麦克斯为男友不惧危险护小狗

Listen up.
听好了
Max and Caroline are at a big Hollywood premiere.
麦克斯与卡洛琳在参加一个盛大的好莱坞首映
They say Harrison Ford is there.
她们说哈里森·福特也在
Tell Han Solo, "Hello from Han."
告诉韩·索罗"憨[韩]跟他问好"
该男演员曾经出演过《星球大战》的角色 韩·索罗
Who always does it solo.
永远自撸的"汉"
Yeah, this place is crawling with celebs.
这里全都是名人
Everyone's here.
大伙都在呢
Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Amy Schumer's sister.
马特·戴蒙 凯特·布兰切特 艾米·舒默的妹妹
前两者是知名演员 后者是女星的知名编剧妹妹
If you see Burt Reynolds, tell him I have his belt.
如果见到毕·雷诺斯 跟他说他皮带在我这
知名老牌男演员
Snap some boob pics.
拍几张奶照
Some A-list D's or some B-list C's.
拍些一线的D奶 或者二线的C奶
I can't. My phone's dead.
没办法 我的手♥机没电了
But you're on your phone.
但你现在就在用它打电♥话啊
Big ruckus here.
这里一团乱呢
Matt Damon just threw a puff pastry at Don Cheadle.
马特·戴蒙刚往唐·钱德尔身上丢了千层饼
How bout we FaceTime?
我们视频通话如何
Can't. No reception.
没办法 没信号
But we're talking to you right now.
但我们不是还说着电♥话吗
Well, I gotta go.
我得走了
Julia Roberts wants to split an UberX.
茱莉亚·罗伯茨想共乘一台便宜出租车
I feel bad lying to Han.
骗阿憨好过意不去
I mean, he's already been catfished three times this year.
他今年已经被网上用假身份的人骗三次了
To be fair, two of those times were me.
不怪他 其中两次是我
And we're not really lying.
我们也不算骗人啊
We could have gone to that Hollywood party if we wanted to.
如果我们想 也是能去好莱坞派对的啊
And had been invited.
前提是被邀请了
And hadn't been kicked out by security.
而且还没被保安给踢出来的话
We're still on the line.
电♥话还没挂断呢
We can never go back there.
我们不能回去那里了
So nice of your new man
你的新男人真好
to send us a pressed juice basket.
送我们冷压果汁篮
So LA.
好洛城风啊
So gross!
好难喝啊
I love them. They're disgusting.
我爱死它们了 它们够恶心
This one's like licking a beet's undercarriage.
这瓶感觉像舔甜菜根的起落架
Still, it was really thoughtful of Randy.
但兰迪的心意还是很感人
He must really like you,
他一定很喜欢你
and really want you to stay regular.
也很希望你能保持标准身材
Yeah, someone really buried the lead
是啊 走了那么多弯路
on this whole being treated well thing,
终于走上了被人好好对待的康庄大道了
and I miss him.
我已经想他了
You saw him 30 minutes ago.
你们30分钟前才见
Feels like 35.
感觉像35分钟了
What is that about? Do I have shingles?
这是怎么回事 我得性病了吗
Oh, my God. I just got an e-mail.
天啊 我刚收到一封电邮
The world's most in-demand actress is on her way over
全球最炙手可热的女演员正在来的路上
to talk about playing me in the movie of my life.
要来谈在我人生的电影中出演我
Betty White's coming here?
贝蒂·怀特要来啦
知名女演员 已经94岁了还是人气很旺
It's Jennifer Lawrence!
是詹妮弗·劳伦斯
Amy Schumer's sister's best friend.
艾米·舒默的妹妹的死党
The studio just set it up.
制片方他们刚安排好
She wants to meet me to see if she digs my vibe.
她想见我看看喜不喜欢我的范儿
Oh, wish I had my vibe.
我也希望我的电动范儿[棒]在
They wouldn't let me bring it on the plane.
他们不让我把它带上飞机
What was I gonna do?
我能拿它做啥坏事啊
Terrorize everyone with pleasure?
用高♥潮恐吓飞机上的人吗
Oh, I better go brush my teeth.
我最好去刷个牙
I don't want Jennifer Lawrence to think
我可不想詹妮弗·劳伦斯觉得
I licked a cantaloupe's armpit.
我舔了哈密瓜的腋下
The star of "The Hunger Games" is coming here?
《饥饿游戏》的女主角要来这里吗
We will have lots in common.
我跟她会有很多共同点
I mean, I've killed kids for food.
比如 我也为了食物杀过小孩
Hey, everybody.
大家安安
Does anyone know how to shut off the fire alarm in the elevator?
有人知道怎么关掉电梯里的火灾警报器吗
'Cause this sage is really popping off.
这个鼠尾草烧得可旺了
Hey, puff puff pass.
有麻烟要分享啊
Ah, you don't smoke it.
这个不是拿来抽的
No, it cleans your aura or some crap like that.
这是拿来净化你的灵气 或其他鬼东西的
Well, that sounds spiritual.
感觉好精神化啊
Oh, you know, my healer says
我的治疗师说
the reason that I haven't been able to get pregnant
我至今还没怀孕的原因是因为
is that my aura is filthier
我的灵气
than my gynecologist's Instagram.
比我妇产科医生的图片分享网还肮脏
But I did get a lot of likes.
但他发的我那张 很多人点赞啊
Ugh, Sophie,
苏菲
I'm getting second hand hippie.
我闻到了二手嬉皮烟
Sophie, I have got to get this out of here
苏菲 我得把这玩意弄出去
or Jennifer Lawrence will think this is my vibe.
不然詹妮弗·劳伦斯会以为这是我的范儿
I'm going for Grace Kelly not Woody Harrelson.
我想走优雅脱俗 而不是逗比男星路线
Well, that's a mistake.
你这是犯了大错
You know what?
你知道吗
My healer, Audra, gave me a whole list of things
我的治疗师 奥德拉 给了我一堆任务
that I need to do in order to get pregnant.
我想怀孕必须得照做
Is one of them, "Have sex the front way"?
其中一条是"从正面上前洞洞吗"
Yeah, also, "Eat apples, meditate,
还有"吃苹果 冥想
cut down on cigars."
雪茄减量"
She also said that I have to practice
她还说我要练习
loving kindness with everyone.
对大家有爱包容
Even the people who trigger my negativity.
对那些惹我不快的人也要如此
Yeah, but you know what?
不过呢
I'm as sweet as the sugar substitute
我这个人甜得就像那
that gave half my family cancer, yeah.
给了我半个家族癌症的代糖
You're maybe not always
其实你不是永远都
sweet as sugar substitute to everyone.
对别人如那代糖一般甜
I'm not?
我没有吗
Well, here comes this idiot.
这傻♥逼又来了
You know what?
这样吧
I'm gonna be real nice to you so that I can have a
baby.
我会对你加倍好 这样我才能怀宝宝
So I don't care what kind of crap comes out
所以我不再也不管你的傻♥逼嘴里
of your stupid pie hole.
又冒出什么二逼话
Oh, my God, I'm a monster.
天啊 我简直坏死了
Oh, my God, do you think that's Jennifer Lawrence?
天啊 你觉得会是詹妮弗·劳伦斯吗
That was fast. What a star.
真有效率 好有明星风范
Prompt and she costs less than a man.
准时而且上门还比叫鸭便宜
Or maybe it's Randy. It's been a whole 38 minutes.
也可能是兰迪 我跟他分开足足38分钟了
39.
39分钟了
Aww, that's making me horny.
这都让我"性"致盎然了
Yeah, and that's not on my list.
可惜这不在我的任务名单上
I came over to tell you I can't stay the night tonight.
我过来是告诉你今晚我不能过夜了
I gotta go to Miami.
我得去一趟迈阿密
My client's causing trouble on the new Johnny Depp movie.
我的委托人在大闹约翰尼·德普的新片
My client's Johnny Depp.
我的委托人就是约翰尼·德普
Is it another "pirates" movie?
又是另一部"海盗"电影吗
'Cause I'm only four hours into the last one.
因为他上次那集我"才看"了四小时呢
Caroline Channing's office.
卡洛琳·钱宁的办公室
This is her assistant Tiesha. Please hold.
我是她的助理泰伊莎 请稍等
I gave myself an assistant 'cause I deserve one.
给了我自己一个助理 因为我值得拥有
Oh, yeah, there it is.
看 就是这样
Oh, my God, I'm getting triggered.
天啊 我又要被惹毛了
Oh, man.
糟糕
My dog sitter just quit.
我的狗保姆刚辞职了
She married Eddie Murphy.
她嫁给埃迪·墨菲了
知名黑人喜剧演员
Now I don't have anybody to watch Bruno.
现在没人帮我照顾布鲁诺了
Oh, I can watch Bruno.
我能帮你照顾他啊
Would you want to stay with him at my place?
那你想去我家跟他待着吗
At your beautiful house in the hills
到你在富人区的那间
with an amazing view of the Hollywood sign?
能看见好莱坞地标的漂亮房子里吗
Ugh, fine, but only 'cause I really want to.
行吧 是看在我超超想去的份上
Okay, so unfortch J Law got swarmed by the paps
真不巧 大表姐被狗仔包
大表姐是中国粉丝对詹尼弗·劳伦斯的昵称
so she has to resche.
只能改时间了啦
Oh, boy.
天啊
I picked the wrong week to quit smoking cigars.
我真是选错时间戒雪茄了
Randy, that view is so amazing.
兰迪 这风景真是太赞了
We're so close I can see the "Ho" Of the Hollywood sign.
这里近到"好莱坞"三个大字只看得到"好"了
And I bet it's saying,
我敢打赌上面是写着
"I can see the ho of Williamsburg."
我能看到威廉斯堡的"好"骚货
Wow, this place is gorgeous.
这地方真是太美了
The last guy Max dated had a mattress on the floor
麦克斯上一个约会的男的 床垫都是在地上
and a lady named Sheila living in the crawl space.
还有个叫谢拉的女人住在地窖
Caroline, are you trying to make me jealous?
卡洛琳 你是想让我嫉妒她前男友吗
Oh, you have nothing to worry about.
你没啥好担心的
There's no way that guy's still alive.
那男的绝对不可能还活着
Look, the next 24 hours,
接下来的24小时
just treat this place like it's yours.
就把这里当做自己家
Don't worry, I will take really good care of Bruno.
放心 我会好好照顾布鲁诺
I'll let him sleep right in the hills.
我会让他睡在我的双峰之间
I haven't been this jealous of my dog
上次这么嫉妒我的狗时
since I saw him licking his own balls every day.
是我看到他每天都能给自己舔蛋蛋
Randy, would you say it's private up here?
兰迪 这里够私密清幽吗
Like private enough to have a meeting with a celebrity
够私密到足以跟明星开会
who I'm not at will to name,
一位我不会说出名字
but it's Jennifer Lawrence.
但是是詹妮弗·劳伦斯
Yeah, it's really quiet up here.
这里很清幽
Just one neighbor up the hill.
也就坡上有个邻居
Old guy. Rocks the hell out of a stained sweat suit.
一个老家伙 穿脏兮兮的运动服有型到炸
We get along great.
我们处得挺好
We've never spoken.
我们从没说过话
I can't get a signal. What's your Wi-Fi password?
我收不到信号 你的无线网密码是什么
1, 2, 5, lowercase B,
1 2 5 小写b
uppercase D, dash, dash, 6, 3,
大写D 破折号 破折号 6 3
lowercase F, uppercase F, 5, 2, 1.
小写f 大写F 5 2 1
Or you can get some reception outside.
或者你去外面就能收到信号
All right, I gotta go.
好了 我得走了
Come here, big boy.
过来 乖狗狗
Who's Daddy's big boy? Yes.
谁是爸爸的乖狗狗 乖
That call works on me too, FYI.
这招对我也管用喔
Come here, big boy.
过来 乖狗狗
Caroline, where's the best reception?
卡洛琳 哪里信号最好
Down this hill behind the hedge...
坡下 靠近篱笆
Oh, is that a snake?
那是蛇吗
Ooh, getting some bars on this table.
在这张桌上我也收到了点信号
I'm gonna call the diner.
我要打给餐厅
Hey, Max, how's my girl?
麦克斯 我的乖闺女
Are you rich, famous, and driving a Prius yet?
你有钱 出名 开始开混合动力车了吗
Earl, you would not believe where we are.
厄尔 你绝对想不到我们现在在哪
I am looking down on all of LA.
我正俯视着整个洛城
Oh, I'm doing that from here.
我在这也是"俯视"整个洛城
Ask Max if she talked to Sophie.
问问麦克斯有没有跟苏菲联♥系
I didn't get an up the skirt selfie this morning
我今早没有收到她发给我裙内风光照
and I'm worried.
我开始担心她了
I got it by accident.
我意外收到了那图
And I'm hoping talking about it
而我也希望谈论这事
will somehow free me from it.
能让我从这梦魇中解脱
Can you forward it to me?
能转发给我吗
You know what? Just take my phone.
我的手♥机直接送你吧
I'll buy a new one.
我去买♥个新的
Stop...blowing.
别 吹了
Stop blowing.
别 吹了
Blowing...
吹...
Thank you!
谢谢
So how would you rate the LA blow job
您会怎么给洛城的"吹"活儿
compared to the ones in New York?
跟纽约的"吹活儿"[口交]打分呢
This one was less work.
这个不用我出嘴出力
When Jennifer Lawrence gets here to interview me,
当詹妮弗·劳伦斯来这里面试我时
just know, I'm also kind of interviewing her.
其实我也算是在面试她
I mean, I know she has my looks,
我知道她跟我们颜值相近
but does she have my naivete?
但她能像我这么天真单纯吗
Is that French for "small boobs"?
那个法语的意思是"小平胸"吗
Max, I know I said this at the airport Arby's,
麦克斯 这话我曾在机场的快餐店说过
but I could totally see you living here.
但我真的能预见你住在这里的画面
Thanks, girl.
多谢 妹子
I could totally see you visiting us.
我也能预见你来拜访我们的画面
And look at this TV from the future.
瞧瞧这台来自未来的电视
Where are the cords?
一根多余的电线都没有
And watch this. Television...
看这个 电视机
give me Samuel L. Jackson.
给我搜塞缪尔·杰克逊
Finding Samuel L. Jackson.
正在寻找塞缪尔·杰克逊
美国著名黑人男演员 曾演过100多部电影
Wow, he's in every movie.
哇 他演的电影真多
He's like the black Kevin Bacon.
他就像黑人版的凯文·贝肯
Dude, can you believe my life?
伙计 你能想象我的人生吗
And you saw that pool out there.
你也看见外面的泳池了
You don't even have to blow it up.
不用帮人吹箫也能进去游泳
Let's go look at it again.
我们再出去看看吧
Excuse me, Antonio? Could you water that cactus?
安东尼奥 你能给仙人掌浇浇水吗
It's looking a little dry.
它看起来有点干
That didn't sound rude to the help, did it?
那样对佣人说话不会很无礼吧
I don't want to be that person.
我可不想成为那种人
Meaning you.
就是你这种
Okay, Jennifer Lawrence will be here any minute,
好了 詹妮弗·劳伦斯随时会来
and, Max, I have to say,
麦克斯 我不得不说
I'm having the best hair day ever.
今天是我史上头发最漂漂的一天
I was having the best hair day ever.
今天曾是我史上头发最漂漂的一天
Dude, Jennifer Lawrence took a helicopter here.
詹妮弗·劳伦斯居然坐直升飞机来这里
That is so baller.
真是好会摆谱啊
No, it's probably the paparazzi following her.
不 那可能是跟她的狗仔队
Leave us be! We're just trying to live!
放过我们吧 我们只想讨生活
This is the police!
我们是警察
There is a dangerous criminal in the area.
这一区有一个危险的罪犯
We are hunting for Walter·Gary·Vance.
我们在追捕沃尔特·加里·万斯
Everyone, go inside.
大家快进屋
This entire area is on lockdown.
整片区域已经被封锁
No one will be allowed to pass the roadblock.
任何人不许越过路障
What're you doing?
你在干嘛
Uh, there's a serial killer on the loose.
有一个连环杀手在逃
I'm doing what all heroes do.
我在做每一位英雄都会做的事
I'm going on Twitter to add to the chatter.
我要上推特当键盘侠啊
Okay, I'm running to my cactus to call J Law's people
我要跑去我那颗仙人掌那 给大表姐的人打电♥话
and make sure she doesn't come out here.
确保她不会过来这边
Stop!
站住
Don't go out there.
别去那里
According to Twitter,
推特上说
the murder is a cannibal,
那凶手会吃人肉
and also according to Twitter,
推特上还说
Khloe Kardashian is feeling the burn.
科勒·卡戴珊在燃烧脂肪
Oh, my God, a cannibal?
我的老天 吃人肉啊
We have to get inside.
我们必须得进去
I have this terrible feeling I'm delicious.
我有种不祥的预感 我很美味
So, here we are.
我们进来了
Safe inside
里面很"安全"
in a house made of glass
房子是玻璃做的
on stilts
我们踩着高跟鞋
in a city long overdue for an earthquake.
走在一个早该地震的城市
We thought you were a crazy murderer.
我们还以为你是疯狂杀人犯呢
I'm not crazy, but I could just
我不疯狂 但我现在能
murder a cheese plate right now.
"杀"掉一盘奶酪
The hills are so exclusive.
这山上真是太私密了
I mean, it's all blocked off.
整片区域都被封锁了
I haven't jumped this many hurdles
我好久没跨过这么多路障了
since the '84 Olympics.
上一次还是84年的奥♥运会
Sophie, what're you doing here?
苏菲 你来干嘛
Jennifer Lawrence's people were trying to reach you,
詹妮弗·劳伦斯的人在找你
so they called the hotel,
于是他们给酒店打电♥话
and to show you some love and kindness,
为了向你表示爱意与善意
I came all the way here to tell you.
我大老远跑来告诉你
Yeah. Do you think that will get me a baby?
没错 你觉得这能让我怀上孩子吗
Not sure, but you can get a baby for 80 bucks on the dark web.
不确定 但你花80块就能在暗网上搞个孩子
暗网上经常会进行一些非法交易 如出♥售♥枪♥支毒品等
And it comes with two outfits.
而且还附送两套衣服哦
What did Jennifer's people say?
詹妮弗的人说了什么
I don't know.
我不知道
So, you just came up here to tell me that they called,
所以你跑过来告诉我 他们打电♥话找我
but you didn't, like, listen to the words?
但你却没有听他们说了什么
Oh, it's never enough for you, is it?
你这人就是永远不知足 对吗
Ohm getting tired of meditating,
我厌倦了冥想
but I think it's working.
但我觉得起作用了
Jennifer Lawrence is probably freaking out
詹妮弗·劳伦斯估计急死了吧
that she can't get to me.
到处都找不到我
The world doesn't revolve around you, bitch.
世界又不是光绕着你一个人转 贱♥人
I can't just stand here anymore.
我不能再在这里干站着了
I'm going outside to get a signal.
我要出去接收手♥机信号
You know what else you can get outside?
你知道你还会在外面"接受"什么事情吗
Ya face eaten.
脸被吃掉
Well, I'm gonna go risk the life I have
我要冒险用我自己的生命
to go get the life I want.
换来我想要的生活
Sounds like a trailer for a Liam Neeson movie.
听起来像是连姆·尼森的电影
Finding Liam Neeson.
正在寻找连姆·尼森
Good luck.
祝你好运
《Taken》又名《飓风营救》 一共拍了三部
That guy's been taken more times than my virginities.
那家伙肉身被人劫持的次数 比我的处女身还多
All right, I got a signal
好了 我收到信号了
and a warning growl from a coyote,
还收到一只土狼的警告嚎叫
but I talked to Jennifer Lawrence's people,
但我跟詹妮弗·劳伦斯的人谈过了
and she and I are gonna FaceTime in 20 minutes.
我和她20分钟后会进行视频通话
If you still have a face.
如果你的脸还没被吃掉的话
Where's Bruno?
布鲁诺去哪儿了
Maybe he's back there in the sauna
可能他在后面的桑拿房
like a little hotdog.
当一条小"热狗"
Where's my big boy?
我的乖狗狗在哪儿
Um, seriously, where's my big boy?
说真的 我的乖狗狗在哪儿
You didn't leave the door open, did you?
你不会刚才没关门吧
No.
没有
I'm sure he's in here somewhere.
我敢保证他在屋里的某处
Bruno? Bruno?
布鲁诺 布鲁诺
Bruno?
布鲁诺
Bruno?
布鲁诺
Finding "Bruno."
正在寻找"布鲁诺"
Max, I'm really sorry.
麦克斯 真的很抱歉
Maybe we could replace the dog
或许我们用一只
with one that looks exactly the same.
外表一模一样的狗来代替它
Like men here do with wives.
就跟这里的男人换老婆一样
Or maybe we don't assume he's dead after six seconds
或者我们先别假设他死了
and we go out there and find him.
一起出去找他
Okay, good luck.
好的 祝你好运
You are coming with me.
你得跟我一起去
Randy loves Bruno,
兰迪爱布鲁诺
and I lo-uh-ike Randy.
而我爱...喜欢兰迪
Don't think I didn't hear what you almost said.
别以为我没听见你差点说出口的那句话
- We need to find the dog. - But it's getting dark
-我们得找到那只狗 -可天越来越黑了
and there's someone out there who wants to kill us.
外面还有人想要杀掉我们
Trust me, there's someone in there who wants to kill you.
相信我 里面也有人想要杀掉你
Flashlights. We need flashlights.
手电 我们需要手电
You lo-uh-ike him.
你爱...喜欢他
Now there are two people in here who want to kill you.
现在这里有两个人想杀掉你
Come here, big boy.
快出来 乖狗狗
God, how could he have gotten this far on such little legs?
天啊 他腿这么短怎么能跑这么远
I don't know, Danny DeVito seems to get around a lot.
我不知道 丹尼·德·维托貌似也爱到处跑
美国著名喜剧男演员 身高152cm
Even when you tell Randy this is 100% your fault,
即使你告诉兰迪这全是你的错
he is still gonna break up with me.
他还是会跟我分手
Max, you've been with him four days.
麦克斯 你才跟他在一起四天
I know, it's my longest relationship.
我知道 这是我时间最长的恋爱
I'm really sorry, Max. We'll find him.
真的很抱歉 麦克斯 我们会找到他的
Oh, my God!
老天
- What, you see Bruno? - No, I see bars on my phone.
-你看见布鲁诺了吗 -不 我手♥机有信号了
We have to stay right here.
我们得待在这里别动
It's almost time for my FaceTime.
我视频的时间快到了
Give me that stupid thing.
把那该死的手♥机给我
I'll put it down my pants.
我要收进我的裤子里
And I'll go get it.
那我就伸手去掏
You gotta focus
你得专心
and help me find that dog.
帮我找到那条狗
I don't want to ruin things with Randy
我不想搞砸和兰迪的关系 失去他
or his house.
或失去他的房子
Max, this is so far past boundaries.
麦克斯 这太过界了
Oh, don't talk to me about boundaries.
别跟我说什么界限
Who let the dog out? Who?
是谁把狗放出去的 谁
Who-who-who-who?
谁 谁 谁[有同词歌曲]
As I said to Kevin Burlington my sophomore year of college,
我大二那年也是这么对凯文·伯灵顿说
"Just take it."
"接受事实吧"
This is serious.
这事很严重
Randy has given me so much.
兰迪给了我很多
Sunglasses, gift baskets,
眼镜 礼品篮
an orgasm with eye contact.
四目相对的高♥潮
- Oh, my God. - I know.
-我的老天 -我知道
Usually, I have to push their face away.
通常我都直接把男人的脸推开
No, look.
不 你看
We're at the foot of the Hollywood sign.
我们在好莱坞标牌的底端
Quick selfie?
来张自♥拍啊
I mean, we have to, right?
必须得拍啊 不是吗
On the way back, once we find the dog.
先找到狗 等回来的时候再拍
Which we are definitely going to do.
这事我们一定得做
Jennifer Lawrence is calling.
詹妮弗·劳伦斯打来了
Did you just hang up on J Law?
你居然挂了大表姐的电♥话
I'm pretty sure that's against the J Law.
我很确定这违反了"表"法
You're out here because you lost Randy's dog,
你现在在外面 是因为你弄丢了兰迪的狗
and there's a strange man standing over there,
那边还站了一个陌生男人
and all you can think about is Jennifer Lawrence.
而你满脑子却只有詹妮弗·劳伦斯
Did you just say there's a strange man standing over there?
你刚是说那边站了一个陌生男人吗
Oh, my God, I did.
天啊 是的
Look...
瞧
See there, the old guy in the stained sweat suit.
是一个穿着脏兮兮运动服的老阿伯
Oh, he must be Randy's neighbor.
他肯定是兰迪的邻居
What's he doing out here?
他在外面干什么
Oh, you found Bruno!
你找到布鲁诺了
It's so funny, for a second
真有意思 刚才有一瞬间
I thought he was the cannibal murderer.
我还以为他是吃人肉的杀人狂呢
Oh, my God, he has a knife.
天啊 他手里拿着刀
Maybe he's just opening packages.
或许他在拆包裹呢
Come here. Come here, big boy.
过来 快过来 乖狗狗
- Uh...run, Max! - Come here, big boy.
-快跑 麦克斯 -过来 乖狗狗
- Come on. - Nothing to eat here.
-快 -这里没啥可吃
I'm stringy and chewy.
我肉硬又难嚼
Quick!
快
Quick, up here!
快 上去
Maybe the helicopters will see us.
或许直升飞机会看见我们
Yeah, and if not,
是啊 如果看不见
we can throw ourselves off the O.
我们可以从"O"标牌跳下来自杀
I refuse to get eaten by an old man...
我拒绝被一个老头吃掉
without a bank account.
而且是连银行户头都没有的老头
Can cannibals climb?
食人狂魔会爬上来吗
Well, they're not called "Climbables," So that's good.
他们不是"爬梯狂魔" 所以应该没事
Is he still there?
他还在那里吗
Well, we'll know in a second
我们很快就会知道了
'cause you're screaming within earshot
因为在一个饥饿的食人族旁边大叫
of a hungry people-eater.
他听得到好吗
You are surrounded! Put your hands up!
你被包围了 把你的双手举起来
Max, the police are here.
麦克斯 警察来了
We're safe. We're safe.
我们安全了 安全了
Speak for yourself.
那是你而已
I'm technically under house arrest in Connecticut.
严格说来 我应该在康州服在家软禁刑法
I let him eat ice cream.
我让他吃冰淇淋
He deserves it.
这是他应得的
Who had a rough day yesterday?
谁昨天过得很不顺呀
I am really sorry, Randy.
真的很抱歉 兰迪
You must think I'm as irresponsible as I am.
你一定认为我是一个不负责任的人
This is where you cry
你该出场了 快哭着
and tell him it's all you and I'm perfect.
告诉他都是你的错 而我是一个完人
Sorry, I was just thinking,
抱歉 我刚在想
that dog's gums and teeth look healthier than mine.
那狗的牙齿和牙龈看起来比我的还健康
I still can't believe my neighbor
我至今仍不敢相信我的邻居
was Walter Gary Vance the cannibal.
居然是食人狂魔沃尔特·加里·万斯
And honestly, it was way worse living next to Courtney Love.
老实说 这比住在科特妮·洛芙隔壁还糟得多
美国摇滚女歌手 曾吸毒裸奔 名声不好
I mean, it's not that hard.
其实我要求也不高
Blue bins are for recycling,
蓝色垃♥圾箱是可回收物
Tuesdays are street cleaning,
每周二是街道清扫
Don't do heroin on my porch.
不要在我门廊吸毒
Yeah, that's a driveway sport.
是啊 那是一项私家车道上的"运动"
Look, Bruno's gotten out before,
布鲁诺以前也曾跑出去过
but the fact that you went out there to look for him
但你们特意跑出去找他
and risked your lives.
还冒着生命危险
I mean, you were fearless.
你们真勇敢
Pfft, whatever. Maybe a little.
随便吧 或许有那么一点吧
Ugh, great. Jennifer Lawrence just passed.
这下好了 詹妮弗·劳伦斯拜拜了
She's dead?
她死了吗
No, she passed on the movie.
不 她跟我的电影拜拜了
It's her loss.
那是她的损失
Well, it's your loss, but I feel like I owe you
好吧 是你的损失 但我觉得欠你人情
for risking your life to find my boyfriend's dog.
毕竟你冒着生命危险去找我男朋友的狗
Not that you're my boyfriend,
不是说你是我的男朋友啊
'cause gross.
因为超恶心
I'd be lucky to be your boyfriend.
能当你的男朋友 真是三生有幸
If I was, which yuck, I'm not.
提前是我是 但幸好我不是
Hey, everybody.
大家安安
Look, I'm spiritually evolved now.
瞧瞧 我的精神已经升华了
Yeah, you know, the meditating was screwing up
my knees,
是啊 冥想让我的膝盖难受
so I bought this getup from an Indian woman at a bus stop.
所以我从公车站的一个印度女人那买♥了这装束
Yeah, it's a lot easier.
印度跟冥想差不多 这样轻松多了
Sophie, those flowers are beautiful.
苏菲 这束花真美
Yeah...
是啊
and they're for you.
这是送你的
What're they gonna do to me?
这束花会对我做什么吗
They're an act of love and kindness.
它们代表的是爱意和善意之举
Sophie, that's literally the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
苏菲 这真是你对我说过最好听的话了
Oh, yeah.
是啊
I don't know if it's my aura's clean,
我不知道是不是因为我灵气变干净了
or it's the 12.95 Bindi dot I'm wearing,
还是这颗价值12.95元的眉心痣作祟
but I really do mean it.
但我是真的发自内心的
Oh, Sophie, no. That's dog ice cream.
苏菲 别吃 那是狗吃的冰淇淋
Mind your own business, bitch!
少多管闲事 婊砸
And we're back.
一秒钟破功