齐与祖

Like Bambi.
《小鹿斑比》才不是悲剧
Bambi's not a tragedy.
祖伊 剧里的妈妈死了
The mom dies, Zoe.
好吧 那么或许狼人死了
Okay, so maybe the werewolf dies.
或许他意识到他没办法娶新娘
Maybe he'realizes he can't marry the bride
所以他自杀了
so he kills himself.
他是怎么做到的
How?
用木桩钉穿他的心脏吗
Drive a stake through his heart?
弗朗西斯 那是吸血鬼
That's a vampire, Francis.
狼人们能被任何古老的方法杀死
Werewolves can die any old way.
通常情况下不是去考虑如何杀掉狼人
Normally it isn't about figuring out how to kill the werewolf
而是要弄清楚你是否能在他杀死你之前
it's figuring out whether you're going to be able to kill it
把他杀掉
before it kills you.
也许他可以从屋顶上跳下来
Maybe he could jump off the roof...
不行 不行 这太陡了
Uh uh. It's too steep.
我会被吓懵的
I may have a panic attack.
只要你别吐在这套衣服上
Just don't throw up on the costume.
我给你做了个东西
I built something for you.
一步 两步 一步 两步 到了
Step, step, step, step, step, step, stop.
准备好了吗
Are you'ready?
好的
Okay.
我从未见过如此美丽的棺材
It's the most beautiful coffin I've ever seen.
你知道 这是不太环保的松树
Well you know, it's not Eco-friendly pine
但是我希望它能做到
but I hope it will do..
试着不要在有必要之前用上它
Let's try not to actually have to put this to use before our time, huh?
所以惊喜是
So what's the big surprise?
粉色大改造
The Pink Spa!
欢迎
Welcome!
3个小时纯正的奢华
Three hours of pure luxury.
我们要把我们的发型做好
We are going to get our hair done.
还要把我们的美甲做好
get our nails done.
然后我们再去市中心
And then we are going out on the town.
别担心
And don't worry.
今天一切算我的
Everything's on me!
你在逗我吗
You have got to be kidding me?
亲爱的
Oh, sweetheart-
不 妈 你从毕业舞会开始
No Mom, you've been trying to trick me
就试着骗我去做发型
into getting my hair done since prom.
不可能的
No way.
你们先去做
You guys go ahead.
我等下在和你们碰面
I'll meet up with you later.
你不来吗
You're not even coming?
我不想浪费三个小时
I don't want to spend three hours
来画我的指甲
painting my fingernails.
但是 这是我们的单身派对
But- this is our bachelorette party.
我们应该一起享受这一切的
We're supposed to be enjoying this together.
那对不起了 我不喜欢享受这些东西
I'm sorry, this is not the kind of thing that I enjoy.
但是 但是这些
But- this isn't the kind of thing that-
小佐 对不起
I'm sorry, Zill.
我退出
I'm out.
你认为现在够深了吗
Do you think it's deep enough yet?
弗朗西斯 我们这次要把事情做对
We have to get things right this time, Francis.
它要有六英尺深
It's supposed to be six feet deep.
但是我们都没有6英尺高
But we're not six feet tall.
我们要怎么出来
How will we get out?
祖伊
Zoe!
你知道你在做什么吗
What the hell do you think you're doing?
这是什么东西
What is this?
真是一群天杀的
Son of a bitch!
别这样 你会弄坏的
Don't, you'll break it!
我不知道还有没有其他方法能让你听进去
I don't know any other way of getting through to you, Zoe.
我已经跟过你不知道多少遍了
I have asked you'repeatedly
别再弄这些吓人的东西了
to give up this horror stuff.
我已经要求你过了
I have'requested
别再把那些血淋淋的东西放进冰箱里了
that you stop keeping bloody, severed body parts in the fridge.
我都已经求过你
I have begged you
别再把邻居家狗的毛给剃光了
not to shave the neighbor's dogs
和把东西炸飞 或者
blow things up, or
在草坪挖一个棺材形状的洞
dig coffin-shaped holes in the lawn.
现在我命令你
And now I am ordering you
别再拍这些鬼电影了
to quit making this horror film!
我就要做这些 这都是我喜欢做的
I have to make it. It's what I love.
不 不 不 你不喜欢这样的
No, no, no you don't!
杀人犯或许喜欢谋杀别人
Murderers may love murdering people
但他们不必这么做
but they don't have to do it!
这件事就是我在乎的
It's the only thing I care about!
已经刻在我灵魂里了
It's in my soul.
那就是你的灵魂哪里出了问题
Then there's something seriously wrong with your soul!
你不爱我了
You don't love me.
祖伊 有时候
Sometimes Zoe
你让我很难爱你
you make it hard.
现在干了吗
Is it dry yet?
我们今晚把剩下的戏拍完
We'll shoot the'rest of the horror film tonight.
我会穿上戏服然后跳下屋顶
I'll put on the costume and jump off the roof.
我本来不应该在婚礼之前跟你说这件事的
I wasn't going to tell you this until the morning of the wedding.
但是我还有另一个惊喜
But I have another surprise.
我给你和露买♥♥了一个特别的蜜月套餐
I bought you and Lu a special honeymoon package.
为期一周的在蜜月度假村的浪漫之旅
A week in the romance suite at the Honeymoon'resort in...
在佛罗里达州的迈阿密
Miami, Florida!
我的天啊
Oh my God.
科罗拉多州的露营之旅只是听起来
A camping trip in Colorado is...
没有那么的浪漫
just not that romantic.
任何人都能露营
Anyone can go camping.
然后睡在石头上一个礼拜
And sleeping on hard rocks for seven days
和色彩缤纷的蜘蛛和昆虫同居
with a select assortment of spiders and insects
但这不是一个和谐婚姻好的开始
is no way to start off a harmonious marriage
我向你保证
I assure you.
科拉
Cora
我感激你做的一切 但是
I appreciate the thought, but-
别弄乱你的唇彩
Don't mess up your lip gloss!
好了 你准备好看你的新妆了吗
Okay. Are you'ready to see yourself?
我头发
My hair.
这是不是美极了
Isn't it gorgeous?
变金发了
It's blonde.
我想着这和你的婚纱会很搭的
I thought it would go perfectly with your wedding dress!
你们都准备好了吗 已经差不多三个小
Are you all'ready yet? It's been almost three ho-
不好意思 齐拉
I'm sorry, Zilla.
只是你看起来像是
It's just that you look like a cross between
芭比娃娃和女王陛下的合体
a Barbie doll and Queen Victoria.
现在并不适合嘲笑我
This is not, A good time to laugh.
这将会是最棒的
This will be great.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
当然了
Of course.
狼人的侧影将映衬在树上
The werewolf will be silhouetted against the trees.
不 我意思是你确定这样做安全吗
No, I mean are you sure it's safe?
特技演员总是做这种事
Stunt doubles do it all the time.
但我很肯定他们中有很多人死了
Well yeah, but I'm pretty sure a lot of them die.
如果我挂了
If I die
你要负责把这个剪辑好然后
make sure this gets edited and
在周末之前上传
submitted before Sunday.
别生我的气 这都是你自己做的
Hey, don't get mad at me. You did this to yourself.
我没做这些事
I didn't do this to myself!
这都是你妈做的
Your mother did.
没错 是你让她这样做的
Exactly. And you let her.
我的童年故事是有哪一部分你没听懂吗
What part of my childhood stories do you not understand?
不要让这个女人拿着睫毛膏
Do not let this woman get within three feet of you
卷发棒和镊子靠近你三尺以内
with mascara, a curling iron, or a set of tweezers!
如果你不走的话 我就不用这样做了
I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't left!
我就应该坐在这里
Oh, I'm supposed to sit around here
让我的头泡在有毒的废物里面
and let my head get dipped into toxic waste because
因为你没有胆子站起来为你自己说话