手机人生（2014）

对呀
Of course!
释放 没错
Release! Yes!
佐伊 佐伊
Zoey. Zoey!
你怎么可能用一个智能手♥机♥应用控制男孩们呢
You are not controlling the boys with a magical smartphone app!
你只是心情不好
You're just upset.
不是 妈妈
No, mom,
这是真的
This is real, okay?
我给你演示一下 看着
I will show you. Watch.
让我把手♥机♥拿出来
Let me just get my phone.
手♥机♥ 手♥机♥不见了
It's, um... It's gone.
哦 教练
Uh, coach? Sir?
不好意思打扰您了
Sorry to bother you,
比赛马上要开始了
But the game is starting soon.
好的
Right.
我得试着执教我的队伍
I've gotta try and coach my team.
走吧
Let's go.
你可得把手♥机♥找到
You have to find that phone.
它在哪儿呢
Where is it?
这是我记忆力最后一次拿着手♥机♥的地方
This is the last place I knew I had it.
跟杰克森的事情变得诡异之后我就来这儿了
After things got weird with Jackson, I came in here,
我洗了洗脸
And I washed my face, and...
当时还有别人在这儿吗
Was anyone else in here?
哦不
Oh, no.
跟普通手♥机♥也没什么不同啊
It just looks like a regular phone.
可不一样
It's not.
这就是那个无名小辈获得成功的原因所在
This is why that little nobody is so successful.
这些应用里有一个可以控制男生
One of these apps can control boys, okay?
手♥机♥应用简直万能
You know, these apps can do anything.
我有一个能做数学题的
I even have one that does math.
计算器应用吗
The calculator app?
简直神奇
It's magical.
好吧 我正式宣布你不允许再说话了
Okay, I'm officially invoking the rule where you can't talk anymore.
懂吗 好的
Okay? Okay.
她这上面装了几百万个应用
She's got, like, six million apps on this thing.
等等 这是什么
Wait, what is this?
听话与服从
"Listen and obey."
发出你的指令
"Plays a sound
然后就可以转换成狗狗的语言
that makes your commands irresistible to dogs?"
摇摆
Shake.
我是个超级坏女孩
I'm a super bad girl
超级坏女孩
Super, super bad girl
好的
Okay.
他们总是说话圆滑
They always talkin' slick
因为他们都知道我是个超级坏女孩
'cause they know that I'm a super bad girl...
你们都给我
You guys...
跳机器舞
Robot dance.
超级坏女孩
Super bad girl
超级坏女孩
Super, super bad girl...
你们呢 给我跳排舞
And you guys? Kick line.
我是个超级坏女孩 超级坏女孩
I'm a super bad girl super, super bad girl...
特里普不喜欢这样
Tripp does not like this.
哈哈
Well...
比赛前的场面有点奇怪啊
Things just got a little strange here, pre-game.
两队似乎在上演一场
The two teams appear to be starting some sort of
八十年代风格的舞蹈对决
musical theater, '80s funk-robot dance-off.
你们所有人
All of you!
都向我鞠躬
Bow down to me!
这可不妙
Oh, this isn't good.
我们该怎么办
What are we going to do?
简单
Uh, simple.
在泰勒把地球上所有男人全变成
Figure out a way to get the phone from Taylor before she turns
她的奴隶军队 并把整个世界推向永久黑暗之前
the entire male population of planet earth into her personal slave army,
想办法从她手里把手♥机♥夺过来
plunging the planet into darkness for all eternity.
我觉得咱们有办法让她停下了
I think I know a way we can get her to stop.
怎么回事儿
What's happening?
这是个疯狂的快闪吗
Is one of those crazy flash mobs?
我喜欢这个软件
I love this app!
佐伊 嗨
Zoey, hi.
你在找失物招领处吗
Are you looking for the lost and found?
泰勒 你得停下了
Taylor, you need to stop.
是吗
I do?
你得相信我一回 懂吗
You need to believe me, okay?
这个软件 什么问题也解决不了
This app, it isn't going to solve anything.
事实是 强迫男生做你想让他们做的事
The truth is, forcing boys to do what you want them to,
并不能让你的生活变得有多好
It doesn't make life any better.
你得让他们做自己
You've just got to let them be themselves
并学着接受他们本来的样子
and learn to accept them anyway.
说的可真好啊
Well, that's a beautiful sentiment.
真的
Really, you know,
你应该去贺卡公♥司♥工作
You should go work for a greeting card company.
好吧 我想想
Okay, let me think about that.
不行
Nope!
听着 我才不会停下来呢
Okay, look, I'm not going to stop.
连你都没管住自己 不是吗
I mean, you didn't stop, did you?
你难道真觉得学校里最酷的男生 明明可以搞定
Do you really think it's a coincidence the coolest guy in school,
包括我在内的任何人 却选择了你 是个巧合吗
who could have anyone, even me-- just saying-- would chose her?
不
No!
杰克森 我从来没在你身上用过那个软件
Jackson, I never used the app on you.
除了让你吻我那次 我很抱歉
Except to make you kiss me, and I'm sorry.
你自己把世界搅和得一团糟
And now you just want me to give it up?
现在倒来劝我放弃
After you so totally messed with my world?
也许
Maybe...
我也应该在你的世界里搅和搅和
I should mess with your world a little.
你为什么不像条狗一样绕着球场蹭呢 教练
Why don't you scooch around on the ground like a dog, coach?
还有你
And you...
嚎叫起来
Howl.
还有 还有你
And, uh, and you...
行了 泰勒 停下
Okay, Taylor, stop.
别伤害我的家人 他们什么也没做
Don't hurt my family, they didn't do anything.
请别把手♥机♥用在他们身上
Just please don't use the phone on them.
在我身上用吧
Use it on me.
可是它在女孩身上不管用啊
Yeah, but it doesn't work on girls.
你想让我♥干♥什么我都照办
I'll do anything you want,
你就说出你的指令吧
Just... say the command.
乞求
Beg.
喘气
Pant!
坐下
Sit!
摇摆
Shake.
打滚
Roll over!
你怎么
How did you...?
我是你弟弟
I'm your brother.
我们在一起
We stick together.
不要
No!
都停下
Okay, stop!
你们把一切都毁了
You're ruining everything!
过来
Get back!
从她身边走开
Get away from her!
怎么没用啊
Why isn't this working?
因为大家都知道
Because everyone knows,
你永远也没办法让一只狗背叛它的伙伴们
you can never make a dog turn against its own pack.
对了 那边的吉祥物
Oh, and by the way, that mascot right there,
里面可不是个男生
That's not a boy.
嘭
Boom.
不
No!
释放
Release!
抱歉
Sorry.
我不太清楚刚才发生了什么
I'm not really sure what just happened...
但我很确定
But I'm pretty sure
明天可能就更说不清了
it's gonna make even less sense tomorrow.
赛前准备时间到
Uh... and the final pre-game seconds have ticked down!