洋葱电影（2008）

贝茨6000
the Bates 6,000.
现在各大商店就有销♥售♥
And it's available in stores right now.
[wheels screeching] [car honking]
混♥蛋♥
[man yells] Asshole!
嘿 我刚刚给贝茨7000卸货
Hey, I just dropped off this shipment of the Bates 7,000.
没卖♥♥完的6000怎么办
Now, what do you want me to do with the leftover 6,000?
6000?
6,000s?
他妈的直接扔进垃圾桶算了
Throw them in the fucking garbage where they belong.
没错
[Bates] That's right!
是八千型号♥内存的两倍
Twice the memory capacity of the 8,000.
贝茨先生 有来客
[secretary] Mr. Bates, you have a visitor.
别挂
Hang on.
请进
Come in.
嗨
Hi.
嗨
Huh!
[wheels rolling]
[whistles]
[comedic music plays *]
[dog growls]
[saw starts]
[grunting]
[war cry]
[whip swooshing]
[chanting] Na-na-na-na-nanah!
[raspberry]
贝茨现年四十二岁
Bates was 42.
下一条 经过在贝蒂·金诊所六个月的调养...
In other news, after a six month stint at the Betty King clinic,
演员布雷斯·布兰德终于回家了
actor Bryce Brand finally returned home today.
没错 诺姆
That's right Norm.
我正在布雷斯·布兰德好莱坞豪♥宅♥的门外...
I'm here outside superstar Bryce Brand's Hollywood Hills mansion
他应该马上就从贝蒂金诊所返回了
where at any moment, he's due to return from his stay at the Betty King clinic.
[car approaching]
布雷斯
Bryce!
[wheels screeching]
波比 宝贝
Papi Baby!
布雷斯 - 波比 宝贝
Bryce. - Papi Baby!
波比 宝贝
Papi Baby!
我回来了
I'm back!
你气色不错
You look great.
告诉你 戒毒后的感觉真好...
I cannot tell you how good I feel now
尽情感受生活
that I'm off the drugs and high on life. [laughs]
嘿 他们正是这么说的
[Bryce's manager] Hey. That's what they're saying. [chuckles]
哦
[Bryce] Oh!
老兄
Man,
我原来真是一团糟
was I a mess! [chuckles]
但是现在一切都改变了 我脱离了毒品 头脑清醒
But all that's changed now that I'm clean and sober.
我还从不知道 消除了毒品的眩晕 生活竟会如此美好
You know, I never knew how amazing life can be without the haze of drugs.
这些小事情 就像...
It's the little things like...
呼吸花朵的芬芳
...smelling flowers.
嗯
Humph.
[fantasy music plays *]
或者欣赏落日
Or watching the sunset.
或者就在沙滩上走走
Or just walking along the beach.
你要知道这些事 远比药物更能带给我享受
You know, this things get me way higher than drugs ever could.
这很好 布雷斯
That's great, um, Bryce.
为了重振你的事业我们还有很多要做的
So, we have got a lot of catching up to do with your career.
我带了一个剧本
Now, I brought a script.
很棒的剧本
It's fantastic.
实际上 你的部分是喜剧
Actually, your part is comedic.
是个爱耍嘴皮子的...
Uh, it's sort of a Hawaii-- - This can't be real.
波比 这株甘菊太神奇了 真是销魂 伙计
It's so amazing! It's blowing my mind, man!
你也闻闻
Smell this!
不用了 谢谢
No, thank you.
回到剧本上 为了拿到它我们付出了...
Though, um, back to the script, again,
[Bryce] Papa! [Bryce's manager] it took a lot to get this--
波比 我从戒毒中学到的一件事情
One thing sobriety has taught me
就是你需要花点时间
is that you have to take time out
享受生活中的小小快乐
to enjoy life's little pleasures.
[**]
你能把茶放下片刻吗
Can you put the tea down for a second?
[**]
布雷斯?
Bryce.
天啊 - 布雷斯?
Oh, my God! - Bryce.
天啊
Oh, my God!
[**]
布兰登将在一家时尚的洛杉矶夜♥总♥会♥参加为期八周的强化再毒理学项目
Brandon will spent eight weeks in an intensive re-tox program at a trendy L.A. nightclub.
谢谢，达娜
Thanks, Dana.
干得好
Nice work.
真的吗
Really?
干得真好
Great job.
谢谢
Thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
《洋葱新闻》报道，我是Dana Dobbs
At "Onion News," I'm Dana Dobbs.
[swoosh]
随着我国监狱的犯人人数激增
The nation's rapidly growing prison population,
最近总数已逾两千万之多
which recently passed the 20 million mark,
使得监狱严重超载
has created a severe overcrowding problem.
为了减缓这一问题
In an attempt to alleviate the overcrowding,
政♥府♥今天宣布让部分犯人住进
the government announced today, that a random selection of U.S. households
随机选出的本土家庭
will be asked to take prisoners into their homes.
[camera shutters]
你好
Hi.
你好
Uh...
我是迪克
I'm Dick.
这是我妻子 萨拉
Thi-this is my wife, Sarah.
这是我们的女儿 爱丽
This is our daughter Ally.
这是我们的儿子 鲍比 十岁
And this is our son, Bobby, he's ten.
欢迎
Welcome.
来我们家
To our home.
你好
What's up?
[grunting] Oh, come on, bitch!
[grunting]
别让这鬼玩意砸下来 婊♥子♥
Don't drop this shit on me, bitch.
[toy sirens]
[grunting]
左边
Lift!
左边
Lift! [husband yells]
你♥他♥妈♥愣着干嘛
What the fuck are you doing?
你♥他♥妈♥干吗傻站着
Don't just stand there.
给你男人拿点喝的去
Get your man something to drink!
[quiet fart]
妈的 能看到女人真爽
Damn, it's good to see some women.
嗯 嗯
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
犯人先生 我的文身很痛
[Bobby] Mister Prisoner, my tattoo hurts.
熄灯了 伙计们
Lights out, guys.
如果计划成功
If successful,
另外的两万名犯人 也将在下月初搬入郊区家庭
another 20,000 prisoners will be moved to suburban homes by the first of next month.
[classical music plays *] [film project spinning]
你好 再次欢迎来到我们的电影聚焦
Hello and welcome once again to "Focus on Film."
我是肯尼斯·加博
I'm Kenneth Garner and...
和我在一起的是奎米·罗伯特 全国非洲裔美国人联盟主席
I'm joined by Kwame Roberts, President of the National Coalition of African Americans,
和詹姆斯·纳卡塔米 亚裔美国人平等权维护联合会主管
and James Nakatami, Director of the Asian American Alliance for Equality.
罗伯特先生 让我们从你开始
Mr. Roberts, let's start with you.
听说你的组织对这部电影里关于 非洲裔美国人的描速不甚满意
Your organization is not pleased with this film's depiction of African Americans.
完全正确 肯尼斯
Oh, that is absolutely correct, Kenneth.
我们目前只看过上半部电影
Uh, we are just about halfway through the film
我们希望电影中能出现对有色人种 的高尚品质的描写
and we have yet to see a dignified portrayal of a person of color.
一直以来我们留给世人的映像 都是邪恶的犯罪或者性伙伴
So far, we've only been shown as um, vicious criminals or sex fiends.
看看最后的一幕就知道了
Just take a look at that last sketch.
那么你们的群体有什么具体的要求吗
So, what specifically is your group demanding?
制品方必须在电影下十分钟里
Either the filmmakers put a positive black role model
设定一个正面的黑人形象
on that screen in the next ten minutes,
要不然我们会组织全国的黑人观众罢看
or we will be organizing a nationwide walk-out of black moviegoers.
也就是说每个在看这部电影的 非洲裔美国人
That means every single African American currently watching this film,
都会从剧院退场
will exit the theater.
纳卡塔米先生 你们也不满吗
Mr. Nakatami, are you equally unhappy?
迄今为止 电影里或许
Thus far, there are maybe one
只有那么一个 最多不超过两三个东方面孔
or at the most two, three Asian faces in the film.
你对这种不被重视的现象有何感受
How do you feel about such gross under representation?
我 不 "瑞奇"
Um, me no rikey.
什么
Excuse me?
我 不 "瑞奇"
Me, no rikey.
你不是在《十六支蜡烛》中饰演Long Duk Dong的那个人吗
Aren't you the guy who played Long Duk Dong in "Sixteen Candles?"