毕业季（2022）

你为什么不进家打个招呼
Why didn't you just come in and say hi?
我不想突然惊你一下嘛 你懂的
You know, I didn't wanna overwhelm you, you know.
再说了 第二天有课 我不能晚回家
Plus, I can't stay out so late on a school night.
靠 该死
Shit. Shoot.
无语
Dang!
我也想跟你多聊几句 但我得回去上班了
I wish I could hang out and talk more, but I gotta get back to work.
是啊 我得回去上课了
- Yeah, I got to get back to class. - Yeah.
我可不想迟到20年零10分钟
I don't wanna be 20 years and ten minutes late.
那再见了 你知道去哪找我
So, I will see you around. You know where to find me.
没错 彼此彼此 你也知道去哪能找到我
Yeah, same. You know where to find me,
图书馆
in the library.
-有些事真的雷打不动 是吧 -再见 赛斯 我会打给你
-Some things never change, right? -Bye, Seth. I'll call you.
你还是用那玩意儿 做点加减乘除吧
Or you can do some long division, I guess.
芬儿 第一天怎么样
Steph, how's your first day?
我的天 太棒了
My God, it's just been, like, so amazing.
交交新朋友 同学们都被我迷得不要不要的
Like, just making new friends. Everyone's already obsessed with me.
太好啦
That's so great.
我们努力在这里 营造一个友好的环境
We strive for a welcoming environment here.
听着 我要跟你谈谈 重新加入母斗牛犬队的事
Um, listen, I need to talk to you about rejoining the Bulldogettes.
跟啦啦队相比 我觉得你更该把精力放在功课上
Um, instead of cheer, I think you should be focusing on your schoolwork.
是的 当然了
Yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure!
但重新入队的事 我该找谁说呢
Um, but who do I talk to about rejoining?
跟我 我现在是啦啦队教练
Well, you would talk to me. I'm the cheer coach now.
等等 我看穿你的小九九了哈
Okay. Wait, I see your game.
你当校长
You become principal
是为了能管理啦啦队 好掌握实权
so then you can get real power by running the cheer squad.
姐妹还得是你 我瑞斯拜
That's smart. I respect that.
没错 那不是 我拿教育硕士学位的原因
Yeah, that… that's not why I got my master's in education.
但是嘞 我其实觉得现在..
Um, look, I don't think the cheer squad
啦啦队不需要新成员
needs a new member right now.
不对 大错特错
Well, that's wrong 'cause
全国上下每一个啦啦队 为了争我恨不得打起来
every cheer squad in the country would love to have me.
只剩两场表演了 我觉得这样做不值得
There's only two performances left, so I don't think it's worth it.
玛莎 如果姐们儿我 还有拿下舞会皇后的机会
Marth, I only need one performance to make a splash
那我只用表演一次 就能直接精咽全场
if I have any chance of becoming prom queen.
-小芬… -姐这个头 依然要皇冠来衬
-Steph… -This head still needs a crown.
真的很抱歉啦 但是还是不行诶
I'm so sorry. It's not gonna get it.
小芬
Steph,
这所学校已经不评选舞会皇后了
we do not have prom queen at this school anymore.
我的天 你这是小中风了吗
My God, are you having a mini stroke?
你说啥
What?
这种比赛 真的很危险
Competitions like that, they're dangerous.
获胜并不代表本校的价值观
Winning things, it just… it doesn't reflect our school values.
没有赢家 就没有失败者
With no winners, there aren't any losers.
我建立了一个没有失败者的学校
I've made a school with no losers.
但大家都在跟我说 他们有多想要毕业舞会皇后
But everybody was just talking to me about how much they want prom queen.
好哦 小芬
Okay, Steph,
如果学生们都想恢复传统 他们知道可以上书请♥愿♥
if all the students want it back, they know they can petition for it.
但迄今为止 没有一个人这样做
But so far no one has.
就差一点 差那么一点
That was so close. You were so close.
-让我把它放进嘴里 -再来一个 准备好 一…
- Let me put it my mouth. - One more. Ready and one…
耶
Yay!
嘿 这是不是老鸨姐专座
Hey, is this where the ho-bags sit?
♪ Oh北鼻 骚话多说一点 想我就多睡我一点 ♪
♪ Ho-ing down with the ho-bags, yeah ♪
这是一种更有趣的打招呼方式啦
That's a fun way of saying "what's up?"
-我叫珍妮特 -我叫亚兹 他叫尼尔
-I'm Janet. -And I'm Yaz, and that's Neil.
我想说 我真的很爱你这一身古着
I just have to say I'm living for this little vintage fit.
骗人天打五雷轰 好啵
And I'm not even JK-ing. Okay?
好吧 午餐桌搞这么大干吗
Okay, what is with this enormous lunch table?
我们怎么知道受欢迎的学生坐在哪
How are we supposed to know where the popular kids sit?
如果只有一张桌子 我们都是受欢迎的学生
Well, when there's just one table, we're all popular kids.
-大家都是 -不 生活里可不是这样的
- Everybody. - No, no, no. That's not how life works.
要想当万人迷 只有三个办法
There's only, like, three ways to become popular,
入选啦啦队、在品牌服装店打工
to be a cheerleader, to work at Abercrombie,
或者给男孩子开你的后门
or to let guys go in the back door.
-啥东西 -那我肯定是个万人迷
- What? - My God, I must be really popular then.
你说啥?!
What?
-没什么 -别管啦 珍妮特…
-Nothing. -Anyways, um, Janet…
我想知道 你愿不意在我的请♥愿♥书上签名
…I was wondering if you would like to sign my petition.
我想让舞会皇后 回归哈丁高中
It's to bring back prom queen to Harding High.
-天哪 -不可能
- My gosh! - No way!
你要问我在现实生活中
Do I respect IRL grassroot
会不会尊重 草民对改变社会系统所作的努力
efforts to effect change into societal systems?
那必须支持
Yes.
同时非数字化的竞选策略 也令人耳目一新
It's also very refreshing to see non-digital campaign strategy.
没错 姐必签
Right, So I'll sign it.
我也会签 但如果只有我们俩 你也别太吃惊
I'll sign it too, but don't be surprised if we're the only ones.
为什么
Why's that?
因为只有布里·拉夫斯签了字 大家才会跟着签
Because nobody's gonna sign this unless Bri Luvs signs it.
-谁 -她
-Who? -Her.
布里·拉夫斯 那其实是她的网名
Bri Luvs. That's just her name on social media.
她在ins上大概有300万粉丝
She's got, like, three million Instagram followers.
那个体重88斤的性感男叫兰斯 是她的天菜男票
And that 98 pounds of sexy is Lance, her fine-ass boyfriend.
*双方坦诚相待 任一方都有在对方知情 并许可的前提下
与第三者发生亲密关系的自♥由♥
在去年 杂♥志♥《副》为他们的"开放式恋情" 做了一个VLOG
Last year, Vice did a whole vlog about their open relaish
并称之为“未来的黄金标杆”
and called it the gold standard of the future.
好得很 额 我怎么才能让她签名
Cool, cool, cool. So, um, how do I get her to sign it?
你做不到的
You won't.
她就像天上的仙儿 摸不着
She's untouchable.
好嘞 所有人跟她都是好朋友 但全都是泛泛之交
Okay, everyone's friends with her, but she's friends with no one.
-她要过来了 -不 她没有
-She's coming over here. -No, she's not.
自然点就好 避免眼神接触和…
Just act normal. Avoid eye contact and--
-亚兹 有段时间没见了 -好久不见
- Yaz! Been a minute? - It has been so long.
太久了 珍妮特
So long! And Janet,
我超爱你之前那篇 关于非主流身体自爱的帖子
loved your post about alternative body positivity the other day.
十分鼓舞人心
You are so inspiring.
我就是穿了个新泳衣 臭美一下啦
I was just showing off my new bathing suit.
嗨 我是布里 你肯定是萨勒芬妮吧
Hi, I'm Bri, and you must be Stephanie.
我听说过你呢
I heard about you.
真的吗
Really?
害 那个 我想说..
I mean, um…
那必须 当然了 姐原来红透半边天
Yeah, obviously, because I'm, like, the total shiznit,
姐之前在这上学那会儿 地位跟你现在差不多
and I basically used to be you when I went here.
咱都是学校里的万人迷 你懂的 因为我们都一样
You know, the most popular girl in school 'cause we're the same.
妹妹我不怎么在乎人气了啦
I don't really think about popularity.
我只是在展示真我 但是同时妹妹我还具备社会意识
I'm just trying to build my most authentic, socially conscious,
“身材积极”思想 践行环保理念
body-positive, environmentally aware,
并且还有一个价格亲民的品牌
and economically compassionate brand
“包容 时尚 美食 有趣的生活方式”这些特点
that's a home for inclusion, focused fashion, food,
在妹妹身上体现的淋漓尽致
and fun-filled lifestyles.
如果有人能跟我产生共鸣 那确实很不戳
And if tons of people respond to that, then, great.
蛮能装 噎丝..
Totally. Yes.
我是说 看得出来哈
I mean, obviously.
正好你在这里 能在这上面签个名不
Um, while I've got you here, would you mind signing this?
我要打断你一下
I'm gonna stop you right there.
我为了环保今年不用纸 所以我只接受电子表格
I made a paper-free pledge this year, so I only deal with forms digitally.
我相信你能理解 咱姐俩来自♥拍♥张合照吧
I'm sure you understand. But can we take an ussie?
当然可以
Yes. Absolutely.
去哪拍
Where to?
我们要去哪 我们要…
Where are we going? We're going-
-这是干嘛啊 - 抱歉哦
- Ooh. What? - Sorry.
-这啥玩意儿 -趁我还没忘
- What was that? - Before I forget.
我妈妈剔肤泥 让我替她给你问个好
My mom, Tiffany, told me to tell you she says hi.
她让我提醒你 她跟你前男友布莱恩结婚了
She said to remind you she's married to Blaine
还住在你的梦中情房♥里 免得你脑子不好使会忘记
and lives in your dream house, in case you couldn't place her.
你妈妈是剔肤泥
Your mom, Tiffany.
很高兴认识你 萨勒芬妮
Nice meeting you, Stephanie.
再见哦
Bye.
-再见 -再见
-Bye. -Bye.
宝 你这大鸟又在自♥由♥飞翔了
Baby, you're manspreading again.