恋爱保质期（2019）

Cupcake.
蛋糕
Cake.
- 什么 - 什么
- What? - What?
今天不是你的生日
Today's not your birthday.
你的生日是7月11日
Your birthday is on July 11th.
那一天 玛丽·安托瓦内特说 让他们吃蛋糕吧
The day that Marie Antoinette said, "Let them eat cake."
你确实告诉过我 她从来没这么说过
You actually told me she never said that.
她没有 这不是重点
She didn't. That's not the point.
关键是 你的生日是一个月之后
The point is that your birthday is not for another month.
好吧 有什么大不了的 只有几个星期罢了 快点
Well, what's the big deal? It's only a few weeks. Come on!
斯科特·詹姆斯 我是你的老师
Scott James, I am your teacher!
但 我爱你
But hey, I love you.
不 斯科特·詹姆斯 别那么说
Oh, no! Scott James, don't say that.
但这是真的 我情难自已
But it's true! I can't help it.
你总是让我朝思暮想
I can't stop thinking about you!
- 但你必须停下来 - 我不能 海莉 这会让我心很痛
- But you have to stop. - I can't, Haley, it hurts!
这会伤了我的心 我的心 海莉 我只是
It hurts! It's my heart, Haley, I just...
我只是 我真的不知道该怎么办
I just... I don't know what to do!
我好痛苦
I am in so much pain.
我的天哪 你有喜欢的人了
My gosh! Oh, my gosh, you've got a crush.
这就是为什么他们这么叫它 它会把你搞垮
That's why they call it that. It crushes you.
我不能 我不能继续下去 我不能继续下去
I can't. I can't. I can't go on. I can't go on.
不 那没用的 它是电的
Oh, no. That's not gonna work. It's electric.
它根本就不管用
It doesn't even work.
别哭啊 斯科特·詹姆斯
Don't cry, Scott James.
那么 我们现在需要停下了
So, we have to stop now.
谢谢你 肯
Thank you, Ken.
我讨厌这样结束会议
Uh, I hate to end a session like that,
但还有很多需要思考的
but, a lot to think about.
- 全面思考
- Totally.
那么 让我看看下周的时间
So, let me look at some times for next week.
你知道吗 我可以给你发电子邮件吗
Uh, you know what? Can I e-mail you?
我有几个项目悬而未决
I have a couple projects up in the air.
- 我有个产品发布会 - 好的
- I have a product launch sometime. - Sure.
我喜欢你为男性时尚所做的事情
I love what you're doing for men's fashion.
我希望我能在这间屋子外面说点什么
I hope it's okay that I speak about something outside this room?
- 没关系 - 这很好
- It's all right. - It's fine.
并且 允许今天出现的灵感持续存在
And, allow the feelings that came up today to exist.
或者不存在 如果他们是这么告诉你的
Or not exist, if that's what they're telling you
你可以腾出地方来
You can make space for that.
- 当然 - 好吧
- Sure. - Okay, then.
- 太棒了 - 好极了
- Bingo. - Bingo.
- 同路 还是不同路 - 同路
- Same route, or different? - Same.
我要去做颈部按♥摩♥
I'm going to get some neck massage.
- 脚也要按♥摩♥ - 该你了
- Feet too. - You're on.
等等 别...好吧
Just wait. Don't... Okay.
- 你在作弊 - 我赢了
- You're cheating. - I'm winning.
不 他妈的
No. Oh, shit!
- 红灯 - 你喜欢我吗
- Oh, red light. - Hey, you, like me?
同性恋
Fags!
- 是的 - 对 我们是
- Yeah. - Yeah, we are.
滚开
Fuck off!
你知道吗 这已经是我们第五次这样了
You know, that's like the fifth time we've had that?
我可以做点别的 我们可以出去
I can make something else, we can go out...
不 你在开玩笑 我很爱这样的生活
No, no, no, no, no, are you kidding me? I love it.
除此之外 我习惯了每天在我住的地方吃同样的东西
Besides, I'm used to eating the same thing every day where I live.
并且不上锁
And no lockouts.
你是...
You are...
- 你是最棒的 - 我当然知道
- You are the best. - I know.
我也是最棒的
I am the best.
不过 我的嘴里还是有点怪怪的
My mouth still does feel a little weird, though.
真的吗
Really?
我想你应该已经对它建立了一定的耐受了
Think you would have built up some tolerance to that already.
你去哪 亨利先生
Where are you going, Mr. Henry?
得了吧 我们连一部电影都看不完吗
Come on, we can't even get through one movie?
我只是说说
I'm just saying.
停 亨利 停下
Stop, stop, stop. Henry, stop.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
天哪 天哪
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
它尝起来就像电池一样
It tastes like I licked a battery. Oh, my God.
我的阴♥道♥着火了
Oh, my vagina is on fire!
天哪 这好恶心
Oh, my God! This is disgusting.
好吧 你知道吗 你没必要去当一个混♥蛋♥
Okay, you know what? You don't have to be a dick.
是的 我没让你搞砸我整个神经系统
Yeah, well, I didn't ask you to fuck up my whole neurological system.
不是你的整个系统 只是你的味蕾
It's not your whole system. It's just your taste buds.
是啊 我的味蕾
Yeah, my taste buds,
正在做我在这个世界上最喜欢的事情
which are making my favorite thing in the world
尝起来像一袋旧硬币
taste like a bag of old pennies.
滚
Get out.
- 什么 - 快滚
- What? - Get out.
我算是知道为什么你前女友和你分手了
I can see why your ex-girlfriend broke up with you.
我也明白你为什么无家可归了
I can see why you're homeless.
你就是个混♥蛋♥
You are just an asshole.
- 我很抱歉 - 我是说 我为你做饭
- I'm sorry. - I mean, I cook for you,
我对你那么好 我让你和我同居 不给家里上锁
I am nice to you, I let you live with me, no lockouts!
我知道 我都知道
I know, I know, I know, I know.
我真的 真的很抱歉 这只是
I'm really, really sorry. It's just...
我真的被这些胡椒搞疯了
I'm really fucked up from these peppers.
不 你只是搞砸了一段时间罢了
No. You're just fucked up, period.
你无家可归
You're homeless.
哪个36岁的人连睡觉的沙发都没有
What 36-year-old doesn't even have a couch to sleep on?
我告诉过你为什么了
I told you why.
哪个有自尊的人会和一个无家可归的人睡在一起
And what self-respecting human being sleeps with a homeless person?
我的意思是 没错 你告诉我了 但我就必须接受吗
I mean, like, yeah, you told me, and I just accepted it?
你得走了
You have to go.
- 什么 现在吗 - 没错 就是现在
- What, now? - Yes, now.
但 下午2点以后我不能回收♥容♥所♥了
But, I can't check back into the shelter after 2 p.m.
跟我有什么关系
That is not my problem right now, okay?
卡米 听着 请坐
Cammy, look, look, sit down, please.
坐下吧 我真的非常抱歉
Sit down. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry.
我是说 我没有别的地方可去了
I mean, I am... I don't have anywhere else to go.
我该去哪儿
Where am I supposed to go?
我很抱歉 拜托
I'm so sorry. Please.
好吧 你今晚可以留下来
Fine. Fine. You can stay tonight.
谢谢你 谢谢你
Thank you. Thank you.
- 我很抱歉 - 接着扇风
- I'm sorry. - Don't stop fanning.
好的
Okay.
- 势均力敌 - 没有
- Close race. - Not even.
谢谢
Thanks.
我对这一切都感到抱歉
Sorry about all that.
还好吗
Okay?
我不是那个意思
I don't mean whatever.
我是说 我也很遗憾
I mean, I'm sorry too.
这整件事让人很沮丧
It's just frustrating, this whole couples thing.
我觉得这会把我们的距离拉得更远
I feel like it's pulling us further apart,
而不是把我们拉近
than bringing us close together.
是的 我也是这么想的
Yes, that's what hit me too.
我们就不能把钱花在每周的约会上吗
Can't we just spend the money on dates each week instead?
当然可以
We could.
- 妈的 这么多钱 - 是的
- Fuck, it's so much money. - Yeah, it is.
没错
Yeah.
不过 约会从来都不是我们的问题
Dates were never really our problem, though.
只是...
It's just...
我不知道 我不知道
I don't know. I don't know.
就这些吗
Is that all there is?
我只希望我们能回到过去
I just wish we could go back to the way things were.
更简单
Simpler.
是吗
Was it?
你知道我是什么意思
You know what I mean.
你想把它关掉吗
You want to turn that off?
是的 让我先检查一下没有着火