JT·莱罗伊（2018）

It was, like, so obvious.
不 这就是JT 他很紧张
No, that's so JT. He's nervous.
他不能为自己说话 那太完美了
He can't speak for himself. That was perfect.
哦 小萨 相信我
Oh, Sav, trust me.
我从我的电♥话♥性♥爱♥经验中了解到这一点
I learned about this from my phone sex days.
让自己成为另一个人
You establish yourself as someone else, right?
你能做到的 去掉口音
You can do that. Then drop the accent
然后就没人会发现了
and nobody even notices.
他是虚构的
And he's illusive.
他是神秘的 而人们喜欢神秘的东西
That's part of the mystery and people love mystery.
我走进来的时候我差点没吐
I almost puked when I walked in.
啊 这太JT了
Ugh, that's so JT.
这太完美了
That was what was so perfect.
他看起来想吐 紧张 尴尬
He looked nauseous and nervous and awkward.
周五晚上 我们有读书会
Oh, my God, on Friday night, we've got the reading
有很多牛逼的人
and, you know, there are all these fabulous people
会去那读他的书 因为他从没出现过
that will show up and read for him 'cause he's never there.
但如果你出现了 呼吸急促
What if you just showed up and just, like, hyperventilate,
像要吐了一样跑出去
run out like he's gonna throw up?
-不可能 -当然可能
- No way! Mm. - Yes way!
我不能 这太恶心了
I can't. It was sickening.
要的就是这种感觉 这太赞了
That's that feeling. That's what's so beautiful.
做某件重要的事情之前
It's that feeling we all get like right before
就知道这样做没错
we do something important.
那好吧 无所谓了
You know what? Don't worry about it.
我下次可以找别人
I can get somebody else next time.
我得走了 杰夫和我还要去乐队练习
I gotta go 'cause Geoff and I have band practice.
妈的 我要迟到了
Shit. I'm late.
就穿这个吧 小萨 给你
I'm just gonna go like this. Okay, Sav, here.
-哦 谢谢 我 -这是你应得的 亲爱的
- Oh, thanks. I... - As promised, love.
非常感谢
Thank you, ta very much!
-天哪 那太有趣了 -再见
- Oh, my God, that was so fun. - See you.
城市之光书店出版商
谢谢
Thank you.
JT实际上感觉不舒服
Uh, JT actually isn't feeling well
所以我很遗憾 他今天没能来参加
so I'm sorry to say he won't be joining us after all.
我就说这是个骗局 没错吧
I told you. This is some sort of hoax. Right?
-喂 -小萨
- Hello? - Sav.
你今晚能过来吗 有个好消息跟你说
Can you come over tonight? I have big news.
天哪 快进来
Oh, my God. Get in here.
你可能都不信
You're not gonna believe what I'm gonna tell you.
你准备好了吗
Are you ready?
一个好莱坞制片人
A Hollywood producer
想把 莎拉 拍成电影
wants to make "Sarah" into a movie.
什么 不可能 你开玩笑吧
What? No way. Are you serious?
你能想象 莎拉 出现在大屏幕下吗
Can you imagine? "Sarah" on the big screen?
是的 是的 那的确是件大事
I... Yeah, yeah. That would be epic.
JT可以像真人一样说话和做事了
JT can do his thing and say, you know,
他会说 嘿 我是一个想要自主♥权♥受到尊重的人
"Hey, I'm an agoraphobe who just wants his autonomy respected."
但 他不能这样说
But... I don't think so.
我认为这是一个天大的机会
I think this is too big an opportunity.
我的意思是 你打算今晚叫上我吗
I mean, you... us tonight?
不 小傻瓜 这个周末
No, no, silly. This weekend.
在洛杉矶
In LA.
我们会呆在她家里
We'd stay at her house.
有一个聚会 关于阅读和摄影
There's a party, a reading, a photoshoot.
去吧 会很有趣的
Come on, it will be fun.
不 因为 我 我这周末要上班
No, just 'cause I... I'm working this weekend.
我必须要去
That's... that's the only thing.
小可爱
Sweet girl.
我知道上次的拍照让你很不舒服
I know the photoshoot was intense.
确实有点过了
Right? It was a... it was a lot.
但是 小萨 你身体里有一束光
But, Sav, there was a light in you.
我能感觉到那就是JT
And I... I felt him
他的灵魂从我这钻到了你那
leave my body and enter yours.
我是说 当他的灵魂出现的时候
I mean, I was in high school
我还在上高中
when, I don't know, he's turning tricks.
我真的想成为他吗
Am I interesting enough to, like, be him?
什么 你当然想啦
What? You are interesting!
我说真的 小萨 你真的很赞
Are you kidding me? Sav, you're incredible.
我不是讨厌我自己 这是这太不一样了
I don't, like, hate myself. I just... that's so different.
我认为你应该换个角度思考
I think you gotta think about this differently.
安迪 沃霍尔 美国艺术家 电影摄影师
比如说沃霍尔
I mean, we're talking Warhol,
齐格 星尘即大卫 鲍伊 英国摇滚乐手 格蕾丝 琼斯 超模
齐格 星尘 格蕾丝 琼斯
Ziggy Stardust, Grace Jones.
如果你某天早上醒来
What if you wake up one morning
说我想成为另一个人
and say I wanna be somebody else?
他们就行动了 而不是等着机会降临
That's what they did. They didn't wait for permission.
嗯 没错 我明白那种感觉
Well, yeah, I... I know that feeling.
我知道我想成为一名艺术家
I knew I wanted to be an artist, right?
因为我想要自己的生活
'Cause I was like, "I wanna have a life!
我不想待在个破隔间里朝九晚五
I don't wanna live in a fuckin' cubicle 9:00 to fucking 5:00.
这不是我想要的
That's not who I am."
吃饭 睡觉 约约炮
Fine. Fine. Spend my life. "Hello, hi. Wanna fuck?"
后半辈子都在搞电♥话♥性♥爱♥吗 不
Doing phone sex for the rest of my life? No.
我是个作家
I'm a writer.
难道我从20岁等到30岁
I spent my 20s and 30s waiting for somebody
希望有人能发掘我赏识我吗
to discover me, somebody to give me permission?
天上不会掉馅饼 你得自己去争取
Nobody gives you anything. You have to take it.
你想去争取吗
Are you gonna take it?
这些都取决于你自己 好好想想
You've got all these selves inside of you. Explore them.
这是你的机会 让他们看看你的本事
This is your time. Find out who the fuck you are.
-妈的 -薯片吃完了吗
- Oh, shit. - Are we out of chips?
天啊 我们吃了三包薯片
Oh, God, we ate three bags of chips?
我都要成油腻的薯片了
I'm gonna be sweating potato chips.
别怕 已经没东西吃了
Don't worry. no food tomorrow,
但我们还需要些又甜又咸的东西
but we need the sweet with the salty.
-我没了 -这里还藏着有
- I don't. - Secret stash.
-巧克力 -你吃吧
- Chocolate. - I'm okay.
-你不吃吗 -不吃
- You don't want? - Unh-unh.
跟我说说那男孩
Hey, tell me about this boy.
肖恩吗 怎么了
Sean? What about him?
你男朋友吗
Well... you date men?
呃 算是吧
Uh, sometimes.
我喜欢像他这么帅的 但我比较看的开
If they're as cute as he is, I do. But I'm open.
我更喜欢女孩
I like girls, obviously.
我不太想去女同夜店了
I can't go to any more Dyke nights.
感觉很不自在
It makes me so uncomfortable.
太尴尬了
It's so embarrassing.
糟糕的音乐 以及
The music's so awful and...
杰夫有没有告诉过你我们一次见面时
Did Geoff ever tell you I pretended to be a dyke
我假装自己是女同吗
when we first met?
没说 为什么
No. Why?
因为他太帅了
'Cause he was so good-looking.
我想知道他是否喜欢我
Well, I wanted to know if he liked me for me.
噢
Aww.
试探一下免得变成被迷得团团转的胖女孩
Test the waters and not be the fat girl swooning.
嘿
Hey.
我那时100磅
I was 100 pounds
比现在胖
fatter than I am now.
我不觉得啊
Oh, I didn't realize that.
幸好我不在意别人怎么骂我
Good thing I'm not terrified of the knife.
但我之前有过女朋友
But I've been with women before.
特别是在福利院的时候
Especially in the group home.
说说看
How was that?
做♥爱♥那感觉很奇妙
Sex was amazing.
我是问福利院
No, I mean, the group home.
很艰苦
Oh. Rough.
但它也把我锻炼的皮糙肉厚去面对生活
But it gave me the tough skin I live in.
我常常晚上偷偷溜出去
You know, I used to sneak out at night
打电♥话♥给自杀热♥线♥寻求帮助
and call suicide hotlines for help,