无上婚宴

我妈是提维群岛人
Mum's from the Tiwi Islands.
我在达尔文长大
I grew up in Darwin.
那你们是要什么样的婚礼 比如说
So, what are we talking? Are we talking...
狄洁里都号♥角和部落舞蹈吗
..didgeridoos and tribal dancing?
澳大利亚土著用的低沉音木管乐器
-还是面部彩绘 -妈
- Face paint? - Mum!
我希望爸爸也能来
I wish Dad could come.
他会喜欢你的
He would have loved you.
我也很喜欢她 内德
I love her too, Ned.
我不是那个意思
That's not what I'm saying.
我们知道
We know.
达尔文
别忘了 我妈喜欢干净整洁
So, don't forget, Mum loves the place clean and tidy.
我爸不喜欢男人穿的像小伙子一样
Oh, and Dad has this thing about men dressing up as boys,
所以把你的衬衫塞进去
so tuck your shirt in.
-我穿的是T恤啊 -把T恤塞进去
- I'm wearing a T-shirt. No, tuck your shirt in.
我不喜欢这么穿
I'm not a tucker.
不行 要把T恤塞进去
No, tuck your shirt in!
-我从不塞T恤 劳伦 -讲点礼貌
- I don't tuck the tee, Lauren! - Have some manners!
你应该庆幸我没有穿成那家伙的样子
Hey, you should be thankful I don't dress like that guy.
还把T恤塞进去
Tuck in the tee!
爸
Dad?!
你穿着睡衣干什么
Oi! What are you wearing pyjamas for?
睡过头了
Slept in.
不是吧 现在是下午三点啊
Hey, come on, now. It's three in the afternoon.
真丢脸
Shame job!
没时间收拾了
Didn't have time to clean up.
你能把车后备箱打开吗
Can you please just open the boot?
终于见到您本人了 您好
Finally get to meet you in person. Hello.
那是什么玩意
What's that thing?
它是雪儿
Oh, this is Cher.
雪儿 跟爷爷打声招呼
Cher, say hello to your grandfather.
没错
Oh, yeah!
它很喜欢你
Ohh! He likes you.
您喜欢哪种称呼
What do you want to be called?
爷爷
Uh, Grandpa?
祖父 还是外公
Grampy? Gramps?
爸比
Poppa?
爹地 爹地熊熊
Pappy... Pappy Bear?
爸
Pop?
把这鬼东西放你腿上
Put the shit on your laps.
蠢货别挡路
Get off the frig gin' road!
打指示灯 你个混账
Put your indicator on, you dick!
你是想当圣诞老人吗
You trying to be Santa or what?
忘记刮胡子了
Forgot to shave.
我还没见过谁穿睡衣配短裤呢
I've never seen pyjamas with shorts. Huh!
爸 这是怎么回事
Dad, what's going on?
我妈呢
Where's Mum?
♪ 如果你现在离开我 ♪
♪ If you leave me now ♪
♪ 你将带走我最重要的部分 ♪
♪ You'll take away the biggest part of me... ♪
♪ 宝贝不要走 ♪
♪ Ooh, no, baby, please don't go ♪
♪ 如果你现在离开我 ♪
♪ And if you leave me now... ♪
她就留下这一句话吗
That's all she wrote?
"我受够了" 没了吗
"I'm done"? That's it?
我醒来的时候她已经走了
Well, I just woke up and she was gone.
我想打电♥话♥找她的时候发现了这个
I tried calling her and... found that.
薄荷茶可以吗
Mint tea?
她还给我打了几次电♥话♥来着
She tried calling me a couple times.
她给你打电♥话♥了吗 什么时候
She called? When?
-饼干要么 -记不清了 几天前
- Biscuit? - I don't know. A few days ago.
-你没接吗 -爸 我一直很忙的
- What, and you didn't pick up? - Dad, I've been busy.
-我什么也没说啊 -别把责任推给我
- Well, I didn't say nothing. - Don't try to blame me.
我什么也没说啊
I didn't say nothing!
-这是她的手♥机♥吗 -是的
- Is this her phone? - Yes!
我打电♥话♥说我们要回来结婚的时候
You didn't think to tell me all this
你都没有告诉我这件事
when I called to say we were coming up to get married?
-十天内结婚 -就十天
-In 10 days. - In 10 days!
我以为她会回来的
I thought maybe she'd be back by now.
我受够了 听起来不太妙对吧
"I'm done." It doesn't sound very good, does it?
我勒个去
Oh, shit.
难言之隐日渐沉重
"The things unsaid were getting too loud.
山盟海誓而今不再
"Ignoring each other is not what we vowed.
吾女之叛不接电♥话♥
"Not even my daughter will pick up the phone,
吾之所往孑孓一身
"So I'm leaving you all to go it alone."
诗写的不太好 是吧
Not much of a poet, eh?
等着看
Wait for it.
绝了
Huh! Amazing.
♪ 如果你现在离开我 ♪
♪ If you leave me now ♪
♪ 你将带走我最重要的部分 ♪
♪ You'll take away the biggest part of me... ♪
劳伦 你不能把我扔给你♥爸♥
Lauren, you can't leave me alone with him.
让我和你一起去吧
Let me come with you.
-去我的单身之夜吗 -为啥不行
To my hens' night? Why not?
我不介意吃鸡鸡蛋糕
I don't mind eating penis cake
也不管你做什么
or... whatever it is you do at these things.
我和他待在一起能做什么
What am I supposed to do with him?
在杂物间里跳慢摇吗
Slow-dance in the pantry?
一起看球就行了
Just turn on the footy.
真的吗 他喜欢足球 他支持哪队
Really? He likes his football? Who does he support?
澳式足球啊 笨蛋 我们现在在北澳
Aussie Rules, dickhead. We're in the NT.
劳伦 我讨厌澳式足球
Oh, Lauren! I hate Aussie Rules!
我的天哪
Oh, my God!
你能不能至少假装关心一下
Can you at least pretend like you care
我这个正在分崩离析的家庭
that my family's falling apart?
我关心 劳伦 我就要和你结婚了
I do care, Lauren. I'm getting married to you...
-不结了 -什么
- Not anymore. - What?
我的意思是 现在不能结了
I mean, not anymore... I mean... now.
我之前不知道这回事
I didn't know this was gonna happen.
但要是我妈不能出席我不能结婚
But I can't get married if my mum isn't here.
我还是想跟你结婚
I still want you to be my husband.
等一到两个月 她回来了我们就结婚
We'll get married in a month or two when she's back.
反正十天就结婚这件事也很蠢
This whole 10-day thing was stupid anyway.
你能打电♥话♥给阿德莱德那边的人吗
Can you call the Adelaide mob?
告诉他们这个坏消息
Give 'em the bad news?
他们已经在订机票了
Th-they're already booking their flights!
那就赶紧通知他们吧
Uh-huh. Then do it quickly.
等等 等一下
Hold on a second. Hold on!
所以你就可以出去和朋友们吃鸡鸡蛋糕
So you get to go out with your friends and eat penis cake
而我得和这个杂物间侠待在一起
while I stay here with Pantry Man
还要把坏消息通知我家里人吗
and disappoint my family?
杂物间侠 去你♥妈♥的♥
Pantry Man? Fuck...
没错
Exactly.
我就喝一杯 告诉姐♥妹♥们♥一声就回来
I'll just have one drink, tell the girls and come home.
-就一杯 -一杯 是吗
- One drink! - One drink, yeah.
别这样
Oh, don't!
鸡鸡吸管 不是吧
Toodoi straws? Really?
他们这儿没有黑色的
They didn't have any black ones.
我觉得这家店有点种族歧视
I think the party store is a bit racist.
她为什么会想要黑色的呢
Why would she be wanting black toodoi
她已经有了白色的
when she getting white toodoi?
别这样
Don't start!
现在你只能享受一个鸡鸡咯
Oh, only one toodoi for you now!
我已经很久没有了
I haven't had toodoi in a while.
天呐 你们这些家伙真不知羞
Oh, my God! You mob got no shame!
小骚货 我们才开始热身呢
Hey, cudgery, we're just getting warmed up.
现在 一起吸白色鸡鸡
Now, give me my white toodoi!
中场传球 天哪 正面一对一
Centring ball, Rioli! The one-on-one!
真是精彩的传球啊
Oh, outstanding play.
他没出一点错
And he makes no mistake.
放松点 小骚货
Loosen up, cudgery!
你现在又不是在什么法庭上
You're not in some fancy courtroom now.
你是和姐♥妹♥们♥在蹦迪
You're at Throb with your sister girls!