不要见怪（2023）

Who?
裘蒂是我以前的保母 -转过来
Jody's my old nanny. - Turn around.
抱歉今天无法跟你上♥床♥
I'm sorry I couldn't have sex with you today.
我可能比较浪漫一点
I guess I'm just a bit of a romantic.
没关系
It's okay.
还是我们明天再聚聚
Maybe we could spend the day together tomorrow?
我保证我会准备好
Then, I promise, I'll put out.
好的
Sounds nice.
进篮得分
Swish!
那是什么
What's that?
你作弊
No blocking sensors!
你 出局
You! You're out!
那个像飞盘的东西 还有最小的… -好
Frisbee thing and then the smallest... - Yeah.
（雷射漆弹）
好了 知道了啦
Yeah. Got it, got it.
再见
Bye!
找点事做吧
Get a life.
来吧
There.
你打击的时候就可以喝水了
You can finally drink while you're at bat.
你真了解我 还有什么
You get me. What else?
闭上眼睛
Close your eyes.
伸出手指
And stick out your finger.
你这辈子离不开我了
Now you're stuck with me forever.
是手指陷阱
It's a finger trap.
波西 赶快拿开
Percy, get me out of this.
不要用扯的 放轻松
Stop pulling away. Stop pulling away. Relax.
要往内推
Just push in.
如果我们在高中认识 会成为朋友吗
Do you think we would've been friends in high school?
应该会吧
Yeah, I think so.
不知道耶 感觉你应该是…
I don't know. I feel like you were, like...
舞会皇后之类的
prom queen or something.
我连毕业舞会都没去
I didn't even go to prom.
什么 没人约你吗
What? Nobody asked you?
大家都跑来约我 连老师也是
Everybody asked me. Teachers asked me.
我有舞伴 洋装也准备好了
I had a date, and a dress, and...
发生什么事
What happened?
那是很久以前的事了 没人想知道
It was a long time ago. Who cares?
我想知道
I care.
你之前问我 为什么我妈生病不是我爸照顾她
Well, you asked why my dad didn't take care of my mom when she was sick.
那是因为他跟他的家人在市区
It's 'cause he was in the city with his family.
他们只有夏天会来度假
They summer here.
我妈是他的外遇对象
They had an affair.
后来我就出现了
And then I came along.
他不想处理我这个拖油瓶
I was just a mess that he didn't wanna deal with.
所以他请律师跟我们断得一干二净
So he had his lawyers clean everything up,
他给我妈一些钱跟一栋房♥子 要我们别再连络他
gave my mom some money and a house to make us go away.
过了很多年后 我写了一封信给他
Years later, I wrote my dad a letter
问他为什么不理我
asking why he wanted nothing to do with me.
但在毕业舞会当天早上
But, um, on the morning of prom...
那封信被退回来 没打开过
I got the letter returned, unopened.
在那之后 我没心情参加舞会
And so after that, I didn't wanna go to prom.
什么事都不想做
I didn't wanna-- I didn't wanna do anything.
就待在房♥间里哭泣
I just stayed in my room and cried.
你后来怎么没再找他
Why didn't you reach back out to him?
管他去死 是他要离开的 他随时可以联络我们
'Cause fuck him. He left. He can reach out.
怎样
What?
我可以亲你吗
Can I kiss you?
是裘蒂
It's Jody.
谁
Who?
我的保母裘蒂 记得吗
Jody. Uh, my nanny. Remember?
他跟我们约在灯塔 -好
"Meet at the lighthouse." - Yeah.
好
Okay.
你确定不要回我家吗
Are you sure you don't wanna just go back to my house?
刚刚的吻让我很兴奋
I'm still horny from that kiss.
太好了 裘蒂
Yes, Jody!
你好 -他来了
Hi. - There he is.
搔痒小王子
The tickle prince.
这位一定是鼎鼎大名的麦蒂
So this must be the famous Maddie.
你是裘蒂 波西的保母
And you're Jody. You were Percy's nanny?
神仙教父就是在下
Mr. Mary Poppins.
你们感情很好
You guys stayed pretty close, huh?
没错 超好的
Oh, yeah. Super close.
你赢了什么
What'd you win there, pal?
那是飞盘吗 -对 是麦蒂赢到的
Is that a Frisbee? - Oh, yeah, Maddie won it.
真棒 -很厉害吧
Nice. - Look at that.
麦蒂 好样的 -没错
Maddie, score! - Yeah.
小波 来个长传
Hey, Perce, go long.
交给我
I got it.
那小家伙速度真快
Real motor on that little guy.
你在打什么如意算盘
What the fuck do you want?
你说什么
Excuse me?
那是他爸妈的钱 不是他的
It's his parents' money, not his.
你特别喜欢小♥弟♥弟♥是吧
You like little kids or something?
我喜不喜欢小♥弟♥弟♥ 你还当保母耶
Do I like little kids? You're a male nanny.
你想从他身上得到什么
What do you want from him?
跟你一样 我想跟他约会
Same thing as you. I wanna date him.
我帮很多有权势的家庭带孩子
I have nannied for a lot of powerful families out here.
你敢伤害他的话
So if you hurt him...
我不会放过你
I'll hurt you.
你要怎么做 拿奶嘴丢我吗
What are you gonna do? Throw a pacifier at me?
嗨 兄弟 -我回来了
Hey, bud. - Hey.
掉到刺丛里 但我还是拿回来了
It was in a prickle bush, but I got it.
真厉害
That's incredible.
好 准备好要迎接你们的礼物了吗
Okay, are you ready for your gift?
好了 -好
Yeah. - Yeah.
我要拿出来了
I'm bringing it out.
天啊
Oh, my God...
你在哪找到的
Did you find this?
想说可以让他早点对冲浪有兴趣
Figured it would get him into surfing early.
天啊 这是…
Wow, this is...
它会转 -真的吗
It turns on. - It does?
要打开看看吗 也许会比较好
Why don't we see if that makes it better?
好啊 我的电池放在某个地方
Yeah, I have batteries somewhere.
真棒
Nice.
不行
No.
别克那件事进行得如何
Hey, how's the Buick thing working out?
我还没拿到车 -真的吗
I haven't gotten it. - Really?
（退件）
为什么
Why?
他们还没把车给你吗
I mean, they haven't given it to you yet?
你可以告他们
You could sue them for that, you know.
其实呢 我们还没上♥床♥
Well, actually, we haven't had sex yet.
他需要先培养感情
He just needs more of a connection first.
我真的很喜欢他 我们成了好友
I actually really like him. We're becoming friends.
他一定会忘了我 他秋天就要去念大学了
He's gonna forget all about me. He's going to college in the fall.
这我不确定
I don't know.
应该今晚就会发生 我们要一起吃晚餐
Well, it's happening tonight. We're getting dinner.
你们要一起吃晚餐
You're going to dinner.
所以你们是认真交往啰
Okay, so you're, like, "dating" dating, then.
闭嘴
Shut up.
我知道自己在干嘛
I know what I'm doing.
麦蒂
Maddie.
是我 道格汉
It's me, Doug Khan.
我们是高中同学 记得吗
We went to high school together. Remember? I...
我参加过校际田径赛
I ran varsity track?
我有一台樱桃红的马自达
I had that sweet cherry-red Miata?
我跟西语老师沃许女士有一腿
I had sex with our Spanish teacher, Mrs. Walsh.
道格汉 你不是还上了电视
Doug Khan! You were on TV.
沃许女士没去坐牢吗
Didn't Miss Walsh go to jail?
没有
No.
是汉太太有
Mrs. Khan did.
我们结婚了