马大姐

Jesus Christ.
好 所有人 听我说
Okay, everybody, listen up real quick.
我家唯一的规矩就是
My only house rules are:
-不要妄称主的名字 -对不起
- Don't take the Lord's name in vain. - Sorry.
还有请不要吐在我家地板上
And don't spit on my floors, please.
还有你 把你的车钥匙给我
Oh, and you... I'm gonna need your keys.
离开前你得跟我确认一下
You got to check in with me before walking out that door,
因为我要知道你是安全驾驶
'cause I got to know you're safe to drive.
好 行 没问题
Cool. Yeah. Fine.
好的 还有不能到楼上去
Okay, oh, and nobody go upstairs.
那是我的地盘 现在有点乱
That's my world, and right now it's a mess.
所以 你们现在在这里
So, uh, you guys are free to do
可以想干嘛就干嘛 但是 你知道
whatever you want to do down here, but, you know...
太他妈棒了
Hell yeah...
真棒
Heck yeah.
谢谢 女士
Thanks, lady.
我给你们拿些杯子和冰块
I'll get you some cups and ice.
不好意思
Uh, excuse me.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
苏·安 你呢
Sue Ann. What's yours?
达瑞尔 这是安迪 查兹 海莉和麦琪
Darrell. That's, uh, Andy, Chaz, Haley and Maggie.
你有披萨卷吗 马大姐
You got any Pizza Rolls, Ma?
"马大姐"
"Ma"?
孩子 你有点过分了
Boy, you are too much.
我去给你们拿点零食
I'll get you some snacks.
随意 别客气
Go ahead and, uh, make yourselves at home.
伙计们 这太棒了
Guys, this is so sick.
天啊
Oh, my God.
安迪•霍金斯2002
-如果是私人的 -哥们 那是黑帮
- Oh, if it's personal... - Oh, that's gangster, bro.
不 不 没事
No, no, it's fine.
我爸为了小三抛弃了我妈
Um, my dad left my mom for someone else,
我认为她没别的地方可去
and I don't think she really had anywhere else to go.
你们真可爱
Oh, you guys are cute.
真好看
Eee. It's nice.
-好了 -够了
- Okay. - Oh, that's a lot.
-看我的 -哥们 你不擅长这把戏
- Here we go. - Oh. Bro, you are not good at those tricks, dawg.
我拿来了披萨卷 达瑞尔
I had Pizza Rolls, Darrell.
这地方太棒了
This place could be incredible.
你知道你还缺什么吗 听我说
You know what you need? Okay, hear me out.
一个沙发放这
Couch there.
这面墙放零食
Snack wall, bam.
也许这边再放一个投影仪
Maybe, like, a projector situation going on over here,
挂上各种灯
hang weird lights.
音响放这边 这边铺上地毯
Speakers over there, rugs all on here,
然后放张桌子来玩翻杯游戏和投杯球游戏
and then just, like, a real table for flip cup, beer pong.
你明白的
You get it.
我中彩票了立马就这样干
I'll get right on that as soon as I win the lottery.
然后把这地方变成豪华宫殿
Then I can turn this place into the Taj Mahal.
除非你不想变的很酷
I mean, unless you hate being cool.
如果你不想变的很酷
If you don't want to be cool,
那就是你的事了
that's on you.
我只是说说
Just saying.
你想看个很酷的东西吗
You want to see something cool?
好啊
Sure.
很酷 对吧
Pretty cool, huh?
天哪
Oh, shit.
脱掉衣服
Strip.
赶快脱♥光♥ 小子
Get naked, boy.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
你这么可爱简直是犯罪
You are under arrest for being so dang cute.
把裤子穿起来
Put that thing away.
我把这个收起来
And I'll put this thing away.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
这太疯狂了
That-that was insane.
这个根本不能用
This thing doesn't even work.
我搬进来的时候找到的
I found it when I was moving in.
你们都认为我是美狄亚吗
What, y'all think I'm Madea?
美狄亚 希腊神话中会施法术的公主
给你 拿着
Here, take it.
那个 不了
Uh-uh. No.
把它扔到池子里 与我无关
Toss it in a pond, for all I care.
没关系
No, it's okay.
很酷吧
Pretty cool, huh?
马大姐 你真的吓到我了
Ma, you fucking got me.
我们之间没事吧
Are we cool?
那不好说
We'll see.
你♥他♥妈♥吓死我了
You fucking scared the shit out of me.
我 我要吐了
I-I think I got to puke it.
我们得把这个人弄外面去
We need to get this one outside.
马大姐 我想吃披萨
Ma, all I... I just need some pizza.
你得来个薄荷糖了
And you need a breath mint.
你扶好他了吗
You got him?
谢谢你邀请我们过来 苏·安
Thanks for having us over, Sue Ann.
看着我
Oh, look at me.
看着我的手指
Okay, follow my fingers.
别看别的地方
Don't mess it up.
你结婚了吗
You're married?
他几年前走了
Uh, he left years ago.
我手指太粗了拿不下来 所以
My finger's too fat to get it off, so...
谢谢
Thanks.
很高兴见到你
It was nice to meet you.
谢谢你请我们来玩
And hey, thanks for letting us hang out.
没事的
Oh, please.
天知道我多久没这么开心了
I haven't had this much fun in God knows how long.
路上小心
Get home safe.
希望你们都能安全到家
That's all I care about.
一个大号♥香肠披萨
A large sausage pizza.
大号♥香肠披萨吗
A large sausage pizza?
现在你们知道聚会的地点在哪里了吧
Now you know where the party is.
我们今晚要回岩石堆 你想来吗
We're headed back to the rock piles tonight, if you want to come.
我们就是喝点啤酒
We'll just drink a few beers, whatever.
听着很棒
Well, that sounds cool.
-谢谢 -你去是吗
- Thanks. - Yeah?
-晚上见 -好
- See y'all tonight. - Mm.
会很有趣的
It'll be fun.
是
Yeah.
你回来了 宝贝
Oh, you're good, honey.
玩的开心吗
Did you have fun?
是的 很开心
Yeah, it was cool.
没什么的
It was no big deal.
苏·安·埃林顿
1987 摄影社
1987 合唱社
1988 畜牧学
玛姬• 汤普森
你只要平衡一下 找到中心
So, you just balance it out. You find your center.
好的
Okay.
然后你就可以去了
And then you go.
就这样 再来一次
That's how... One more...
不 我不要还给你
No, I'm not giving 'em back to you.
这太扯了
That is bullshit.
太好了
Yes.
不 等一下
Oh, wait. Excuse me.
这不是你们的
Those aren't for you.
这个给你
Take those.
-不好意思 -我的天
- I'm sorry. - Oh, my God.
埃里卡·汤普森吗
Erica fucking Thompson?
你好 梅赛德斯
Mercedes, hi.
你在这里干什么
What are you doing here?
你不是去加利福尼亚了吗
Uh, didn't you, like, go to California or something,
还是你准备要去了吗
and, like, you were gonna, like, make it?
我去了
Well, I did.
我结婚了 然后搬到了加利福尼亚
I got married, I moved to California,