洋葱电影（2008）

[Liz Anne] I was advising him about--
我要杀了你 臭婊♥子♥
[Armed Gunman] I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
[Liz Anne grunts]
你♥他♥妈♥是谁 警♥察♥
Who the fuck is this, you a cop?
嗯
Mmm-hmm.
那么我建议你至少存五百在支票上
Yeah, what I would recommend is that you keep at least 500 in your checking,
这样就不用交最小余额费用...
just to avoid a minimum balance fee,
把剩下的放到我们的货币市场
and put the rest in a money market,
这样还能给你赚个百分之二点利息
which will earn you an additional ah, two percent interest.
百分之三 如果你保持数目在三千以上
Three percent, if you keep your account open for 3,000.
好的
Right.
先生祝你今天过得愉快
You have a nice day, sir.
不用谢
My pleasure.
任何时候都能给我电♥话♥
And feel free to call us back anytime,
回答任何问题
if you have ah, any other questions.
[Liz Anne sighs]
嗯
Uh.
利兹·安妮
Liz Anne, uh.
对不起
Sorry.
是我不好
My-my bad.
没关系
That's okay.
无心之过
A honest mistake.
拿枪的 我一直在观察你...
Armed Gunman.
不得不说 你给我留下深刻印象
I've been watching you and I-I must say, I'm impressed.
想不想做我们新的客服主管
How'd you like to be our new Customer Services Supervisor?
[Armed Gunman gasps] Mr. P.!
皮先生 这真♥他♥妈♥是我的荣幸
It'd be my mothafucking honor.
[cheesy sitcom music plays *]
生日快乐
Happy birthday!
这是你的特别日子
It's your special day!
[**]
太好了 我们可以送你十二年的年保
Okay, we're gonna get you an annuity for 12 years on that one.
还能给你百分之八的折扣
I'll get you, I'll get you eight percent on that one.
现在都趴下 他妈的趴下 每个人
Everybody down now! Get the fuck down! Everybody!
[Armed Gunman #2]
钱都给我
Give me all your money.
快点 他妈的快点
Hurry up! Hurry the fuck up!
你干嘛 在后面磨蹭吗
What'd you doing? Playing back there?
把袋子里装满钱
Hurry up!
他妈的一个都别动
Hurry the fuck up!
你快点 他妈的快点
Hurry up, bitch.
全部钱都放进袋子里
Put the money in the bag. All of it!
把袋子装满 装满
Load up the bag up with money and nobody else fucking moves.
快点
You hurry up!
他妈的快点
Hurry the fuck up!
快放入袋里
Load the bag up. Load the bag--
[Armed Gunman #2 shouts]
[people scream]
[silence]
你让我作呕
You sicken me.
要人施舍
Asking for a handout.
而不是辛勤工作改变生活状态...
Instead of raising yourself up out of your situation through hard work.
你为什么不像别人那样找份工作呢
Why don't you get a job, like the rest of us?
[news jingle plays *]
枪王一展枪技 广受银行业尊崇
数据显示百分之八十七的美国公民超重
According to statistics, 87% of U.S. citizens are obese.
而军医署长正在采取措施解决问题
And the Surgeon General is taking steps to address the problem.
由于肥胖症在美国肆虐...
As a result of the rampant spread of obesity in the U.S.,
政♥府♥不得不提高肥胖的定义...
the government has been forced to raise
过去身体脂肪含量为55% 即算超重 现在上升到90%
the definition of obesity from 55% body fat to 90%.
这项使美国肥胖人口数目从两亿减少到一亿八千万的运动
The move, which reduces the number of obese Americans from 200 million to 185 million
在全国广受赞誉
was widely applauded from coast to coast.
政♥府♥出面对这个问题
It's high time the government stepped in
采取行动的大好时机到了
and did something about this problem.
我才不想这么胖呢
I don't wanna be obese.
一切都他妈糟透了
Man, this shit is all fucked up.
另一则新闻 乔治亚州的官员宣布...
In other news, Georgia officials announced plans
准备给乔治亚州的旗帜
to add a swastika and middle finger
加上万字饰和中指
to the Georgia state flag.
[news jingle *]
科技新闻方面，看电视变得更加方便了
In technology news, television watching has become even more convenient
随着索尼推出的新型遥控器、遥控器
with Sony's introduction of a new remote control, remote control.
操蛋！我想买♥♥一个，NND
Damn! I'm gonna get me one of them, mothafuckers.
所谓一个时代终结
In what is being called the end of an era,
全国最后一家英国餐馆今天关门了
the nation's last English restaurant closed today.
乔家饭馆是一家风格特异的亚特兰大餐馆...
Joe's Dinner, an unusual Atlantic-area eatery
不以任何运动 音乐或者电影为主题
was not based around any sports, music, or movie-based theme--
告诉诺姆那些变动了吗 - 还没有
Have you spoken to Norm about the changes? - Not yet.
他会不高兴的
He's not gonna be happy.
但也没选择余地
I know but he's got no choice.
[ominous music plays *]
新的母公♥司♥怎么说 我们就得怎么做
Whatever the new parent company says, goes.
对提高洋葱新闻和环球金字塔协同效益的建议
嘿
Hey.
梅丽莎·切瑞制♥造♥了美国流行乐坛最大的轰动..
Melissa Cherry is America's biggest pop sensation.
在青少年歌♥迷军团中卖♥♥出数百万张唱片
Selling millions of records to her legions of teenage fans.
这位年轻的歌♥手是不是在散布错误讯息呢
But is this young singer sending the wrong message?
基普·肯戴尔报道
Kip Kendall reports.
她的新专辑 和我一起来
[pop music plays *] Her new album, "Come with Me",
获得了四白金的销量 也使她成为了家喻户晓的人物
has gone quadruple platinum and made her a household name.
* 宝贝 你的吻让我心跳漏了一拍 *
* Baby, when we kiss my heart just skips a beat *
* 牵着我的手让几乎失语 *
* And when you hold my hand oh, I can hardly speak *
* 噢 让我双膝跪地 *
* Oh, yeah, I'm down on my knees...
一些家长担心梅丽莎·切瑞的...形象和音乐过于性感
But some concerned parents think Melissa Cherry's image in music are too sexy,
会给他们的孩子树立一个不良榜样
setting an inappropriate example for their children.
你想对那些担心的家长说些什么
So, what do you say to all the concerned parents out there?
基普 老实说
Well, Kip.
我真的不知道有什么好大惊小怪的
I honestly don't understand what all the fuss is about.
我的音乐和性无关
My music isn't about sex.
而是关于作为女孩子
It's about being a girl.
要享受生活
And having fun.
但是梅丽莎 很明显 那首《让我双膝跪地》说的是口♥交♥ 不是吗
But clearly the song "Down on My Knees", Melissa, is about fellatio, isn't it?
恶心
Ew!
是关于...
It's about how like,
比如 你很迷恋一个男生...
when you have a big crush on a boy,
有时你会跪下来 祈求他们的爱
sometimes you get down on your knees and like, beg for their love.
* 噢 浓浓的爱意
[* Melissa Cherry: "Down on my Knees"]
我要表明 *
* Don't tell much stuff I need to show...
那你的第一首热门歌♥曲 《从后面上我》 又怎么说
What about your first big hit? "Take Me from Behind"?
从我后面来和性一点关系也没有
"Take Me from Behind" isn't sexual at all.
是关于爱情悄悄来临
It's about love's sneaking up on you, you know?
就像从身后来了
Like from the behind?
可以是男朋友的爱悄悄来临
You know, it could be a boyfriend's love sneaking up on you?
朋友的爱
Or a friend's?
甚至是耶稣基♥督♥的爱
Or even Jesus Christ's.
* 但真正的渴望是你
[* Melissa Cherry: "Take Me from Behind"]
从我后面来 *
* Take me from behind
[singing non-lexical vocables] * Oh, yeah
[singing non-lexical vocables] * Oh, yeah
[singing non-lexical vocables]
嗯 喔 噢 喔
* Mmm, oh, oh, oh
* 从正面爱抚
* Oh, when you love me [singing non-lexical vocables]
我也一点不介意 *
* You know that I don't mind * You know
* 但真正的渴望
* What I really want is for you *
是你从我后面来 *
* to take me from behind, Yeah..
我们再来谈谈《棒棒糖之爱》那首歌♥
Let's talk about the song, "Lollipop Love".
棒棒糖之爱说的是...那种柔情蜜意的爱...
"Lollipop Love" is a kind of love that is just really sweet
你只想去舔舐...
and you just kind wanna like, lick it, you know?
和吮吸
And suck it.
[* Melissa Cherry: "Lollipop Love"]
* 棒棒糖
* Lollipop
噢 是的 *
* Hey, yeah
* 棒棒糖 *
* Lollipop
0000,0000,0000,* 之爱 *,* 棒棒糖 *
* Love lolli-la!
* 宝贝让我爱*
* Love lolli-la! Hey, baby *
* 棒棒 棒棒糖 *
* Lolli-lolli-lolli-lolli pop, pop, oh *
* 噢 棒棒糖之爱 *
* Lollipop Love
就像一支棒棒糖
Like a lollipop! ["Lollipop Love" fades out]
能谈一谈那首《把爱射满我全身》吗
What about the song "Shoot Your Love All Over Me?"
那是关于被人倾心所爱...