手机人生（2014）

Wow, you seem a little...
对男生痴狂
Oh, boy crazy?
没错 诊断结果就是这么说的
Yeah, that's the official diagnosis.
嘿 查理
Hey, Charlie.
和你说话很开心
It was nice talking to you!
说说你吧
So, what's your deal?
你有什么爱好
What kind of stuff are you into?
跳舞 我很喜欢
Uh, dance, that's my passion.
不会吧
You're kidding.
我也是个舞者哦
I'm a dancer, too!
舞者这词有些自以为是啦
Well, "Dancer," Is putting it generously.
那你今天准备参加学校舞蹈队的选拔吗
Are you trying out for a varsity squad today?
当然了
Oh, yeah, definitely.
其实我在以前的学校也跳舞来着
I actually danced at my old school,
而且本来今年应该去参加州总决赛的
And I was supposed to go to state finals this year,
不过
But, um, well,
因为搬到这里了
I moved here, so...
哇 好厉害啊
Wow. Fancy.
哪天你出人头地了
Hey, when you make it to the big leagues,
可不要忘了我们这些小人物哦
Don't forget us little people.
我是说真正意义上的小
And I do mean "Little."
因为你看上去比我高半头
Literally, you're like a foot taller than me.
好了 你的教室到了
Well, this is your room.
认识你很开心 佐伊
It was great meeting you, Zoey.
我也是
You too.
谢谢你
Thank you.
不客气
No problem.
呃 好吧
Uh... Okay.
我想
I'm guessing that
除非那个虫子会解二次方程
unless that bug can solve quadratic equations,
否则你们肯定不是在上高等代数
this is not advanced algebra.
你该去西区242室
You want west 242
在学校的另一边
On the other side of campus.
凯尔同学
Mr. Kale!
请注意听课
Pay attention!
一会儿有个随堂测试
There will be a quiz.
是要考蟑螂吗
On the praying mantis?
非洲巨绿蟑螂
Sphodromantis viridis?
昆虫纲节肢动物中的食肉者
Carnivorous member of phylum arthropoda, class insecta?
主要特征有 擅长用前腿捕食
Distinguished by its raptorial forelegs
以及母虫子会吃公虫子
and a tendency for the females to eat the males?
我想我已经准备好了
I think I'm ready for it.
摘掉你的太阳镜
Just put away the sunglasses
送这个姑娘去西区242室
And escort this young lady to west 242.
你也是这里的学生吗
So, you're a student here?
很显然是了
Obviously, you're a student here.
如果你是其他学校的学生
If you went somewhere else,
你可能就去其他学校了
You'd probably be there.
是的 有可能
Yes, I probably would...
就不会在这儿了
...be there.
也不是说在这儿就不好
Not that that would be a bad thing.
可是这学校也太疯狂了
I mean, this place is nuts.
简直像部恐怖片
It's like a horror movie.
不对
No, it's like...
应该说是部吓人的自然纪录片
It's like that crazy nature video,
我不断地被互相放屁的
And I'm constantly being attacked by horrible praying mantis-boys
蟑螂似的可怕男生攻击
who fart on each other all day.
也难怪你戴着太阳镜 像个独行狼似的
No wonder you do the silent-lone-wolf sunglass-rebel thing.
哦 这个
Oh, this?
这是早上煎饼溅上的
It's pancake mishap this morning.
不是 我没
No, no, no, I'm not...
我没在看那个
I'm not looking at that.
呃 那你在看什么呢
Okay, well then, what are you looking at?
我在看你
I'm looking at you.
好吧
Okay...
所以说
So, uh...
我们俩
Here we are...
站在走廊
in the hallway,
互相看着彼此
Looking at each other.
真是一点也不奇怪啊
That's not weird.
我觉得我已经了解你了
I think I've got you figured out.
- 真的吗 - 嗯
- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.
你应该是这样的人
You like things just so.
房♥间很整洁 海报贴得很整齐
Your room is clean, your posters are framed,
我敢打赌
And I bet all of your books
你的书都包着你自己做的书皮
have nice little homemade covers on them.
而且我还感觉到你的艺术气息
And I'm getting an artistic vibe.
你是不是
Maybe...
喜欢跳舞
Maybe dance?
我刚才是说了独行狼吗
Okay, did I say lone wolf?
应该是古怪的通灵独行狼
I think I meant, weirdly psychic lone wolf.
哦 还严重地沉迷于手♥机♥
Oh, and a serious phone addiction.
我猜你肯定是整天盯着手♥机♥屏幕
I bet you stare at that screen all day long.
郑重申明
Okay, for the record,
我限制自己每天只玩俩小时
I limit myself to two hours a day.
最多三小时
Three, tops.
手♥机♥上有软件到时间会提醒我
I have an app that times me.
哦
Oh...
挺不错啊
That's impressive.
你的教室到了
So, this is your room.
后会有期了 智能手♥机♥女孩
I'll see you around, smartphone.
抱歉 借过
Sorry. Excuse me.
你来啦
You're here!
我有个好消息
Hey, I've got good news.
我和我的伙伴们讨论过了
I talked it over with my posse
大家都同意你加入我们一伙儿
And we're all cool with you joining our crew.
我说的伙伴们其实只有我
And by "my posse," I mean, "me."
一伙儿也是指我自己
And by "crew," I mean, well, "me" again.
事实上 我就像个社交浮萍
Truth is, I'm kind of a "Social floater"
漂浮于各个朋友团体之间
And right now I'm floating between friend groups,
因为 有时候
Because, sometimes,
大家都不喜欢我这张唠叨的嘴
people have trouble with my tendency to talk excessively
但其实也没人会真正听我说话
while no one's really listening.
所以
So maybe...
你愿意跟我做朋友吗
Do you want to be friends?
我和我的伙伴们先讨论一下
Hmm, let me talk it over with my posse.
他们同意了 我愿意
Yup, they're cool. I'm in.
起立
Stand!
简单说吧
This is very simple.
舞蹈队人已经满了
Varsity squad is full!
不接收新的舞者了
No new dancers are needed.
你们这些整天只知道讲数学的人是进不来的
That's zero for all you fools that speak math.
但是如果你们能展现出我们所需要的特质
But if you exhibit the traits we care about--
生命力 自♥由♥ 和对快乐的追求
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness--
完美
Perfection!
纪律 服从
Discipline. Obedience.
对 就是这些
Right, those.
如果你们能展现出这样的特质以及各种优秀的特质
If you exhibit these traits and are all kinds of awesome...
很多种
Many, many kinds.
那么也许还能有你的位置
Then maybe we have a place for you,
但是你们必须达到一个新的水平
But you have to be next level.
你们要让我们觉得惊艳
You have to wow us.
你们得有这种感觉
You have to be...
嘭
Boom.
是的 嘭
Totally. Boom!
闭嘴
No.
你不准说这个词
You don't say "Boom."
只有我才可以说
Only I say "Boom."
用你自己的词
Get your own thing.
知道了 对不起
Will do, sorry.
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