洋葱电影（2008）

巨大的阳♥具♥
Monster cocks.
找一个洞进行深海钓鱼
Grab a pole and go deep sea fishing.
在甲板上的健身房♥进行负重训练
Work those muscles in our shipboard gym.
享受世界顶尖的按♥摩♥
Enjoy our world class spa,
或者尝试一下刺♥激♥的拉斯维加斯歌♥舞秀
or take a thrilling Las Vegas-style review.
没错 不管想要潜水还是吹♥箫♥...
Yes, whether you want to scuba dive, get blown,
或者在豪华赌场玩21点...
or play blackjack in our glamorous casino,
你要的在内森女皇二号♥应有尽有
the Queen Nathan II is what you're looking for.
立刻登上内森女皇二号♥吧
So climb aboard the Queen Nathan II.
好像感觉哪里不对
That-that-that is not right. That's not right.
现在播出的是
[TV narrator] And now is time for
种族类型知多少
"Little Known Racial Stereotypes."
没错 众所周知意大利人都是土匪恶棍...
Yes, everyone knows that Italians are all monsters.
美国土著都是酒鬼
And Native Americans are all drunks.
那你知道黑人钟爱太妃糖吗
But did you know that blacks love taffy?
爱斯基摩人都是锁匠店老板也不假...
It's also true that Eskimos run all the locksmith shops.
爱尔兰人的乳♥头♥巨大...
The Irish have enormous nipples,
而波多黎各人一次性就能在钢梁上悬几个小时
and Puerto Ricans can dangle from steel beams for hours at a time.
妈的 真难以置信
[construction worker] Damn, that's unbelievable.
他怎么做到的
How does he doe that?
他是波多黎各人
Uh, he's a Puerto Rican.
还有... - 喂 你知道荷兰人喜欢跟电♥话♥推销员讲话吗
Also, did you know that the Dutch enjoy speaking with telemarketers?
签证 还有信♥用♥卡♥特别优♥惠♥
It's a special credit card offer?
秘鲁人 专门不期而至救人于危难之中
Peruvians love to swoop in and save the day at the last minute.
他们的眼睛还能发出镭射光
And they can shoot laser beams out of their eyes.
当然啦 所有的阿♥拉♥伯人都是恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
And of course, all Arabs are terrorists.
啊 这么多典型类型
Ah, stereotypes.
世界没了他们可怎么办
Can you imagine a world without them?
根据联♥合♥国♥一项新的事实调查任务
According to a new U.N. factoid finding mission,
利比里亚的非洲特派团大约有田纳西州那么大
the African mission of Liberia, is about the size of Tennessee.
考察团还发现，利比里亚有200种鸟类
The mission also found that Liberia is home to 200 species of birds,
包括蜂莺
including the bee warbler.
只比蜜蜂稍大一点的鸟
A bird only slightly larger than a bee.
[**]
[doorbell rings]
好呀
[woman] Okay!
一定是最后一名玩家
That must be our final player.
嗨 茱莉
Hi, Julie!
嗨
Hi.
欢迎
Welcome!
你的房♥子太漂亮啦
You house is so lovely.
谢谢 快请进
Oh, thank you! Come on in.
各位 这是茱莉 - 嗨
Everybody, this is Julie. Pretty cute, huh?
- 很可爱吧 - 嗨 茱莉
请坐
Have a seat.
我想这是你第一次玩"猜猜谁干的"游戏吧
So I understand this is your first who-done-it party?
你会觉得很好玩的
Ah! You are going to have so much fun!
好的
Okay.
运气好的话 聚会结束时我们
With any luck, by the end of the night,
就能查明是谁干的坏事
we'll figure out which one of us did the dirty deed.
我们中的哪个才是强♥奸♥犯
Anyone of us could be the rapist!
不好意思 你刚才是说强♥奸♥犯么
I'm sorry, did you say "rapist?"
对对 没错
Yeah, yeah I did.
通常不都是关于一桩谋杀案的吗
Don't this things usually revolve around um, um, murder?
没错 茱莉 你看 每隔几个月我们就这么玩...
Yeah, Julie, see, we do this every few months
坦白说 我们都觉得谋杀有点无聊
and frankly we were getting... a little bored with murder
于是我说
so I was like "I don't know,
"我们还可以重演什么别的暴♥力♥案件吗"
isn't there some other violent crime we can re-enact?"
那天我在商店... 找到了这个 怎样主持强♥奸♥
And I'm in the store the other day, and I find this.
棒极了 对吗
How fantastic is that?
不管啦 茱莉 因为你是新来的... 你走狗屎运啦
So anyway Julie, since you are new, lucky Julie,
你可以来演受害者
you get to be [sings] the victim.
好吧
Okay?
[quiet clapping and cheering]
我要你把这穿上
So once you put this on.
套上
Hop up.
接下来发生的是
Okay, so here's what's gonna happen.
灯光熄灭 你平躺在地板上
The lights are gonna go out, so you lie down on the floor
我们会跑进来 你已经昏死过去了
we're all gonna come running in but you're gonna be unconscious.
所以继续躺在地下
So you stay down there.
你不觉得这有点... 变♥态♥吗
Don't you think this is a little... sick?
甜心 这只是寻开心
Oh, sweetie! It's all in fun.
没人真的会强♥奸♥谁的
No one's actually raping you one.
[laughter]
我想
[laughs] I mean,
玩神秘谋杀的游戏你不会介意
You wouldn't have a problem with a murderistic game, now would ya?
我想不会
No, I guess not.
对啊 那你为什么要反对这种游戏...犯罪程度较轻
Yeah, so why would you object to a game revolving around a lesser crime
甚至都没人丧命
where no one even loses their life?
这只是另当别论
Wait, it's just a--
只是 只是
Oh, it's just a jest!
大家来吧
Come on, guys.
我们来玩游戏
Let's play the game.
拿上你们的牌 好吗
Get your cards, okay.
[clears throat]
CD在这里
Is it in?
甜心 把道具穿上
You got that on, sweetie?
好啦 躺在地上 躺在地上
Okay, get down the floor, get down the floor.
准备好被强♥奸♥了吗
Ready for a raping?
[laughs nervously]
[harp scale plays *]
[door slams open]
噢
[female voice] Oh, no!
别 请别强♥奸♥我
Please don't rape me! [zipper opens]
闭嘴 臭婊♥子♥ - 不 你在干嘛 施暴的先生
[male voice] Come on, you bitch!
[female voice] No, no, please, Mr. Raperman.
他妈的闭嘴 - 你在干嘛
[male voice] Oh, fuck off!
[female voice screams] [clothing rips]
闭嘴 臭婊♥子♥ - 噢 不要 - 闭嘴
[female voice] No, no! Oh, no, what are you doing?
[male voice] Shut up!
[female voice] No! No!
[slap] [male voice] Do not--
[female voice shouting]
[male voice] Shut up! [slaps]
[female voice screams] [bones crack]
[mysterious music plays *]
什么 喔
What? - Wow.
哦 哦
Oh, oh.
这儿出什么事啦
What happened here?
嗯 不 扶住
Um, oh, no. Um, hang on.
哇啊
Uh, oh, no!
噢 不 梅尔刘易斯市长天真纯洁的小女儿被强♥奸♥了
The sweet, innocent, young daughter of mayor Louis has been raped.
把门锁上
Lock the door!
除非找到凶手 任何人不得离开
No one is leaving until we figure out who did it.
语♥音♥真地道啊 - 谢了 哥们
That's excellent. - Thanks, man.
[clears throat loudly]
别忘了你也是嫌疑犯威尔逊警官
Uh, do not forget that you are a suspect, too, Officer Wilson.
嗯。-没错
Um. - That's right.
谁强♥奸♥了她
Um... who committed this rape?
谁？
Humph?
是... 举止怪叔叔吗
Was it... the creepy uncle?
还是什么样的妞都能泡到手的...
The handsome, young, Ivy league, fraternity brother
年轻英俊的常青藤名校学生兼兄弟会成员
who's used to getting what and who he wants?
还是刚出了保释期的囚犯
Um, the prisoner, just released on parole?
我 你不坏 谢谢
That's me. - You look nice. - Thank you.
还是街区那头老年中心...
Or, the vaguely hermaphroditic night nurse
就在街区下面的高级中心
from the senior center just down the block.
那个似乎是双性恋的夜班护士
[hostess] Uh!
他太诡异了
It's so creepy!
[squeals] Okay! Come on.
来吧 我们接着玩
Let's play, let's play.
[hostess] Okay.
谁有不在场证明？-呃！-任何人
Who's got an alibi card? - Uh! - Anyone?
我有一个
I've got one.
好的
Oh, okay.
我和老婆在一起
I was with my wife,
另外 那婊♥子♥四岁起就谎话连篇
besides, that bitch has been making up stories since she was four!
说什么都不能相信
You can't believe anything she says!
都不能相信
I don't doubt it!
我有22个兄弟会成员都 愿意发誓说我和他们在一起
I have 22 fraternity brothers who will vouch that I was with them.
[fake evil laugh]