冒牌人生（2005）

- 我这么丑吗？- 抱歉？
-Am I so ugly? -I'm sorry?
我这么丑，你甚至不愿意试着亲吻
Am I so ugly you wouldn't try to kiss me?
我还没了解你到那种程度，汤姆.
I don't know you well enough for that, Tom.
再见.
Goodbye.
45-31-22-45.
45-31-22-45.
等等，等等！什么？什么？
Wait, wait! What? What?
我在巴黎的电♥话♥号♥码.
My number in Paris.
我只想说
All I'm saying is
-如果我订购900件——-48.50英镑.
-if I'm ordering 900 units-- -�48.50.
-多少？-48.50英镑.
-How much? -�48.50.
哦，等等.
Oh, hold on.
尼尔·默奇森.
Neil Murchison.
你是帕克小姐，杰夫·康斯坦特的助手.
And you are Ms. Parker, Jeff Constant's assistant.
我非常清楚地记得你，默奇森先生.
I remember you very well, Mr. Murchison, sir.
-很高兴再次见到你. -我的荣幸.
-So nice to see you again. -The pleasure is all mine.
在这个特别的日子里来到这里
And what a pleasure to be here on this special day.
-请. -谢谢.
-Please. -Thank you.
你好，亲爱的. 你好吗？
Hello, my darling. How are you?
非常感谢你--哦，蜿蜒的女士.
Thanks so much for-- Oh, serpentine lady.
克莱尔，对吧？谢谢你的到来.
Claire, isn't it? Thank you for coming.
康斯坦特先生.
Mr. Constant.
-看谁来了. -祝贺你，先生.
-Look who's here. -Congratulations, sir.
我们和你一样高兴.
We're as delighted as you are.
但当然，我告诉过你什么？
But of course, what did I tell you?
我告诉过你什么？
What did you tell me?
德瓦特会成功.
That Derwatt would be a success.
尼尔·默奇森，记得吗？
Neil Murchison, remember?
是的，是的. 当然，默奇森先生
Yes, yes. Of course, Mr. Murchison
来自，呃，爱荷华州. -接近.
-from, uh, Iowa. -Close.
-俄亥俄州，实际上. -俄亥俄州. 俄亥俄州.
-Ohio, actually. -Ohio. Ohio.
代顿现代艺术博物馆.
Dayton Museum of Contemporary Art.
或者我们喜欢称之为中西部的毕尔巴鄂.
Or as we like to call it, the Bilbao of the mid-West.
-对. 你是策展人. -不，不，不.
-Yes. You're the curator. -No, no, no.
我纯粹是个业余爱好者
I'm strictly an amateur
写支票和筹款.
writing checks and raising money.
但我知道我喜欢什么，我想提醒你，
But I know what I like and I want to remind you,
代顿当代艺术博物馆开始收藏德瓦特
that the Dayton Contemporary start collecting Derwatt
早在泰特两年前.
full two years before the Tate.
那么，我应该祝贺你，先生.
Well, then, I should congratulate you, sir.
你们的人得了个便宜.
Your people got a bargain.
哦，这不是钱的问题.
Oh, it's not a question of money.
我们认为德瓦特是一位重要的艺术家.
We regard Derwatt as a significant artist.
他的作品代表了绘画的一个重要回归
His work represents an important return to painting
我们很喜欢.
and we enjoy it.
我和我的默奇森夫人.
Myself and Mrs. Murchison.
我们坐下来看他的画作好几个小时，
We sit and look at his paintings for hours,
直到颜料开始说话.
until the pigment starts to speak.
我们与颜料的关系非常强烈.
Our relationship to paint is very intense.
是的，我能想象.
Yes, I can imagine it is.
我的意思是，呃，市场已经变了
All I meant was, that the, uh, market has changed
自从你买♥♥了.
since you bought.
价格已经大幅上涨.
The prices have gone up considerably.
我也看报纸，康斯坦特先生.
I read the papers, too, Mr. Constant.
那就是为什么，我写了这张支票，
That's why, I wrote this check,
甚至没有试图讨价还价，
without even trying to haggle,
尽管我讨厌为任何东西付全价.
as much as I hate to pay full freight for anything.
哦，但这一个已经卖♥♥出去了.
Oh, but this one's sold.
你在开玩笑.
You're kidding.
不，不. 我正要把它标上红点.
No, no. I was just going to put the red dot on.
卖♥♥给泰特的一位买♥♥家.
To one of the buyers from the Tate.
一定还有别的什么！
There must be something else!
对不起. 我们已经卖♥♥完了.
I'm sorry. We're sold out.
- 卖♥♥完了？- 嗯哼.
-Sold out? -Mm-hmm.
- 你知道我要来.
-You knew I was coming.
我飞了4000英里来看这个展览，
I flew 4,000 miles for this show,
终于见到德瓦特先生
to finally meet Mr. Derwatt
并买♥♥几幅画.
and to buy a couple of paintings.
非常抱歉，但我无能为力.
I'm terribly sorry, but there's nothing I can do.
哦，我明白了.
Oh, I see.
你在保留一些东西，等待价格上涨.
You're holding something back, waiting for the prices to go up.
相信我，如果我有什么，
Believe me, if I had anything,
我会很乐意以这些价格出♥售♥.
I would love to sell it at these prices.
好的. 你为什么不拿这张支票
Good. Why don't you take this check
作为他下一件作品的交换？
in exchange for his next piece of work?
- 哦，不，我不可能这么做. - 那有什么问题？
-Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. -Well, what's the problem?
不像德瓦特会停止绘画.
It's not like Derwatt is going to stop painting.
当然不会.
No, of course not.
那为什么你不接受我的支票？
Well why won't you accept my check?
我是他的第一个收藏家.
I am his first collector.
是的，当然是.
Yes, of course you are.
好的.
Good.
那么，下一个德瓦特就是你的.
So, then, the next Derwatt is yours.
哦，是的.
Oh, yes.
谢谢你.
Thank you.
现在，如果你原谅我.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
汤姆！
Tom!
- 抱歉让你久等了. - 没关系.
-Sorry to keep you waiting. -No problem.
超卖♥♥. 一天的变化真大.
Oversold. What a difference a day makes.
而这是为一幅德瓦特的画，
And this is for a Derwatt painting,
那甚至不存在.
that doesn't even exist.
我们大赚一笔，对吧？
Make a killing, then, did we?
很多利润要分？
Lots of profits to divvy up?
不.
No.
我卖♥♥得足够多，几乎还清了我的债务，
I sold enough to nearly pay off my debts,
什么透♥支♥，税费...
what with the overdraft, the taxes...
哦，所以德瓦特得到了他的名声
Oh, so Derwatt gets his fame
但你得到了他的财富？
but you get his fortune?
你打算坑他，杰弗里.
You are going to screw him, Jeffrey.
你们两个别吵了，拜托？
Will you two stop bickering, please?
我们需要开始处理正事，杰夫.
We need to get down to business, Jeff.
这个可怜的家伙需要一个合适的葬礼.
The poor bugger needs a proper burial.
当然，是的.
Absolutely, yes.
汤姆，这是你的想法. 你在想什么？
Tom, this was your idea. What were you thinking?
不，不，你和他的商业伙伴.
No, no, you're his business partner.
我以为你愿意处理.
I thought you'd like to take care of it.
这些是什么，杰夫？
What are these, Jeff?
我杰出的合伙人未完成的作品.
My brilliant partner's unfinished works.
本可以价值连城.
Could've been worth a mint.
天哪. 我可以把这个拿到楼下去.
Christ. I could drop this one downstairs.
在我看来它已经完成了.
It looks complete to me.
- 是的. - 哦，天哪，杰夫，它确实.
-Yeah. -Oh, God, Jeff, it does.
拿去楼下，再盖住一些开销.
Run it down and cover some more expenses.
不！它显然还没完成.
No! It's clearly not finished.
你怎么能这么说？
How can you say that?
这是艺术. 谁能说什么是完成的
It's art. Who's to say what's finished
和什么不是？- 德瓦特总是在最后
-and what's not? -Derwatt always added a grid
给画作加上某种网格.
of some sort to the painting at the end.
现在你只是在争论.
Now you're just being argumentative.
不，我给你看.
No, I'll show you.
看...
Look...
如果我们从一些德瓦特风格的图像开始，比如说，
if we start with some Derwattish style images, say,
一个裸体，
a nude,
或者，嗯，或者一个疤痕，
or, um, or a scar,
一只鸟，什么都可以.
a bird, whatever.
德瓦特很容易模仿.
Derwatt's easy to imitate.
他的技术很基础.
His technique with rudimentary.
是他的胆量让他成为了明星.
It was his balls that made him a star.
现在，很多画家都从这个开始
Now, a lot of painters start with one
但他总是以某种网格结束.
but he always finished with a grid of some sort.
那才是德瓦特.
That's a Derwatt.