麦克斯结交洛城男友

You girls are back from Hollywood already?
你们俩已经从好莱坞回来了吗
Time sure does move fast.
一日真是三秋啊
We haven't left yet.
我们都还没去呢
Time sure does move slow,
度日真是如年啊
especially when you are as high as I am right now.
尤其是当你们像我现在这样嗨翻天的时候
There's a car waiting out front to take us to the airport.
前面有辆车正等着带我们去机场
The only thing better than a town car
世上唯一比加长礼车[城镇车]好的车
is a getting-out-of-town car.
就是带你逃离城镇车
And I came in to say
而我进来是想说
there's a car waiting for me out front,
前门有台车在等我上
and it's not a police car!
而且不是警车哦
I knew you two weren't going to LA.
我就知道你们俩没有要去洛城
I knew you were just pulling my chain.
我就知道你俩是逗我玩
You know, when I pull your chain,
如果我真要逗你玩[拉你发条]
you go, "Whoo-hoo-hoo."
你就会发出"呜污污"
No studio would fly you two cross-country
才不会有制片厂要大老远让你们飞过去
just to discuss a movie about Caroline losing all her money.
就为了谈一部卡洛琳损失万贯家财的电影呢
That's almost as funny as that time Caroline said
这好笑程度紧逼上次卡洛琳说
she reported the diner to the health department.
她跟卫生局举报我们餐厅一样好笑
Which reminds me, Han, there's something here for you
这话提醒了我 阿憨 这里有封信
from the health department.
是卫生局寄来给你的
Han, we really are going to LA.
阿憨 我们真的要去洛城
In fact, they're already talking to the Keebler Elf
其实 他们已经在跟旺旺公仔谈
about playing you in my movie.
让他在电影里出演你的角色
It's between him and the Asian daughter from "Modern Family."
由他或者《摩登家庭》里的亚裔女儿来演
This is almost as funny as that time Max said
这话的好笑程度紧逼上次麦克斯说
she registered me as a sex offender down at city hall.
她去市政♥府把我登记为性犯罪者一样好笑
Han, there's also something here for you from city hall.
阿憨 这里还有一封市政♥府寄给你的信
Girls, what happened?
姑娘们 发生什么事了
Are you on the no-fly list too?
你们也在禁飞名单上吗
You hide a six-pack of batteries in your junk once,
就把六盒电池藏在自己鸡鸡边上一次
and you're grounded for life.
就上禁飞名单一辈子了
Let's just go and never look back.
我们还是走吧 别回头
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
This can't be our room.
这不可能是我们房间
This is so sweet.
这也太爽[套]了
Is that why they call it that?
所以这才叫套房吗
Terrace! Terrace!
阳台 阳台
Staircase! Staircase!
楼梯 楼梯
Oh, my God.
天啊
Take a picture before they realize there's been a mistake
赶紧趁他们发现给错房之前帮我拍照
and put me back in coach.
之后又要被丢回普通房了
These are the only 12 steps anyone's gonna get me to take.
"12步戒瘾"我不可能 但12步楼梯我可以
Now me. Now me. Terrace. Terrace.
换我 换我 阳台 阳台拍
The view.
这景色
Oh, I need to get a picture of me with the view.
快帮我拍一张带风景的照片
This is so awesome.
这也太赞了
Our view at home is just a painting of a view
我们家唯一看得到的风景
in the neighbor's apartment.
就是邻居家里那幅风景画
Oops, careful of that railing.
小心那个扶手哦
Three out-of-work actresses "Slipped and fell"
从上个开播季开始 已有三个下岗女演员
from there last pilot season.
"意外摔倒坠楼"
One fall is an accident, three an epidemic.
一个人坠楼叫意外 三个人就成流行病了
Ooh, look. We each get a pet.
看 我们一人有一只宠物
Well, I'm Lawrence, the hotel's general manager.
我是劳伦斯 酒店的总经理
I upgraded you.
是我给你们升级了房间
You were supposed to be in a room with two queens...
你们原来的房间是两张双人皇后床的房间
well, three if I was in it.
如果我在就是三个皇后[受]
Thank you so much, Lawrence.
太谢谢你了 劳伦斯
That's really amazing of you.
你人真是太好了
But why would you upgrade us?
但你为什么要给我们升级房间呢
Are you nuts?
你是不是疯了
That's like asking a teacher if there's weekend homework.
你这就跟问老师周末有没有作业一样
Well, I heard you were in LA for a movie meeting,
我听说你来洛城参加电影会议
and, well, keep me in mind.
到时候别忘了我啊
Absolutely.
那当然
For what?
别忘了你啥
A part.
客串
I'm also an actor.
我也是个演员
I'm very versatile.
而且非常多样化
I can play a gay dad, a gay executive,
我能演同性恋爸爸 同性恋主管
a gay priest.
同性恋牧师
Is there any other kind?
这还能有别种吗
I can also play straight.
我也能演直男
Just ask my ex-wife Beth.
你问我前妻贝丝就知道了
But she really should have suspected.
她当初真应该起疑心的
We would get into such knockdowns about the pesto.
哪有直男会为了香蒜酱跟她争到面红耳赤呢
- Lawrence, I'm confused. - About what?
-劳伦斯 我有点迷糊了 -有啥好迷糊
Gay guys care a lot about pesto.
基佬们特别在意香蒜酱
Aren't you the hotel's general manager?
你不是酒店的总经理吗
Yep, for the last 20 years,
是啊 当了20年了
until I get my big break.
等我一戏成名就行啦
So keep me in mind.
所以别忘了我啊
Also, Ms. Black, your luggage is still lost,
布莱克小姐 你的行李还下落不明
like me in my early f... thirties.
就跟我四... 三十多岁时一样[性向]不明
Enjoy the place. It's all yours.
好好享受这房间吧 全是你们的了
This is Lawrence.
我是劳伦斯
The place is all ours!
这里是我们的啦
The place is all ours!
这里是我们的啦
Hi. You have to get out...
您好 得请你们离开了
For about an hour.
大概离开一小时就好
Go eat. It's almost dinnertime.
去吃饭吧 马上到晚餐时间了
I'll put your name on the list at our restaurant.
我会把你们名字放到餐厅的宾客名单上
And I'm sorry about this.
真的很抱歉
It's just that I have an A-list movie star
但有个大牌电影明星
who wants to have an "impromptu private meeting" here.
想要在这里跟人有个"临时秘密会议"
Is this like a Travolta masseuse kind of thing?
类似演员"特拉沃尔塔大战按♥摩师"那种事吗
I said "A-list."
我说的是"大牌"好吗
Lawrence said we were on a list,
劳伦斯说我们在名单上了
so why are we still stuck out here?
为什么我们还卡在这里
And don't blame my smelly shirt,
不许怪我的臭衣服
because Johnny Depp, who's sitting over there,
因为坐在那里的约翰尼·德普
smells way worse.
比我臭太多了
Why are you two still at the bar?
你们两个怎么还坐在吧台
Didn't you speak to Claude?
你们没去找克劳德说吗
Which snotty gay guy is he?
哪个臭屁基佬是他
Look, not everyone in this hotel is gay.
这酒店里不是所有人都是基
But Claude is hands-down-my-pants
但克劳德是我摸鸡发誓
the gayest.
最基的一个了
I also came to apologize for asking you for a part...
我还想跟你道歉 让你给我个角色前
without showing you my reel.
没有让你看我的过往演出短片
Come with me.
跟我过来
The Wi-Fi's better by that fountain
喷水池那区的无线网信号好
that Whoopi Goldberg peed in.
就是被大牌黑人女星尿过的那个
I'll be right back, Max
麦克斯 我马上回来
I have a feeling his reel is real short.
我有预感他的短片会特别短
Ooh, Claude? Are you Claude?
克劳德 你是克劳德吗
I'm sorry you had to be a baby named Claude.
我对你婴儿时期就得顶着这名字感到遗憾
I'm on the list.
我在宾客名单上
- Name? - Max Black.
-名字 -麦克斯·布莱克[特大黑]
No.
不
Yes, Max Black.
真的 麦克斯·布莱克
Uh, no.
不
Yep, that's me, Caroline Channing.
这就是我 卡洛琳·钱宁
I'm with her. We're here together.
我跟她是一起来的
No.
不
Dude, don't make me hit you.
兄弟 别逼我打你
Max.
麦克斯
Max Black. Max, over here.
麦克斯·布莱克 麦克斯 过来
Claude, she's with me.
克劳德 她是跟我一起的
Very good.
很好
Just so you know, I'm not a hooker.
我先说好 我不是妓♥女
Oh, I know.
我知道
Prostitutes don't have such a tough time
妓♥女们想穿过领班
getting past the maitre d' here.
从来不会那么费劲
I'm Randy.
我叫兰迪
Sit?
请坐吧
And what makes you think I would need to hire
你为什么会觉得我需要雇一个妓♥女
a hooker to have dinner with?
才会有人要跟我共进晚餐呢
Oh, I didn't think you were a john.
我没有觉得你是个寻芳客啊
I thought you were a pimp.
我以为你是皮条客
- Not a pimp. - Uh, not buying it.
-不是皮条客 -我不信
Who else would wear five silver rings?
除了皮条客 谁会戴这么多银戒指啊
Every straight guy in LA over 40?
每个年过四十的洛城直男啊
Wow, not a pimp, not gay.
不是皮条客 也不是基佬
You're really putting it all right out there.
勾人上床的绝活你都使出来了啊
You have to be from New York.
你肯定是从纽约来的
No, Brooklyn,
不 是布鲁克林
New York City's trashy little cousin with hep C.
纽约市那带丙肝的淫♥荡表妹
Wow, hooker, hep C. 妓♥女 丙肝
You're really putting it all out there.
勾人上床的绝活你也都使出来了啊
Can I buy you a drink?
我能给你买杯酒吗
A house?
买套房子呢
There you are.
你在这里啊
Hi. I'm Caroline. I'm...
你好 我叫卡洛琳 我...
- Leaving. - What?
-要走了 -什么
Go. I just got bumped up to first.
你走吧 我刚被升级到头等舱了
Livin' in LA and lovin' my life.
身住洛城 享受人生
Hi, Sophie. How are you?
苏菲 你好吗
Oh, not too good.
不太好
Yeah, I thought I called Max's phone.
我以为我打的是麦克斯的电话呢
Is that the adoption agency?
是领养中介吗
Did you tell them we liked that couple
你告诉他们我们喜欢那一对
who didn't plan on a 14th?
没计划生第14个小孩的夫妻吗
No, it's not the agency.
不是领养中介
I called to talk to Max, but I got Caroline's
我本是打给麦克斯 没想到却得到
"My life doesn't suck anymore" podcast.
卡洛琳的"我的人生不再悲惨"播客节目
Well, Sophie, Max isn't here.
苏菲 麦克斯不在
She met this really cute guy...
她认识了一个大帅哥
Max already got laid!
麦克斯已经滚到床单了
That's why I love LA.
这就是为什么我爱洛城
Hey, way back in the day, I was all up and down
the Strip.
想当年 日落大道上上下下我称王
Now I'm excited if I get up and down the step.
如今楼梯还能上上下下就偷笑
Sophie, Max didn't come home last night,
苏菲 麦克斯昨晚的确没回房间
but we don't know that she got laid.
但我们不能确定她就滚到了床单啊
Oh, she did...
她大滚特滚了呢
By a lawyer.
跟一个律师
And the verdict is in: hot.
而且宣布裁定结果 太热辣
Hey, Max, how hung was his jury?
麦克斯 他的"陪审团"多大
Sophie, I have to go.
苏菲 我得走了
We have a meeting at the movie studio.
我们在片场有个会议
Call you later, Max.
麦克斯 晚点再打给你
I want details.
我要听所有细节
Helmet or turtleneck?
下面是皮包头还是皮套脖
Oh, my God. I'm exhausted.
天啊 我累死了
From all the sex?
滚到浑身乏力吗
No, we went on a hike this morning.
不是 我们今早去爬山了
LA hookups are so healthy.
洛城的约炮也太健康了吧
You exercised? Outside?
你运动了吗 在户外
Oh, you must really like this guy.
你一定很喜欢这男的
Well, I've never had sex with a lawyer
毕竟我从来没有跟律师睡...
that wasn't court-appointed.
应该说非法庭指定的律师睡过
I'm so happy for you.
我真为你高兴
And he's a lawyer?
而且他是律师啊
What, like, an entertainment lawyer?
哪种 娱乐法律师吗
Yep, he handles Bradley Cooper, Nicole Kidman,
对啊 他客户有布莱德利·库伯 妮可·基德曼
George Clooney, and... my Clooney.
乔治·克鲁尼 以及我这可撸妮
Morning. Got news about your luggage.
早安 你的行李有消息了
- It's here? - No.
-找到了吗 -没有
Like a young me, it's stuck in Detroit.
就如同当年的我 被困在底特律了
Perry Tyler's office. This is Quan.
佩里·泰勒办公室 我是小全
Oh, hi.
你好
Yes, absolutely, set in stone.
没错 当然 十分肯定
We're so excited.
我们都迫不及待了呢
So not happening.
绝对没可能
But our meeting with Mr. Tyler
但我们跟泰勒先生的见面时间
that was scheduled for 20 minutes ago,
是安排在二十分钟后
that's still happening, right?
这事还有可能 对吧
Absolutely. Set in stone. We're so excited.
当然 十分肯定 我们都迫不及待了呢
- Ooh, I got a text. - No, it's me.
-我有短信 -是我
Max, I can't believe it.
麦克斯 我真不敢相信
You're hoping the lawyer calls.
你在期待那个律师打给你
I've never seen you hope for anything.
我从没见过你对任何事有期待
I thought he'd call.
我本以为他会打给我
I kind of liked him.
我还挺喜欢他呢
I went outside in the daytime.
我为了他在白天去了户外呢
Nina's on her way in.
妮娜在过来路上了
You know, she's the executive who discovered me
还记得吧 她就是在说故事节目上
at that storytelling show.
发掘我的那个主管
I'm running behind, so you need to order me lunch.
我比原计划慢了 你得帮我订午餐
I want a kale salad with a side of kale
我想要羽衣甘蓝色拉 外加羽衣甘蓝
and a kale shake,
再加一杯羽衣甘蓝奶昔
and tomorrow better book me a kale-onic.
明天再给我预定个甘蓝疗程
Caroline, what are you doing?
卡洛琳 你在干嘛
You're dressed all wrong.
你衣服全穿错了
Yours is a "riches to rags" story,
你的故事是"公主变乞丐"
a story we'll never sell if you go in there wearing that.
你穿成这样怎么在会议上说服别人
I have a huge hole near the crotch
我的连裤♥袜在靠近胯下的部分
in my panty hose, if that helps.
破了一个大洞 这有帮助吗
It doesn't.
当然没有
You need to look broke, busted,
你得看起来穷困潦倒惨兮兮
discarded from society.
被社会排挤
Put on what she's wearing.
穿上她穿的衣服
Fine,
好吧
as long as I don't have to wear that stupid nurse cape.
只要不是让我穿你这件白♥痴护士披肩就行了
That dress looks cute on you,
这洋装你穿了挺美
all three of you.
你们仨都美
I know. Ugh, look at this.
对啊 你看看
It's like my first day of kindergarten.
就像我第一天去上幼儿园一样
Hi.
你好
It's been two hours. Is he maybe ready yet?
都过了两小时 他应该好了吧
Absolutely. We're so excited.
当然 我们都迫不及待了呢
Fine, but these are about to blow.
好吧 但这里随时会爆
So don't come crying to me when you're blinded
所以等你被胸口炸飞的纽扣弄瞎眼时
by boob buttons.
可别来找我哭
Something in your shirt is itching me.
你衣服里有东西扎着我了
Why is there a joint in your shirt?
为什么你衣服里会有大♥麻烟卷
I think that's obvious.
那还不够明显吗
It fell down from my hair.
从我头发上掉的啊
Good thing you found it and not those TSA party poopers.
还好是你发现 而不是运输安全局的扫兴鬼
My phone. Where? Where it it?
我的电话 在哪里
Oh, I put it here in your front pocket.
我把它放在你的衬衫前袋
Oh, cool, there's never room there when I wear it.
可以啊 我穿的时候挤得都没地方放东西了
See, Max, I knew he'd call you.
瞧 麦克斯 我就知道他会打给你
- Well, he said he would. - And he will.
-他说过他会 -他会的
But right now, this is Sophie.
只是现在是苏菲
Hi, Sophie.
苏菲
How's the adoption going?
领养进展如何啊
Did you find a 16-year-old who really let her parents down?
你有找到让父母伤透心的16岁失足少女吗
Hey, Earl, where is Oleg right now?
厄尔 奥列格在哪里
He just went to the men's room
他刚去厕所
with the bra ads from today's paper.
还拿着今天报纸的内衣广告
Okay, I have 45 minutes.
好的 那我有45分钟
But the thing is,
问题是
I still want the baby to look like me.
我还是想让宝宝长得像我
Well you can put hair extensions on anything.
你可以把假发套在任何东西上啊
Are you saying that I shouldn't adopt
你是说我不该领养
and I should keep trying to have my own baby?
应该继续努力争取怀上自己的小孩吗
Ohh, I've got go Sophie, our 4:00 2:00 meeting is on.
我得挂了 要去我们4点开始的2点会议了
That's a wrap for today, Quan.
今天就到这吧 全
Wait, he's just gonna leave
等等 他打算就这样走了
and not acknowledge our existence?
完全无视我们的存在吗
I can't believe this.
真是难以置信
They're treating me like they know who I am.
他们对待我的方式就像知道我是谁一样
Mr. Tyler.
泰勒先生
Hi, Caroline Channing.
我是卡洛琳·钱宁
We were supposed to have a meeting.
我们本来安排了见面
Quick refresher: lost my billions
简单回顾下 失去万贯家财
but not my plucky can-do attitude against all odds.
尽管困难重重 但我仍拥有勇敢乐观的态度
I'm Max. I'm the odds.
我是麦克斯 我就是那"困难"
Oh, yeah, you're the sad, dejected, destitute girl.
你是那个可悲落魄的穷鬼吃土妹
That's me, the destitute girl.
就是我 穷鬼吃土妹
So sorry. Today got away from me.
很抱歉 我今天下班了
Ryan Murphy can talk.
莱恩·墨菲可真能吹啊
I'll have my office call you tomorrow.
我会让我办公室明天打给你
Call her?
打给她
Call her?
打给她
Why don't you just tell her the truth,
你何不直接告诉她真相
that she's never gonna hear from you,
你不可能打给她
the movie's never gonna happen,
电影也不可能谈成
and like every other man in this town,
就像这城市的每一个男人一样
you're full of crap and silver jewelry.
你满嘴谎言 满手银饰
Well, okay then.
那好吧
So sorry to have kept you waiting.
很抱歉让你们久等了
Quan, set them up with another appointment tomorrow.
全 帮她们重新安排明天的预约
And this is platinum.
我这个可是白金
He's really gonna meet with us, right?
他真的会跟我们见面 对吗
Absolutely. Set in stone. We're so excited.
当然 十分肯定 我们都迫不及待了呢
So never gonna happen.
所以就是没戏了
What do we do now?
我们现在该怎么办
Well, as I said on my first day of kindergarten...
我上幼儿园的第一天也这么说
it's recess.
休息时间到了
There you are.
瞧瞧你
Drinking alone at a bar in the morning.
一大早就独自一人在酒吧喝酒
Did we switch bodies when we switched clothes?
我们换衣服的时候 连性格也互换了吗
It's 5:00 somewhere.
世上某处已到喝酒点
Oh, my God. Maybe we have.
天啊 或许我们真换了
I just needed a few sips to calm myself down.
我需要小酌几口 让自己冷静下来
Look, I'm really sorry I lost it on that studio guy.
很抱歉 我对制片厂那个家伙发火了
And I guess running behind his car and begging didn't work.
我猜追着他的车大声求他一点用都没有
Wow, even apologizing in LA is healthy.
哇 在洛城连道歉都如此健康
There's still a chance; Nina's meeting with Perry right now.
还有机会 妮娜现在要跟佩里见面
Maybe she'll smooth everything over,
或许她能帮忙摆平这一切
like everybody does here with their faces.
就像这里的所有人 企图拉"平"脸上一切皱纹
Oh, Claude, hi, Caroline Channing.
克劳德 我是卡洛琳·钱宁
Lawrence put me on the list for a table.
劳伦斯把我的名字加进宾客名单了
And I'm Max Black, your worst nightmare.
我是麦克斯·布莱克 你最可怕的噩梦
One moment.
稍等
So aggressive. What is the problem?
态度这么差 怎么回事
I'm guessing low self-esteem.
我猜是因为自卑吧
Not him. I'm talking about you.
不是他 我说的是你
I'm guessing low self-esteem.
我猜是因为自卑吧
Nina, hi.
妮娜 你好
I didn't realize your meeting with Perry was here.
我都不知道你跟佩里是在这里见面
God, it's like everyone in Hollywood is here.
老天 就像好莱坞的所有人都在这里
Yes, for about another month.
是啊 再一个月
Then this place will be as empty
这个地方就会空得像
as Keira Knightley's refrigerator.
凯拉·奈特莉家的冰箱
著名英国影星 骨瘦如柴 不断被媒体影射患有厌食症
So I just talked to Perry, and looks like
我刚跟佩里谈了 貌似他真的
he was really offended by you yesterday.
被你昨天的行为冒犯到
Uh, I'm sure people have said worse things to that man.
我敢肯定有人对他说过更难听的话
I mean, his license plate says, "Makin' Movies."
拜托他的车牌号是"拍电影" 拽得咧
Max, you can't have an attitude like that
麦克斯 以你这副态度
and not get buried in Hollywood.
在好莱坞肯定会被打入18层地狱
Nina.
妮娜
Just ask Claude.
不信问问克劳德
He used to run Paramount.
派拉蒙影业公司以前可是归他管
It's over?
所以结束了吗
I came all this way to be disappointed
我大老远跑来这里就为了
by a rich guy in Hollywood?
被好莱坞一个有钱人给弄失望吗
I could have just seen a Kevin Hart movie.
我直接看凯文·哈特的电影不就好了吗
美国著名喜剧演员
I'm sorry.
对不起
I better go sign for these drinks while they're still free.
我最好趁酒还免♥费前 赶紧签单走人
Claude, Claude, listen,
克劳德 克劳德 听着
I know you and I haven't gotten along,
我知道咱俩看对方都不顺眼
but quick fave.
但帮个忙
I need to fix something for my friend.
我得帮我朋友解决点事
Can I just go over there and talk to that guy, please?
我能过去跟那个人说句话吗 拜托了
Are you on the list?
你在名单上吗
I've never been on the list.
我从未在名单上
I can do this all day, sweetheart.
我可以这样一天也不累 宝贝
I'm a gay rumba champion.
我可是同性恋伦巴舞冠军
Hi, I'm Max. I'll be your server.
你好 我是你的服务员麦克斯
Today's soup is "Please don't ruin my friend
Caroline's chance,
今天的例汤是"请不要毁了我朋友卡洛琳的机会
it's all my fault."
一切都是我的错"
And, of course, it's vegan, no dairy.
当然 这是纯素 不含"奶"
What's going on here?
这是什么情况
Sir, I really screwed up,
先生 我真的做错了
and as I screamed into your muffler yesterday,
我昨天冲着你车的排烟管大喊
I am here to beg your forgiveness.
现在我来恳求你的原谅
I wasn't talking about you.
我不是在说你
I meant, why is there bread on my table?
我是说 为什么我的桌子上会有面包
Give her another chance.
再给她一次机会吧
This is the first good thing to happen to her
这是她失去万贯家财后
since she lost all her money,
第一次有好事降临
aside from the time the Red Cross gave us coffee.
红十字会给我们咖啡那事就先不提了[捐血]
At least meet with her,
至少跟她见个面
so you can hear how amazing her story is.
这样你就能听听她的故事有多了不起
It's a story of someone not being defined
这个故事讲述的是一个人重获新生
by all the bad things that have happened to them in the past
昨日种种譬如昨日死
and just moving on.
今日种种譬如今日生
I'd buy a ticket to that.
拍成电影我会买票看哦
Perry, what's happening here?
佩里 这是什么情况
Why is there bread on your table?
为什么你的桌子上会有面包
This girl keeps trying to convince me
这个姑娘试图说服我
to have a meeting with her friend.
跟她的朋友见个面
I haven't seen a waitress this desperate
我很久没见过有服务员这么不要脸了
since Shannen Doherty slipped me her head shot last night.
上一次还是昨晚莎侬·多赫提偷塞给我她的大头照
美国女演员
Well, as your lawyer,
作为你的律师
I recommend you give her exactly what she wants.
我建议你 她要什么你就给什么
You won't be sorry.
肯定不会后悔
I wasn't.
我就不后悔
Come back tomorrow at 11:00.
明天11点来找我
You guys may have to wait, but I'll squeeze you in.
你们可能得等一会 但我会挤时间见你们
Oh, my... thank you so much.
天啊 非常感谢
Now, I have to go find my friend
现在我得去找我的朋友了
before she accidentally slips and falls off the terrace.
得赶在她不小心"意外滑倒坠楼"之前找到她
Max, hold up.
麦克斯 等等
That was really cool of you.
你刚才的行为很酷
I'm not even upset anymore that you didn't call me.
就连你不打电话给我 我也不会觉得不爽了
I didn't want to come on too strong.
我不想一上来就追得这么紧
Should I not have taken dating advice from David Spade?
我是不是不该听从大卫·斯佩德的约会建议
美国男演员 美剧《约会规则》主演
Ooh, I got to take this.
我得个电话
Of course you do.
当然
Hello?
你好
Hey, it's me.
是我
Can I see you tonight?
今晚能见面吗
Did you get that from David Spade?
这也是大卫·斯佩德给你的建议吗
That's all Stamos, baby.
那都是跟斯塔莫斯学的 宝贝
约翰·史坦摩斯 美国男演员
And you're sure it's not another fake meeting?
你确定这不是又一次假安排的会面吗
Because Quan called me to confirm,
因为全打给我来确认
and that makes me nervous.
那反倒让我好紧张啊
Randy says the meeting's legit.
兰迪说这次会面是来真的
And turns out
最后是
you may have an LA BF.
你有了一个洛城男友
Um, he is not my BF.
他不是我的男友
Because B stands for "Boy,"
因为"男"指的是"男孩"
And that guy is a ma-an.
那家伙可是个爷们
Good news about your luggage.
你的行李有好消息了
Like a young me,
像年轻的我
it arrived in Los Angeles in one piece...
完整到达洛杉矶
with a few holes in it.
只是多了几个洞
This is you, right?
这是你的 对吗
Sure looks like me.
当然看起来像我啦
Max, you packed your waitress uniform?
麦克斯 你把制服都带来啦
The weird thing is, I didn't.
诡异的是 我没有啊
I guess I'm never getting away from that life.
我猜我可能永远都逃不开那个命运的纠缠
Yes, you will. We're in Hollywood.
你会的 我们可是在好莱坞
Anything can happen.
一切皆有可能
Oh, Lawrence, how did your audition go?
劳伦斯 你的试镜怎么样
I didn't get it.
没成功
Oh, well, maybe it wasn't the right role for you.
或许那个角色不适合你
What was it?
是演什么啊
The Filipino gay general manager of a hotel
一个酒店的菲律宾同性恋总经理
who used to be straight.
以前曾经是直男
Next one. You'll get the next one.
下一个 下一个角色肯定行
Well, now that your movie's back on, keep me in mind.
既然现在你的电影有得谈 可别忘了我哟
I really am a good actor.
我真的是一个好演员呢
Like right now, I'm acting like I'm not depressed.
就像现在 我在演我一点也不难过
Let's go out.
我们出去玩吧
Let's do Hollywood stuff.
做一些好莱坞的事情
Let's go to the Observatory or see where Biggie got murdered.
去格里菲斯天文台 或看看大个小子被枪杀的地方
饶舌歌手 1997年在洛杉矶被不明枪手袭击并枪杀
Okay!
好啊
Let me just grab something to wear.
我找件衣服穿
Oh, my God. I hope that isn't Lawrence
天啊 我希望别是劳伦斯
saying that he needs the place for an hour
又说他需要这房间空出一个小时
because Ben Affleck is here with a nanny...
因为本·阿弗莱克跟保姆来了
Jude Law is here with a nanny...
裘德·洛跟保姆来了
Gavin Rossdale is here with a nanny.
加文·罗斯代尔跟保姆来了
皆跟自家保姆有过一腿
Hi, girls.
姑娘们
Hey, we've got a lady that looks like you at home.
我们老家也有位女士长得很像你
Wow, nice room.
这房间好漂漂
Sophie, what are you doing here?
苏菲 你来这里干什么
Well, after Max talked me into not adopting...
在麦克斯说服我不要领养之后...
- I did? - You did.
-我有吗 -有啊
Well, I did a little research on my Barnes and Noble Nook.
我在巴诺电子书店上做了点小调查
Do you want one?
你们要一本吗
I guess they're just giving them away right now.
我猜他们现在正免♥费发放呢
No, thanks.
不了 谢谢
I prefer to lie about the books I've read
我更倾向用传统的方式
the old-fashioned way.
就我看过的书撒谎
Well, it turns out all of these Hollywood actresses
我发现所有这些好莱坞演员
that are having babies over 40, like Geena Davis,
都是超过40岁之后才要孩子 比如吉娜·戴维斯
Jane Seymour, Neil Patrick Harris,
珍·西摩尔 尼尔·帕特里克·哈里斯[同性恋男演员]
well, they're all going to this big-shot healer out here,
他们都找的是这里的一位名医
so here I am.
所以我来了
It's cool if I stay with you, right?
我跟你们待在一起 可以吧
- Absolutely. - Set in stone.
-当然 -十分肯定
We're so excited.
我们都迫不及待了呢