恋爱保质期（2019）

Make sure you get the logo on the...
- 我明白 - 好的
- I got it. - Okay.
你在做什么 别摆出那副表情
What are you doing? Don't make that face.
尽量看起来正常点 好吗
Just look normal, okay?
这就是正常表情
This is normal.
- 别吃我的黑莓 - 太迟了
- Don't eat my blackberry. - It's too late.
这样够正常了吗
This normal enough?
你叫他滚出去 对吗
You told him get out, right?
- 嗯 我... - 你没有和他做♥爱♥吗
- Well, I... - You did not have sex with him.
- 好吧 我们已经走到那一步了 - 卡米
- Well, he was already there. - Cammy!
我已经跟他睡过了
And I already slept with him!
这些的前提是我以为他有住处
With the presumption that he had shelter!
你知道 也许应该有一个应用软件来做这个
You know, there should probably be an app for that.
- 我以为是假的 - 天哪
- I think it's just assumed. - Oh, my God!
你和一个无家可归的人苟合
You slept with a homeless.
是一个人 亲爱的
Person, sweetie.
我和一个无家可归的人做♥爱♥ 行了吧
I slept with a homeless person, okay?
- 无家可归不是名词 - 一个人 当然
- Homeless is not a noun. - A person, of course.
你太善良了 卡姆
Wow, you are so kind, Cam.
这些天我真的饥不择食
I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days.
不 这很好 你帮助了有需要的人
No, it's good. You gave to someone in need.
天哪 这太烫了
Oh, my God, this is so hot!
他们是把这个放在太阳上烤了吗
Did they heat this on the sun?
- 我很抱歉 这是我的错 - 这太烫了
- I'm sorry, that was my fault. - It is so hot!
我告诉他们Caldo 在意大利语中是烫的意思
I told them, "Caldo," which is Italian for hot.
- 那么 你还会再见他吗 - 不 当然不会了
- So, you're gonna see him again? - No! Of course not.
- 好吧 我不知道 -我还是有点自尊的 宝贝
- Okay, I didn't know! - I have a little self-respect, sweetie.
- 那就行 - 我又做了一次 行了吧
- All right. - I did it again, okay?
我选了另一个失败者
I picked another loser.
我很抱歉 但是 哪个白人会三十六岁了还无家可归呢
I'm sorry, but like, what white guy is homeless at 36?
- 我肯定有很多这样的人 - 在探探上
- I'm sure there are a lot. - On Tinder?
是的 这是一个有趣的转折
Yes, that is an interesting twist.
天哪 他是如此的好 如此的贴心
God, he was just so nice, he was just so sweet.
我真希望这事能成 你明白吗
I was really hoping this would work out, you know?
他怎么会无家可归呢 变得无家可归 变成无家可归的人
How did he get homeless? Get homeless? Become homeless?
等等 什么才是正确的表达
Wait, what's the right phrase?
是变成 你怎么会不知道这个呢
It's "become." How do you not know that?
变成无家可归的人
Become homeless.
他前女友以前承担了一切花销 他和她住在一起
Well, his ex-girlfriend used to pay for everything and he was staying with her,
然后他们分手了 所以他不得不离开
and they broke up, so he had to leave.
他只能在他朋友家当沙发客
And he just stayed on friends' couches
直到那儿拥挤得站不住脚
until that became untenable.
然后他就把他自己送进了收♥容♥所♥
And then he just checked himself into a shelter?
这中间缺少了一些经历
There are few steps that are missing.
我觉得不是从沙发客直接到了收♥容♥所♥
I feel like you don't just go from a couch to a shelter.
你们说得都对 海莉 我知道 但他就是这么和我说的 好吗
Yeah, okay! Haley, I get it, but that's what he told me, okay?
我认为这其中的危险信♥号♥♥是他女朋友一直养着他
I think the red flag was him being supported by the girlfriend.
有很多危险信♥号♥♥ 到处都是危险信♥号♥♥
There are a lot of red flags. Red flags everywhere.
我分辨不出 不管怎样 你还好吗
I'm color blind. Anyways, how are you?
我很好 我是说 我有栖身之处了
I'm good. I mean, I've got a roof over my head.
- 这么快 - 是的 婊♥子♥ 这太快了
- Too soon? - Yes, bitch. That is too soon.
我不知道 你觉得现在怎么样
I don't know. What do you think so far?
- 在我看来还不错 - 真的吗
- Looks good to me. - Yeah?
拉维拉想在周五前要
Ravella wants it by Friday.
那就告诉她自己画完
Then tell her to paint it her fucking self.
说真的 这似乎并不难
And seriously, it doesn't seem that hard.
这个要多少钱一个
How much does one of these go for?
我不知道 大概一百
I don't know, like a hundred.
- 一千 - 是的
- Thousand? - Yeah.
我的天啊
Holy shit!
你为什么不直接画一张
Why don't you just paint one and keep it for yourself
留着自己卖♥♥呢
and then you sell it?
好吧 因为 那就是我的成果 而不是拉维拉的
Well, because, then it would be by me, not by Ravella.
- 是的 但是 他们都是你画的 - 对外不是这么说的
- Yeah, but, they're all by you. - Unofficially.
乱七八糟的 这太混乱了
So fucked up. It's so fucked up.
那些买♥♥了这些东西的可怜家伙 他们知道
These poor bastards who buy this shit. Do they understand
实际上并不是拉维拉·布鲁尔为他们画价值10万美元的画吗
that Ravella Brewer is not actually painting their $100,000 treasure?
不知道 但拉维拉不是第一个这样做的
Well, no, but Ravella is not the first to do this.
伦勃朗 马蒂斯
Rembrandt, Matisse.
我想也是 只是她赚了很多的钱而已
I guess, but it's just that she makes a ton of dough
而你 你只能勉强维持生计
and you, you barely make a living wage.
是啊 这就是事实真♥相♥
Yeah, well, it is what it is.
好吧 如果你和马克林能结婚的话
Well, if you and Marklin would just get married.
我不会拿他的钱的 伊丽莎白
Mm, I'm not taking his money, Elizabeth.
当你们结婚后就不叫拿钱了 那是共同财产
It's not taking money when you're married, it's called sharing.
这就是婚姻 我是说 为什么你这么抵触它呢
That is marriage. I mean, why are you so against it?
我已经为了你的权利光着屁♥股♥游♥行♥任人羞辱过了
I marched my ass in the snow for your rights.
我不知道 那些关于同志婚姻的事
I don't know, the thing about gay marriage...
不 别这么说
No, no, no, no. Don't say it.
- 这太娘了 - 这一点都不好笑 你在转移话题
- It's so gay. - It's not funny. You're deflecting.
它甚至不值得考虑
It's not even on the table.
因为你总是直言不讳地说你不想做这件事
It's because you're so vocal about how you don't want to do it.
那又怎样 最后像海莉一样 不 谢谢
And what? And end up like Haley? No, thank you.
不是每个人都会在结婚一年后离婚
Not everyone gets divorced after a year.
是的 有些人坚持了五年 比如我的父母
Yeah, some people last five, like my parents.
戴蒙和我见面第一周就订婚了
Damon and I got engaged the first week we met.
看看我们 十五年后依然在一起
And look at us, still together 15 years later.
快来 看 他把戒指放在了面包圈里
Come on, look at it. He put the ring in a bagel.
- 没错 - 不愧是法国人
- Yes. - French!
你疯了
You are insane.
听着 我喜欢做同志
Look, I love being gay.
你知道的 这可能是我最喜欢自己的一点
You know that. It's probably like my favorite thing about myself.
我喜欢你是个同志
I love that you're gay.
但 我不明白 婚姻并不能如魔法般的化解
But, I don't know. Marriage doesn't magically solve...
两个人在一起是很棘手的这件事情
Two men together is tricky.
好吧 那就别结婚了 只分享他的钱
Okay, then don't get married. Just share his money
就像戴蒙和我做的 来吧 我会比他做得更好
like Damon and I do. Come on, I do better than him,
但没关系 看在上帝的份上 你们是伙伴关系
but it's doesn't matter. You're in a partnership, for God's sake!
我们不说这个了
Ba-ba-bup-bup. Let's drop it.
可以吗 我必须在周五之前完成这个
Okay? I got to finish this by Friday.
斑点
Blobs.
这太简单了
It's so simple!
说真的 我能做的
Seriously, I could do that.
你知道 要比这复杂一点
You know, it's a little more complicated than that.
- 好吧 - 试一试
- Well... - Give it a try.
- 真的吗 - 当然
- Really? - Yeah.
我的意思是 只要她签了字 就是拉维拉·布鲁尔的真迹
I mean, as long as she signs it, it's a Ravella Brewer.
只要别太疯狂
Just don't go nuts.
别发疯啊
Don't go nuts.
- 好的 不会太疯狂的 - 那就好
- Okay, no crazy. - Oh, yeah.
- 太疯狂了 - 我了解你
- Crazy. - I know you.
我从哪儿开始
Where shall I begin?
也许这里
Maybe over here.
感觉很棒 对吗
Feels good, right?
如果能拿到十万块钱的工资 我会感觉好很多
Ah, I'd feel a lot better if I was getting paid a hundred grand.
我的泥浆没了
I'm out of mud.
- 让我帮你 - 不好意思 打扰一下
- Let me? - Excuse me.
该死 那真好
Damn, that's good.
甚至不需要打磨
Don't even need to sand.
来为我工作吧
Work for me?
那将是一个有趣的人生转折点
That would be a fun life pivot.
- 这个房♥间会是什么 - 伊丽莎白的办公室
- What's this gonna be again? - An office for Elizabeth.
我已经放弃把它变成托儿所了
I've given up on trying to make it a nursery.
好吧
Oh, well.
抱歉
Sorry.
你有点错失良机了
You kind of missed the boat on that one.
不过 这会很好的
This will be nice, though.
伊丽莎白觉得她讨厌小朋友
Elizabeth thinks she hates kids.
她确实讨厌孩子
Um, she does hate kids.
我一直在想我可以说服她的 你明白吗
I kept thinking I could convince her, you know?
应该把她的避孕药换成滴答糖