像素大战

库柏 店开了
Cooper, it's open.
开了
It's open?
快点
Come on!
一定超屌♥
It's supposed to be awesome.
谢罗
Thank you.
零钱还我 大烂人
Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser!
妈
Mom!
像素大战
可恶
Damn.
什么
What?
我真逊
I suck.
哇 山姆
Wow, Sam.
你怎么这么厉害 你又没打过
How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before.
我也不知道
I don't know.
它们有一个移♥动♥模式 注意看
There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch.
我看不出来 但你看出来了
I don't see it, but you sure as hell do.
运用原力 运用原力
Use the Force. Use the Force.
楚巴卡
Hey, Chewie.
你简直是超级巨星
You're a superstar, dude.
该让大家见识你的厉害了
And it's time to show the world.
各位选手请注意
Attention, all contestants.
比赛将在15分钟后开始
The competition will start in 15 minutes.
你也是 太好笑了
You too? That's so funny.
真的吗
Really?
我觉得你也超性感
I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself.
丽莎女神 我会永远爱你
Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time.
-你在跟谁讲话 -没有
-Who are you talking to? -Nobody!
等一下再聊
We'll talk later.
你是神奇小子拉德洛 对吧
You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right?
谁告诉你的 政♥府♥吗
Who told you that? The government?
我差一点就要解开 百慕达三角洲之谜了
'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle.
你一定没朋友吧
Wow, you don't have any friends, do you?
只有我阿嬷
Just my grandma.
神奇小子 你可以跟我们混
Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us.
真的吗
Really?
宅男和鲁蛇 你们好
What's up, geeks and goobers?
人家都叫我旋风之火
They call me the Fire Blaster!
因为我的手快如旋风
'Cause my hands are blazing fast,
能够打趴所有逊咖对手
and also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak-ass moves.
你们一定是本地的"惊英"
You must be the local talent.
若要比谁长得抱歉 我就输定了
If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble.
至少我们没乱取绰号♥ 旋风之火
At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster.
管他是谁想出来的
Who cares who came up with it?
这称号♥帅呆了
It's totally tubular.
欢迎各位选手光临第一届
Welcome, gamers, to the first annual
世界电玩锦标赛
Worldwide Video Arcade Championships!
今晚我们有来自金氏世界纪录
Tonight, we have representatives here from the Guinness Book of World Records,
以及NASA国家太空总署的代表
as well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration,
他们将录下今晚的比赛
who will be videotaping tonight's competition
收录到1982年 新闻与流行文化选集中
to be included in a compilation of 1982's news events and popular culture.
这支录影带将放在太空探测器中
That videotape will be placed in a space probe
由太空总署送上太阳系
which will be launched by NASA into our solar system
希望与可能存在的外星生命联♥系♥
with the hope of connecting to, and perhaps providing a message for
甚至提供讯息给他们
extraterrestrial life, should it exist.
他们存在的
It exists.
各位先生女士
Ladies and gentlemen,
比赛开始
start your gaming!
各位 今晚实在太精彩了
All right, ladies and gentlemen, what an evening we have had here.
总共创下六项新的全美纪录
Six new US records set.
三项新的世界纪录
Three new world records set.
战绩出炉了 有两人战成平手
And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie.
新任吃豆人世界冠军得到259分
Two hundred and fifty-nine points for your new Pac-Man world champion.
旋风之火 埃迪
The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant!
帅啊 旋风之火
Go, Fire Blaster!
新出炉的小蜜蜂大蜈蚣世界冠军 也得到259分
And 259 points for your new Galaga Centipede world champion,
超级新人王
rookie sensation,
山姆布伦纳
Sam Brenner!
赞啦 山姆
Yeah, Sam!
各位 我们来一决高下
Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie.
决胜项目是...
Let's play
大金刚
Donkey Kong!
祝你好运
-Good luck, man. -Thanks.
谢了 你很了这些电玩的模式
You have the patterns down pretty good with these games.
要打败你不简单
You're gonna be tough to beat.
大金刚的特色是关卡越高
You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is,
障碍就越难掌握 非常混乱
at the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost.
已经没有模式可遵循
And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore.
对吧 布伦纳
Does it, Brenner?
恭喜你
Congratulations.
得到第二名
On coming in second!
旋风之火勇夺世界冠军
Fire Blaster is the world champ!
本地的土包子想赢却赢不了
The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked.
他一日鲁蛇 终生鲁蛇
He's a loser, and he will always be a loser.
山姆
Sam!
山姆 等一下
Sam, Sam, wait.
山姆 听我说
Sam, listen.
你还是会上麻省理工学院
You're still gonna go to MIT
发明新科技变成富豪
and invent something that makes you a millionaire.
说不定还能娶林慧萍
And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John.
我比较想娶金瑞瑶
I was actually thinking Samantha Fox.
不错 但她又不是杨林
Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton.
喔
Well,
反正还有麦当娜
there's always Madonna.
史嘉蕾乔韩森怎么样
How about Scarlett Johansson?
超辣
So hot.
比不上荷莉贝瑞 可是超辣
Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot.
别忘了凯蒂佩芮
And don't forget Katy Perry.
这是干嘛 我们太老了 有够恶
What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already.
而且你娶了一个恨你的女人
Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you.
她不恨我 只是不了解状况
She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know.
我们不像十年前有时间相处
We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago.
这份工作快害死我了
This job is killing me, man.
如果我是你
If I were you,
就一天找半小时关掉手♥机♥
maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone,
不看电邮 别吃零食 专心陪老婆
shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars and focus on your wife.
总统今天继续当众出糗
The President's gaffe-filled summer continued today...
等等 我得看一下
Hold on a second. I gotta see this.
在约尼小学
...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School
推广青少年阅读活动
to promote his new youth reading initiative.
请看下面的报导
Here's what happened.
小米跳上桌 打翻一整碗汤
"Mittens jumped up onto the table and knocked over the whole bowl of soup.
皮太太倒抽...一口气
"Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped."
她倒抽一口气
She gasped.
整个房♥间陷入一片安静
"And the whole room fell silent.
真是惨不...
"This was casta...
真是惨不...
"This is cast...
惨不忍♥嘟
"Catatastrophic."
惨不忍♥睹
Catastrophic.
我知道啦 小朋友
I got it, sweetheart, okay?
你干嘛这么凶
Why'd you yell at me?
你好坏
You're mean.
不要凶她
Leave her alone.
总统不识字
The President can't read.
你得好好认字 没别的办法
You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that.
我才睡三个小时
I was on three hours' sleep, all right?
-你的经济方案伤害了穷♥人♥ -大家好
-Your economics are hurting poor people! -Nice to see ya!
你双手沾满了无辜小孩的鲜血
You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands.
感谢大家支持
Thank you for your support.
-你害我没钱上大学 -好漂亮的衣服
-I can't afford to go to college because of you! -That's a lovely dress.
-你毁了这个国家 -我们一起努力
-You're ruining the country! -Yeah, we're all in this together, now.
你日子真不好过 兄弟