毕业季（2022）

你觉得我能当上舞会皇后吗
Do you think I could even be prom queen?
-你确定那就是你的梦想嘛 -当然啦
-You sure that's what you want? -Duh.
嗯
Well,
这个目标如果能有人达成的话..
if anyone can make it happen,
那一定是你
it's you.
♪ Let's go♪
♪ Ten percent luck Twenty percent skill♪
♪ Fifteen percent concentrated Power of will ♪
♪ Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain♪
♪ And a hundred percent reason To remember the name♪
♪ This is ten percent luck Twenty percent skill♪
♪ Fifteen percent concentrated Power of will ♪
♪ Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain♪
（返回学校）
♪ And a hundred percent reason To remember the name♪
（当上啦啦队队长）
（交到朋友）
（人气火爆）
（赢得舞会皇后）
♪ Fort Minor, M-Shinoda ♪
♪ Styles of Beyond♪
-玛莎 -我的天
- Martha! - My God.
-你在这里 -小芬 你搞…
-There you are! -Steph! Wha…
-是的 -你来这干嘛啦
- Yeah. - What are you doing here?
这一看就是校长该开的那种高档车
This is exactly the type of car a principal would drive.
看来你真的已经是成功人士啦
It's like… like you nailed it.
我就是有事要你帮忙啦
I just need your help with something.
我想回学校
I want to go back to school.
芬妮 太好啦
Steph. That's wonderful.
当然可以
Yes, of course.
我可以给你一些课程信息 真的太棒啦
I can get you some info on those programs. There's a lot of great ones.
不是啦 玛莎 我是说...
No, Marth, I meant, like,
我 想回哈丁高中
me come back to school, to Harding High,
上完高四
and finish my senior year.
什么
What?
天啊
God.
不行吧…
No…
不行
No?
不是不行 是可能不行
Or not no, but maybe not?
芬妮 你知道不
Steph, hey, you know what?
相反…
Instead…
哇 现在有网上课程
Wow. There's online classes.
不然就是 不然 或者
Or… or… or… or…
社区大学还有高中同等学历课程
GED courses at the community college.
如果我继续被困在 原来的那种生活里20年
I cannot move on to the next chapter of my life
那我的生活永远都翻不了篇了
if I'm still stuck in the old one for 20 years.
我也理解 但是…
And I understand that, but…
小芬 我没法让一个快40岁的女人进高中
Steph… …I can't let an almost 40-year-old woman into high school.
没错 但你听到医生说的话了
Yeah, but you heard the doctor.
我心理年龄是17
I'm still 17 mentally.
-看… -这是…
-And look… -That's--
医学报告
…that is medical.
你可不能跟科学抬杠哈
And you cannot argue with science.
-你确定你准备好回去了吗 -是的
-Are you sure you're ready to go back? -Yes!
高中对我来说就像是昨天
High school was like yesterday for me.
我真的一点都不觉得奇怪
It will not be weird at all.
那你说我还能干嘛
What else am I supposed to do?
开个Onlyfans 开启网黄之路?
Start an OnlyFans account?
表演浦西吐气 一次20刀吗
Queef for 20 dollars?
啥玩意儿
What?
这...我以为现在的人 都这样玩儿
That's… I think that's what happens there.
你不是只有这两条选择 你有很多选择
Those aren't your only two options. You have lots of options.
听着 高中是一个 紧张但又微妙的生态系统
Look… …high school, it's an intense but delicate ecosystem.
是呀 但姐轻松拿捏
Yeah, which I can handle.
但你知道吗 这个学年只有一个月就结束了
But you know what? There's only a month of the school year left--
这不正正好
That's perfect!
我差不多 就是错过了这么长时间
That's basically the time that I missed!
-是的 -这就是命运
- Yeah. - That is, like, fate.
就像 SHE注定一起成团
Like, Destiny's Child.
那好哦
Well,
你可能是史上第一个
you might be the first person in history
凭医生证明入学的人
to use a doctor's note to get into school.
天啦噜 太好了
My God! Yes!
玛莎 我的天 你就是最好的姊妹
Martha! My God. You're the best. You're the best.
我担心死啦
I'm so worried.
♪ This time I'm gonna be Everything I want me to be♪
♪ So fresh, yeah, so free♪
♪ I'mma get what's coming to me♪
♪ No diamonds, no rubies ♪
♪ Gonna keep me down No, I gotta be ♪
♪ So damn high Yeah, you'll see♪
♪ I'mma be where I wanna be♪
♪ Hold on tight if you want to ride ♪
♪ I'mma reach new heights Yeah, let's paint the sky ♪
- ♪ I'm gonna be your♪ - ♪ Aeroplane ♪
骚凹瑞 我的宝
Sorry, babe.
我之前一直昏迷
I was in a coma.
♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ Give it to me♪
♪ I'm so addicted to the loving That you're feeding to me♪
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ Body's in withdrawal Every time you take it away…♪
康威小姐×3
Miss Conway! Miss Conway! Miss Conway!
嗨 雷猴啊
Hi! G'day, mate!
我想用你的母语打招呼 你是澳大利亚人 对吧
I wanted to say hi in your native tongue. 'Cause you're Australian, right?
-是的 -很好
- Yes. Yeah. - Good, good, good!
你的姊妹 也就是我的上司莱泽校长 让我带你四处转转
Your friend, my boss, Principal Riser, asked me to show you around
参观一下哈丁高中
and give you a little orientation here at Harding.
姐不需要哈 姐对这里很熟的很
Okay. I don't really need to. I know my way around.
来吧 很好玩的 反正我没别的事可做
Come on, it's fun. I have nothing else to do.
我是泰帕先生 是你们的辅♥导♥员
I'm Mr. Tapper, the guidance counselor,
但你可以叫我小T先生
but you can call me Mr. T.
是因为姐第一天来
Is that because you…
让你产生那种 "可怜二臂"的感受吗
…"pity the fool" who has a bad first day?
是的 我会感觉 我真觉得膈应死了
Well, yeah. Yeah, I would feel… I would feel terrible.
不 我说的是老友记里的“小T先生”啦
No. I meant, like, you know, Mr. T.
他的口头禅是“我好可怜二臂”
"I pity the fool. I pity the fool."
我从没这样说过 但如果你愿意 我可以现在开始说
I've never said that before, but I guess I could start if you wanted me to.
我同情二臂
I pity the fool!
小T先生我 老可怜你们这群二臂了
Mr. T is pitying fools over here.
好了哈 咱们 额 在这边浅转一下吧
All right, let's, um… let's… let's go on a little tour here.
我这里有你2002年的档案 你是啦啦队队员
I have your records here from 2002. You were a cheerleader.
-是队长 -是队长
-Cheer captain. -Ooh, cheer captain.
时尚俱乐部的主席
President of the Fashion Club.
哇 你的成绩很好哦
Whoa! Your grades were pretty good.
我的天 闭嘴 别说啦
My God, shut up. Don't.
我不想让别人觉得我是个书呆子
I don't want anybody here to think I'm a dork.
我只想说毕业应该不成问题
I'm saying graduating shouldn't be a problem.
等等 这怎么事儿
Wait. What happened?
那些舞会国王和皇后都去哪了
Where are all the prom king and queen winners?
莱泽校长认为它导向不好
Principal Riser felt that it sent a bad message,
所以换上了更积极的内容
so she replaced it with something more positive.
-这有点像是一堆卫生棉条堆起来的 -对 没错
-That looks like a bunch of tampons. -Yeah, it is.
但这也属于"现成艺术
But it's also found art.
所以他们就是"现成的卫生棉..
So you're saying they're found tampons.
是吧 可以这么理解
Yes, I am.
如果不是 那就把它当野史
If not, just pretend it's fake history.
哦 真抱歉
I am so sorry.
萨勒芬妮
Stephanie?
-天啊 -我是赛斯
- My God! - It… it's… it's Seth!
-赛斯 -是的
-Seth? -Yeah!
-赛斯 -我的天啊
- Seth! - My goodness!
哇哦
Wow!
玛莎说你醒了
Martha said that you were back,
但就是我脑子里 不敢相信这是真的
and I guess, in my head, I just couldn't make it real,
但是看看你 你好得很
but look at you. You look great!
真的是我 你看 能走路 能说话
It's me! Like, look, I'm walking and talking.
-完全正常了 -一切正常
-Yeah. Doing all those things. -Everything.
走路 说话方式 跟原来一点没变哦
Just like you used to, walk and talk.
看看你 天啊
Well, look at you! My God!
-你好酷 文雅又成熟 -是的
- You look so cool and suave and adult. - Yeah.
那个以前整天 泡图书馆的书呆子怎么逆袭啦
Wow! What happened to that nerd that used to just hang out in the library?
他逆袭成学校的图书馆管♥理♥员♥了
He became the school librarian.
真的吗
Seriously?
塞斯 谢谢你把毕业册送给我
Seth, thank you so much for the yearbook.