南希·德鲁和隐藏的楼梯

当然
Sure.
那么
So, um...
亡灵什么时候会出现呢
When do the undead show up?
有时候是奇怪的响动
Sometimes it's weird sounds,
没开音响却传出音乐
music I didn't turn on...
然后突然间 灯光开始疯狂闪烁
Then suddenly, the lights start flickering crazily.
然后
And then...
事情开始变得不合理起来
Things just stop making sense.
怎样不合理
Don't make sense how?
可惜的是 没人能告诉你
Unfortunately, one cannot be told
双榆宅邸到底发生了什么
what happens at Twin Elms.
你应该靠自己去了解它
You have to experience it yourself.
你指像《黑客帝国》里演得那样亲自了解
You mean, like, the Matrix?
黑客帝国 美国科幻电影
我就知道你懂这个梗
I knew you'd get the reference.
-什么 -怎么了 亲爱的
- What? - What, honey?
我的天呐 我的上帝啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
怎么了亲爱的 海伦 发生了什么
What, darling? Helen, what is it?
怎么了 怎么了
What? What? What?
有东西在 在窗户那儿
There was in... In the window.
有张脸 在窗户外看着我
It was a face, out the window. It was looking at me...
-长得特别恶心 -你什么意思
- And it was, like, disgusting. - What do you mean?
看上去像只疣猪之类的东西
It was like a warthog or something.
养猪大户
The pig farmer.
-你之前见过他吗 -没见过活的
- Have you seen him before? - Never in the fIesh.
矮油 我讨厌这个词儿
Ew! I hate that word.
等一下 那玩应儿可能还在外面呢
Wait! That thing might still be out there.
但愿如此
Hope so.
我的天呐
Oh, my gosh.
您可真够胆儿大的 德鲁
Baller move, Drew.
在一个闹鬼的豪♥宅♥前抓幽灵
Hunting down a ghost in front of a haunted mansion,
却不记得带手电筒
and you forgot to bring a flashlight.
天 你个王
God. Son of a...
你在布兰肯希普先生家的草坪上
It was your duty to burn the word "assassin"
烧出 刺客 字样也是你的职责吗
into Mr. Blankenship's lawn.
不是这样的 他在射乌鸦 爸
Okay. No. He was shooting crows, Dad.
那是谋杀
That's murder.
如果你认为把镇上所有人搞疯了
If you think that driving everybody in town crazy
是一件对我们不利的事情
is gonna sabotage things so bad for us
这样我们就得回芝加哥 你想错了
we have to move back to Chicago, you're wrong.
-我们说好了的 -我们从来没说好过
- We had a deal. - We never made a deal.
协议是两个人对一件事观点相同
You know, a deal is when two people come to an agreement.
你做了那个决定
You made the decision.
我是说 你从没给过我真正的选择
I mean, you never gave me a real choice.
我想和我的朋友们一起待在芝加哥
I wanted to stay in Chicago with all my friends.
我从没想过搬来这里
I never wanted to move here.
我不能在这里 你是知道的
I couldn't stay there and you know that.
了解这个城市的一切让我想起了你妈妈
Knowing everything about the city reminded me of your mom.
也许 也许我不想忘记她
Yeah, well, maybe... Maybe I don't wanna forget her.
河高镇
河高镇切片节
停止
火车
拯救河高镇
建造火车
谢谢你
Thank you very much.
馅饼节
哪个馅饼
为火车投票吧
Vote for the train.
让我们给这个小镇注入新鲜的血液
Let's bring some new blood to this town.
一点文化 或者墨西哥快餐
A little culture, maybe a Chipotle, huh?
你有个玉米粉圆饼 你也有一个
You get a burrito. You get a burrito.
还有你
You get a burrito.
我的玉米粉圆饼在哪儿
Where's my burrito?
为火车投票 你就会得到的
Vote for the train, and you'll get one.
她在那儿呢 刚从监狱出来
There she is, straight from the hoosegow.
你的滑板在我这 甜心儿
I got your skateboard there, sweetheart.
好吧
Okay.
-听着 南希 -给她点私人空间 卡森
- Listen, Nancy. - Give her some space, Cars.
支持你们本地的商业
Support your local business.
为火车投票
Vote for the train.
来吧 尝一下
Here, have a slice.
也许你也会清醒过来 为火车投上一票
Maybe you'll come to your senses and vote for the train, too.
你是认真的吗 现在不是时候
Really? Not the time.
无论如何 火车都不会让任何人
Train won't make anyone
想参观这个令人愉快的垃圾场
wanna visit this delightful dump anyway.
河高镇可不是个垃圾场
Hey, River Heights isn't a dump.
如果火车从这里走的话 它会的
Well, it will be if this train comes through here.
听着 我在为了
Listen, I'm fighting
让这个镇子变得特别而努力
for what makes this town special.
它的魅力 还有社区
The charm of it, the community.
我是说 你有意识到
I mean, do you have any idea
有多少历史悠久的房♥屋将被夷为平地吗
how many historical homes will be knocked to the ground?
我亲爱的哥哥啊
Oh, my darling brother,
火车最终会把我们带到正确的时代
the train will finally bring us into the correct century.
爷爷只想让我们待在石器时代
Grandpa here wants to keep us in the Stone Ages.
你看 南希认为如果你
And look, Nancy thinks you're mental
发现这个地方的魅力 那你就疯了
if you find this place charming.
喂 汉娜 我还在这儿呢
Hello, Hannah. I'm right here.
这个镇子需要新鲜事物振作
This town needs something fresh to shake things up,
你明白吗
you know?
给它一点坏坏的因素
Give it a little bad element.
一个边缘 对吗
An edge, right?
你看到她在干什么了吗
You see what she's doing?
你看 你姑妈在纽约没能成功
See, your aunt didn't make it in New York,
现在她认为她能把那里所有的
and now she thinks she can bring all that
单口相声事业带到这里
and her stand-up career here, too.
我给艾米 舒默做过开场 知道吗
Hey, I opened for Amy Schumer, you know?
艾米 舒默:美国著名演员 编剧 导演 获得得美国第67届艾美奖
你演的是扇门 但是确实没说错
It was a door, but still.
看到了吗 那就好 你笑了不是吗
See? That was good, you laughed, right?
确实只这样
That was all right. Yeah.
我可以是小圈子里的大人物
I could be a big fish in a smaller pond,
在开放麦克风之夜充场
fill seats at open-mic night.
你怎么样 内特
Hey. How you doing, Nate?
只是越来越多的人看到你的日常相声
Just because more people come to see your stand-up routine,
并不能证明那些笑话很好笑
doesn't mean the jokes will actually be funny.
爸 我还不知道你还有幽默感
Wow, Dad. I didn't know you had it in you.
当然 用我的馅饼和梦想开玩笑
Sure. Take my pie and my dreams.
另外 小囚犯 我还以为你站我这边
And besides, jailbird, I thought you were on my side.
这是你俩之间的事 和我没关系
Whoa, this is between you two, not me.
好吧 我讨厌破坏一个家庭的和睦
Okay. I hate to break up a good family feud,
但是现在是时候向你妹妹这样被误导的人
but it's time we go show people like your misguided sister here
展示一下他们的错误
how wrong they are.
我在为那块馅饼指控你 内特
I'm charging you for that pie, Nate.
只是在做我应该的 维持我最爱的家庭
Hey, I'm just doing my part to keep my favorite family together.
你们几个是我唯一的朋友
You guys are all I've got.
另外 你♥爸♥是镇子有史以来最好的律师
Plus, your dad here is the best lawyer this town's ever seen.
口区 你们离远点
Ew! God, get a room.
听着 你♥爸♥来这之前
Hey, listen, before your dad got here,
火车是已经铁板钉钉的事了
this train was a sure thing.
现在不是了
Now, not!
这家伙就是这么有说服力
That's how persuasive this guy is.
好了好了 我们走吧
Yeah, yeah. All right. Let's go.
好的 拿着
All right, here you go.
好了 我同父异母的兄弟
All right, my brother from another mother,
我们去闹翻镇政厅会议吧
Let's go rock this town hall meeting.
我想说断条腿再回来 但是
All right. I'd tell you to break a leg, but...
-但你确实这么想的 -是的 没错
- But you'd actually mean it. - Yeah, exactly.
听着
Hey, listen.
我知道你♥爸♥让人很头疼
I know your dad's a big pain in the butt,
但是他很尊重你
but he does respect you.
如果他尊重我 那我就不会在这儿了
Yeah, if he respected me, I wouldn't be here.
过来 坐我旁边
Come here. Sit with me.
发生在你身上的事是无法用言语表达的
There are no words for what happened to you.