卡罗琳紧张和麦克斯的友谊
Welcome to the Williamsburg Diner.
欢迎光临威廉斯堡餐厅
Your lifespan just decreased by one meal.
这一顿饭将助你缩年减寿
Would you like to order now
你是要现在点餐
or after that galaxy is destroyed?
还是等那星系被毁灭后点
Oh, dude, I can hold up one finger, too,
兄弟 我也能对你竖起一根手指
and trust me; it won't be that one.
相信我 绝对不是食指
Booth one is all yours.
一号卡座归你了
If I wanted to deal with a guy
如果我想跟一个
who won't even acknowledge my existence,
不愿正视我存在的男人打交道
I'd track down my father.
我早去找我爹了
Makeup needs to complement the personality.
妆容得填补你个性上的不足
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
抱歉 没在听
Mr. Eye Queen's about to show me how to pluck my eyebrows.
眼后正要教我怎么拔眉毛
Finally.
终于啊
I've been telling you for a year you need to get plucked.
我都跟你说了一年了 你得拔拔眉毛
Pick up. Fried egg over easy.
上菜 半熟蛋
Correction: make that over hard.
修正 是全"硬"
Max, that's Earl's order.
麦克斯 那是厄尔点的
Can you?
帮忙一下吧
You know, I could just check out
我也能时间一到下班走人
and phone in this job, too,
工作时浑水摸鱼啊
but I promised myself
但我答应过自己
I'd never grow up to be my gynecologist.
长大后绝不当我妇科医生那样的人
Earl, I know you remember a time
厄尔 我知道你一定还记得
where people still made eye contact
人们彼此间会有眼神交流
and get the fact that I was totally dissing them.
能看到我眼中鄙视的那段美好时光
It's a damn shame, Max.
真是太遗憾了 麦克斯
Thank you, Earl.
谢谢 厄尔
The Mets are down in the bottom of the sixth.
纽约大都会棒球队六局下半了还落后
Now you have one?
连你都有智能手机了吗
Earl, three months ago,
厄尔 三个月之前
you thought T-Mobile was a rapper.
你还以为T电信是饶舌歌手名呢
Max, I want to talk to you.
麦克斯 我想跟你说件事
Well, why not?
有何不可
Everyone else is listening to something tiny
大家也都在听着亚洲产的
and made in Asia.
小东西说话
I just heard the funniest joke.
我刚听到了世上最好笑的笑话
A guy is driving a car up a hill
有个男的开车上坡
and he sees a pig in the road.
他看到路上有只猪
Wait. Oh yes, I forgot.
对了 我忘了一部分
It's raining.
当时正下着雨
It's raining, and there is a pig.
当时正下着雨 路上有只猪
I'm listening.
我听着呢
And then the pig is in the car--
然后猪在车子上
no, the pig is in the road,
不对 猪在路上
and--I'll be right back.
然后... 我马上回来
Thank you. Come again.
谢谢 欢迎再度光临
Hey, what do you want to do after work tonight?
今晚下班后你想做什么
Maybe we could go to that trendy new ice cream place
我们可以一起去那家很潮只卖果汁的
that only sells juice.
新冰激凌店啊
Nah, I'm too tired.
不要 我太累了
I've been on my feet since 2003.
我从03年开始就没坐下休息过
Hi, can I get a red velvet--
我能要一个红丝绒...
Oh, my God, Max Black?
天啊 麦克斯·布莱克[黑]
Oh, my God, Becky White?
我勒个去 贝姬·怀特[白]
Holy crap. How long has it been?
哇靠 我们都多久没见面了
Let's see. When was I on "Intervention"?
我上次上《批斗会》节目是哪年的事了
美国真人秀节目 实拍有酗酒 暴力 吸毒的人 访问其家庭成员 让他们说服主角同意接受帮助
Well, your hair's grown back on the right side,
你的头发又长回好看的那边了
so I'd say five years.
所以我猜大概五年了吧
Hi, I'm Caroline.
你好 我叫卡洛琳
I'd wait for Max to introduce me,
我也想等麦克斯跟你介绍我
but she usually tells people
但她通常告诉别人
I'm Taylor Swift's slow cousin Randi.
我是泰勒·斯威夫特弱智的表姐 兰蒂
卡洛琳85年出生 麦克斯86年 泰勒8♥9年
Nice to meet you.
幸会
Max, I did not think you would still be alive.
麦克斯 我真没想到你还活着
I owe you $10.
那我赌输你十块
Becky's an actress.
贝姬是个女演员
I just saw her in "Law and Order."
我才看了她出演电视剧《法律与秩序》
She owned "Deli worker who barely knew the victim."
她演"跟被害人不太熟的熟食店员"超精彩
Yeah, I've done three "Law and Orders."
对啊 我演过三次《法律与秩序》了
Pretty easy work.
工作挺简单的
They usually find me in a trunk.
我的尸首通常在某人后车厢被人发现
How do you two know each other?
你们怎么认识的
Max and I waited tables together.
麦克斯跟我以前一起当过服务员
Well, mostly stood around and got drunk,
其实通常就干站着跟喝醉酒
but they paid us.
但还是薪水拿啊
Nice shop.
小店不错
Looks like you guys have a business together too.
看来你们俩也一起做生意啊
Too?
也有
You two too?
你们也有过吗
We invented an Uber just for women.
我们发明了只服务女性的优步
Boober.
奶步
It would've been awesome,
其实应该挺有前景的
except we didn't have an app...or a car.
不过我们没有软件 或车
Hey, forget about this cupcake.
别管这小蛋糕店了
I just got paid.
我刚发薪水
How about drinks on me?
我请喝酒怎么样
And by drinks, I mean one PBR each.
我说的请喝酒 是指一人一瓶蓝带啤酒
I guess I could do drinks.
我也不介意喝一杯
Do you mind closing up? Thanks.
能麻烦你负责打烊吗 谢啦
I'll meet you out front.
我出来前门找你
Awesome.
赞
Nice meeting you, Brandi.
很高兴认识你 布兰蒂
It's Randi!
是兰蒂
Hey, Earl, what's shaking?
厄尔 还好吗[摇晃]
Max, I'm pushing 80.
麦克斯 我都要80岁了
真是1937年出生
The easier question is, "What isn't shaking?"
你问"有啥不在摇晃"比较好答
Max, where were you last night?
麦克斯 你昨晚上哪去了
I had to watch "Carson Daly" alone and say,
害我得自己看《卡森·达利秀》
《Last Call with Carson Daly》2002年初开播 目前已1600多集
"This show's still on?" to no one.
然后跟自己吐槽"这节目还在播啊"
I crashed on Becky's couch,
我昨晚在贝姬家沙发上睡了
of which-- you're not gonna believe this--
而且 说了你也不敢信
she is the first owner.
沙发居然是她新买的呢
So did you guys have fun last night,
你们昨晚玩得开心吗
or was it weird because you've grown apart?
还是已渐行渐远所以挺尴尬
Let's just say we're gonna be in not one,
这么说吧 我俩好到要去参加
but two wedding albums.
两个婚礼了
Becky can dance her some hora.
贝姬可会跳犹太婚礼圆圈舞呢
Fun.
好玩
That's so fun that you had fun.
你玩得好真是太好玩了
Uh, what's happening here?
你这是闹哪样
I guess I just thought we were...
我以为我们是...
Forget it.
算了 不说了
Oh, no, please.
千万别
It's like watching a bird fly into a window in slow motion.
这就像在看一只鸟要撞上窗户的慢动作版
Well, you know, I thought we were exclusive,
我还以为我们专属彼此
for lack of a better word.
我想不到更好的词了
What, like monogamous?
"一夫一妻"这样的词吗
You thought we were in a monogamous friendship?
你觉得我们是一夫一妻般的友谊吗
I'm not even monogamous with the people I'm monogamous with.
我跟我该一夫一妻的人 都不是一夫一妻制了
What is the big deal?
这有啥大不了啊
You had friends before we were friends.
在我们成为朋友前 你也有朋友啊
Bunch of rich bitches.
一帮有钱婊
You guys talking about that show, "Friends"?
你们是在聊电视剧《老友记》吗
People always say, "Why was there no black friend?"
人们总说"为什么里面没有黑人老友"
Because no reasonable black man
因为任何一个脑子没病的黑人
would hang out with those people.
都不会跟那帮人当朋友
He's been waiting to get that off his chest
他等着说出这段话
since the mid-'90s.
大概等了20♥年了吧
You know what I just realized?
你知道我刚意识到什么吗
I've never tried to make friends as a not-rich person.
我还没有试过以穷人身份跟人交朋友
You made friends with me.
你交了我这个朋友啊
Against my will, but still.
虽然我被强迫中奖 但也算数啊
Guess what I'm doing?
你猜我要干嘛
Motivating me to look at resumes on monster.com?
给我上求职网站看人履历的动力吗
I'm gonna make a friend right now.
我现在要去跟人交朋友
There's a girl in my section with clean-ish looking hair.
我服务区有一个头发称得上干净的姑娘
Speaking of hair, pick up.
说到"毛发" 上菜
Cobb salad.
科布沙拉
Max, how's this for my friend-making smile?
麦克斯 我这个交友笑容如何
Do you have more teeth than me?
你的牙齿总数是不是比我多啊
Here's you salad. Dressing on the side.
这是您的沙拉 调味料分开放了
I'm sort of a "DOS" gal myself.
我自己也是"调分放"那种女孩
Okay.
好的
Thanks.
谢谢
Maybe we should, I don't know, grab a couple salads sometime.
或许我们哪天应该一起把沙拉言欢
The Yelp review specifically said
点评网♥特别说了
I would be ignored by the waitstaff.
服务员绝对不会鸟我
There's hair in your salad.
你的沙拉里有"毛"
Excuse me.
不好意思
The water's supposed to be that color.
这里的水就是那个颜色
No, no.
不 不是的
I just think it's cool how brave you were
我觉得你这么勇敢很酷
to put yourself out there like that.
敢于跟陌生人交朋友
I haven't been called cool since I had a black card
我上一次被说酷 还是拥有一张黑卡
and owned 3/4 of an island.
与3/4个岛的时候呢
I'm Rachel. This is Kathy.
我叫瑞秋 这位是凯西
I'm Caroline,
我叫卡洛琳
and you have no idea how brave I am.
你们绝对想不到我有多勇敢
You should see where I shower.
你们应该看看我洗澡的地方
She should come to our party.
她应该来参加♥我们的派对
She just moved to Williamsburg,
她刚搬来威廉斯堡
and we're having a party tomorrow.
我们明天打算举办一个派对
- You should come. - Oh, you know what?
-你应该一起来 -其实呢
I'm busy tomorrow night because I'm going to your party!
我明晚有点忙 因为我要去参加你的派对
I've seen people with podcasts less desperate for approval.
那些搞播客的人都没她这么渴求认同
Max, I had the most amazing night.
麦克斯 我昨晚玩得超开心
Me too. Becky just left.
我也是 贝姬刚走
She has to get up early tomorrow.
她明天得早起
Not to brag, but she's playing a dead hooker
不是要炫耀 但她要在电视剧《警察世家》中
on "Blue Bloods."
演死掉的妓♥女
Oh, so she came here for research.
所以她来这里做调查学习吗
Anyways, my new friends Rachel and Kathy
我的新朋友们瑞秋与凯西
and everybody there were so warm and positive.
以及派对上的所有人都好温暖与正能量
It was so refreshing to be around people
跟一群发愤图强并努力向前的人相处
who were super driven and focused.
好让人精神振作啊
And we had such interesting conversations.
而且昨晚我们的聊天特别有意思
Honestly, after talking to them,
老实说 跟她们聊完天后
I felt like anything is possible.
我觉得没有什么事是做不到的
Oh, you guys did molly?
你们嗑药啦
Now I'm jealous.
现在我嫉妒了
These people don't need drugs to be happy.
这些人不需要靠嗑药来快乐
Oh, so it's a cult.
所以是邪教
How did you get cult from that?
你是从哪推理出他们是邪教
You think the only way I can make friends
你觉得我唯一能交到朋友的方法
is by joining a cult?
就是加入邪教吗
No.
不是
You could also always have gum.
你也可以靠分享口香糖交友啊
In fact, they're so nice,
其实 他们人好到
they invited you to come for the weekend.
他们邀请你一起去欢度周末
Fresh country air.
新鲜乡村空气
- No thanks. - Gorgeous views.
-恕难从命 -美丽自然风光
- Not for me. - Free food and booze.
-欣赏无能 -免♥费食物酒水
I could be in a cult for the weekend.
我不介意周末加入一下邪教
This place is amazing.
这里真是太棒了
I know. Fancy.
对啊 高大上
And that was the first bus I've been on
刚才那也是我第一次坐巴士
where I didn't see an under-the-blanket handy.
没有碰到有人用衣服盖着玩"鸟"
I'm Topher. From the bus.
我叫"托福儿" 刚才坐同一班巴士
You were throwing sunflower seeds in my hair.
你刚才一直丢葵花籽到我头发上
This is Lady Marmalade.
她叫果酱女郎
People named Topher shouldn't be allowed
名字叫托福儿的人不应该有
to name other living things.
命名其他活体生物的权利
Please don't make fun of her.
请不要取笑她
She has seasonal depression.
她有季节性抑郁症
We both do.
我俩都有
Hey, Caroline, I'm so glad you could come.
卡洛琳 你来真是太好了
And you must be...
想必你就是...
Starving.
饿死鬼投胎
Just give me the tray.
整盘直接给我就行了
This is Max.
她是麦克斯
Thank you so much for inviting us.
谢谢你邀请我们一起来
Yeah, the last invitation we got was to audition for porn.
我们上次被人邀请 是去面试拍黄♥片
Less of an invitation;
也不太算是邀请
more of a shout from a convertible.
基本上就是敞篷车里有人喊
"You girls want to do porn?"
"美女们有兴趣拍黄♥片吗"
Well, Elaine will be out in a minute,
伊莱恩很快就会出来
so in the meantime, just be your awesome self.
在此之前 就继续当你们棒棒哒自己吧
Isn't she great?
她是不是很赞
So see? It's nice here.
你看 这里很好
And you thought it was a cult.
你还觉得这里是邪教呢
I also thought peanuts never touched the eggs at the diner,
我也曾以为餐厅里的花生没沾到蛋上呢
but then that lady died.
结果那女士过敏翘辫子了
Welcome, everyone.
欢迎各位
Hi, Elaine.
你好啊 伊莱恩
There are only two rules in this house:
这个屋子里只有两条规矩
love one another
彼此友爱
and don't talk to the neighbors.
以及不许跟邻居说话
I hate them.
我恨死他们了
I'm so glad you all could make it.
我很高兴你们大家全都能出席
Oh, except Jerry.
除了杰瑞不能来
He's getting LASIK.
他去做激光矫正手术
He should've listened. I told him to eat more kale.
他当初就该听我的 我让他多吃甘蓝菜
Kale is good for the eyes.
甘蓝菜对眼睛好
Okay.
好了
Now make yourselves at home.
大家把这里当自己家吧
You mean don't pay our rent
是指不付房租
and hide every time we hear someone in the hall?
一听到走廊有人就躲起来吗
Elaine, this is Caroline,
伊莱恩 这位是卡洛琳
our new friend.
我们的新朋友
Hello, Caroline.
你好 卡洛琳
I've heard so many wonderful things.
久仰美名
And you are?
这位是
Looking for some dipping sauces.
正在寻觅蘸酱
I'm Max.
我是麦克斯
A lady who knows what she wants. I like that.
一位知道自己想要什么的姑娘 我喜欢
My ex-husband knew what he wanted:
我的前夫也知道自己想要什么
to be a woman.
成为一名女性
And now he is.
他做到了
I miss her.
我好想她
And all my shoes.
以及我的所有鞋子
I hear you, sister.
我理解你的心情 姐们
But seriously, something like a honey mustard
但说真的 有没有蜂蜜芥末酱
or really anything in the Dijon world.
或任何法式芥末酱都行
Whoo, she's a tough nut.
哇 这果子不好啃
My favorite kind.
我的最爱
Except for cashews.
腰果除外
Max, Elaine is amazing.
麦克斯 伊莱恩赞赞哒
Look around.
环顾四周
This is my new social circle.
这就是我的新社交圈
This is the saddest circle I've seen
这是我见过最悲哀的圈了
since my mom peed on the floor at Wal-Mart.
上一次是我妈在沃尔玛地板上尿出个圈
Can you just admit it's not a cult?
你就不能承认这不是邪教吗
Everyone gather 'round.
大家围过来
Let's have some mutual eye contact.
我们来进行相互眼神交流
That's nice. That's just being a person.
这个好 正常人都该这样
Look to the person next to you,
望向站在你身旁的人
and open the door to them with your eyes.
用你的双眼 向他们打开心灵大门
Bitch, that door is locked.
小贱♥人 姐的那扇门关死了
Nicely done.
干得漂亮
All right, everyone.
好了 各位
I'd like us to recite our mantra.
跟我一起背诵我们的真言
My best is my best, and that's why I'm blessed.
最佳自我在心中 上天保佑必不空
My best is my best,
最佳自我在心中
and that's why I'm blessed.
上天保佑必不空
Don't mumble, Connie.
别含糊不清 康妮
My best is my best,
最佳自我在心中
and that's why I'm blessed.
上天保佑必不空
Okay, it's a cult.
好吧 的确是邪教
Little bit.
有那么一点啦
My best is my best...
最佳自我在心中
All right, everyone.
好了 各位
Let the sound of the bowls wash over you,
让碗的声音洗涤你们
cleansing you from head to toe
净化全身 从头到脚
and everywhere in-between.
由外而内
These bowls got their work cut out for them.
这年头当个碗也不容易啊
Everyone, close your eyes and quiet the mind,
各位 请闭上眼 放空大脑
and receive the healing vibrations.
感受治愈的心灵震波
Sound bathe us, Eugene.
让我们沐浴在声音里吧 尤金
When you feel called to join the bowls,
当你们感知到碗的召唤
begin with a soft...
开始轻柔地...
I usually begin with a soft hummer.
我一般是从轻柔地口♥交开始
How are we gonna get out of this?
我们要怎么摆脱这个...
Let's just call it what it is:
不如实事求是地叫它
a cult.
邪教
I'm not going anywhere
我哪儿也不去
until I see what's in those bowls.
除非等我看了碗里有什么
I'm hoping for fettuccini.
我希望是意大利宽面
I hope it's not fettuccini
我希望不是意大利宽面
because I really don't like cream-based sauces.
因为我真的不喜欢奶油为主的酱料
Do you mind?
闭嘴行吗
This is important for Lady Marmalade.
这对果酱女郎很重要
She has fibromyalgia.
她有纤维肌痛症
Fibromyalgia and seasonal depression?
纤维肌痛症和季节性抑郁
You really won the dog lottery.
你这条算是头奖级的神犬啊
All right, everyone.
好了 各位
You may gently bring your energy
等你们准备好了 就可以
back into the room
缓缓将你们的能量
whenever you feel ready.
带回这间房间
We got to get out of here.
我们必须离开这里
What are we gonna do? We're in the middle of nowhere.
我们该怎么办 这地方荒无人烟
You know what would save the day right now?
你知道啥能拯救我们于水深火热中吗
Boober.
奶步
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Did anything come up for you during the sound bath?
声音洗礼时 你有感受到什么吗
A little bit of the chicken satay, but all good.
感受到沙嗲鸡肉串反胃 但还好
Max, how are you?
麦克斯 你呢
Were you touched at all?
你有任何触动吗
In high school, I was touched by an angel.
在高中时 我被一位天使[触]摸过
Well, technically, his name was...
严格来说 他的名字叫
Angel.
天使
I know this probably all seems like a lot of hooey,
我知道这一切看上去就像是胡说八道
but I assure you you'll wake up feeling refreshed.
但我保证你们醒来会觉得神清气爽
And Eugene makes a hell of a pancake breakfast.
尤金做的煎饼早餐超级好吃
He uses ricotta.
他用的是意大利乳清奶酪哦
We're staying.
我们必须留下
I mean, ricotta? We gotta.
乳清奶酪 汝请留下
I guess so.
那好吧
It'll be like staying at a B and B
就像待在提供住宿和早餐的旅馆
run by a lame Ron Hubbard.
老板是无说服力版的科学神教教主
Goodnight, everyone.
晚安 各位
Rachel has your room assignments.
瑞秋已经把你们的房间安排好了
Caroline, you're sharing a room with me.
卡洛琳 你跟我住一间
Yay.
好棒
Max, you're sharing a room with Topher and Lady Marmalade.
麦克斯 你跟托福儿和果酱女郎住一间
Can I ever get a good roommate?
为啥我从来都捞不着好室友
And do not fear.
别害怕
Before the night is over, each of you will have a chance
黎明破晓前 你们每个人都有机会
to make love with me.
跟我做♥爱
And the rest of the satay just came up.
其余的鸡肉串也反上来了
Before the sunrise, our moons will unite.
日出之前 我们的月亮将会合一
Well, I'm guessing her moon's not waxed.
我猜她的"月亮"肯定没除毛
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Caroline.
卡洛琳
Caroline, where are you?
卡洛琳 你在哪里
Caroline?
卡洛琳
I thought you were gonna be Elaine...
我还以为你是伊莱恩
and I'm not drunk enough for that!
我还不够醉 "干"不下去啊
By the way, the piglet's popping the snout out.
对了 你的粉红猪把鼻头拱出来了
Oh, I thought you were gonna be Elaine.
我还以为你是伊莱恩
And I thought I was gonna be dead at 14,
我还以为我14岁时会死掉呢
but you can't always get what you want.
但你总不可能事事顺心吧
Max!
麦克斯
Max, oh, my God. Are you okay?
麦克斯 天啊 你没事吧
Please tell me Elaine didn't get to you.
拜托告诉我 伊莱恩没有对你下手
I could never live with myself.
否则我会没脸活下去
Or you.
或跟你住下去
I'm sorry it took me so long to climax.
抱歉我这么久才到达高♥潮
I know I was almost there for quite some time.
我知道我在高♥潮门前好一阵子才成功进去
Max, Caroline, what are you doing out here?
麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们俩在外面干嘛
We were just anxiously awaiting
我们迫切地等待
intercourse with you.
您的临幸
Really?
真的吗
'Cause unless that bag's full of marital aids,
因为除非那袋子装的全是情趣用具
it looks like you're trying to sneak out.
否则你们看起来是想溜走
Look, Elaine,
听着 伊莱恩
this is all a lot, and no offense,
这一切我很难接受 无意冒犯
but you can't be the first person
但我今年的第一炮
I have sex with this year.
对象不能是你
I understand that you're both feeling a little
overwhelmed,
我明白你们俩都觉得有点不知所措
but before you go, why don't we discuss this as a group
但在你们走之前 我们何不以集体的形式
in a healing way?
疗愈般地讨论一下
All right, Eugene, stay where you are.
好的 尤金 待着别动
You need some rest.
你需要休息
Maybe a little protein.
或许需要补充蛋白质
So you know what? We're just gonna go.
不如我们直接走吧
You can tell that guy at the door
你可以跟门口那人说
he can just step aside so we can,
让他让开 好让我们...
you know, start running.
你懂的 飞奔离开
Caroline, you are free to go at any time.
卡洛琳 你们随时都可以走
So we can go right now?
那我们可以现在走吗
No.
不行
Caroline, why don't you sit here, and Rachel,
卡洛琳 你何不坐这边 瑞秋
bring Max over by the gong.
把麦克斯带到锣那边
Siri, remind me to patent a gong bong.
Siri 记得提醒我申请锣烟枪[音似]的专利
Also remind me to get a phone with Siri.
顺便提醒我弄个有Siri的手机
Now, I know some of you have not yet laid with me tonight...
我知道今晚还有人没能跟我上床
But it's come to my attention
但我注意到
that we have an N.N. in our midst.
我们中间有一位NN
- What? - Who?
-什么 -是谁
Quick Q on the N.N.
问一下 什么是NN
Do either of those Ns stand for nachos?
这个N是代表玉米脆片的意思吗
N.N. stands for Negative Nelly.
NN代表的是"消极的奈利"
Negative Nancy形容总是抱怨过于消极的人
Negative Nancy was already trademarked
"消极的南希"已经被另一个抢注了
by another group run by my ex-husband, Nancy.
而那个团体的领导是我的前夫 南希
Caroline, do you have any idea who this N.N. could be?
卡洛琳 你知道这个NN可能会是谁人吗
I believe it's "whom" And no, I don't.
你是要问"谁"吗 我不知道
Caroline, are you where you want to be in life?
卡洛琳 你现在过着你想要的人生吗
Oh, God, no.
差了十万八千里
And would you say there's someone holding you back?
你会觉得是因为某人在扯你后腿吗
Well, I do feel like
我的确是觉得
hearing about Amy Schumer every day
每天听女演员艾米·舒默的事
makes me feel a little "less than."
有点让我感到无力
Caroline, is there someone in this room
卡洛琳 在这间屋子里的某人
who you brought with brown hair
就是你带来的那位棕发人士
whose Negative Nelly-ness
她的消极奈利气息
is blocking you in ways you don't even realize?
是不是阻挡了你的前路而你不自知呢
Wait a minute.
等等
I'm starting to think this is about me.
我怎么开始感觉到是在说我
Just having spent a few short hours with Max
经过短短几小时与麦克斯的相处
and recording all your conversations...
并录下了你们所有的对话
It's pretty clear
很显然
that she is undermining your path to success
她在你的成功道路上
with her wisecracks and wordplay.
用她的俏皮话与双关语在搞破坏
Look.
听我说
Max might seem negative, because she is,
麦克斯看起来可能很消极 她也的确是
but you would be, too, if you were her.
但如果你的人生像她一般 你也会消极
She's been neglected, rejected,
她这一生被人忽视 拒之门外
knocked down, and spat on.
被人击倒 吐口水
Some of that was consensual.
其中某些是相互的
See? That was positive.
你看 这就很正面积极啊
So you will give up all these potential connections
所以你愿意放弃这一切潜在人脉
just for her?
就为了她一人吗
Caroline, I used to live in Jersey City,
卡洛琳 我曾经住在泽西城
and now I live in a better part of New Jersey.
而我现在搬到新泽西更好的地区了呢
Elaine, I thought I needed to make new friends,
伊莱恩 我本以为我需要交些新朋友
and that's how I wound up here,
所以我才沦落到这里
but turns out all I needed was Max.
但原来 我只需要麦克斯一人
I'll take my chances with her.
我愿意在她身上赌一把
Huge mistake.
天大的错误啊
Huge.
天大
Well, then you're free to go.
那两位走吧
Just need to settle up your bill.
把账结了就行了
This weekend is only free for friends.
这周末派对只对朋友免♥费
Rachel.
瑞秋
I ate $700 worth of shrimp?
我吃了一只价值700块的虾吗
That seems about right.
感觉的确是差不多这个数
We can't pay that.
我们不能付这个钱
Is there a ship we can scrub?
有船需要我们清理
Or a gay celebrity we can marry?
还是同志名人需要形婚的吗
Don't worry. I'll settle up with Elaine.
别担心 我来跟伊莱恩处理
Do you accept nature's credit card?
你收上天恩赐的信用卡吗
Get out.
滚出去
I can't believe the only way I can make a friend
真不敢相信我唯一能交到朋友的方法
is to join a cult.
是加入邪教
Well, you made friends with me, and I'm not in a
cult...
你跟我交了朋友啊 我不是邪教中人
anymore.
已金盆洗手
Max, are you and I gonna be like you and Becky
someday?
麦克斯 有一天我们也能像你跟贝姬那
样吗
Not unless one of us gets really, really,
除非我们其中一人能变得超级超级
I mean, so much cooler.
是变得比现在酷炫超级多才行
I'm serious.
我是认真的
Am I gonna be just some waitress you used to know?
我会不会就只是你的某个服务员同事
'Cause that would kill me.
这样我会心碎的
I don't think of you that way at all.
我从来不这样想你
I mean as a waitress.
我是指 你不够格当服务员
Look, yes, Becky and I worked together,
的确 我跟贝姬曾经是同事
and yes, we had kind of a business dream, too,
也的确 我们也曾一起有过一个创业梦想
but you and I have so much more than that.
但你和我所拥有的远远不止如此
You and I are about to die in the woods.
你跟我马上就要死在森林里了
Look.
你看
We are getting in that car
我们绝对要上这台车
even if this guy has a hook for a hand.
哪怕车主其中一只手是钩子
Wazzup?
还好咩
Hey, girls.
姑娘们
I never thought I'd be happy to see Oleg
我从没想过大晚上在阴暗的马路上
on a dark road at night.
见到奥列格会这么开心
Sophie, what are you guys doing here?
苏菲 你们俩在这里干嘛呢
Oh, well, Max texted me her location.
麦克斯把所在位置发给我了
Said if I didn't hear back from her,
说如果她没有回复消息
you'd been abducted by the cult and to come rescue you.
就表示你们被邪教挟持 得来救你们
I was in a cult once.
我也曾入过魔教
It's called Avon.
入过"雅芳"的魔
So you were so certain I couldn't make a normal friend
所以你早早就确定我交不到普通朋友
you had an escape plan?
所以先安排好逃生计划吗
Hey, sometimes my negativity pays off.
有时候我"消极有好报"啊
Sometimes it gets me in mall jail.
而有时候则会害我被关进百货拘留所