麦克斯无法适应兰迪的人生
Okay, Max, here are the paint chips for our new dessert bar.
麦克斯 这是我们甜品吧的油漆颜色图
Don't eat them. This isn't your childhood.
别吃掉 这不是你的童年
These are all pink.
全都是粉色
You want the walls of our bar to be all pink?
你希望我们甜品吧的墙是粉色吗
It'll be the first time someone drinks
来店里喝酒顾客大概会是
after they enter a vagina.
史上首次进"阴♥道"里喝酒的人吧
Oh, hey... no vagina in the dina.
餐厅里不许出现"阴♥道"二字
Or your apartment. Ever.
你的公寓里也没有出现过"阴♥道"
You know, this isn't Hooters.
这里不是女服务员卖肉餐厅
The v-bomb isn't usually batted around the workplace.
那种字眼通常不会随便出现在公共场合
Speaking of batting things around,
说到随便出现
our cat wants you to come over again.
我家喵星人想你再来一趟
Yesterday you said your cat
昨天你才说你家喵星人
was too cool to hang out with me.
太霸气 不屑与我为伍
So which is it?
所以到底是怎么样
'Cause I am free tonight.
因为我今晚还真的有空
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
You know what today is?
你们知道今天是什么日子吗
I hope it ain't the 15th,
希望不是15号
'cause that means I missed dialysis.
因为那意味着我错过做透析了
No, I'm 20 weeks preggers.
不是啦 是我怀孕满20周了
And it's time for Oleg and I to choose the godparents.
是时候我和奥列格为孩子选干爹妈了
You know, it's an old Polish tradition.
这是我们波兰的一个老传统之一
Like pierogies and public hangings.
就像波兰饺子与绞刑示众
Godparents?
干爹妈[上帝父母]吗
God didn't even give me parents-parents.
上帝连真的爹妈都没给过我
He just gave me some lady that took me home from the hospital
他只给了我用影带出租店塑料袋
in a Blockbuster Video bag.
把我从医院装回家的女人
It's a big decision.
这是个重大决定
You have to pick a couple who would raise the child
因为你得选一对跟你有相同信仰与价值观的
with your beliefs and values.
夫妇来当干爹妈
And Hugh Hefner and whoever he's banging
但《花♥花♥公♥子》的老板和他的小蜜
already said no.
已经拒绝了我们
Yeah, so I'm making a list.
所以我在列张候选人表
But Oleg doesn't want anyone in prison.
但奥列格不想要在监狱的人
You know, so that knocks out most of the women in my family.
所以我家族里的女人基本都被淘汰出局了
You know, you guys could also have
你们俩也可以在家
these conversations at home.
讨论这些话题啊
But this counter is where they made the baby.
但这个台子就是他们造人的地方
Hey, Earl.
你好啊 厄尔
Oh, good, I need somebody strong.
太好了 我正需要一名壮汉帮忙
Uh, would you carry this over there,
能麻烦你把这个搬到那里
put some coffee in it,
然后往里面加点咖啡
and bring it back to me?
然后再搬回来给我吗
I'll hot this up in a second.
我很快就帮你搞定
Just let me hot this one up first.
先等我把这妞搞定就行
What're you doing here?
你来干嘛呢
I know you don't like me to bother you during your free time,
我知道你不喜欢我在你闲暇时间烦你
but I missed you.
但我想你了
And I want to tell you something in person.
而且我有事情想当面对你说
Well, whatever it is, I probably have it too.
无论是什么"病" 我估计也有
And I probably had it first.
而且估计比你早就染上了
It's not that.
不是这种事
But now I'm worried.
但你说完我开始担心了
No, I met with this law firm in Manhattan,
我跟一家在曼哈顿的律师事务所谈了
and they want to make me a partner.
他们想让我成为合伙人
They're making you a partner?
他们要让你成为合伙人[伴侣]吗
Well, then they're gonna catch it too.
那估计他们也会"染上"了
So, Randy,
兰迪
you really are a lawyer?
你真的是律师啊
I thought you just played lawyers in gay porn.
我还以为你只是在基佬黄♥片里演过律师
Thanks.
谢谢
I will tell my trainer.
我会告诉我的健身教练
He was in gay porn.
他倒是真拍过基佬黄♥片
Hey, Buzz Lightyear,
巴斯光年
I'm still waiting for that coffee.
我还在等那杯咖啡呢
All right, well, I'll be in my booth
好啦 我去我的卡座坐了
working on my godparent list.
继续弄我的干爹妈列表
And whoever we pick should be like one of those
我们最后选的人
perfect families on TV like, well, the Brady's,
一定会像电视上的完美家庭 比如《脱线家族》
1969年-1974年的热播喜剧《The Brady's Bunch》 and the Huxtables... 《天才老爹》
84-92年热播的情景喜剧《The Cosby Show》《我爱我家》的导演就是受此剧的启发而拍摄
Or, you know what? Scratch that last one.
算了 最后这部不要[主角为黑人一家]
Wow, if you're considering moving to New York,
如果你真的考虑要搬来纽约
it must be a pretty good job.
那个工作铁定很不错吧
Well, there's a couple other reasons.
还有一些其他原因
The bagels.
好吃的百吉饼
I have tickets to Hamilton in seven years.
百老汇音乐剧《汉密尔顿》七年的票
And there's this girl here I kind of like.
外加这里有个我还算喜欢的姑娘
Who is she? I'll kill her.
她是谁 我去宰了她
So two of the partners want to take me out tomorrow night
其中两个合伙人明晚想带我
to some fancy private dinner at someplace called Beak.
去一家名叫"喙"的高档私人餐厅
You're going to Beak?
你要去"喙"吗
It's hidden away in a private apartment,
这餐厅隐藏在一间私人公寓里
practically under the Williamsburg Bridge,
就在威廉斯堡大桥的下方
so you pretty much have to walk.
所以基本上得走去
How awful and chic is that?
真是太糟糕太时髦了
I read in Time Out that that place is so exclusive,
我在杂志上读到 那地方特隐秘
it's technically not even a restaurant.
基本上都算不上是家餐厅了
Big deal.
有啥了不起
This diner gets called "Not a restaurant" all the time.
这家餐厅也总被人说"算不上餐厅"啊
Hey, did they tell you to just bring Max,
他们有说只能带麦克斯吗
or was it more of a "bring whoever"?
还是随便你带人
I'll take that as a yes.
我就当是可以随便带人了
I'd love to join you at Beak tomorrow night.
我十分乐意明天加入你们在"喙"的晚餐
How could I say no to Beak?
我怎么拒绝的了"喙"的诱惑
It's spring, so that's peak Beak.
春日时光 "喙"
So you want to go?
你想去吗
Want to be my date?
想当我的女伴吗
Nah, pass.
表要 我不去
Fancy restaurants are one of the three things I don't do.
三样我不愿意干的事情中 高档餐厅是一样
You know the other two.
另外两样你懂的
Didn't we blow past those week one?
我们不是第一周的时候就全"干"了吗
Max, are you crazy?
麦克斯 你疯了吗
Why, is one of my pupils getting all small?
为啥 我的其中一个瞳孔又缩小了吗
It happens now. I don't know why.
它现在无缘无故就这样 我也不知道为什么
What was that out there?
你刚才是在干嘛
"Nah, pass."
"表要 我不去"
Randy's not just asking you to dinner-dinner.
兰迪不仅仅是单纯邀请你去吃饭
This isn't about food.
重点不是食物
It's about your future together.
是你们在一起的未来
He's moving here for you.
他要为你搬来这里
You just "Naw pass" -ed on Randy.
而你说"表要 我不去"拒绝了兰迪
Weird, I didn't love your impression the first time,
怪了 你第一次模仿我时我不喜欢
but I loved it the second.
但第二次我超喜欢呢
Randy's moving here for a job.
兰迪搬来是因为工作
This dinner isn't about some law partners.
这顿饭主题不是什么律师合伙人
It's about you and him as partners.
而是你和他要"合伙"了
Do you hear words I don't?
是我有漏听他说了什么话吗
You're going to that dinner, young lady,
那顿晚餐你必须得去 小姑娘
end of discussion.
别争了
Oh, that was so mom-ish!
这话好有妈妈范儿啊
I wouldn't know. I've never met one.
我不知道 我没见过妈
Oh, good, this is it.
太好了 是这里
We knocked on another apartment door,
我们敲错了另一家的门
but the only thing they were cooking was meth.
他们唯一在做的东西是冰♥毒
We walked across a bridge for this?
我们徒步走过大桥就为了这个吗
This is basically my apartment,
这跟我的公寓唯一差别是
except our wild birds are alive.
我家的野鸟都是活的
Randy, you made it.
兰迪 你成功啦
And I mean, you made it because you're eating at Beak.
不是说功成名就 是说你成功能在这吃饭
I mean, the wait list here is longer
排队要吃这里的名单
than an episode of HBO's Vinyl.
比又臭又长的HBO剧《黑胶时代》还长
Max, this is Marissa, one of the partners.
麦克斯 这位是玛丽莎 其中一位合伙人
Marissa, this is Max.
玛丽莎 这位是麦克斯
She's my girlfriend.
她是我女朋友
Max? Cute.
麦克斯吗 这名字挺好
Is that short for Maxine?
是麦克儿欣恩的短称吗
Technically, it's long for "Meh."
其实应该是"咩"的长称
Sorry, I don't get it.
抱歉 没懂你意思
Probably because of the Klonopin I had to take
可能是我吃了镇静剂
when that homeless man tried to talk to me on the way in.
因为刚才在来的路上 有流浪汉想跟我说话
Uh, Max, this is Leila, another partner at the firm,
麦克斯 这位是蕾拉 事务所另一位合伙人
and her wife, Lei.
还有她夫人 蕾
She's not just my wife.
她不止是我夫人
She's also a star on Instagram.
还是图片分享网的网红
See? I talk about your accomplishments.
你看 我也跟别人说你的成就啊
I put wigs on statues
我给雕像戴假发
and then photograph them from behind.
然后从背后给它们拍照
That's it?
就这样吗
That's it.
就这样
Max...
麦克斯
are you a lawyer too?
你也是律师吗
Uh, no, but I presided over a food court or two in my day.
不是 但我也曾负责过一两个饮食区[食物法庭]
Max and her partner, Caroline,
麦克斯与她的同伴 卡洛琳
are in the process of opening a dessert bar.
正在筹备开一家甜品吧
And I don't mean "partner" in the romantic sense.
她那个"同伴"指的不是情侣的那种
I've got that department covered.
这部分是我的地盘
Well, welcome, Randy and Max.
欢迎你们 兰迪与麦克斯
You know, I've been hoping to add another
我一直希望我们事务所的小团体中
straight couple to the law firm mix,
能多一对异性恋情侣
but, you know, they're so hard to find nowadays.
但这年头这真是不好找
Lei and I met on an
蕾跟我是在
Orange is the New Black message board.
《女子监狱》的留言板认识的
知名美剧 剧中有各种监狱拉拉情
It's kind of become the lesbian Tinder.
那留言板有点类似拉拉的约炮软件
Uh, Randy, wasn't there rumor of a third?
兰迪 你好像说还有第三个人吗
Oh, I keep pitching that,
我一直跟他这么建议
but he "likes me too much."
但他"太爱我一个人"
Again, don't quite get it.
抱歉 我又没懂
Little hazy.
吃了药有些晕
Well, I'll have to tell the chef he's preparing
我得去告诉大厨 因为他就准备了
oyster foam for six.
六人份的蚝泡
I'm sorry, "Oyster foam"?
抱歉什么"蚝泡"
Foam from an oyster?
蚝的泡沫吗
That sounds delicious.
听起来就"好吃"啊
I know your idea of fine dining
我知道你所认为的高级料理
is a ham and cheese Hot Pocket,
是芝士火腿馅饼
but I am really glad you came.
但我真的很高兴你能来
Oh, here's Lenin.
这位是列宁
Um, Randy, Max, this is Lenin.
兰迪 麦克斯 这位是列宁
He's the chef. And my lover.
他是这里的厨师 也是我爱人
We have sex too.
我们也啪啪啪啊
Lei and I are "post sex."
我跟蕾是"后性♥爱"
All intimacy, no penetration.
各种亲密 但是不"进出"
I'll be serving a meal of seven bird-themed courses,
等会我将会上七道禽类主题的餐点
each one it's own unique flight of fancy.
每一道都含有独特的飞行幻想
Not my words, a very giggly Anderson Cooper.
不是我的话 是咯咯笑的帅哥名主播说的
Now, before we begin, do either of you
在我们开始前 你们两个人
have any food allergies?
有对任何食物过敏吗
Just one, birds.
就一种东西 禽类
I don't get her, either.
我也不懂她
Let's all sit.
大家请坐
Max.
麦克斯
Why do you want me to sit that far from the table?
你为什么想要我坐得远离桌子
That's me being polite.
这是有礼的举动
You are in for such a treat.
你们这趟绝对不枉此行
Lenin is a real artist.
列宁是个真正的艺术家
He spends all day making these
他整天醉心于制作这些
teeny-tiny, delicate little meals,
屁点儿大又好吃的小料理
which is why I pay our rent.
所以房租都得我来付
Our first course is a French delicacy.
我们第一道菜是法国佳肴
The Ortolan Bunting bird, roasted and eaten whole.
鸟名为"圃鹀" 烤熟了 可整只吃
Just grasp the bird by its head and start eating at the feet.
抓住它的头 从脚部开始吃吧
Enjoy. Obviously.
好好享受 肯定的
Can't wait to get that bird foot in my mouth.
真是"等不及"把那鸟脚放进我嘴里呢
How's the baby pigeon and oyster foam, Max?
麦克斯 乳鸽跟耗泡如何
Oh, delicious.
太好吃了
It's amazing how full babies can make you.
真没想到鸟宝宝也能让人这么饱
No, Lei, way too many photos of me eating foam.
别拍了 蕾 拍太多我吃泡沫的照片了
Like a rabid dog.
我就像口吐白沫的狂犬病狗
Oh, good. This is it.
太好了 是这里
The guy who opened the other apartment door
刚才我敲错门 开门的人
wasn't wearing pants.
没穿裤子
Or underwear.
也没穿内♥裤
Or was circumcised.
也没有割包皮
Hi! I'm here.
我到了
What did I miss?
我错过[没懂]什么了
The point of literally every movie we see together.
我们看过的每一部电影的中心思想
Marissa, this is Caroline, Max's business partner.
玛丽莎 这是卡洛琳 麦克斯的生意伙伴
She texted she was coming.
她发过短信说她会来
She's usually not covered in this much sweat.
她通常不会这么大汗淋漓
Sorry, I had to run across the bridge,
抱歉 我是跑步跑过大桥
'cause you need a credit card for one of those city bikes.
因为公共自行车需要有信用卡才能租用
Um, if I had a credit card,
如果我都有信用卡了
why would I be riding a damn bike?
我为毛还要骑自行车啊
I'm at Beak. I'm trendy again!
我来到"喙" 姐又时尚了
Fifth course.
第五道菜
Tiny poached noisy scrubbird with fiddle ferns
小嘈杂薮鸟配蕨菜
and fermented egg.
外加皮蛋
Oh, that sounds so gross. I bet it's great.
听起来就好恶心 一定很好吃
Max, eat.
麦克斯 吃啊
I sure will.
会的会的
When I used to watch Tweety Bird,
小时候看卡通崔弟鸟时
all I could think was, "God, that looks delicious."
我一直都是想着"它一定很好吃"
You're doing great.
你已经做得很好了
Who wants some more wine?
谁要再来点酒
I'm guessing Max.
我猜麦克斯想要
I can't believe we're here,
真不敢相信我们在这里
eating the finest... what'd he say this was?
吃着最上等的... 他说这是啥鸟
Blue jay?
冠蓝鸦吗
Aren't you proud of me?
你不为我骄傲吗
I got through the first four courses.
我成功撑过了四道菜[门课]呢
That's more courses than I finished in high school.
我高中都没撑过这么多门课
Oh, look at this pretentious,
瞧瞧这做作
deliberately relaxed large napkin.
故意随意摆放的大餐巾
Love it and hate it.
真是让人又爱又恨
What is that?
那是什么
This first four courses!
前面四道菜
I cheated, like in high school!
跟在高中一样 我作弊了
I couldn't eat it; it's gross.
我吃不下去 太恶心了
No, gross is when you hand the guy at Del Taco
不 你给墨西哥卷饼店那家伙65美分
65 cents and tell him to surprise you.
让他给你的惊喜 那才叫"恶心"
You are judging me for not eating most of my
你居然因为我不愿吃每周六上午
Saturday morning cartoon lineup?
我爱看的卡通人物而批评我
You want to chomp down on Foghorn Leghorn?
你想咬一口大公鸡莱亨吗
华纳卡通人物
When a great guy like Randy is moving to New
York for you,
当像兰迪这么棒的男人为了你而搬来纽约
yes, you have to eat your childhood favorites!
你必须硬着头皮 把你童年的最爱吃下去
Anyone like to come see the de-spining
谁先过来看怎么把小喇叭鸟
of the tiny trumpeter bird?
的脊椎抽掉吗
This could push me over a million followers.
这没准会让我粉丝突破一百万
I can't eat that, Caroline.
我吃不下去 卡洛琳
And I have nowhere to put it.
现在我也没有地方塞了
My bra is at crazy capacity.
我的胸罩已经超载了
The fire marshal almost kicked out my left boob.
消防员都要因为场地太满 把我左乳踢走了
Why can't you just try it?
你为何不能直接尝一口呢
You've had worse things in your mouth.
你嘴里肯定塞进过更恶心的东西
He's moving here to be with you.
他是为了你搬来这里
He's moving here for a job.
他是为了工作搬来这里
Look, whatever comes next,
听着 无论接下来是什么
just put it in your mouth and eat it.
都给我塞进嘴巴里 吃掉它
Well, I did not know the bird was gonna be alive.
我都不知道那只鸟还是活生生的
Worst part? Making eye contact.
最糟糕的部分是 跟它对视
Creamed kimchi
奶油泡菜
and pelican tongue with Asian pear.
鹈鹕舌头配亚洲梨
Enjoy.
请享用
The least you can do is swallow a little tongue.
你至少可以吞下一小条舌头吧
tongue swallowing? Foam?
吞舌头 嘴沾白沫
This isn't a restaurant; it's a heroin overdose.
这不是餐厅 这是吸毒过量
I love you.
我爱你
Good for you, Max!
好样的 麦克斯
This is real growth.
这才是真正的成长
Is it bad I feel like the tongue is tasting me back?
我感觉那舌头也在品尝我 是不是不太好啊
Max, you look sweaty.
麦克斯 你在冒汗
Like when you try to do math.
就像你试图算数时一样
I think that tongue is looking for an exit.
我觉得那舌头正在我体内寻找出口
Randy, we're really excited for you to come work with us.
兰迪 我们十分兴奋你能与我们一起共事
How fast can you move to New York?
你能多快速搬来纽约
Not as fast as I have to get to that bathroom.
那也比不上我去厕所的速度快
Excuse us,
失陪了
we have to go to the little sparrow's room.
我们得去下小麻雀的房间
Nope, it's cool, false alarm.
不用了 没事 虚惊一场
Nope, real alarm. Very real alarm.
不 是真的 超级无敌真
- Should I come in with you? - No!
-要我跟你进去吗 -不用
Even I don't want to go in there!
甚至连我自己都不想进去
I doubt this door is soundproof, so talk loud.
我怀疑这门不隔音 所以你讲话大声点
Just start with your normal volume,
先从你正常的音调开始
and then dial it down a notch.
然后再小声一点 就是大声了
Oh, Marissa!
玛丽莎
You have to tell me
快告诉我
where you found these fabulous glasses.
这些漂亮的玻璃杯在哪儿买的
Restoration Hardware?
是新复古品牌A
Crate and Barrel?
还是美式现代品牌B
Restoration Hardware Modern?
抑或新复古现代品牌C
West Elm? CB2?
贵版宜家D 年轻现代E
CB3? Is there one of those yet?
还是无品牌F 没有一个中的吗
You know what? Let's get some music going!
要不 我们放点音乐吧
Like some really loud dubstep,
放那种特别大声的电子乐
'cause I'm running out of breath.
因为我要喘不上气了
Oh, there's no music allowed here.
这里不让放音乐
It would get in the way of hearing
这样我们就听不到品尝食物时
the symphony of taste.
口中的交响曲了
Not my words.
听别人说的
Okay, they were my words.
好吧 其实是我自己说的
I think I'd like to make a toast.
我想举杯致敬
Oh, no, please don't make a toast.
不 拜托不要这样做
I've begun not to like you.
我已经开始不喜欢你了
Seriously, Lenin.
说真的 列宁
Not even a little light piano?
连轻柔的钢琴曲都不行吗
You don't need to reinvent the freaking wheel here.
又不是让你做多费劲的事
Hey, Caroline, please. Just sit.
卡洛琳 拜托 快坐下
You know what, I see if I have another Klonopin.
我找找看还有没有镇静剂
- I'm fine. - It's not for you.
-我不需要 -不是给你的
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Should I go in there?
我该进去看看吗
'Cause I am not hearing the standard
因为我没听见标准的那套
tinkle and a hand wash.
嘘嘘声和洗手声
No, don't move. Stay there.
不 别动 坐着就好
That noise is just the pipes backing up a little.
那噪音只是水管有点堵而已
Well, a lot.
非常堵
Oh, Lord!
上帝啊
They're young.
年轻人嘛
My camera needs to be in there.
我得进去拍
Enough with the camera!
不要拍了
I'm alive!
你也要搭理下我这个活物吧
Max.
麦克斯
Where are you going?
你要去哪里
Anywhere but here!
离开这里
Max, seriously!
麦克斯 别闹了
What's going on in there?
里面到底什么状况
Everything's okay in here!
里面一切都好
We'll be out in a minute.
我们马上出去
If you're not gonna let me in, at least...
如果不让我进去 那至少也...
Max!
麦克斯
Wait up!
等等
You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me.
你无需在我面前觉得丢脸
I've seen worse.
我见过更糟的
Okay, no I haven't.
好吧 我没有
Just go away!
你走开啦
I can't take that sad look.
我受不了你那个悲哀的表情
It's the same look you gave Chestnut
上次栗宝把屎拉在沙发上
that time he crapped on the couch.
你也是这个表情
I'm fine alone; you didn't have to leave.
我一个人能行 你不用跟出来
No, I did.
不 我必须出来
They couldn't possibly think one person
他们一定认为那不可能是
was responsible for all that.
一个人的呕吐量
Plus, I don't want to leave you.
再说了 我不想扔下你
You're sick.
你不舒服
I think it's beyond sick.
比不舒服严重多了
I lost bone mass in there.
我把骨质都吐出来了
My shoes are too big now.
我现在鞋子都嫌大了
I'm so embarrassed!
真是好丢脸啊
Hey, it happens.
这是常有的事
You got a stomach ache.
你肚子疼而已
You're just not used to rich food.
你只是不习惯吃有钱人吃的食物
I'm not used to rich anything.
我不习惯有钱人的任何玩意
And if this is Randy's world...
如果兰迪的世界是这样...
uh, bird bones and pretentious people...
鸟骨头和做作的人们
then maybe my body is telling me I can't take it.
那或许我的身体在告诉我 我接受不了
Max, if I got used to buying earrings at the AMPM,
麦克斯 如果我能习惯在便利店买耳环
you can get used to fancy food and pretentious people.
那你也能习惯精美的食物 做作的人们
You don't get it!
你不明白
He is moving here for me.
他是为了我才搬来这里
Oh, do you think so?
是哦 你也这么觉得吗
I wish your best friend
真希望你的好闺蜜
had been telling you that for two days.
在过去两天有跟你一直念叨这件事
He's moving his whole life.
他要把他整个人生搬来这里
I don't know how to do that.
我不知道该怎么办
I didn't even know how to react when he moved my chair for me.
就连他给我搬椅子时 我都不知道该作何反应
You were right, it's not about the food;
你说得对 这无关食物
it's about our future,
这事关我们的未来
and I just vomited all over our future.
而我刚吐了我们的未来一脸
What?
干嘛
I hate to say this, but you need a mint.
我很不想这么说 但你需要来一颗薄荷糖
Sorry, I love you, but you need a mint.
抱歉 我爱你 但你需要来一颗薄荷糖
I need to disappear.
我需要消失
What do you think of the name Sheila Newman?
你觉得希拉·纽曼[新生]这名字怎么样
Max!
麦克斯
Randy.
兰迪
Great, just in time to see me jump.
太棒了 正好赶上看我跳下去
What happened? Where'd you go?
怎么回事 你们去哪儿了
Oh, I jumped on that bike so fast,
我太快跳上自行车
my man parts are no longer talking to me.
我的"兄弟们"再也不会跟我说话了
She didn't want to be sick in front of you.
她不舒服 不想被你看见
You got sick?
你不舒服吗
Okay, fine, we all heard it.
好啦 我们都听见了
But why did you leave without saying something?
但你为什么一句话不说就走了
Because words were the only thing
因为话语是唯一一样
not coming out of my mouth.
不会从我嘴巴出来的东西
Max?
麦克斯
You're not gonna look at me?
你不看着我吗
I can't.
我不能
Wait, here.
等等 给
Now she can.
现在她能了
You better get back there.
你最好快回去
I don't want you to lose that job.
我不想你失去这份工作
I don't want that job.
我不想要这份工作
I don't know how many more pills Marissa took,
我都不知道玛丽莎吃了多少药
but she passed out in a pot of clam steam.
但她晕倒在一锅清蒸蛤蜊里
I missed clam steam?
我错过了清蒸蛤蜊吗
I've been reading about his clam steam.
杂志上老提他做的清蒸蛤蜊
Please stop saying "clam steam."
拜托不要再说"清蒸蛤蜊"
I can actually smell the words.
我都可以闻得到这四个字的味儿了
Okay, Max.
好吧 麦克斯
You are starting to turn green again,
你又开始面如菜色了
so why don't you hop on, and I will ride you home
要不你坐上来 我会骑自行车送你回家
on my bicycle like a real man.
像个爷们一样载你
I don't know, Randy.
我不知道 兰迪
A lot of stuff came up for me at that dinner.
一顿饭的时间 很多东西涌上来
And I'm not just talking about
我不止是说
every single thing I ate this year.
我今年吃过的每一样东西
I mean, maybe I'm not right for you.
或许我不适合你
Don't be so hard on yourself about tonight.
今晚的事 你别太苛责自己了
I mean, look at me.
你看我
I'm not brave enough to eat in that diner.
我也没有勇气去你打工的餐厅吃饭啊
Come here, you.
过来
Maybe wait another 60 seconds.
或许再等60秒会更好
I think we are different.
我知道我们不一样
But we kind of go together.
但我们也算合拍
Like peppered baby bird bladder and pesto.
就像撒胡椒的幼鸟膀胱和香蒜酱
Oh, no. Oh, no.
完蛋了 完蛋了
Oh, my God.
天啊
That's gonna do it!
我要吐了
Wrong night to be driving a convertible.
今晚开敞篷车真是中了"大奖"啊
Oh, wait... no, no, no, no, no, no.
等等 别跳别跳
So how's your first diner burger?
你第一个餐厅汉堡如何啊
It's not bad.
还不错
I'm getting a little something.
好像有吃到什么
Um... mesquite?
豆子吗[跟蚊子谐音]
Yeah, they die in the fan
是啊 他们被灭蚊器弄死
and then fall on the grill.
然后尸体掉到了烤肉架上
I'll take mosquito burger over pelican any day.
我宁愿吃蚊子汉堡也不吃鹈鹕
Interesting, Randy.
真有意思 兰迪
You get two waitresses paying attention to you
有两名服务员在专心服务你
and most people get none.
而大多数人一个都没有
Like that one over there,
就像那边那个
over there, and that gentleman over there
还有那边 以及那边那个男士
who's just giving up and leaving.
等得不耐烦 都要走了
Fine, Han, we will go over to the counter
行了 阿憨 我们去吧台边上
and continue to talk.
继续聊天了
I know I say a lot of stuff about you,
我知道我老说你
especially to your face,
尤其爱当面说你
but thank you for your help last night.
但谢谢你昨晚的帮忙
I know you would have done the same thing for me.
我知道你也会为我做同样的事
But if I ever get that sick,
但如果我有这么不舒服
you have my permission to kill me.
我准许你杀了我
I mean, when you went into that toilet, looking for my earring,
当你走进那间厕所 为我找掉了的耳环时
I knew I had found my post-sex partner.
我就知道我找到了我的后性♥爱伴侣
You did that for her?
你居然为她这么做吗
And all this time, we've been looking for
一直以来 我们在寻找完美的一对
the perfect couple to be godparents,
给我们孩子当干爹妈
and they're right under our noses.
而她们就在我们眼皮底下
Girl-on-girl godparents.
女女干妈妈
I like it.
我喜欢
You two girls are gonna be great with the baby.
你们俩姑娘一定能跟我宝宝好好相处
I mean, Caroline,
我是说 卡洛琳
you were elbow-deep in Max's upchuck.
你半只胳膊伸进去掏麦克斯的呕吐物
I mean, I wouldn't even do that for my own father
我亲爹我都不会愿意为他这么做
when he swallowed all those bees.
当时他吞下了所有的蜜蜂
Wow, Sophie, this is such a huge compliment.
苏菲 这真是对我莫大的夸奖
Tucked away in a terrible personal memory.
虽然是夹在一个可怕的个人回忆里面
Well, if something would ever happen to us,
如果我们俩出了什么事
let Max do the breast feeding.
让麦克斯来喂奶
'Cause, yeah, I don't want the kid to starve.
因为我可不想我的小孩饿死
This is exciting!
这真让人兴奋
Randy, I'm gonna be a godfather.
兰迪 我要当干爹啦
And equally as exciting,
同样让人兴奋的是
I'm gonna be climbing out of that bathroom window
我也要从那个厕所的窗户爬出去啦
in about two minutes.
就在差不多两分钟后开爬