溜冰场

"Cosmo, I'm gonna be the best roller
中西部最佳溜冰运动员 我保证
skater in the Midwest. I guarantee it."
这孩子不需要比赛来证明自己
Well, the kid doesn't need a competition to prove he's great.
嘿
Hey.
注意动作
Watch your posture.
进来吧
Come in.
这些文件你还要的吧
You still need those files right?
拿来吧
Bring 'em on in.
好的
Ok.
你们白人好无聊
You white people are so boring.
好吧
Alright, fine.
我上了一个约会网站 看 超有意思
I joined one of those dating sites. There. Isn't that exciting.
哪个
Which one?
基♥督♥徒约会网 还是黑人交♥友♥网♥
Christian Mingle? Black People Meet?
不 都不是
No, no.
是手♥机♥上的
Um, it's one of the ones on my phone.
探探吗
Tinder!
就是这个
That's the one.
所以你整个周末就在上面滑来滑去
So you been swipin' this weekend.
就是这样
Apparently too much so.
有配对上吗
You got a match?
说不定我们今晚就会见面
And we may or may not be meeting tonight.
你真是个八卦制♥造♥者 那个人是谁
What girl you just built all the tea? Who was this guy?
他只是镇上的某个好人
He's just someone from around town seemed nice.
哇哦 快看小芭给自己找了个男盆友
Well, look at Barb's gonna get herself a man
才不是呢 只是 我只是好奇而已
That is not what this is. It's just... I was just curious
那就好啊 做自己就行了
Then that's fine. Just do your thing.
你不觉得这很奇怪吗 对吧
You don't think it's weird or anything, do you?
为什么很奇怪
Why would it be weird?
孩子什么的
With the kids and everything
他们够大了
They're old enough
但我不是
But I'm not
我已经被束缚在母亲的身份里太久了
My identity has been wrapped up in being mom for so
我想是时候开始尝试新鲜事物了
long I thought it was time I started exploring new things
比如说
Such as
做回自己是什么感觉
What it's like to be me
好了 今天是多少钱
All right, what'll that be today
一个半小时是吧 7.5美元
Uh, what was that an hour and a half? $7.50
不用找零了
Keep the change
谢啦 正好需要
Thanks, I need it
跟你们说 我最近一直在算账
Tell you boys I've been running the numbers
这的生意不容乐观
lately and things don't look very good around here.
什么
What?
我不太想说出来
I hate to say it
但我得为了比赛训练
Okay, ah. But I have to train for the competition
我比赛前每天都会过来
I'll be back here every day up until then
那样你的生意会有点起色的 对吧
that has to give you some good business, right?
只要科斯莫能发明出印钞机
every little bit helps
干什么都算是帮忙了
if only Cosmo had a way of inventing a money machine
我试过一次 差点进局子了
I tried that once, almost got arrested so
我明天还会来
I'll be back tomorrow.
好吧小伙们 祝你们过得愉快
All right guys. Have a good day
哎 走之前先等等
Hey, wait a minute before you go, uh
有些事想向你们咨♥询♥一下
There's something I would want to run past you
什么事情
What's that?
我今晚有个约会 我有点小紧张
I have a date tonight, and I'm kind of nervous about it
这就是你在停车场刷牙的原因吗
Is that why you were brushing your teeth in the parking lot?
不是
No
你们都是年轻人
So you guys are young
应付女人应该没问题吧
Sure, you have no problem with the ladies.
你们对我这样的老男人有什么忠告吗
You got any tips for an old fellow like me
这可不是我擅长的
That is not my department
没问题老兄 我来教你
It's okay, buddy. I got you
以我的经验来讲 我发现
You know in my experience, I've found
女士都喜欢听甜言蜜语
that ladies love being romanced by words
像诗人那种
You know be a poet say something like
窈窕淑女 肤如凝脂之类的话
you're fresher than tomorrow's milk, baby
小妞都吃那一套
chicks dig that
还有生理学说 女士们喜欢信息素
Also, um ladies love pheromones, you know biologically speaking.
所以就尽量保持你自己的气味
So just try to smell like yourself
除非她不喜欢你的气味
Unless, uh She doesn't like you and then
那就要闻起来像其他人
Try to smell like somebody else
特别注意
duly noted
行啦 那就明天见
All right, well, uh, see you tomorrow
我对霍伦贝克先生的话感到很担心
I'm worried about what Mr. Hollenbeck said
我就不提醒你了
Don't be I mean that place has
其实那地方在我们出生前就有了
been open since before we were born
不会那么简单就倒闭的
Ain't gonna close anytime soon.
对 但是有经济危机
Yeah, but, the economy
从我记事起我就想要这个了
I've wanted this as far back as I can remember
目标
1.成为顶级滑轮运动员
2.找到老爹
放松点 一切都会好起来的
Relax, everything will work itself out
是的 那你经常提起的墨菲定律呢
Yeah, but what about Murphy's Law you talk about that a lot.
会出错的事情总会出错
If something can go wrong it will
科学基本上对所有事实都是正确的
Look, science is right about basically everything it's factual,
但这个不一样
but This is different
这是命中注定
It's fate
你命中注定赢得比赛
Your fate is to win this competition.
当然 我也希望如此
I sure, hope so
嘿 我今天收到了个派对的邀请
Hey, I, uh, got invited to a party today
啥
What?
是高中的那个莉莉给我的
Yeah by uh by that girl from high school, Lily
她说我能带朋友们去
Um, she said I could bring friends.
你有没有告诉她你只有一个朋友
Did you tell her you only have one
没有
No!
哦 那为什么呢
Oh, and why is that?
因为我不止有一个 我有一群
cuz I don't. I have friends as as in multiple
朋友们 是复数
Friends, it's plural.
噢 是吗
Yeah, really?
噢 是的
Yes. Really.
那请问其他朋友是谁
Okay. Well, who are these other friends?
就其他人啊
People!
不不不 我要具体的名字
No, no, I want names
朋友也可以是家人
Okay, yo... your family can be friends too
不管怎样 我们是不会去的
Anyway, we're not going
我们一定要去
We have to!
为什么
Why
因为
because
是个大学派对 对吧
It's a college party, right?
那就意味着有姑娘在那
Which means there'll be girls there
女大学生
College girls.
谁 谁管啊 我们又不去上大学
Who... Who cares? We don't go to college.
我们干吗要去啊
Why would we go?
因为 漂亮小姐姐邀请了我们就得去
Because, um, a pretty girl invited us so we should go.
万一你没注意到
in case you haven't noticed
我们不是真的适合那种派对
we don't really fit in at those kind of parties.
也许这次我们试一下
Okay. Well maybe this time we try
好吧 那我妹妹怎么办
Okay, uh, what about my sister?
我妈很晚才回家
My mom will be out late and
我不能把她一个人扔家里
I can't leave her home alone.
答案就在你嘴边了 她很晚回家对吧
I think you just said your answer, right? She'll be out late
所以我们就出去玩一通
So we'll go out have fun and then
然后在她回家前赶回去
we'll be back before she's even home
你觉得我们会玩得开心吗
Do you think we'd have any fun?
我会的
I would
我也尽量吧
I'll try
太棒啦
Yes!
但是 我们得在我妈回来之前离开
Okay, but we can leave before my mom gets back.
好滴
Yes
如果我不开心我们也要走
and we can leave if I'm not having any fun