圣诞老人快乐再疯狂（2022）

伙计们 过来 快点
Boys, come on! [clicks tongue] Come on.
嘿 你还好吗 真是摔得不轻
Hey, you okay? That was a great fall!
你为什么让我这么做
Why did you make me do that?
我的魔法最近有所失效
My magic's been failing a little bit lately,
所以我想退休
and so I'm thinking about retiring.
你刚才谈论起成为圣诞老人的梦
You were talking about your dreams of being Santa--
不 我从没说过那是美梦
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never said they were good dreams.
那些梦有点像刚才那几分钟 令人困惑又吓人
They're kinda like the last few minutes, confusing and terrifying.
闪电 彗星 没事的
Blitzen, Comet, shake it off.
还是这个爽
Sweet relief!
如果你真的想找一位新的圣诞老人
If you're really looking for a new Santa,
应该找制♥作♥这些游戏的人
you should get the guy who makes these games.
绝对能把幸福洒向万家
Talk about bringing happiness in the world.
你知道我在说什么吗 爸爸
You know what I'm saying, Dad?
爸爸
Dad.
这是哪
Where is this?
那些人好大的胆子 他们想切断我的资金
The nerve of those guys. They wanna cut me off?
我会断了他们的财路 让他们望尘莫及
I'll cut them off, leave them all in the dust.
你又开始像爷爷那样眼神发狠了
You're doing that thing where you get all crazy-eyed like Grandpa.
抱歉 亲爱的 你说得对
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. You're right.
我不应该让那些人烦我 我只需要解决我们的配送问题
I shouldn't let those guys get to me. I just need to fix our delivery problems.
我相信你 爸爸
- I believe in you, Dad.
谢谢你 亲爱的 这才是最重要的
Thank you, sweetie. That's all that matters.
嘿 这是什么
Hey, what's this?
我的圣诞礼物
My Christmas gift.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
我也想她 每天都是
I miss her too, every day.
但我有点糊涂了 你从哪弄到的
But I'm confused. Where'd you get that?
我跟你说过了 是圣诞老人在树下给我的
I told you. It was under the tree from Santa.
我知道你不相信有圣诞老人 就像今天的那些人一样
I know you don't believe in Santa, like those men today.
没关系
That's okay.
我没有 但是...
Well, I didn't, um, but, uh...
等一下 你看见他了吗
Wait a minute. You saw him?
你的表情出♥卖♥♥♥了你
I see it in your face.
好吧 我是看见了什么 我不知道 这说不通
Well, I saw something. I don't know. It makes no sense.
首先是另外神秘的17%
First, the mysterious other 17%,
然后是划过天空的闪光 现在又是这个项链坠
then that flash across the sky, and now this locket?
-没那么难以相信 -好吧 那我问你
- It's not that hard to believe. - Okay. Well, then question for you.
如果圣诞老人是真的 他怎么能在一夜之间把玩具送到世界各地
If Santa is real, how does he deliver toys to all the world in one night?
当然是魔法了 这还用说吗 爸爸
Magic, duh. Come on, Dad.
魔法
Magic.
贝蒂 你和圣诞老人之间有情况
Betty, something's going on between you and Santa.
秘密会议 低声耳语
The secret meetings, the whisperings and whatnot--
别装傻了 那是我的专长
And don't play dumb. That's my thing.
你依然有嫉妒心 真不错
It's actually nice to see you still get jealous.
我当然嫉妒了
Of course I'm jealous.
圣诞老人是我的一切
Santa is everything to me.
好吧 你能保守秘密吗
Okay, can you keep a secret?
不能 如果有一只猫 我会把它从袋子里放出去
No. If there's a cat, I let it out of the bag.
如果有豆豆 我就会剥出来
If there's beans, I spill them.
马丁医生说我有急屁症
Doc Martin says I have ASS.
急性说屁话综合征
- Hmm? - Acute Squawk Syndrome.
好 这件事上我会相信你 而且我以后肯定会后悔
Okay, I'm going to trust you on this and certainly regret it later.
圣诞老人在考虑退休
Santa's thinking about retiring.
我的天啊 你不能允许这种事发生
Oh, holy fright! You can't let that happen.
我们不想要新的圣诞老人
We don't want a new Santa.
这就是奇怪之处
That's the weird part.
他想有人接♥班♥ 但也想留在这里
He wants a replacement, but he also wants to stick around after.
或许我们可以克隆一个他
Maybe we can make a duplicate him.
没错 因为上次的效果太好了
Yeah, because that worked out so well last time.
此外 伯纳德留下了这个
And there's more. Bernard left this.
它可以用来衡量圣诞精神
It measures Christmas spirit.
一切顺利时 它就会闪闪发光
When everything's great, it shines brightly,
圣诞老人斯科特在职时一直都是这样
and that's the way it's been for all of Santa Scott's reign.
但你现在看中间
But look at the middle now.
从十四世纪以来就没有出现过这种情况
It hasn't been like that since the 14th century.
瘟疫 饥荒 战争 还有...
The plague, famine, wars, and--
黑化圣诞老人 没错
Mad Santa. Yes.
那是圣诞节最后一次受到威胁
That's the last time Christmas was threatened.
你不能让圣诞老人看到这个
You can't show this to Santa.
这会让他的心碎成一地 就像你的水晶精灵奖杯
It'll shatter him like your crystal elf award.
对了 是我不小心 弄碎了你的水晶精灵奖杯
By the way, I accidentally shattered your crystal elf award.
他需要知道
He needs to know.
交给我吧 我逗人的本事高过惹人的本事
I'll take care of this. I'm more tickly than prickly.
嘿 诺尔 不管是什么事 我们随后再说
Hey! Noel, whatever it is, it's gonna have to wait.
我得找到桑德拉 我想陪陪她
I gotta find Sandra. I wanna spend some quality time with her.
年度最佳父亲 世纪最佳圣诞老人
Father of the year. Santa of the century.
你的荣耀是不是永无止境
Is there no end to your gloriousness?
愿你是永远的王
May you rule forever.
贝蒂跟你说了我想退休 是吗
Oh. Betty told you I was thinking of retiring, huh?
她是不是也让你看了一大本的合适人选
Did she also show you that big binder of possible replacements?
我觉得她也有一本新“诺尔名单”
I think she has one for new Noels too.
拜托别退休 圣诞老人
Please don't retire, Santa.
别担心 我从来不会急于做出决定
Don't worry. I never make a rash decision,
除了穿上死人的套装
other than putting on a dead man's coat,
娶了一位我只相识了20秒的美丽女人
marrying a beautiful woman I've only known 20 seconds,
允许一个冻住的疯子接管整个北极
oh, and allowing a frozen lunatic to take over the entire North Pole.
我来给你看看留下的理由
Here's a reason to stay.
这东西越闪亮 世界上的圣诞精神就越浓烈
The shinier it is, the more Christmas spirit in the world.
好
Oh, yeah.
瞧瞧它多么闪亮
Look how bright it is!
这代表你的工作水平史上最佳
It means you're doing the bestest job ever.
-我看看 -从远处看效果最好
- Let me see it. - It looks best from afar.
把魔法球给我
Give me the orb.
手电筒 不是开玩笑吧
A flashlight, really?
抱歉我骗了你 我只是不希望你退休
I'm sorry I lied. I just don't want you to retire.
我是想着留下 但这个很麻烦
I was thinking of staying, but this is troublesome.
给你 我要去水晶球贮藏室
Here. I'm gonna go to the Snow Globe Depository
查看一下世界各地的圣诞精神
and check on Christmas spirit around the world.
谢谢你提醒了我 诺尔
Thanks for alerting me, Noel!
破发光球 瞧瞧你惹的麻烦
Stupid glowy ball. Look at all the trouble you caused!
看起来好像他们弄坏了
It looks like they broke something
现在正试图恢复原样
and now they're trying to put it back together.
不 我觉得这就是一种拼图玩具
No, I think it's one of those jigsaw puzzles again.
真实世界太复杂了
The real world is so complicated.
没错
Yeah.
看来爸爸刚下班回来
Oh, it looks like the dad just got back from work,
他穿着套装 但不是红色的
and he's wearing a suit that's not red.
真奇怪
Weird.
希望他升职了 这样他就有钱给丽丽装牙套了
I hope he got that promotion, so he can afford to get Lily those braces.
你怎么总是对所有人如此了解
How do you always know so much about everyone?
嘿 两位 你们不应该在这里
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, guys, you're not supposed to be in here.
-这是禁区 -我知道
- This is a restricted area. - I know.
我们只是看看
We were just looking.
有时我们来这里看看 真实世界是什么样子
Sometimes, we come in here to see what the real world is like.
我保证我们不会再这样了
I-I promise we won't do it anymore.
我都不知道你们还是在乎的 我...
I didn't know you cared about this. I--
你们喜欢北极 对吗
You love the North Pole, right?
当然喜欢 胜于一切
I do. I do. More than anything.
我只是...我对小孩子很好奇 真实的小孩
I just-- I'm curious about kids. Real kids.
卡尔 我以为你只爱你那虚拟的精彩世界
And Cal, I-I-I thought you just loved your virtual fantasy world.
好吧
Well...
-给他看看 -给他看什么
- Show him. - Show him what?
给你
Here.
这是什么
What is this?
堪萨斯州 托皮卡
Topeka, Kansas.
我刚割完草坪 现在要去邮局了
I just finished mowing the lawn, and now I'm going to the post office.
这么说一直以来 你... 你一直在正常世界中玩耍
So, all this time, you've been-- You've been playing in the normal world.
没错 桑德拉有时也这样 尽管她通常很害怕
Yeah. Sandra, too, sometimes. Although she's mostly scared.
我没有
Am not.