齐与祖

without getting arrested?
情况很复杂 哥
It was a complicated situation, bro-
奥斯卡
Oscar.
我让你代表咱们家去采购
I asked you to'represent the family's interests
结果你把他们都送进了监狱
and they ended up in jail.
欢迎来到狼人的长眠之地
孤独
朋友
轻轻一口
就会交到一个狼人朋友
这一定要关于婚礼 对吧
I mean it's got to be about a wedding, right?
我们只被允许拍和婚礼有关的事物
We're only allowed to shoot wedding stuff.
所以故事是 狼人闯入婚纱店咬人时
So the werewolf goes into this wedding shop trying to
环顾四周看到了新娘
bite people and he looks up and sees a bride.
之后便一见钟情
And he falls in love.
我不知道
I don't know..
一见钟情好像没有咬人那么酷
Falling in love isn't as cool as biting people.
弗朗西斯 狼人当然还是要咬人
Francis, of course he's going to bite people
但是要有一个情节
but there's got to be a plot.
没时间计较了 三周后就要交片
We can't be too picky, the deadline's in three weeks.
我不太明白她们为什么要在教堂结婚
I don't see why they have to get married in a church.
我一直梦想着我女儿能在教堂成婚
I've dreamed of seeing my daughter married in a church.
而且 婚礼是要有点宗教色彩的
Besides, weddings should be'religious.
我们是犹太人
We’re Jewish.
不践行的那种
Non-practicing.
好吧
Fine.
那就再找一个愿意为不践行的犹太人
So find a rabbi who's willing to perform a same-sex marriage
拉比：犹太教经师或神职人员
主持同性婚礼的拉比
for non-practicing Jews, and he can be there too.
我找到了一个特别完美的教堂
I found the perfect church.
那里没有特定的宗教流派
they're non-denominational,
并且很爱戴同性恋
and they simply love the gays.
为什么弗朗西斯在这里
Why is Francis here?
为什么弗朗西斯总是在这里
Why is Francis always here?
弗朗西斯 你为什么打扮成这样
Francis, why are you wearing this thing?
我还以为你对毛过敏来着
I thought you were allergic.
我需要排练 巴利基先生
I have to practice, Mr. B.
如果你要来教堂的话
Well if You're coming to the church with us
至少记得把面具摘了
you need to at least take the mask off.
那很不成体统
It's not appropriate.
你还是戴上吧
Yeah, put it back on.
看来昨天的斗殴是妈妈赢了啊
I think it's fair to say Mom won yesterday's brawl.
马特 说实话那不算斗殴
Matt, honestly it wasn't a brawl.
只是一点小小的误会
It was a simple miscommunication.
我还以为自己会被勒死
I couldn't help noticing that I was being strangled
所以激烈反抗了一下
so I'reacted defensively.
反正结果是好的
All's well that ends well.
你觉得进监狱是个好结果吗
You consider doing jail time ending well, do you?
我们得到了想要的东西啊
Well, we got what we came for.
裙子都买♥♥好了 虽然是弄破了
The dresses were purchased, you could say we broke them in
但是齐拉和祖伊穿上都很漂亮啊
and Zilla and Zoe will look lovely.
至于伴娘嘛
As for the bridesmaids.
我决定选择性忽视掉他们
I simply plan not to look at that half of the wedding photos.
齐拉去哪儿了 我们该走了
Where is Zilla? It's time to go.
其实
You know..
我们选的这条裙子
this dress we picked out..
真的不是我喜欢的类型
It's not'really my style.
我知道你不喜欢
I know it's not.
我还以为是你隐藏多年的少女心
I thought it was some secret inner girliness
突然显现了
coming out after all these years.
没有 是因为你妈真的好喜欢这条
No, it's just- Your mom'really liked it.
这是我们的婚礼 不喜欢就去退掉好了
It's our wedding. If you don't like it,'return it.
我不想让你妈难受
I don't want to hurt your mother's feelings.
如果你觉得别人的想法比做自己
Well, if you care more about what other people think
更重要 那你就穿吧
than being who you are, then wear it.
我不明白 小佐 要么穿要么退
I don't get it, Zill. Either you wear the dress or You'return it.
你只有这两个选项不是吗
Those are your only two options, right?
是的
Right.
所以还有什么大不了的
So what's the big deal?
这是在干嘛
What is this?
波特兰人习惯让别人先走
Oh, it's Portland. People like to let each other go first.
你先
You go first.
不 你先
No, you go first..
不 不 你先
No, no, you go first.
真是一群傻♥逼♥
Son of a bitch.
你先
You go first.
你先
You go first!
我不要先走
i won't!
你会喜欢这个教堂的
Well! You are going to love this church.
它简直美轮美奂
It is absolutely charming.
我不太想在教堂结婚
I'm not'really sure about getting married in a church..
我幻想的婚礼场景总是在户外
I always imagined an outdoor wedding.
这个教堂有很多很大的窗户
Well, they have very large windows.
所以你会感觉跟户外差不多
So that's almost like being outside.
那么 狼人对新娘一见钟情了
So, the werewolf falls in love with the bride.
他接下来该做什么呢
What would he do next?
也许吃点东西
Would he maybe eat something?
不行 一般人在坠入爱河的时候
No, that's not what people do
不会吃东西
when they're in love.
他们会吟诗之类的
they'recite poetry and stuff.
但是你还不能那么做
But you're not'ready to do that yet
因为你面临着一个难题
because you have a problem:
新娘早已心有所属
the bride's in love with someone else.
所以到了教堂你的任务是
So here's your mission in the church:
拆散齐拉和露
make Zilla break up with Lu
然后让齐拉爱上你
and fall in love with you instead.
这里真的很棒
It is nice.
听见没
See?
欢迎大家
Welcome!
我是牧师鲍勃 旁边是我的妻子厄尔斯
I'm Pastor Bob and this is my wife, Earth.
你在逗我吧
You must be joking.
没有 我的孩子都叫我地球母亲
No. My kids call me Mother Earth.
她的父母都是嬉皮士
Her parents were hippies.
很显然她遗传到了
Apparently it's genetic.
这是我女儿露娜还有齐拉 她未来的
This is my daughter Luna and Zilla, her future...
怎么说呢 伴侣 配偶
...What would you call it, partner? Helpmate?
妻子
Wife.
和我们一样啊
Oh, just like us!
是的 和普通人一样
Yes, just like'regular people.
我的天哪 我从来没进到教堂里面过
Oh my God, I've never been inside an actual church before.
我真的好喜欢
This is adorable!
齐拉和露的婚礼现在可以开始了
Zilla and Lu could get married right now.
我来说祝酒词
I'll make the toast!
致齐拉和露
To Zilla and Lu.
希望你们的女儿不要变成一个骚货
I hope your daughters aren't dirty sluts
就像高中时候的我们
like we were in high school.
那是耶稣的血液
That's the Blood of Christ.
画得很棒 祖伊
Yeah, that's very nice, Zoe.
在和平教堂成婚的第一步是
Now the first step to getting married at the Church of Peace
采访一下至亲们
is to do an interview of the significant parties.
至亲们请走上前来
So if the significant parties could step right this way..
我们都是至亲
We're all significant.
好吧 我再去找一些椅子
Okay, we'll get more chairs.
好了 要让齐拉爱上你
Alright, make Zilla fall in love with you.
开拍
Action.
有什么问题吗
Is there a problem?
你会怎么让一个女孩爱上你
How do you make a girl fall in love with you?
我不知道 也许亲她之类的吧
I don't know. You'll probably have to kiss her or something.
告诉我
So tell me.
你们为什么选择来和平教堂成婚
What makes you want to get married at the Church of Peace
这个建筑简直美轮美奂
Well, the building is charming.
这很珍稀的
I mean it's precious.
而且你还是基♥督♥教♥徒♥ 对吧
And also, You're Christian, right?
当然啦