诺艾尔

我能理解 戴着手套很难拨号♥吧
Oh, of course, probably hard to dial with mittens on.
圣诞节之前只有两天能陪他
Only get two days with him before Christmas,
现在我还迟到了
and now I'm late.
-陪谁 -我儿子
- With who? - My son, my boy,
我本来会载他去一场篮球赛的
I'm supposed to take him to a basketball game
现在我前妻却…
and now my ex-wife's...
去借个手♥机♥吧 肯定有人会借给你的
Let's find you a phone. I'm sure somebody will let us...
不 没人会随随便便就借你手♥机♥
No, people don't just let people borrow phones.
-不是这样借的 -马上是圣诞节了
- It doesn't work that way. - It's Christmas.
我竟然忘了马上要圣诞了
Oh, I forgot it's Christmas.
那行 您好女士 我可以借用您手♥机♥吗
Okay, excuse me, ma'am, may I please borrow your phone?
我被你的疯病传染了怎么办
Like I want your germs.
你懂我意思了吧
Okay. See what I mean?
您好先生能借用您的…
Excuse me, sir, may I please borrow your...
现在懂了吧 克林科
See what I mean? Kringle?
克林科
Kringle?
找他借
Ask him.
-谁 -那个人 他是好人
- Who? - That man, he's nice.
-他是好人吗 -是啊
- He's nice? - Yeah.
你是怎么知道的呢
How do you know?
不知道 但我就是知道
I don't know, I just know.
你好
Excuse me.
-先生 -你好
- Sir, hi. - Hi.
我朋友着急打个电♥话♥
My friend has an important call to make,
但是手♥机♥没电了
his phone died.
不知道能不能借用您的手♥机♥
Is there any way he could borrow yours?
好的 没问题
Sure, no problem.
-谢谢 -没事
- Oh, thanks. - It's okay.
-非常感谢 -不用
- Thanks a lot. - No problem.
诺艾尔·克林科 希望您圣诞心想事成
Noelle Kringle. I hope you get what you want for Christmas.
-马特·鲍蒂斯塔 我其实信佛 -天啊
- Matt Bautista. I'm actually a Buddhist. - Oh, jolly!
我爸爸经常说 圣诞节很像寿司
My dad always said, "Christmas is like sushi,
寿司由日本人发明 却走向了全世界
"the Japanese invented it, but now everybody loves it."
我也确实很喜欢寿司
Well, I do love sushi.
谢谢您 我很感激
Thank you, I really appreciate that.
乐意之至 祝你们一天顺利
My pleasure. You guys have a great day.
-再见 马特 -再见
- Bye, Matt. - Bye.
谢谢你 克林科 我现在得走了
Thank you, Kringle. Uh, I gotta run.
给我你哥哥的照片
Give me that picture of your brother.
明晚来我办公室 拿上不能吃的钞票
Come by the office tomorrow night. Bring non-edible money.
没有这种钱吧
Do they make that?
开玩笑的 我当然知道有
I'm kidding. I know they do.
我会找够钱的 我会拿些钞票过去
And I'll find some. I will bring some.
谢谢你的帮助 你是个好人
Thank you for helping me, you're being so nice.
今天是好人日
It's a big day for nice.
对 好人日
Yeah. Big day for nice.
各位精灵们圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas, Elf-folk,
我是圣诞老人 圣诞老人盖比
it's Santa. Santa Gabe.
众所周知 我的堂兄尼克
As you may know, my cousin Nick,
也就是前任圣诞老人
the ex-Santa,
一直没有完成好孩子的名单
never completed the Nice or Naughty list,
不过值得高兴的是
but that's jolly.
这使我们能够有机会开♥发♥出
Because it allowed us to develop...
花拉拉
Falala.
潜在利他主义的横向分♥析♥勘验算法
Forensic Algorithm for Lateral Analysis of Latent Altruism.
这项数字化的标准
It's a digitized metric
让我们能够量化一个孩子的乖巧程度
which allows us to determine a child's Nice or Naughty quotient.
例如
For instance...
天啊
Holy night.
这是住在布鲁克林的卡利
This is Kali from Brooklyn.
通过分♥析♥他的网上行为 课堂记录
Using his internet activity, school records,
以及卫星监测数据
and satellite surveillance,
花拉拉已经能够查明
FALALA was able to ascertain that
他是个好孩子 并且他想要一台游戏机
he is Nice. And he wants a PlayStation.
我们正将包裹款式标准化为绿色和红色
We're now standardizing all packages in green, red,
以及更好的双色版本 漩涡款
or the best of both, swirl.
-这是什么 -牛油果酱吗
- Oh, what's this? - Uh, guacamole?
-牛什么油什么酱… -牛油果酱
-Guaca-what? Gua... - Guacamole?
牛油果酱 用什么东西做的
Guacamole? What is it made from?
Helen
Hi, Helen.
我现在每天需要150美元 行吗
Can I have $150 a day, please?
海伦 鸟食喂完了
Hey, Helen. We're all out of bird food.
那些鸟好像挺爱吃西班牙油条的
They seem to really be enjoying the churros.
说不定你可以去买♥♥一些油条 切成小块
Uh, you could buy some churros, cut them into little pieces
当成驯鹿零食卖♥♥给游客 就像你说的 海伦
and sell them as reindeer treats, like you said, Helen?
对 是的
Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well...
别把你的智慧藏起来了
Don't keep these little nuggets of brilliance all to yourself.
你还有多少个藏起来的点子
How many great ideas have you been sitting on?
3个
Three.
我们一起聊聊这些点子吧 我很想听你
Let's get together. I'd love to hear
说说你的想法
anything else you have to say.
你总是给人惊喜
You're full of surprises. Mmm.
-你是最棒的 -好
- You're the best. - Oh, yeah.
-海伦 -嗯
- Helen. - Yes.
我不能
I wouldn't... Um...
我没有150美元现金
I can't give you $150 in cash.
不过我可以给你值150美元的商品
But I can give you $150 in retail merchandise.
你想要什么 浴棒 肉桂卷
What would you like? Bath Bar, Cinnabon,
还是一辆克莱斯勒汽车
Chrysler Pacifica?
我不知道那些东西是什么
I don't know what those things are,
不过我全都要
but I will take all of them.
我们今晚能睡这里吗
Also, can we stay here tonight?
快点 这是个圣诞礼物交换派对
Come on. It's a Secret Santa party.
马特·鲍蒂斯塔是好人
Matt Bautista is nice.
圣诞老人 我们仍然不清楚
Santa, we're still not clear
在没有驯鹿和雪橇的情况下
how you plan to deliver billions
您打算如何派送数十亿份礼物
of presents with no sleigh or reindeer.
首先 实际上并没有
First of all, there aren't actually
数十亿份待派送的礼物 老精灵亚伯
billions of presents, Elder Elf Abe.
我们的研究显示
Our research indicates
世界上只有2837个好孩子
that there are only 2,837 nice children in the world.
什么
What?
盖比 这怎么可能呢
Gabe, how is that possible?
几乎每一个孩子都撒过谎
Nearly every child fibbed,
不愿意吃蔬菜
refused to eat their vegetables,
或者没能维护好口腔卫生
or failed to practice proper dental hygiene.
♪ 给所有人以快乐但你除外 ♪
♪ Joy to the world Except for you ♪
♪ 因为你忘记用牙线剔牙 ♪
♪ 'Cause you forgot to floss ♪
你不能这样评价一个孩子
Oh, no, you can't measure a child like that.
每个人都会犯错
Everyone makes mistakes.
正因如此每一个坏孩子
Which is why each naughty child
将收到一份评价通知书
will be receiving an evaluation notice
上面会写明评定的依据
explaining the decision
并会鼓励他们在来年做得更好
and encouraging them to do better next year.
不是吧
No!
克林科 进来吧
Kringle, come in.
刚好在看你的案子
Was just lookin' at your case.
你好 你是谁
Oh, hi! Who are you?
这是我儿子 艾利克斯 这位是诺艾尔
Oh, this is my son. Alex, this is Noelle.
你们长得很像
Oh, I totally see the resemblance.
我没找到现金 不过我带来了这些东西
I couldn't find any money, but I did bring all this stuff.
-这些是你偷的吗 -当然不是 偷不可取
- Did you steal this stuff? - Of course not. Stealing's naughty.
-那是新款马登鞋吗 -我不知道 应该吧
- Is that the new Madden? - I don't know, maybe.
我还拿了这些额外的圣诞装饰品
And also, I had all these extra Christmas decorations
我把它们塞进 我夹克的袖子里了
in the sleeve... of my jacket.
我觉得这些东西能把这里装饰得更明亮
And I thought they might brighten the place up a little.
谢谢 你很体贴 不过
Oh, thanks, that's kind. I haven't
你哥哥的事我还没什么头绪
come up with much on your brother.
我还要多找几天 今天例外
I'm gonna need some more time, not today,
因为我和艾利克斯要去打真人枪战
'cause Alex and I are going to laser tag.