环球卫士

is Fiddler on the Roof!
♪ 如果有一天我变得很有钱 ♪
♪ If I were a rich man La da da da da... ♪
等等
Wait a second.
我想我找到了我的特伊
I think I just found my Tevye.
特伊是音乐剧屋顶上的小提琴手中的角色
你会过得很愉快的 激动人心
You're going to have a heck of a time. Very exciting!
对不起
I offer greetings, my fair princess.
我叫 亚历克斯
I humbly submit my name, Alex.
她看起来很可爱
She seemed nice.
好了 谁是下一个
All right, who's next?
中国人吗
China?
好的
Okay, um...
不不
No, no, no.
你好
Ni hao!
呃
Um...
欢迎 来 夏令营
Welcome... to... camp!
我超爱
I love...
成龙
Jackie Chan.
你能明白我说的话吗 行吗
Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth? Okay?
走吧
Move along.
哇哦 中国人
Wow. China.
兄弟 你去哪儿了 宝贝儿
My man, where you been, baby?
你还记得黑人式握手吗
You remember the black man hand...
-不记得了吗 -你说过我不能这么做
- Nope？ - You said I can't do it.
我在试验你
I was testing you.
牛逼 宝贝 很好 走吧
Good shit, baby. Good shit. Move along.
你得开始穿丝绸
You gotta start wearing the silk.
-为了泡到妹子 你不能穿 -没事
- That's what gets the girls. You can't wear - Never mind.
放到盒子里来
Put it in my box.
box在俚语中有阴♥道♥的意思
抱歉 你说啥
I'm sorry. What?
把它放到盒子里
Put it in my box.
就是拿出来然后放进盒子里
Uh... Just take it out and put it in my box.
你现在在这么多人面前说这个
You saying in front of a lot of people right now.
你确定吗
You sure about that?
请把你的手♥机♥放进这个盒子里 好吗
Can you put your cell phone in the box, please?
哇哦 手♥机♥
Whoo! Phone!
是的 对 我还以为你是其他意思
Yes. Yeah, I thought you meant something else.
-我还以为 -你以为什么
- I was... - What'd you think I meant?
你不会想知道我刚才以为是什么意思
You don't wanna know what I thought you were...
-大流士 你刚才 -不不不
- Dariush. Did you...? - No, no, no, no.
-大流士 -我没有那么想 不不
- Dariush. - I didn't think that, no. I didn't...
我没有
Oh... I didn't...
你知道吗 老实说
You know what, to be honest with you,
我把手♥机♥放家里了
I left my phone at home.
-我没带手♥机♥来 -好吧
- I don't have my cell phone with me. - Ah. Okay.
好了 我最好在让你觉得丢脸之前
Okay, I better say goodbye to you now before
现在就和你告别
I embarrass you in public.
你知道这是什么意思吗
You know what that means?
别这样 妈妈
No, Mom!
♪ 无论山有多高 ♪
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪
妈妈 你说过你不会这样的
Mom, you said you wouldn't.
♪无论谷有多深 ♪
♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪
♪ 不论河有多宽 ♪
♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪
♪ 我都会冲破阻碍 到你身边 ♪
♪ To keep me from getting to you ♪
好了
Okay.
我爱你
I love you.
玩得开心
Have fun.
拿着
Hold this.
怎么了 小东西
What's up, tool?
你准备好了吗
You ready?
这很好玩的
This is gonna be fun.
很帅的头盔
Cool helmet.
别往下看 别往下看
Don't look down. Don't look down.
好了 你可以开始了 安全第一
All right, Zhenzhen, you are good to go. Safety first.
嗨 妹子 我是大流士
Mm-hmm. 'Sup, girl? I'm Dariush.
在这儿和你邂逅真是有缘 你觉得呢
Is this a layover because we're making that connection, you feel me?
行了
Oh, all right.
这是我听过最糟糕的搭讪 小伙子
That pickup line was the worst I've ever heard, man.
这是游戏 女孩们看到我就会坠落的
I got game. Girls fall when they see me.
对 她们掉下去就等于自杀了
Yeah, they fall off the zip line and almost commit suicide.
不 她们是坠入爱情
No, they fall in love.
是这样吗 好吧 就像这个吗
Is that right? That's right. Like that one?
听起来不错 但你应该给她说而不是我
It was cool... But you should've said it to her, not me.
下次吧 别给我来这套
Next time. Don't use it on me.
红发小子上来了 准备好了吗 亚历克斯
Carrot Top's up next, you ready, Alex?
在西方红头发表示不吉利 是被歧视的
我们来玩儿这个 宝贝儿 来吧
Let's do this, baby. Come on.
来这个边上
Come to the edge.
看 就这个边上 我们过来
Look, right over to the edge. There we go.
来吧 来这个边上
Come on, come to the edge.
-你只要做个深呼吸 -不 我不行
- All you gotta do is breathe. - I can't. I can't.
呼吸 看着我 看我
Breathe. Look at me. Look at me,
你冷静 深呼吸 好吗
all you gotta do is breathe. Okay?
闭上你的眼睛 当你睁开眼睛
Close your eyes and when you open them
你就到那边了
you'll be on the other side.
-我不行 我不行 -钢索的另一边
- I can't, I can't, I can't! - The other side of the zip line...
你不会死的 不会死的
You won't die, you won't die!
好吧
Okay.
或许这个夏令营不适合你
Maybe camp's just not for you.
还好吗
Okay?
站住
Hey, hey, stop.
所以 你是夏令营里的胆小鬼 对吗
So, you're this summer's chickenshit, huh?
一位美国国家航♥空♥航♥天♥局发言人曾说 他们反复
A NASA spokeswoman has said "The agency's repeated attempts
尝试联♥系♥空间站都以失败告终
to contact the International Space Station are failing."
但没有透露其中的原因
But stopped short of revealing possible causes.
当被问到国际空间站
When asked if the ISS
ISS: 国际空间站国际空间站
和飞船上的三名科学家是否有危险
and it's three scientists onboard could be in danger,
他们声称会想尽一切办法
the agency held firm that it is doing everything it can
与航♥空♥站恢复联♥系♥
to restore communication.
与此同时 部队行动观察报告显示
Meanwhile, reports of observed troop movements...
-玩具总动员搞砸了 -怎么会
- Toy Story was messed up. - How?
比如说 那第三个孩子 那个小孩
Take the third one, for example, that teenager,
他就是个典型的白人
he represents the white folks.
还有牛仔 宇航员和弹头夫妇
And Cowboy, Spaceman and Mr. And Mrs. Potato-people,
他们代表黑人兄弟
they represent the brothers.
好 让我捋清楚
Okay, so let me get this straight.
-我们就是玩具 -对了
- We're the toys. - Preach.
而当白人离开房♥间的时候
And when the white man leaves the room,
我们就能玩的尽兴
we get to have fun.
玩到爽
We get to shake it up.
但是白人一回来
But when the white man comes back in,
我们就得一动不动听其摆布
we gotta get stiff and do what they tell us to do.
你终于懂我意思了
Now you're on my level.
所以很明显这是统治阶级
So it's obviously the ruling class justification
在为工人阶级的恶劣条件做辩护
for the inferior conditions of the working class.
-好兄弟 -那《海底总动员》呢
- My brother! - What about Finding Nemo?
不准说《海底总动员》的坏话
Don't say nothing bad about Finding Nemo.
好了 亚历克斯
Okay, Alex!
再问一个问题
One more question.
为什么我们说话的语气像八十年代的黑人
Why are we talking like black men from the '80s?
因为他们就希望我们这样子讲话
That's what they want us to do.
没错 兄弟
Preach, brother.
让我们带这群白人小孩
Got us with all these white kids,
-你有看到黑人小孩吗 -有看到一个
- You see any black kids? - I see one.
大流士吗 他家那么有钱
Dariush? He got enough money,
他都算得上是半个白人了
he damn near white.
亚历克斯
Alex.
亚历克斯 亚历克斯
Alex. Alex!
亚历克斯 快来
Alex, come on!
好了 快跟上
All right, keep up.
我的腿没有知觉了