像素大战

Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones,
例如即将出现的艾威夷
like the soon-to-be-called Edwahii.
你休想得到一座岛
You're not getting an island.
然后我要完全特赦 永远离开这里
Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good.
等我出狱 我一辈子都不要...
And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like,
缴税
forever.
也不缴营业税 比方说 我想买♥♥口香糖
And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum,
我要秀一张卡 表示我拯救了世界
I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world."
我的口香糖不必缴什么鬼营业税
I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum.
我要一驾匿踪攻击直升机 就像超级杯上空那种
And I want a stealth-attack helicopter, like they fly over the Super Bowl
随时供我差遣使用
at my disposal, at all times.
那样我才能到处飞
You know, so I can fly around.
如果世界没灭亡 我不想再塞车
If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more.
最后
And lastly,
我要你在白宫里
I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous
安排我跟球后小威廉斯 和玛莎史都华
between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart
来场浪漫约会
in the Lincoln Bedroom.
第一 你不可能得到直升机
Number one. You're not getting a helicopter
或任何交通工具
or any sort of flying or driving vehicle.
第二 联邦政♥府♥
Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government
可以不向你收所得税
could do without your income taxes and be fine.
第三 如果帮我们击败这些东西
And number three. If you help us beat these things,
我可以让你出去
I think we can get you outta here.
跟那两个人玩3P呢
And the Martha-Serena sandwich?
挑一位 我安排你们喝咖啡
Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee.
小威廉斯 就这么办
Serena Williams. And we are closed.
喂
Hello?
我了解
I understand.
时间就在今夜
It's happening tonight.
地点呢
Where?
纽约市
New York City.
好戏上场罗
Fuhgeddaboutit!
你好 大苹果
Hello, Big Apple.
菁英救兵驾到
The cavalry has arrived.
感谢你们前来
Thanks for comin'.
我们看到你们击退大蜈蚣
We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes.
希望你们也能帮助我们
We hope you can do the same for us.
希望如此 现在是什么状况
We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with?
这边请
Over here.
菜鸟 告诉他们你看到什么
Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw.
超可怕
It was awful.
好像那种怪物电影
It was like one of those monster movies, you know?
可是这次...
But this time
怪物是真的
the monster was real.
这个怪物是谁
And who was this monster?
吃豆人
Pac-Man.
吃豆人 靠 我的最爱
Pac-Man? Boom. That's my jam.
我们用轻航♥空♥炮
Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back
把那个缺角披萨轰回老家去
to whatever planet it came from.
不 轻航♥空♥炮杀不死吃豆人
No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac-Man.
只有那些幽灵才有办法
Those little ghosts do.
靠 那我们去找幽灵
Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts.
你们要幽灵
You want ghosts?
她有幽灵
She's got ghosts.
我们用方块的能量力场科技
We used the energy force-field technology from the cube
为每辆车研发四台迷你发电机 这些车也可叫
to develop four mini-generators for each of the cars.
幽灵
Ghosts.
我们称之为XM950攻击组件
We're calling them XM950 attack modules.
就叫迷你幽灵
Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts
我们记不住你讲的
'cause we'll never remember what you just said.
为什么有四辆 我们只有三个人 第四个是谁
Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth?
容我介绍岩谷彻大♥师♥
May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani.
吃豆人的创造者
The creator of Pac-Man.
你会说日语
You speak Japanese?
不会
No.
先生 真荣幸
Sir, what an honor.
谢谢你为我们的生活带来欢乐
Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives.
幸会
Awesome.
我让你的游戏成了我旗下的婊♥子♥
I made your game my bitch.
什么是...
What is a
婊♥子♥
"bitch"?
别理他 他是罪犯
Don't worry about it. He's a criminal.
-你还好吗 -嗯
-You all right? -Yeah.
假设他们跟大蜈蚣一样
Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules of the game like
照游戏规则来
they did with Centipede,
用能量场打到吃豆人三次 我们就赢了
if you guys hit Pac-Man three times with this energy field, we win.
拉德洛说得对 你闻起来好香
Ludlow's right. You do smell good.
-祝你好运 -好
-Good luck. -Yeah.
各位 我会传吃豆人目前的座标
Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates
到你们车上的GPS
to each of your car's GPSes.
找到他 歼灭他
Let's locate and eliminate.
加油
Come on, guys.
吃豆人是坏蛋
Pac-Man's a bad guy?
吃豆人并不坏
Pac-Man is not bad!
我创造他是为了给世人带来欢乐
I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world.
外星人把他给洗♥脑♥了
They have brainwashed him!
在他内心深处 他善良 温柔
Deep down, he's kind, gentle.
能和你分享心事或一起吃汉堡
Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
等一下你们就知道了
You'll see.
岩谷大♥师♥ 回到车上
Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
岩谷大♥师♥ 你要干嘛
Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'?
我要跟他说话 他是我儿子
I will talk to him. He's my son!
不 这样不好吧
No, that's a bad idea.
哈罗
Hello,
我的心肝宝贝
my sweet little boy.
你看你长这么大了
Look how big you've grown!
我为你感到骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
真是太温馨了
It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
可是你搞的这些破坏
But all these destructive things you're doing,
是不对的
it's wrong.
我是你父亲
I'm your father.
我知道
I know
你是乖宝宝
you're a good boy.
不
No!
来人把这个蠢婊♥子♥给毙了
Somebody kill this stupid bitch!
情同父子照样翻脸
That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there.
好 鲁蛇们
All right, losers!
三个打一个
It's three on one.
好戏上场
Let's hit it.
吃豆人比我印象中还快
Pac-Man's faster than I remember.
吃豆人一向跑得比幽灵快
Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts.
我们得设法追上他
We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass.
神奇三小 你和亚军哥分头走
Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off.
我来对付缺角披萨
I'll stay with Big Yellow.
埃迪 你动作怎么这么快
Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
因为我是冠军 长腿中校
'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
好胆唛造
Nope!
有事吗
What's up?
赞啦
Yeah!
漂亮 埃迪
Good one, Eddie.
解决了一个
One down.
还有两个
Two to go!
刚在四条街外重生的
All right, Pac-Man Number Two
吃豆人二号♥往北前进
just regenerated four streets away headed northbound.
下个路口往东转
Turn east at the next intersection.
布伦纳 直走
Brenner, go straight.
收到
Got it.
拉德洛 左转
Ludlow, go left.
埃迪 下个路口左转
Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
逮到他了
We got him!
他插翅也难飞了