亚当·桑德勒：100%新鲜（2018）

♪Then I wrap my arms Around Grandma's chest♪
♪紧盯着她的眼睛♪
♪And I look her grandkids Deep in the eyes♪
♪很快…♪
♪Then right away...♪
♪很快我就弄断了她的所有肋骨♪
♪Then right away I break all her ribs♪
♪因为我不知道自己在干啥♪
♪Because I don't know what I'm doing♪
♪十三岁生日♪
♪Thirteenth birthday♪
♪人们从远处赶来♪
♪People come from far away♪
♪叔叔和阿姨纷纷到场♪
♪Aunts and uncles show up♪
♪我把卷发梳了起来♪
♪I brush my fro up♪
♪我感觉很不安♪
♪Feeling skittish♪
♪人们说着意第绪语♪
♪People speaking Yiddish♪
♪我买♥♥了诡异的西装和领带♪
♪Buy a freaky suit and tie♪
♪裁缝的手伸进了我的大腿♪
♪Tailor's hanging on my thigh♪
♪我练习了一整年♪
♪Practice for the whole year♪
♪害怕得不得动弹♪
♪Paralyzed with fear♪
♪我的墙上贴着希伯来语的记忆卡♪
♪Hebrew flash cards on my walls♪
♪我的声音变了 鼓起勇气♪
♪Voice is changing, dropped my balls♪
♪爸爸为花费大怒不已♪
♪Dad's mad at the cost♪
♪真不幸 妈妈才是一家之主♪
♪Too bad Mom's the boss♪
♪奶奶满心欢喜♪
♪Grandmas are full of joy♪
♪为了成人礼男孩♪
♪For the Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪在讲台上♪
♪Okay, up on the podium♪
♪我盯着所有人♪
♪I'm staring out at everyone♪
♪不记得当时情况如何♪
♪Can't remember how it goes♪
♪我的拉比鼻子里发出哨声♪
♪Whistle from my rabbi's nose♪
♪哦 天呐 就这样吧♪
♪Oh, man, this is it♪
♪我编了些不着边际的东西♪
♪Make up some crazy shit♪
♪不拉阿塔啊嚓嚓嚓♪
♪Baruch atah, a cha- cha- cha♪
♪大家都说“干得好”♪
♪Everybody says, "Good job"♪
♪终于说完了 我如释重负♪
♪Now I'm done, sweet relief♪
♪妈妈的牙齿上沾了口红♪
♪Lipstick on Mama's teeth♪
♪信天主教的朋友都问我♪
♪Catholic friends all ask me this♪
♪“犹太馅饼是个啥？”♪
♪"What the fuck is a knish?"♪
♪孩子们都跑进来♪
♪Kids are all coming in♪
♪支票、债权、自来水笔♪
♪Checks and bonds and fountain pens♪
♪往银行里存钱♪
♪Make a bank deposit♪
♪在衣柜里亲热♪
♪Make out in the closet♪
♪他是犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪He's the Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪拉比跳着滑步舞♪
♪The rabbi does the Electric Slide♪
♪奶奶的屁♥股♥有六英尺宽♪
♪Grandma's ass is six feet wide♪
♪派对的音乐一直继续♪
♪Party music never stops♪
♪我的所有朋友都喝起了杜松子酒♪
♪All my friends drinking schnapps♪
♪男孩们很矮 女孩们很高♪
♪Boys are short, girls are tall♪
♪把酒递给我♪
♪Pass me the alcohol♪
♪我没了命似的痛饮♪
♪Chug as much as I can♪
♪吐在犹太民乐队员的身上♪
♪Vomit on the klezmer band♪
♪爸爸妈妈冲我大吼大叫♪
♪Mom and Dad yell at me♪
♪这让我们的家人担忧不已♪
♪This strains my family♪
♪我是个男人 所以我不在乎♪
♪But I'm a man, so I don't care♪
♪我长出了第一撮唇须♪
♪Got my first mustache hair♪
♪我是犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪I'm the Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪犹太成人礼男孩♪
♪Bar Mitzvah boy♪
♪而这是我人生中最棒的一天♪
♪And it's the best day of my life♪
♪直到三年后♪
♪Until three years later♪
♪当我的父母不让我继续 去寺庙♪
♪When my parents stop Making me go to temple♪
♪耶 耶 耶♪
♪Yeah. Yeah. Yeah♪
♪又来了♪
♪Here we go again♪
♪来吧♪
♪Come on♪
♪我出门♪
♪I'm heading out♪
♪身上带着♪
♪And all I'm taking with me♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Is my phone, wallet, keys♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Yeah, phone, wallet, keys♪
♪只用带这三件东西♪
♪Just those three things,♪
♪需要我的手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪please Need my phone, wallet, keys♪
♪钱包里有信♥用♥卡♥♪
♪Got my credit cards in my wallet♪
♪手♥机♥用来接电♥话♥♪
♪Got my phone, you can call it♪
♪钥匙用来锁大门♪
♪Masterlock on my front door♪
♪钥匙他妈就是用来干这个的♪
♪That's what my motherfucking keys Are for♪
♪我的手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪My phone, wallet, keys♪
♪耶 手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Yeah, phone, wallet, keys♪
♪好事总成三♪
♪Good things come in threes♪
♪需要我的手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪I Need my phone, wallet, keys♪
♪如果我要去动物园♪
♪If I'm going to the zoo ♪
♪我需要手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪I Need my phone, wallet, keys♪
♪如果我要在脸上纹身♪
♪If I'm getting a face tattoo♪
♪我需要手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪I need my phone, wallet, keys♪
♪如果我要参加婚礼♪
♪If I'm going out to a wedding♪
♪而婚礼在冬季 我浑身大汗♪
♪If it's winter time and I'm sledding♪
♪如果我在父女舞会上♪
♪If I'm at the Daddy- Daughter dance♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙在裤子里♪
♪My phone, wallet, keys are in my pants♪
♪我要去西印度群岛旅游♪
♪I'm going on vacation To the West Indies♪
♪身上没带行李♪
♪And I don't got no luggage♪
♪只带了手♥机♥、钱包、钥匙♪
♪Just got phone, wallet, keys♪
♪我来到机场♪
♪I roll on up to the airport♪
♪一位女士向我要护照♪
♪Lady asks for my passport♪
♪我猜我需要手♥机♥、钱包 护照、钥匙♪
♪Guess I need my phone Wallet, passport, keys♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、护照、钥匙♪
♪Phone, wallet, passport, keys♪
♪现在我需要四件东西 得了吧 婊♥子♥♪
♪Now I need four things, bitch, please♪
♪手♥机♥、钱包、护照、钥匙♪
♪Phone, wallet, passport, keys♪
♪我终于上了飞机♪
♪I'm finally on the plane♪
♪我乘的是达美航♥空♥ 达美♪
♪I'm riding Delta, Delta♪
♪身旁坐的女人放屁了♪
♪The lady farted next to me♪
♪我闻到了 我闻到了♪
♪I smelled her, I smelled her♪
♪飞机飞到三万英尺的高空♪
♪We get to 30,000 feet♪
♪我把靠背向后调♪
♪I recline my fucking seat♪
♪打算看部电影 等等♪
♪About to watch a movie, stop♪
♪我忘了我的笔记本电脑♪
♪I forgot my laptop♪
♪妈的♪
♪Mm, motherfucker♪
♪操♪
♪Damn it♪
♪现在我需要笔记本电脑 手♥机♥、钱包、护照、钥匙♪
♪Now I need my laptop Phone, wallet, passport, keys♪
♪笔记本电脑、手♥机♥、钱包 护照、钥匙♪
♪Laptop, phone, wallet, passport, keys♪
♪东西太多了 这他妈有五件了♪
♪Too much shit, five fucking things♪
♪电脑、手♥机♥、钱包 护照、钥匙♪
♪Laptop, phone, wallet, passport, keys♪
♪我把东西舞得到处都是♪
♪I'm swinging my shit all over the place♪
♪我伤了你 我伤了你♪
♪I'm hurting ya, I'm hurting ya♪
♪我带了太多东西♪
♪I'm carrying so much shit♪
♪我有疝气 疝气♪
♪I got a hernia, a hernia♪
♪没处可放 我该怎么办♪
♪No place to put it, what can I do?♪
♪要是带了我的iPad就好了♪
♪Probably should take my iPad too♪
♪我他妈还忘了什么？♪
♪What the fuck else did I forget?♪
♪桑德勒 你需要好多东西♪
♪Sandman, you need tons of shit♪
♪我私藏的饼干 我的背包♪
♪My Tic Tacs, my backpack♪
♪我的芝宝打火机 我的充电宝♪