鸟姐妹（2019）

是的
Yes.
是的 我…我可以去掉那部分
Yes. I, I can get rid of that part
但是一座房♥子就像一首歌♥
but a house is like music.
你知道 只要改变一个音符
You know, you change one note
整个旋律就会跑调的
and the melody is off-key.
这是客户的决定 斑斑
It's the client's decision, speckle.
你改就是了
Just change it.
好吧
Of course.
谢谢 弗朗辛
Thanks, Francine.
啊！
Argh!
现在我只想去修好我买♥♥的那栋小破烂房♥子
All I wanna do is work
on the fixer-upper house I bought.
我们都差不多快能搬进去了！
It's almost ready for us to move into!
别太着急了
No rush on that!
我永远住在这里也能很开心！
I'm happy to stay here forever!
一直为那些品味差劲的富豪干活真是太让人沮丧了
It's so frustrating being stuck working
for all these rich clients with terrible taste.
我的品味很好 什么时候我才能做些有激♥情♥的事情？
I have good taste
so when do I get to go full speckle on something?
嗯 感觉不错
Hmm. That feels good.
真的不错
Really good.
嘿 想不想在这栋公♥寓♥里来点儿“建筑之旅”？
Hey, how about a little "architectural tour"?
Around the building?
你难道是在想…？
You mean...
等一下 这个地方让我头晕
Wait, this is triggering my vertigo!
等一下 如果我们被锁在外面怎么办？
Wait, what if we get locked out?
- 哦！- 你这个肮脏的女孩
- Oh! - You dirty girl.
你喜欢这里吗 潜藏在一切的下方？
You like it down here, underneath everything?
- 喜欢 我们在这栋大楼的屁♥股♥里 - 棒极了！
Yeah. We're in the building's
- ass! - Yeah!
噁 那是什么？
Ew, what's that?
♪ 图卡与贝蒂 图卡与贝蒂 ♪
♪ Tuca & bertie, tuca & bertie ♪
♪ 贝蒂和图卡和图卡和贝蒂 ♪
♪ bertie & tuca and tuca & bertie ♪
♪ 图卡和贝蒂 ♪
♪ tuca & bertie ♪
- ♪ 图卡 ♪ - -♪ 贝蒂 ♪
- ♪ tuca ♪ - -♪ bertie ♪
好像哪里不一样了
Something seems different.
唔 这是什么？
Hmm, what's this?
“亲爱的现任住户…”
"Dear current occupant..."
“您的公♥寓♥楼已更换产权物业”
"Your building is under new ownership."
我们的租金要涨25%！
We're getting a 25% rent increase!
完了！
Shit!
你看到这破玩意了吗？
You see this shit?
这个该死的狗屁破玩意？
This shitty shit shit?
如果不是因为鲍勃英年早逝 这种情况才不会发生
This would not be happening
if not for the untimely demise of Bob.
- 哇！ - 鲍勃是谁？
- Awoo! - Who is Bob?
我们的房♥东 他去世了！
Our landlord. He perished!
听到这个消息 你们为何不像我一样痛哭流涕呢？怎么回事?
Why are you all not weeping
as I did upon the hearing of this news? Hello?
好吧 他一直都没来修我的马桶！
Well, he never fixed my toilet!
这位男士当时在医院里和病魔殊死搏斗
The man was in the hospital, fighting for his life.
而我正在浴室里和马桶打持久战
And I was in my bathroom, fighting to flush my toilet!
嘿！跟上那个冰箱！
Hey! Follow the fridge!
女士们 您好
Hello, ladies.
两位来这里是为了寻求一发告别炮的吗？
Are you here for some goodbye sex?
下流 太恶心了 布鲁斯！
Yuck! Gross, Bruce!
不过我们是客人 所以 需不需要脱鞋？
But also, we're guests here, so, shoes on or off?
脱鞋 必须得脱鞋
Off. Definitely off.
这间公♥寓♥已经超出了我的承受范围
I was priced outta this building and look,
而且你看 没等我搬出去他们就开始装♥修♥了
they didn't even wait for me to leave
before they started renovating!
合情合理
Makes sense.
这些颜色是真的很丑
Those colors are butt-ass ugly!
哟 大块头 你打算用那个炉子做什么？
Yo, big beefy, what are you gonna do with that stove?
嗯 应该是捐掉吧 有什么问题吗？
Eh, probably donate it. Why?
上面全都是我的Penne
I got my penne all over it.
这词在意大利语里是意面 在西班牙语里是牛子
Which is Italian for noodles and Spanish for penis.
你猜猜我说的是哪国语言？我的朋友
Guess which language I speak, amigo.
我永远不会想念这个变♥态♥
I am not gonna miss this creep.
嗨嗨嗨！噢 我是泰勒
Hi, hi, hi! Oh, I'm Tyler.
我准备要搬进这间公♥寓♥呢
I'm moving into this apartment.
我只是先过来量一下尺寸
I just came by to take some measurements!
我还带了抹茶杯子蛋糕
I also brought matcha cupcakes!
这是我表达“见到你很‘糕’兴”的方法
Just my way of saying "nice to meet'cha".
这烤盘好可爱
Cute baking pan.
来 给你一个 我这有多的
Here, you can have one, I have extra!
哦 真的吗？谢谢！
Aw, really? Thanks!
别对小布尔乔亚太友好了！
Quit being nice to the gentrifier!
噢 我有点喜欢那盏灯
Ooh, kinda like that lamp.
我招架不住
I can't help it.
她在各个方面都很吸引人！
She's so appealing on every level!
啊 这个街区太地道了！
Ah! This neighborhood is so authentic!
确实 我叉过这个 还捅过这个
Yep. I porked that. Screwed that.
最重要的是还搞过这个
Most definitely banged that.
你肯定会想吧手套烧成灰的 老伙计
You're gonna wanna burn your gloves too, hermano.
我真的很后悔在他生日那天教他西班牙语了
I really regret getting him Spanish lessons
for his birthday.
噢我的天 难不成这位就是这儿的新业主？
Preach him! Could this be our downsized latest proprietor?
噢 不是的
Oh, no.
我不是新房♥东
I'm not the new landlord.
我只是替它来和各位沟通的友好的中介而已
I'm a friendly face,
here to facilitate communication
between you and it.
“它”是物管公♥司♥还是什么东西？
Is it a management company or something?
嗯哼 确实 是“什么东西”
Uh-huh, yes, to "something"!
它是一种既不是他 也不是她 也不是他们的东西
A something that is neither a he, nor she, nor they.
但它是绿色又无处不在的 也只对持续生长感兴趣
But it is green and pervasive
and only interested in continued growth
你猜怎么着？
and guess what?
它就是苔藓！
It's moss!
跟大家问声好 苔藓 开个玩笑而已
Say hello, moss. Just joshing!
它不会说你好或再见的 因为它是苔藓
It won't say hello or goodbye. It's moss.
该死的租金上涨怎么办？实在涨太多了！
What about the stupid rent hike? It's too much!
- 是的！ - 涨太多了！
- Yeah! - It's too much!
我们负担不起！
We can't pay that!
它是苔藓吗？
It's moss?
噢 确实 租金上涨了很多！
Ooh, yeah, the rent increase is high!
让我和苔藓聊聊 稍等一下 我会把苔藓的说法告诉你们
Let me talk to the moss, circle back,
and I let you know what the moss does,
又或者是 它什么都不会说
or most likely, does not say.
因为它没有声带
Because it has no vocal cords.
就像我说的 它是苔藓！
Like I said, it's moss!
你已经有了很大进展！
You've made so much progress!
我知道还没完工 但是…
I know it's not finished yet but...
我知道
I know.
我们没办法同时负担公♥寓♥的租金上涨和房♥子的月供
We can't afford the rent increase
我们没办法同时负担公♥寓♥的上涨的租金和房♥子的月供
and the mortgage for this house at the same time.
我想至少应该让你看看这个地方
I thought you should at least see the place
然后一起考虑接下来该怎么装♥修♥
while we figure out what to do.
橱柜很不错！
Nice cabinets!
对 我一直想试试开放式橱柜
yep. I've always wanted to experiment with open shelving
但我也知道你有多想要更多的收纳空间 所以…
But I know how much you love extra storage space and, well...
客户永远是对的！
The client is always right!
斑斑 你知道我不是你的客户
Speckle, you know I'm not your client,
你才是这方面的专家
you're the expert.
我甚至分不清圆弧顶角线和雕花顶角线有什么区别
I don't even know the difference
between rounded and sculpted baseboard molding.
你应该追随你的艺术性奇思妙想！
You should follow your own artistic impulses!
真的吗？从来没人会信任我去这么做
Really? Nobody ever trusts me to do that!
我相信无论你选择什么都会很棒
I'm sure whatever you choose will be great.
去搞定它吧！
Go nuts!
- 所以圆弧顶角线和雕花顶角线的区别在于… - 别说了
So the difference between rounded
and sculpted baseboards
- is that... - Please stop.
异味！异味！我们对新房♥东有异议！
Odor! Odor! Something stinks
and it's our new landlord!
- 是的！ - 租金上涨太糟糕了！
- Yeah! - This rent increase sucks!
是苔藓涨的吗？
It's moss?
今天把大家聚到这里 是因为我们要和苔藓做斗争