亚当·桑德勒：100%新鲜（2018）

♪My Zippo lighter, my charge pack♪
♪我的墨镜 我的发胶♪
♪My sunglasses, my hairspray♪
♪我的耳机 - 是Beats by Dre牌的♪
♪My headphones - They're Beats by Dre♪
♪我的笔记本 我的GoPro 我的电子烟 我的十字弓♪
♪My notebook, my GoPro My vape pen, my crossbow♪
♪我的牙签 我的小折刀♪
♪My toothpick, my pocket knife♪
♪哦 操 我忘了我老婆♪
♪Oh, fuck, I forgot my wife♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙 - 操♪
♪Phone, wallet, keys - God damn♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Phone, wallet, keys♪
♪以前没这么复杂的♪
♪It used to be so easy♪
♪有了我的手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪With my phone, my wallet And my keys- ee♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙 手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Phone, wallet, keys, yeah Phone, wallet, keys♪
♪一切曾经很简单♪
♪It used to be a breez- ee♪
♪有了我的手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪With my phone, my wallet And my keys- ee♪
♪我的口袋变得好重♪
♪My pockets got so heavy Now♪
♪现在我抽筋了 抽筋了♪
♪I'm cramping, I'm cramping♪
♪每回我离开家 我都好像要去宿营 宿营♪
♪Each time I leave my house It's like I'm camping, I'm camping♪
♪我好痛苦 我走来走去♪
♪I'm miserable, just standing around♪
♪我就像一个移♥动♥人形失物招领♪
♪I'm like a walking lost and found♪
♪你知道 我宁愿呆在家里♪
♪You know I'd rather stay at home♪
♪在那里 我他妈只需要手♥机♥♪
♪Where all I need's my fucking phone♪
♪手♥机♥ 手♥机♥ 手♥机♥♪
♪Phone, phone, phone♪
♪哟 - 手♥机♥ 手♥机♥ 手♥机♥♪
♪Yeah - Phone, phone, phone♪
♪在家要开心得多♪
♪Much happier at home♪
♪玩手♥机♥就好♪
♪Just playing with my phone♪
♪手♥机♥ 手♥机♥ 手♥机♥ - 哟♪
♪Phone, phone, phone - Yeah♪
♪手♥机♥ 手♥机♥ 手♥机♥♪
♪Phone, phone, phone♪
♪耶 我呆在家里就好♪
♪Yeah, I'll just stay at home♪
♪在厕所上玩手♥机♥♪
♪And fiddle with my phone on the toilet♪
♪他是个健壮的小伙♪
♪He's a very strong lad♪
♪但他好多年都没上♥床♥了♪
♪But he hasn't been laid in years♪
♪因为这个健壮又英俊的小伙♪
♪Because the strong and handsome lad♪
♪有一对难看的摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Has a terrible case of UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears, UFC ears♪
♪花椰菜摔跤 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Cauliflower wrestling, UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears, UFC ears♪
♪肿胀而变形的摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Swollen and disfigured UFC ears♪
♪他可以在喝完30罐啤酒后♪
♪He can beat you in the Octagon♪
♪在八角场打败你♪
♪Afterwards drink 30 beers♪
♪这还是改变不了残酷的事实♪
♪But that doesn't change The horrible fact♪
♪他还有一对摔跤手耳朵♪
♪He also has a case of UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears, UFC ears♪
♪他的摔跤手耳朵伤有个小小的洞♪
♪Tiny little holes in his UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears, UFC ears♪
♪没法不去看摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Can't stop looking at those UFC ears♪
♪重型拳击手鼻子稀烂♪
♪Heavyweight boxers get the broken nose♪
♪芭蕾舞演员脚趾难看♪
♪Ballet dancers Have those fucked up toes♪
♪棒球大联盟投手都有大胡子♪
♪MLB pitchers all have crazy beards♪
♪但我不敢相信那帮家伙 没法听到声音♪
♪But I can't believe these guys Can fucking hear♪
♪带着那对摔跤手耳朵♪
♪With those UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears♪
♪肿胀而恶心的摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Puffy and disturbing UFC ears♪
♪摔跤手耳朵 摔跤手耳朵♪
♪UFC ears, that's right, UFC ears♪
♪他每晚哭泣 因为他有摔跤手耳朵♪
♪Cries himself to sleep He's got UFC ears♪
♪在今晚的演出之后♪
♪Now, after the show tonight♪
♪我会泪流满面 浑身颤抖♪
♪I'll be shaking With cheeks wet with tears♪
♪因为他会找到我♪
♪Because he's going to find me♪
♪然后打爆我的头♪
♪And beat my fucking head in♪
♪大声喊着：“欢迎来到 摔跤手耳朵俱乐部”♪
♪Screaming, "Welcome to the club Of UFC ears"♪
♪耳朵♪
♪Ears♪
♪耳朵♪
♪Ears♪
♪耳朵♪
♪Ears♪
♪耳朵♪
♪Ears♪
♪我刷牙的时候 你在镜子里♪
♪You're giving me a strange look In the mirror♪
♪对我怪怪地看了一眼♪
♪As I brush my teeth♪
♪我不知道我做错了什么♪
♪I don't know What I could have done wrong♪
♪因为我刚刚才醒过来♪
♪'Cause I literally just woke up♪
♪也许你梦见我出轨了♪
♪Maybe you had a dream That I cheated on you♪
♪或者你想起来我曾经 说过的狠话♪
♪Or you remember something mean I said♪
♪两年前说的那种♪
♪Like two fucking years ago♪
♪我只知道 这一整天♪
♪All I know is that all day long♪
♪都会变得很古怪♪
♪It's gonna be weird♪
♪如坐针毡♪
♪Eggshells♪
♪她他妈干吗一言不发地经过 我身边？♪
♪Why the hell is she walking past me Without talking?♪
♪如坐针毡♪
♪Eggshells♪
♪我跟她说她头发很美♪
♪I told her her hair looked good♪
♪却把事情搞得更砸♪
♪And that somehow made things worse♪
♪如坐针毡♪
♪Eggshells♪
♪当她接起电♥话♥ 她和声细语♪
♪When she picks up the phone She uses a nice voice♪
♪但挂了电♥话♥ 声音却冷漠无比♪
♪But when she hangs up It's back to fucking monotone♪
♪如坐针毡♪
♪Eggshells♪
♪我看到你在厨房♥读一本书♪
♪I see you're reading a book In the kitchen♪
♪但她妈的45分钟都没翻一页♪
♪But she hasn't turned a page In 45 fucking minutes♪
♪如坐针毡♪
♪Eggshells♪
♪然后我意识到我昨天说♪
♪Then I realize I said yesterday♪
♪我要开始和她一起散步♪
♪I'd start going on walks with her♪
♪但我说这话时♪
♪But I didn't say it♪
♪语气不够有激♥情♥♪
♪With enough enthusiasm♪
♪哦，哦，哦，哦♪
♪Unh, unh, unh, unh ♪
♪哦 耶♪
♪Oh, yeah♪
♪感觉好棒♪
♪Feels so good♪
♪闻着你的身体♪
♪Kiss your body♪
♪来吧 咱们亲热一下♪
♪Come on, let's get naughty♪
♪我们正来着兴致♪
♪Now we're in the groove♪
♪身体疯狂摇摆 她的小腹开始移♥动♥♪
♪Rocking so hard Her belly's starting to move, yeah♪
♪我要给你们看看是什么样的♪
♪I'm gonna show you how♪
♪这个世界上没什么能阻止我们♪
♪Nothing in the world's Gonna stop us now♪
♪所以咱们一起忽视那个 疯狂的阴♥道♥屁吧♪
♪So let's both ignore That crazy pussy fart♪
♪外太空今天很冷♪
♪It's awfully cold in outer space today♪
♪地球只是粒小尘埃♪
♪The earth is just a tiny speck♪
♪一百万英里之外♪
♪A million miles away♪
♪我在黑暗中漂浮♪
♪I'm floating through the darkness♪
♪什么也看不见♪
♪There's nothing much to see♪
♪我身边只有一个♪
♪And a Cosmonaut named Yuri♪
♪叫作尤里的宇航员♪
♪Is the only one with me♪
♪如今我们失去了重力♪
♪Now we're in zero gravity♪
♪一圈圈旋转着♪
♪Just spinning round and round♪
♪紧接着 我右侧朝上♪
♪The next thing you know I'm right side up♪
♪而尤里身体倒挂♪
♪And Yuri's upside down♪
♪我的鸡鸡不小心进了他的嘴♪
♪My penis accidentally goes In his mouth♪
♪他的鸡鸡不小心进了我的嘴♪
♪His penis accidentally goes in mine♪
♪没错 只是69号♥太空站的♪
♪Yes, it's just another accident♪
♪又一场意外♪
♪On Station 69♪
♪外太空今天特别冷♪
♪It's awfully cold In outer space tonight♪
♪我给地球发去信息♪
♪I sent a message back to Earth♪
♪报平安♪
♪To tell them we're all right, yes♪
♪我查看了望远镜♪
♪I check the telescopes♪
♪寻找要修的仪器♪
♪And look for instruments to fix♪
♪但我最喜欢太空的地方♪
♪But my favorite part of space♪
♪还是我们彼此吮吸的鸡鸡♪
♪Is when we suck each other's dicks♪
♪我们绕着圈子旋转♪
♪We're spinning around in circles♪
♪感觉好棒♪
♪And it feels very nice♪
♪当我们亲吻彼此的龟♥头♥♪
♪When we kiss each other's penis tips♪
♪感觉像上了天堂♪
♪It seems like paradise♪
♪我们以光速旅行♪
♪We're travelling in light speed♪
♪这是一次星际之旅♪
♪It's an intergalactic ride ♪
♪我们曾经有个猴子♪
♪Well, we used to have a monkey♪
♪但我把它操♥死♥了♪
♪But I fucked it till it died♪
♪对 我们的周围毫无重力♪
♪Yes, we're in zero gravity♪
♪就这么转着 转着♪
♪Just spinning round and round♪
♪紧接着 我右侧朝上♪
♪The next thing you know I'm right- side up♪
♪而我身体倒挂♪