亚当·桑德勒：100%新鲜（2018）

♪I'm the slow motion man♪
♪在十字路口♪
♪In the crosswalk♪
♪走路速度慢到不行♪
♪Walking just as slow as I can♪
♪过马路时♪
♪Holding up the traffic♪
♪妨碍着交通♪
♪As I walk across the street♪
♪我的腿几乎都♪
♪Hardly even seems♪
♪迈不动♪
♪Like I'm picking up my feet♪
♪我是慢动作先生♪
♪I'm the slow motion man♪
♪在十字路口♪
♪In the crosswalk♪
♪加州法律会保护我♪
♪California laws will protect me♪
♪然后地震来袭♪
♪Then an earthquake hits♪
♪我掉进一个大裂缝♪
♪And I fall deep in a crack♪
♪人人都在欢呼 因为我死了♪
♪And everybody cheers 'cause I'm dead♪
♪慢 慢♪
♪Slow, slow♪
♪我死得好慢♪
♪Dying so slow♪
♪来吧 好♪
♪Come on, right♪
♪没错 感受一下♪
♪That's right, feel that shit♪
♪来吧 爹地♪
♪Come on, Daddy♪
♪跟我一起来 好吗？♪
♪Join in on this motherfucker Would you?♪
♪耶♪
♪Yeah, yeah- yeah, yeah♪
♪开始吧♪
♪So, let's go♪
♪如果你的司机浑身臭味♪
♪My Uber driver smells bad♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪优步司机身上好臭♪
♪Got a smelly Uber driver♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪对 - 浑身臭味的优步司机♪
♪Yeah - A smelly Uber driver♪
♪没错 - 浑身臭味的优步司机♪
♪Yeah, that's right - Got a smelly Uber driver♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪优步司机身上好臭♪
♪Got a smelly Uber driver♪
♪要是你渴了 他有免费矿泉水♪
♪He got a free water If you want a drink drink♪
♪他还有什么♪
♪You know, what else he got♪
♪他有浑身臭味♪
♪He got a stink stink♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味 - 天呐♪
♪Uber driver smells bad - God damn♪
♪怎么回事？♪
♪what the fuck?♪
♪浑身臭味的优步司机 - 对♪
♪Got a smelly Uber driver - Yeah♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪我一进车♪
♪Right when I got inside♪
♪就说道：“啊哦”♪
♪I was like, "Uh- oh"♪
♪这辆本♥田♥思域闻上去♪
♪This Honda Civic smells♪
♪就像我的屁♥眼♥♪
♪Just like a butthole♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味 - 怎么回事？♪
♪Uber driver smells bad - What the fuck? Now, come on♪
♪优步司机身上好臭 - 窗户紧锁♪
♪Got a smelly Uber driver - Locked window♪
♪优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪他很会用谷歌♥地图♪
♪He rock the Google Maps♪
♪很会用车窗贴纸♪
♪He rock the window tint♪
♪唯一不会用的就是除臭剂♪
♪One thing he doesn't rock Is that deodorant♪
♪天呐 赶紧抹点除臭剂吧♪
♪God damn, Speed Stick that shit - Uber driver smells bad♪
♪哦 棉花糖让我性♥欲♥高涨♪
♪Oh, cotton candy making me randy♪
♪多色棒棒…♪
♪Multicolored lolli- -♪
♪怎么回事？ - 优步司机身上好臭♪
♪What the fuck? Come on - Got a smelly Uber driver♪
♪得了吧 - 优步司机浑身臭味♪
♪Uber driver smells bad♪
♪我需要iPhone充电线♪
♪I need the iPhone charged♪
♪我把充电线递过去♪
♪I pass the cord back♪
♪你在洗澡时♪
♪And when you take a bath♪
♪最好洗洗蛋蛋♪
♪Scrub the nutsack♪
♪洗洗蛋蛋 - 怎么回事？♪
♪Scrub your nutsack - What the fuck?♪
♪洗洗蛋蛋 - 这是基本尊重♪
♪Scrub your nutsack - Common courtesy♪
♪这里好多细菌♪
♪This shit got germs♪
♪真不敢相信优步车♪
♪I can't believe the smell♪
♪居然这么臭♪
♪In these Uber cars♪
♪哦 等等 我把屎拉裤子里了♪
♪Oh, wait, I shit my pants♪
♪我要给他打五颗星♪
♪I'll give him five stars♪
♪给他打五颗星♪
♪Give him five stars♪
♪天呐 - 给他打五颗星♪
♪Damn - Give him five stars♪
♪结果臭味是我发出来的♪
♪Turns out the smell was me♪
♪最好给他五颗星♪
♪Better give him five stars♪
♪操♥他♥妈♥的♪
♪Word up, motherfucker, yeah♪
♪哦 棉花糖让我性♥欲♥高涨♪
♪Oh, cotton candy making me randy ♪
♪多色棒棒糖 大块硬糖没完没了♪
♪Multicolor lollipop Gobstopper never stop♪
♪红色服装♪
♪Red attire- -♪
♪我搞砸了 对不起♪
I fucked up. All right, sorry.
♪哦 棉花糖让我性♥欲♥高涨♪
♪ Oh, cotton candy making me randy ♪
♪多色棒棒糖 大块硬糖没完没了♪
♪ Multicolor lollipop Gobstopper never stop ♪
♪丽丝巧克力 查尔斯顿牛皮糖♪
♪ Reese's Pieces, Charleston Chew♪
♪黄油手指 还有士力架♪
♪Butterfinger, Snickers too ♪
♪红色原子火球♪
♪Red Atomic Fireball♪
♪我想全部吃掉♪
♪I want to eat them all♪
♪给我来份绿色的暴风果♪
♪Give me a green Jolly Rancher♪
♪水果太妃 柠檬头♪
♪Laffy Taffy, Lemonhead♪
♪吉百利奶油蛋能孵出小鸡♪
♪Cadbury Eggs will hatch♪
♪酸酸小糖人♪
♪Kids from the Sourpatch♪
♪奶球和瑞典鱼♪
♪Milk Duds and Swedish Fish♪
♪小熊软糖和甘草糖♪
♪Gummy bears and licorice♪
♪如果你有奇巧巧克力 给我来一口♪
♪If you got a Kit Kat I would like a taste of that♪
♪医生说我有糖尿病♪
♪The doctor says I got diabetes♪
♪大声点 俄亥俄的观众♪
♪Yeah, let's hear you, Ohio ♪
♪俄亥俄♪
♪Ohio♪
♪好吧 我们都认识一个 刮胸毛的人♪
♪Well, we all know a guy Who shaves his chest♪
♪我们都认识一个 穿皮背心的人♪
♪We all know a guy Who wears a leather vest♪
♪我们都认识一个 很懂咖啡的人♪
♪We all know a guy Who knows a lot about coffee♪
♪我们都认识一个 见谁都打的人♪
♪We all know a stud Who would fight anyone♪
♪我们都认识一个 把头发盘成髻的傻子♪
♪We all know a fool Who wears his hair in a bun♪
♪我们都认识一个♪
♪We all know a guy♪
♪说自己在12岁时操了小保姆的人♪
♪Who says he fucked his babysitter When he was 12♪
♪嗯 我们都认识一个 古龙水洒得太多的人♪
♪Yeah, we all know a guy Who wears too much cologne♪
♪我们都认识一个嗑药磕嗨时 更好的人♪
♪We all know a guy Who's better when he's stoned♪
♪我们都认识一个抱你老婆 多抱了五秒钟的人♪
♪We all know a guy who hugs your wife Five seconds too long♪
♪我们都认识一个 组乐队的人♪
♪Well, we all know a guy Who's starting a band♪
♪我们都认识一个少只手的人♪
♪We all know a guy who's missing a hand♪
♪我们都认识一个不工作♪
♪We all know a guy who doesn't work♪
♪却每年去两次伊比莎岛的人♪
♪But still goes twice a year to Ibiza♪
♪我们都认识一个 说他差点就成了职业选手的人♪
♪We all know a guy Who said he almost went pro♪
♪我们都认识一个 有着红色爆♥炸♥头的人♪
♪We all know a guy with a red afro♪
♪我们都认识一个 鸡鸡的颜色和身体其他部位不符的人♪
♪We all know a guy who's dick color Doesn't match his body♪
♪我们都认识一个 头发看上去总是湿的人♪
♪We all know a guy Whose hair always looks wet♪
♪我们都认识一个 拿猪当宠物的人♪
♪We all know a guy with a pig as a pet♪
♪我们都认识一个 认识一个说自己认识♪
♪We all know a guy who knows a guy♪
♪盖伊菲耶里的人的人♪
♪Who says he knows Guy Fieri♪
♪我们都认识一个 有着古怪过敏源的人♪
♪And we all know a guy With weird allergies♪
♪我们都认识一个 喷嚏要连打三声的人♪
♪We all know a guy Who sneezes in threes♪
♪所以我们为什么不知道♪
♪So how come we don't know♪
♪我的亲爹是谁？♪
♪Who my real father is?♪
♪你说我错了♪
♪You tell me I'm wrong♪
♪但我知道我是对的♪
♪But I know I'm right♪
♪你说 “妈的不可能”♪
♪You say, "No fucking way"♪
♪但我坚持说我是对的♪
♪But I insist that I'm right♪
♪所以我拿出手♥机♥♪
♪So I pull out my phone♪
♪查了查♪
♪And I look it up♪
♪立即发现我错了♪
♪I right away see I was wrong♪
♪但我假装没找到答案♪
♪But I pretend I can't find the answer♪
♪所以我假装我还在查询♪
♪So I fake like I'm still looking♪
♪你说：“谁对了？”♪
♪And you say, "So who's right?"♪
♪我说：“我的手♥机♥好烂”♪
♪I say, "My phone sucks"♪
♪然后怪罪AT&T的信♥号♥♥不好♪
♪And blame AT&T reception♪
♪然后你开始查询♪
♪Then you start to look it up♪
♪我抓起你的手♥机♥♪
♪So I just grab your phone♪
♪扔进一杯冰茶里♪
♪And drop it into a glass of iced tea♪
♪一个小人躲在树上♪
♪One is a little guy hiding in a tree♪
♪两个人一起在大海游泳♪
♪Two are together And they're swimming out to sea♪
♪三个人坐在摩天轮上 四个人在动物园里♪
♪Three on a Ferris wheel Four at the zoo♪
♪五个人在我口袋里♪