手机人生（2014）

I feel at home with them, you know?
也很有趣
It's also fun,
因为我基本上可以战胜他们每一个人
Because I can pretty much deliver a chess beatdown on any one of them.
为什么所有的男生都这样 一切都是运动
Why do all boys do that? Everything is a sport.
就好像不假装相互竞争
It's like you have to pretend to be competitive with each other
就没资格称兄道弟一样
as an excuse to enjoy each other's company.
哦 不像女生
Oh, unlike girls,
她们装做很享受相互陪伴的时光
Who pretend to enjoy each other's company
以此作为相互竞争的借口
as an excuse to be competitive with each other?
什么 不 那只是
What? No, that is...
什么
What?
那完全是
That's completely...
哦 拜托
Oh, come on,
你就这点能耐
Is that all you got?
我让你哑口无言了吗
Did I just render you speechless?
好吧 我曾经也说不出话来过
Okay, I have been speechless before. Once.
九年级的时候
In ninth grade.
当时我把智齿拔了
When I had my wisdom teeth pulled
一张嘴就特别疼
And it physically hurt to open my mouth.
那么
So...
点些什么呢
What to order?
不想点那些乱糟糟的东西
Don't want something too messy,
所以假日沙拉就免了吧
So the fiesta salad is probably out...
你懂吧 第一次约会要面对的难题
You know, the first date conundrum.
当然不算是正式的约会
Not that this is a date, officially.
我们只是出来转转
It's just us hanging out.
下完棋之后
Apres-chess.
可有可无的约会似的见面
Kind of a date-optional... sort of deal...
哇哦 煎蛋卷看起来不错
Wow, the omelette looks good.
可以配上薯条
Maybe with fries.
没有那么乱糟糟
It's not too messy.
我马上就回来
I will be right back.
好的
Okay.
嗨 佐伊 约会怎么样了
Hey, Zoey, how's your date going?
被我弄得一团糟
I'm a mess out there.
约会这种事儿我没什么经验
I haven't really been on very many dates,
我完全不知道自己在做什么
And I have no idea what I'm doing.
而且我穿得太隆重了
And I'm really over-dressed.
我也没什么主意
I have no idea either.
我从没约过会
I've never been on a date before.
昨天才有男生第一次跟我说话
Boys just started talking to me for the first time yesterday.
我不知道该怎么让一个男生喜欢你
I don't know how to get a boy to like you.
男生到底喜欢什么呀
What do boys even like?
竞争
Competition.
没错 他们的确喜欢这个
Yeah, they do like that.
我要回去了
I gotta go.
嗨
Hey.
呃
Uh...
跟我调情
Flirt with me.
不好意思
Sorry about that.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
我不禁注意到你是如此美丽
I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are.
真的 谢谢
Really? Thank you.
你真是太好了
That is very sweet of you.
你的双眼
Those eyes...
你♥爸♥爸是窃贼吗
Was your dad a thief?
因为他一定是窃取了天上的星星
Because he must have stolen the stars
才做了这对精巧的宝石
to make those little gems.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
我叫佐伊
My name is Zoey.
这是有史以来最美的名字
That is the most beautiful name ever.
佐伊
Zoey...
它就像蜂蜜一样流淌过双唇
It rolls off the lips like... like honey.
你和这位美丽的女士一起的吗
Are you here with this fine lady?
她真是美貌惊人 不是吗
She's magnificent, isn't she?
是的 当然 我是和这位
Yeah, sure, I'm here with this...
美貌惊人的 蜜糖宝石般的女士一起的
Magnificent, honey-like gem...
你知道的 如果他不理解你有多么迷人
You know, if he doesn't understand what a catch you are,
或许你可以和我
Perhaps you and I...
不用了 谢谢
No, thank you.
我觉得我的这位朋友很好
I think my date gets the idea.
哥们儿 是一边眉毛
Guys, it's one eyebrow.
是一边
It's the...
不是两边
Not both.
只是一边
Just the one.
刚才在餐厅发生的事情真是奇怪
That was weird, what happened at the diner.
搞不清楚发生了什么
I have no idea what happened there.
我也不知道
No idea.
男生觉得你很美丽动人也不是你的错
Hey, well, it's not your fault boys find you irresistible.
我到家了
Um, this is me.
哦 对了
Oh, right.
谢谢
Thanks...
你的衣服
For that.
今晚过得很开心
I had a good time tonight.
我也是 手♥机♥小姐
I did too, smartphone.
我该走了
I should get going.
到学校再见
I'll see you at school?
嗯 好啊
Uh, yeah.
当然了
Sure.
谢谢
Thank you.
我能问个事儿吗
Can I ask you something?
我会对你全神贯注的
You have my undivided attention.
我是说 真的
I mean, really.
分散我的注意力是不可能的
It's impossible to divide my attention.
假如你和某人出去
Let's say you went out with someone...
哦 你今晚约会了
Oh, you had a date tonight?
呃 我也不确定算不算约会
Uh, I'm not really sure you could call it that.
那个家伙有些
The guy's a little...
让人困惑
Confusing.
是这样 在我有限的经验中
Well, in my limited experiences,
男生如果让人困惑
Boys are confusing
通常是我们自己也不太清楚
usually when we're confused ourselves.
常常是因为女生而困惑
usually by a girl.
好吧 但我有迷惑别人的权利
Okay, but I have a right to be confusing.
新家 新学校 你们所有人
A new house, a new school, all of you guys.
这些都 都很有压力
It's all just, it's very stressful.
我们也不得不适应一个新姐姐
Hey, we've had to adjust to a new sister.
听着 男生女生并没有什么区别
Look, boys are no different from girls.
每天结束的时候
At the end of the day,
我们都会觉得压力很大
we're all stress-cases sometimes.
你
You?
你真的以为我没有烦恼吗
You really think that I don't worry?
我无时无刻不在担心
I worry all the time.
担心得不得了
It's all I do.
我担心的是不能让球队失望
I worry about not disappointing the team,
不能让我爸失望
Not letting down my dad,
担心上不了好大学
Not getting into college.
我是说 球探已经开始观察我了
I mean, scouts are starting to watch me now.
你以为我为什么总是到处跑来跑去
Why do you think I'm always rushing around everywhere?
好吧 现在不再跑来跑去了
Well, not that I'm really rushing around much anymore.
听着 我的重点是
Look, my point is,
这个家伙
This guy?
或许可以试试放松一点 对他别太苛刻
Maybe try and relax and cut him some slack, huh?
男生可能会让你头疼 但我们会懂事的
Boys can be a pain, but we come around.
最终会的
Eventually.
谢谢你 亚当
Thanks, Adam.
晚安
Good night.
嗨 佐伊
Hey, Zoey.
有一个新姐姐是件大事 但是
Having a new sister is a big deal, but...
不全是坏事
It hasn't been all bad.
我就知道你们又回来了 脏东西