't think she went for it.
这是我最棒的拥抱了
That was my best possible hug.
好吧 那就试着进行下一阶段
Well, try to take things to the next level.
我是一个为了
Oscar i'm a jew
为了娶我前妻而改信了天主教的
who converted to Catholicism
犹太人 后来又离婚了
to marry my ex-wife then got divorced
这完全违反了天主教的规则
which completely goes against the rules of Catholicism.
所以我现在不太确定我现在信什么了
So I'm not'really sure what I am now.
我信新门诺教
I'm a neo-Mennonite.
你说啥
Excuse me?
我信巫术
Wicca.
好吧 那个
Okay well, um
重要的还是新娘的信仰
what'really matters here is what the brides believe.
所以 露和齐拉信什么
So, Lu and Zilla?
我应该是基♥督♥教♥徒♥
I would describe myself as Christian.
你说你应该吗
You would?
对啊
Yeah.
好吧
Oh. Well...
我觉得我不太确定我信什么
I guess I'm not'really sure what I believe in.
我的意思是 对于我来说
I mean, it seems to me like
很多宗教都值得去信仰
a lot of'religions could be on the right track.
但是我真的相信精神自♥由♥和广结善缘
But I do believe in spirituality and being nice to people-
弗朗西斯 滚一边去
Francis, get the hell off me..
我不经常发誓
I don't usually swear.
好惨一男的
That was pathetic.
很明显 她是个同性恋
Obviously, she's a lesbian.
下一个问题
Next question:
如果你有了孩子
Um, if you were to have children
你会教他们信仰基♥督♥教吗
would you raise them in the Christian faith?
我们还真没讨论过这个问题
We haven't'really discussed that.
那你们都讨论啥了
What have you discussed?
你竟然都不知道她的信仰
You don't even know what'religion she is.
我们讨论了我们深爱着彼此
We've discussed that we love each other.
所以你离婚了
So you're divorced
你妹妹离婚了 你哥哥离婚了
your sister is divorced, your brother is divorced
还有你的父母也离过婚
and your parents were divorced?
对
Yeah.
基本上我家所有人都离婚了
Basically everyone in my family gets divorced.
鲍勃牧师
Hey, pastor Bob?
来自斯顿普镇葬礼的这个快递是你的吗
Delivery from Stump Town Funeral?
是的 请把它放到风琴旁边
Oh, yes. If you could just put it by the organ.
我们的一位教♥徒♥这个礼拜去世了
One of our parishioners passed this week
所以他的家人问能不能把棺材送到这里
so the family asked if they could deliver the casket here.
棺材是用俄勒冈州的松树和环保型的
It's made from Oregon pine and Eco-friendly
无农药胶水做成的
pesticide-free glue.
很好
Oh, good.
因为我不想在死了以后
Because I'd hate to be poisoned with pesticide
再被杀虫剂毒死一遍
on top of already being dead.
那么 我们能继续了吗
Look, can we move things along?
很显然 我要去拿酒了
Evidently, I have to go pick up the wine
我还要带走这三个小同性恋
and I need to take these three little faggots with me..
对不起
Oh, I'm sorry.
因为现在这么个情况我都不能抱怨了吗
Is that word no longer PC because of this situation?
从 从来没有
It- it was never..
拜托别碰那个 那是别人的棺材
Oh, please don't touch that! That's someone else's coffin.
那么 回到正题上来
Well. To'return to the interview..
你遵守十诫吗
Do you follow the Ten Commandments?
那又是什么
What exactly are those again?
你知道
You know...
你不可说谎 不可破坏安息日
thou shalt not lie, thou shalt not break the Sabbath..
我有时会打破安息日
I sometimes break the Sabbath
尽管我是个有争议的天主教♥徒♥
even though I'm disputably Catholic.
怎么打破
How?
你知道
Well you know...
如果我需要钱
if I need money...
有时候我就直接拿走了
Sometimes I just take it.
从谁那里拿
From whom?
一般是从我妈钱包里
Usually from my mom's purse.
你偷妈妈的钱
You steal from Mom?
如果我找她 要她会给我的
She would give me the money if I asked her
但是她听不清
but she can't hear!
快点 进去
Hurry, get in
我们可以在别人看到前重新拍一下棺材
and we can'reshoot the coffin scene before anyone sees.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
当然 没有别人会用这个了
Of course. Nobody else is using it.
所以你是说
So what you're saying is that you
你会从你安息的母亲那里偷窃吗
do sometimes steal from your mother on the Sabbath.
是的
Yes.
你个傻子
You idiot!
好了 来
Okay, look.
我们直奔主题 你们想要多少钱
Let's cut to the chase. How much do you want?
你说什么
Excuse me?
这里正常的家庭结婚要花多少钱
What does a normal family pay to get married here?
我们出两倍
We'll double it.
你们 不能
You.. can't..
在这里结婚
get married here..
不能
No.
禁止一个家庭去教堂
Isn't it a little un-Christian
是不是有点不够基♥督♥
to ban an entire family from going to church?
我觉得是不欢迎
Unwelcoming, I think.
我是说对他们而言
I mean as far as they're concerned
他们要我们都下地狱
they are dooming us all to Hell..
祖伊 我就是打个比方
Zoe, I was being figurative.
大家伙 我需要你们的帮助
Guys. I need your help.
我今天一个好镜头都没拍到
I didn't get any good footage today.
你们能不能带上这些面具再跳个怪兽舞
Will you put on these masks and do a monster dance?
很简单 弗朗西斯设计的
It's'really easy. Francis choreographed it.
什么 我不明白的是
CORA What I don't understand
他们为什么因为一件小事生气
is why they were so upset about a little thing
比如打破了十诫
like breaking the Ten Commandments.
每个人都会打破戒条
Everyone breaks a commandment sooner or later.
这由不是什么死罪
It's not like it's a mortal sin.
实际上 我觉得是人们对于死罪的定义
Actually I think it's the definition of a mortal sin.
好吧 没准是为了追求完美
Well, maybe it's for the best.
你怎么想的 小佐
What do you mean, Zill?
我觉得 或许爸爸说的是对的