冒牌人生（2005）

我在这里告诉你们
And I'm here to tell you
赤褐湖管的价格现在很惊人，
that the price of a tube of Crimson Lake is shocking,
现在.
nowadays.
我需要卖♥♥很多画
And I need to sell a lot of these pictures
来养活我的习惯.
to feed my habits.
这就是它对我的意义.
That's what it means to me.
我已经尽了我的一份力，现在我要离开一下.
I've done my bit, now get me out of here.
看，那真是一场精彩的表演.
See, now that was a hell of a performance.
我很高兴他要出名了.
I am so glad he's going to be famous.
他非常渴望成为一名明星.
He wants so badly to be a star.
汤姆，老实说，谁会买♥♥这些？
Tom, honestly, who'd buy one of these?
我的意思是，你怎么可能和它一起生活？
I mean, how could you possibly live with it?
我不知道.
I don't know.
谢天谢地我终于不再迷恋他了.
Thank God I'm over him at last.
你什么意思？他爱你.
What do you mean? He loves you.
你知道他对你很忠诚的
He's devoted to you, you know.
他不是忠诚，汤姆. 他是着迷.
He's not devoted, Tom. He's obsessed.
这两者是有区别的.
There's a difference.
真的，我喘不过气来.
Really, I can't breathe.
一旦你超越了性和英雄崇拜
Once you get past the sex and the hero worship
你剩下的就是一个非常可怕的个体.
all you're left with is one bloody scary individual.
猜猜他昨晚想让我在床上做什么？
Guess what he wanted me to do in bed last night?
他想让我再次掐他.
He wanted me to choke him again.
这次，他想让我带他走向死亡边缘，
This time, he wanted me to take him over the edge,
以至于他在高♥潮♥时晕过去了.
so that he passed out when he came.
我的意思是，这是不是病态？
I mean, is that sick or what?
你做了吗？
Did you do it?
我愿意尝试任何事.
I'll try anything once.
...在这些地方，遇见这些自命不凡的人...
...places, meeting these pretentious people...
5万英镑，杰夫？
50,000 quid, Jeff?
你知道吗，
Do you know,
我无法决定哪一点更让你嫉妒，伯恩.
I can't decide which makes you the more jealous, Bern.
是德瓦特的艺术生涯超越了你的，
That Derwatt's artistic career has eclipsed yours,
还是他正在和我们放荡的小辛西娅上♥床♥.
or that he's screwing our slutty little Cynthia.
那不是什么好方式来谈论前女友.
That's not a nice way to speak about an ex-girlfriend.
放弃她，伯纳德.
Give her up, Bernard.
辛西娅的生活就像一场大型狩猎.
Cynthia's life is just like one big safari.
她总是在寻找最好的猎物.
She's always looking for the best game to bag.
德瓦特只是今天的猎物.
Derwatt's just the prey du jour.
是啊，那她为什么要花这么多时间和汤姆在一起？
Yeah, well, why is she spending so much time with Tom then?
你知道吗，我不知道.
Do you know, I don't know.
她远在他的联盟之外. 他是个无名小卒.
She's way out his league. He's a nobody.
我从未被美国无名小卒迷住过.
I've never been charmed by American nobodies.
你永远不知道他们去过哪里.
One never knows where they've been.
但我知道我不再迷恋他了.
But I know I'm over him.
- 我认出那些迹象了. - 什么迹象？
-I recognize the signs. -What signs?
嗯，我和别人上♥床♥了，这是其中一件.
Well, I slept with someone else for one thing.
- 你知道，就是那个制♥作♥
-You know, the guy that makes
那些大型铁雕塑的家伙.
those big iron sculptures.
总之，这是一个迹象.
Anyway, it's a sign.
- 你必须承认. - 嗯哼. 真的.
-You have to admit. -Mm-hm. True.
意外时常发生.
Accidents happen.
物理，对吧？
Physics, huh?
其实是哲学.
It's philosophy, actually.
我快完成我的硕士学位了.
I'm finishing my Masters.
你知道，它证明了没有绝对的真理.
You know, it proves there is no absolute truth.
一切都是相对于你在宇宙中的位置
Everything is relative to your position
对吧？
in the universe, right?
Exactement.
确实如此.
你知道，我们都要去庆祝
You know, we're all going to go celebrate
如果你想加入我们.
if you'd like to join us.
我很愿意，但不幸的是我的朋友说了算.
I'd love to, but unfortunately my friend made plans.
对不起.
Sorry.
很抱歉你和他在一起.
I'm sorry you're with him.
他认为你在抢劫我，你知道吗.
He did think you were robbing me, you know.
不，我认为他觉得我在抢劫他.
No, I think he thought I was robbing him.
- 好吧，也许他是对的. - 也许是从他的角度.
-Well, maybe he was right. -Maybe from his position.
不是我的.
Not mine.
那你的呢？
What about yours?
我的角度是以不变应万变，
My position is known to change,
但此时此刻，我和他在一起.
but at this moment, I'm with him.
那么什么会改变呢？
So what would alter that?
我可能会在两分钟内改变主意
I'd say I might change my mind
如果他不出现的话.
in two minutes if he doesn't appear.
让我们给他五分钟时间，公平起见.
Let's give him five just to be fair.
妈的.
Fuck.
妈的.
Fuck.
喂！
Hello!
喂！
Hello!
喂！
Hello!
喂！
Hello!
为德瓦特干杯！
To Derwatt!
呜呼！
Whoo!
索朗热... 过来.
Solange... come here.
现在，你们都知道，
Now as you all know,
我只是一个绝望的疯狂的艺术家.
that I'm just another desperate artist slash madman.
充满了风和炒作以及对名声的渴望.
full of wind and hype and rage for fame.
哦，但今晚，我想说一些简单的话，
Oh, but tonight, I want to say something simple,
我想对我的至爱辛西娅说.
and I want to say it to my great love, Cynthia.
你是我梦中的情人.
You are the mistress of my dreams.
亲爱的.
Sweet.
你是我灵魂缺失的另一半.
You're the missing half of my soul.
我请求你 - 不，我恳求...
I ask you-- no, I beg...
用我身体里的每一个细胞，我想让你嫁给我.
with every cell in my body, I want you to marry me.
成为我永远的妻子，生我的孩子.
Be my wife forever and a day, and the mother of my children.
对不起. 非常抱歉.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
看看这个，
Look at this,
我敢打赌那个傻瓜把他所有的预付款都浪费在这上面了.
I bet that fool wasted his whole advance on this.
他总是让人惊讶，对吧？
He never fails to surprise, right?
你打算怎么做？
What are you going to do?
在那婊♥子♥破坏之前，
I'm going to protect my investment
我得保护自己的投资.
before that bitch destroys it.
来吧.
Come on.
天哪，婚姻.
Christ, marriage.
我的意思是，那从哪里来？
I mean, where did that come from?
- 哦，天哪. - 快点，快点.
-Oh, God. -Come on, hurry up.
大家，快点！
Everybody, quick!
你这次真的超越了自己.
You certainly topped yourself this time.
我该做什么，杰弗里？
What was I supposed to do, Jeffrey?
看，我不会为此自责的.
Look, I'm not going to beat myself up over this.
好的，那么让我来.
Good, then let me.
哦，天哪.
Oh, God.
哦，我的天.
Oh, my God.
哦，我的天.
Oh, my God.
哦，该死.
Oh, my God.
哦，该死.
Oh, s-- shit.
- 德瓦特？- 不，退后.
-Derwatt? -No, stay back.
- 德瓦特？- 退后.
-Derwatt? -Stay back.
德瓦特！
Derwatt!
德瓦特！你能听到我说话吗？
Derwatt! Can you hear me?
德瓦特！德瓦特！
Derwatt! Derwatt!
德瓦特！为什么！
Derwatt! Why!
快点！快点！
Come on! Come on!
快点！
Come on!
汤姆？
Tom?
- 没事，没事.
-It's okay, it's okay.
没事. 这不是你的错.
It's okay. It's not your fault.
当然是我的错. 你这个变♥态♥.
Damn right it wasn't my fault. You sick fuck.
他是个美丽的变♥态♥.
He was a beautiful, sick fuck.
哦.
Oh.