像素大战

The Pac-Man cheat code for super-speed.
-你作弊 -那又怎样
-You're a cheater. -So what?
当时我用秘笈赢得比赛
I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate.
现在我又用它来打击外星人 结果成功了
So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked.
你一生都在作弊
You've been a cheater your whole life?
不
No.
十岁以后才开始
Only since I was 10.
我用这招在世界锦标赛击败布伦纳
That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Yeah.
我的丰功伟业都要感谢这付墨镜
I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades.
你做了什么
What did you do?
没有 我们遵守所有规则
I didn't do anything. I thought we obeyed every rule.
你错了 死老百姓
Ya thought wrong, civilian!
我们把唯一机会浪费在你身上
We squandered our one chance on you!
一个音响修理工
A hi-fi repair man.
我发誓...
But I swear...
别说了 你听到霍尔与欧兹的话 你搞砸了
But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it!
我看过你的档案
I've seen your files.
你这辈子一事无成
You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life.
布伦纳打赢两战 上将 比你多两战
Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you.
注意你的礼节 中校
I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel.
你太过投入这出浪费时间的闹剧
You were all over this sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time.
有时我怀疑你替火星人效命
Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself!
去死吧 上将
Drop dead, Admiral.
你不准再参与这项任务
You're done.
够了 听好
All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen.
我们努力过却没有用
We tried something. It didn't work.
怎么回事
What is that?
马帝
Matty!
马帝
Matty!
没想到他们抓马帝当战利品 真遗憾
I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry.
我们一定有办法解决
Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do.
埃迪呢
Where's Eddie?
埃迪 他跑去躲起来 我们再也见不到他了
Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again.
楚巴卡不肯接我电♥话♥
Chewie won't take my calls.
薇乐丽被开除 我们只能靠自己了
Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys.
这感觉好像我的星球
This feels like my planet.
没有乐趣 没有欢笑 只有战争
No fun. No laughter. Only war.
等等
Wait.
等一下 Q伯特来自那里 他知道他们所有秘密
Wait a second. Q*bert is from there. He knows all their secrets.
我们曾经是个快乐的星球
We were once a happy planet.
在你们威胁我们之前
Before you threatened us.
但我们没威胁你们 你看过旧游戏的影片
But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games.
他们不知道那是游戏
They do not know they are games.
你何不告诉他们 阻止他们
Well, why don't you tell them that, Q*bert, and stop them?
来不及了
It's too late.
现在母舰在创造数百万电玩战士
And now the mothership is creating millions of video-game warriors
准备摧毁地球
to destroy your planet.
听好 我们只要进入母舰阻止他们
Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them.
到时候就能救出马帝
We can rescue Matty while we're up there.
你想上去
Up there. You wanna go up there?
这样似乎不太好 他们抢走了我们的轻航♥空♥炮
I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons.
这主意不妥
I don't think that's such a good idea.
我们有比轻航♥空♥炮更好的武器
We have something better than light cannons.
我们有不屈服的乐观态度
We have a positive can-do attitude.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
我们都会死光光
We are all gonna die.
我只是...
I'm just...
拍谢
Sorry.
你们确定要这么做
Are you sure we wanna do this?
或许我们能去另一个星球住
I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on.
少啰唆 我们上母舰去
Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship.
唯一办法就是跑到它正下方
And the only way to do that is to get directly under it.
那是唯一进入的方法
That's the only way in.
电玩特攻队来了 别担心
Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry!
快点...
Come on! Come on! Come on! Go!
跟着我
Stay with me!
没人比我更会抓娃娃
Nobody's better at the crane game than me.
楚巴卡
Chewie?
你干嘛变装 兄弟
What's with the disguise, buddy?
他们想带我去地下碉堡 我就豁出去了
They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue.
水啦
Yeah!
神奇小子 你得留在地面上 这些人需要保护
Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
撑下去 多笑 多爱
Hey, live long, laugh much, love often.
够了
That's it.
不
No.
走开
Back it up.
谢谢你当我朋友
Thanks for bein' my friend.
因为我爱你
'Course, buddy. I love ya.
去英勇杀敌吧
Now go kick some ass.
总统先生 能给我一把轻航♥空♥炮吗
Mr. President, may I have a light cannon?
别跟人家说我杀了蓝色吃豆人
Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf.
嘿
Hey!
放过那些孩子
Get away from those kids now!
拜托
Please?
嘿
Hey!
我整个青春期
I spent most of my formative years
一直想让你活起来
trying to figure out a way to bring you to life
就像电视上的科学节目那样
all Weird Science-style.
每次生日许愿时
I used every birthday wish,
每当时钟来到11点11分
every 11:11 on the clock,
这始终是我的愿望
every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug.
我为此祷告
I prayed for this.
但显然你没有同感
But apparently, you don't feel the same.
到母舰底下了 Q伯特 现在呢
Okay. We're under it, Q*bert. Now what?
唉呀呀
Well, well, well.
看看是谁来了
Look who's here.
叛徒Q伯特
Q*bert the traitor
和他的作弊朋友
and his cheating friends.
来恳求第二次机会吗
Come to beg for a second chance?
算你们好运 老大想亲自见你们
You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person.
上来吧
So come on up!
你们若击败他 就能拯救地球 歼灭我们的战士
If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors.
要是输了...
But if you lose...
我们舰上见
See you on the other side.
你跟我想像的一样厉害
You are so powerful, just as I...
你赢了 我不想再跟你打了好吗
You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay?
我知道你心中有爱
I know that you have love in your heart,
也知道我能让你开心 但如果你需要杀了我
and I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me,
那就尽管动手吧
then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me.
至少我死前知道我找到真爱
At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love.
我跟小威廉斯连手都没握到
And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams.
唉呀呀
Well, well, well.
没想到会再见到你
Didn't think I'd see you again.
我得向自己和世界证明
I had to prove to myself and to the world
我没作弊也办得到
that I could do this without cheating.
等等 你作弊
Wait, you cheated?
下一题
Moving on.
要介绍我给你女友认识吗
You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend?
是未婚妻
Fiancee.
我们在哪 Q伯特 这什么地方
Where are we, Q*bert? What is this place?
不知道
I don't know.
但我好怕
But I'm scared.
太好了
Great.
那什么声音
What is that noise?
那是什么东西
What the hell was that?
大金刚
Donkey Kong.
你最不会打的电玩
The one game you suck at.
对
Yeah.
妈 在这里
Mom, up here!
马帝