周年纪念日（2025）

Whose side are you on, Dad?
没有站边
There are no sides!
有站边 很明显 -没有站边
There are sides. Clearly. -There are no sides.
没有站边
There are no sides.
他们就像某种联合文学圣♥战♥
They're like some united literary jihad.
字面意思
Literally.
杰玛 真有趣 记下来
Gemma, that's funny. Write that down.
可以用在演出里
That goes in the show.
她要生了吗？-不 她不是要生了
Is she in labor? -No, she's not in labor.
是压力导致的
It's the stress.
你想出去透透气吗？我们出去透透气
You want to get some air? We're gonna get some air.
她说那句话时 很清楚自己在做什么
She knew exactly what she was doing when she said that.
演戏… 嗨 妈妈 -真♥他♥妈♥疯了
Acting... Hi, Mom. -It was fucking crazy.
嗨 妈妈
Hi, Mama.
乔希说他们今晚就要走
Josh said that they're gonna leave tonight.
去游泳 -什么？
Going for a swim. -What?
在十一月 妈妈？-去他妈的全球变暖
In November, Mom? -Fucking global warming.
搞什么？家庭拼字游戏呢？
What the hell? What happened to family Scrabble?
它改变了生活 它改变了我的生活
It's changed lives. It changed mine.
他们把罗伯也拉拢了 小心点
They got Rob. Watch out.
我需要找个新助理了
I'm gonna need a new assistant.
是啊 没错
Yeah, no shit.
罗伯真的很想组建家庭
Rob really wants to start a family.
真的？
Really?
是啊 真的 真的 真的很想
Yeah, really. Really, really badly.
那是他全部的话题 -你想要什么？
That's all he talks about. -What do you want?
有趣的是 我没什么繁衍后代的冲动
Funny, I don't really have an urge to reproduce.
你知道吗？-我知道
You know? -Yeah. I know that.
你觉得那样我很自私吗？
You think that makes me selfish?
呃 操 不 那一点也不自私
Uh, fuck no, that does not make you selfish.
但我确实觉得你可能有点抑郁
I do think you might be a little depressed, though.
给他烤只鸡 给他口♥交♥ 他就会好的
Roast him a chicken, give him a blow job. He'll be fine.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
我只是想在走之前确认你没事
I just want to make sure you're okay before we go.
你们要走了？
You guys are leaving?
哇
Wow.
哈
Huh.
你很投入啊
You're very committed.
这里真像个实验室
It's like a real laboratory in here.
你知道 在我换专业之前
You know, I wanted to be a scientist
我想当个科学家
before I changed majors.
你为什么换了？
Why did you change?
我意识到我想有所作为
I realized I wanted to make a difference.
科学也能有所作为
Science makes a difference.
当然
Sure.
它在波托马克河里生长
It's growing in the Potomac.
一直劳作直到找到新的宿主依附
Toils until it can find a new host to attach itself to.
那就是它开花并感染整个生态系统的方式
That's how it blossoms and infects the entire ecosystem.
我或许可以帮你搞到…
I could probably hook you up with a password
全球病毒网络档案的密♥码♥
for the archives from GVN.
你能访问全球病毒网络？
You have access to the Global Virus Network?
当然 给 把你的手♥机♥给我
Sure. Here. Give me your phone.
现在我们可以随时联♥系♥了
Now we can talk whenever we want.
爸爸 -小鸟 你没事吧？
Dad! -Birdie, you okay?
爸爸在哪儿？爸爸 -小鸟 怎么了？
Where's Dad? Dad! -Birdie, what's going on?
爸爸在哪儿？爸爸 妈妈在哪儿？
Where's Dad? Dad! Where's Mom?
她在游泳 你吓到大家了
She's having a swim. You're scaring everybody.
怎么回事？告诉我们发生什么事了
What's going on? Just tell us what's happening.
看
Look!
哦
Oh.
天啊 那是你妈妈吗？
Jesus, is that your mother?
哦 该死
Oh, shit.
关掉它 不管谁发给你的
Shut it off. Whoever sent that to you,
叫他们立刻删掉
tell 'em to take it down right now.
我做不到 -你什么意思你做不到？
I can't. -What do you mean you can't?
在网上 到处都是 -操
It's online. It's everywhere. -Fuck.
你们这些人怎么回事？
What's wrong with you people?
哦 谢谢 杰玛 真是好建议
Oh. Thanks, Gemma. Real great input.
嘿 妈
Hey, Ma.
哦 宝贝 宝贝 宝贝 -哦 操
Oh, baby, baby, baby. -Oh, fuck!
是尿 对吧？-你没事吧 宝贝？
It's pee, isn't it? -You okay, baby?
弗农山医院
Mount Vernon Hospital.
哦 我的天 哦 我的天
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
好了 我们得去医院
Okay, we got to go to the hospital.
弗农山医院 我来开车
Mount Vernon Hospital. I'll drive.
不 我来 我来
No, I got it. I got it.
辛西娅 我跟他们去 好吗？
Cynthia, I'm gonna follow them, okay?
去吧 罗伯
Go, Rob!
我来 我来 -我可以开车送你们 我开
I got it, I got it. -I can drive you. I'll drive.
别担心
Don't worry about it.
对不起
I'm sorry.
呃…
Uh...
嗨 小鸟 -嗨
Hi, Birdie. -Hi.
我家简直疯了
My house has gone insane.
哦 我父母邀请你周六晚上来吃饭
Oh, my parents invited you for dinner Saturday night.
哦 好啊 当然 听起来不错
Oh, yeah. Sure, that sounds great.
是啊 你还是别来了
Yeah, you shouldn't come.
为什么？-实话实说？
Why? -Full disclosure?
他们永远不会当面说
They'd never say it to your face,
但他们不喜欢我们混在一起
but they don't like it when we hang out.
我妈一直做噩梦
My mom's been having terrible nightmares
因为你不符合她为我规划的人生蓝图
'cause you don't figure into her life plan for me.
加上你的 呃…
Plus your, uh...
你的嫂子写了那本书 那本书…
Your sister-in-law wrote that book, which
会勾起他们各种创伤
stirs up all kinds of trauma for them.
哦
Oh.
呃 这是干什么用的？-什…哦
Uh, what's this for? -Wha... Oh.
你永远不知道暴♥力♥会在何时何地升级
You never know when and where violence is gonna escalate.
我挨过1800发催泪瓦斯和900发橡皮子弹
I've taken 1,800 volleys of tear gas and 900 rubber bullets.
是啊 很酷
Yeah, that's cool.
是啊 我知道
Yeah, I know.
嘿
Hey!
嘿 怎么回事？-哦 该死
Hey, what's going on? -Oh, shit!
快走 快走
Go! Go!
好了 谢谢
Okay, thanks.
再见 亲爱的
Bye, honey.
嗯…
Well...
那是辛西娅
that was Cynthia.
莉兹不是要生了
Liz is not in labor.
急诊室医生说那是 呃
The ER doctor said that it was a, uh,
是歇斯底里性膀胱
it was a hysterical bladder.
哦 得了吧…
Oh, come...
你有权生气
You have every right to be upset.
这是漫长而丑陋的一天
It was a long, ugly day.
我几乎不记得他的童年了
I barely remember his childhood.
我是说 我当时在打拼事业 而…
I mean, I was building my career, and...
他很需要关注
he was needy.
我是说 他…
I mean, he was...
他对餐厅从来不感兴趣
he was never interested in the restaurant.
他总是跟着你 你的小项目
He was always with you. Your little pet project.
你们之间有某种默契 我们都感觉到了
There was a synthesis between you. We all felt it.
默契？
Synthesis?
艾伦 你的儿媳要在乔治城大学
Ellen, your daughter-in-law is giving a lecture
你的校园 做讲座
at Georgetown, your campus.
为什么你就不能放下你的骄傲…
Why is it that you can't swallow your pride
去介绍她呢？-那信息…
and just introduce her? -The message...
非常有说服力
is very convincing.
它让我害怕
It terrifies me.
你处理不好不确定性
You don't do well with uncertainty,
猜猜看 现在除了不确定性还有什么？