圣诞老人快乐再疯狂（2022）

You know, she's just-- just doing kid stuff.
你真是撒谎不打草稿
You lie like a gnome.
诺尔 别再胡闹了
Noel, that is enough nonsense.
回家去 洗个舒服漫长的泡泡浴 然后我们再聊
Go home, take a nice long bubble-gum bath and we'll talk about this later.
男人啊
Men.
亲爱的 我不想和你吵架
My darling, I hate fighting with you.
我知道你的小手被古老的北极规则束缚着
I know your teensy-weensy hands are tied by ancient North Pole bylaws,
所以我想我应该采取行动
so I guess it's up to me to do something
免得冒牌蠢货圣诞老人西蒙 毁掉我们的生活方式
before fake, stupid-head Santa Simon destroys our way of life.
不好意思我爆粗口 但我“灰常生气”
Pardon my French, but I am "très angré."
如果你需要我 海象知道我在哪 诺尔
If you need me, the walrus knows where I am. Noel.
贝蒂
Betty?
你在里面吗
Are you in here?
你太小了 有时候很难看出来
You're so tiny, it's hard to tell sometimes.
我刚才可能对你太苛刻了
I think I may have been too harsh with you.
卡萝尔
Carol?
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
嘿 你好吗 瞧瞧你啊
Hey! How are you? Look at you!
-你来这里干什么 -我要带你回去
- What are you doing here? - I'm taking you back.
-什么 -西蒙在毁掉圣诞节
- What? - Simon's destroying Christmas.
拜托 毁掉圣诞节吗 你知道你多少次这么指责过我吗
Come on. Destroying Christmas? You know how many times you said that to me?
还记得我把手♥机♥放在雪橇里那次吗 你不喜欢那样
Remember the time I put the phone in the sleigh? You didn't like that.
还有一次我们快速飞近洛克菲勒中心
How about the time we buzzed Rockefeller Center,
那棵树的树冠有点弯曲 “圣诞节要完蛋了”
and the tree had a little bend at the top, "That's the end of Christmas!"
-他有太多离经叛道的计划 -好吧
- He has all these crazy plans! - Yeah.
比如天天过圣诞
Like making it Christmas every day!
听着 西蒙有权利选择 成为什么样的圣诞老人 对吧
Listen, Simon deserves the right to be the Santa of his choosing, right?
就像我有权利当一个慈父
Just like I deserve the right to be the dad I was meant to be.
我觉得你这趟白来了
I think you wasted a trip.
好了 听着 行了 别这样
Okay, look. Come on. Stop, stop.
听着 我跟你说实话
Listen, I got to be honest with you.
好吧 我想你了 你想出去逛逛吗
Okay, I missed you. You wanna hang out for a little bit?
-我很想留下来 -好
- I'd love to stay! - Good.
只要冒牌圣诞老人还在 我就不可能回北极
No way I'm going back to the North Pole while Fake Santa Simon is there.
我不想跟那个家伙有任何瓜葛
I want nothing to do with that guy.
-嘿 我有工作了 -做什么
- Hey, I got a job. - As what?
-先生 我们有麻烦了 -嗨 贝蒂
- Sir, we have a problem. - Oh, hi, Betty!
格雷丝 我没看到你在那里
Oh, Grace, I didn't see you there.
姜饼人正在重新设计他们的房♥子
You know, the gingerbread men are redesigning their house
做成一个开放的空间
to make it more open-concept,
有一整面墙正等着被吃掉
and there's this whole wall just waiting to be eaten.
-你应该去看看 -爸爸 我们去吧
- You should go check it out. - Oh, Daddy, let's go!
亲爱的 爸爸正在为你努力工作
Uh, honey, Daddy's working very hard for you right now.
不如你去看看 给我拿扇窗户回来
Why don't you go ahead and, uh, bring me back a window?
先生 马厩精灵不见了 驯鹿也出了问题
Sir, the stable elf disappeared, and there's an issue with the reindeer.
它们好像不想飞 或者飞不起来
They don't seem to want to fly, or maybe they can't.
自从196♥4♥年电视特别节目播出那天以后 我就没见过它们这么松懈
I haven't seen them this out of it since the day after the '6♥4♥ TV special aired.
这还不包括精灵天天失踪
This in addition to elves deserting.
先生 “甜食”精灵就只知道吃肉桂卷
Sir, the only kind of "deserting" elves know how to do is eat a cinnamon roll.
那他们在哪
Well, then where are they?
我要是知道就好了 但还有很多精灵也不见了
I wish I knew, but more are gone.
擅离职守的精灵和不会飞的驯鹿 能反映出领导能力
AWOL elves and nonflying reindeer are a reflection of leadership.
-我同意 -好 这是你的错 贝蒂
- I agree. - Yeah, this falls on you, Betty.
而且离12月这么近了
And so close to December too.
在我看来 圣诞节现在不受重视了
I guess it's good for everyone
这样对大家都好 是吧
that Christmas itself doesn't really matter much anymore, huh?
你看到诺尔了吗
Have you seen Noel?
他昨晚没回家
He didn't come home last night.
通常情况下 扎普会打给我
Usually, Zippy calls me
让我知道他是不是在热可可吧喝多了
and tells me if he's had one too many at the hot cocoa bar,
但扎普也不见了
but Zippy's gone too.
男人嘛 对吧
Men, am I right?
我只是不敢相信 他会不跟我说一声就离开
I just don't believe he would leave without telling me.
好吧 就像我说的 我...说起来 我什么都不知道
Yeah, well, like I said. I-- You know, I don't know anything about that, so...
易购
再次和你一起巡游真有趣
Making the rounds with you again has been fun...
不过我们在为“易购”做事吗
but working for EverythingNow?
我们在做什么
What are we doing?
做我们总在做的事 在节日传播欢乐 对吗
What we always do. Spreading joy at the holidays, right?
但日子离圣诞节越近 送货量就越少
But the closer we get to Christmas, the less deliveries.
没错 不得不承认 这不像我记忆中的节日
Yeah, I got to admit, it's not as festive as I remember.
这都是因为冒牌圣诞老人
Because of Fake Santa Simon.
他不是“冒牌圣诞老人” 他现在是真正的圣诞老人
He's not "Fake Santa Simon." He's the real Santa now.
而且没有第一助手 他不会成为伟大的圣诞老人
And he's not gonna become a great Santa without his number one.
你仍然是第一助手
You're still the number one.
所以你得回北极帮助这家伙 好吗
So, you got to go back to the North Pole and help this guy, all right?
你得和贝蒂解决问题
And you got to deal with Betty.
-我不能回去 -你能
- I can't go back. - Yes, you can.
我跟你说过了 我给她留了言 但她现在还没来找我
I told you, I left her the note, and she still hasn't come looking for me,
-这意味着她心里没有我了 -她心里有你
- which means she doesn't care anymore. - She cares about you.
你们两个孩子能解决问题的 哎呀 你们才结婚900年
You kids will work it out. Hell, you've only been married 900 years.
千年之痒近在眼前
Thousand-year itch is right around the corner.
没错
That's true.
这里现在是我们的家
You know what? This is home now.
我们都过得很开心
We're all real happy here.
我的老天爷 默里被斩首了
Unholy night! Murray's been decapitated!
居然会有这种恶魔
I never knew this kind of evil existed.
听着 并不是所有人都喜欢芝加哥 我们可以治好它
Well, listen, Chicago's not for everybody, and we can fix him.
只要把它的脑袋放回身体上就行了
We'll just put his head back on the body.
有脚印 所以我们知道这不是自杀
There's footprints. So we know it wasn't a suicide.
有人咬掉了它的鼻子 就像咬小零食一样
Someone bit his nose off like a little snack!
什么样的怪物会吃胡萝卜
What kind of monster eats a carrot?
嬉皮士和纯素食者 嬉皮士纯素食者
Hippies and vegans. Hippie vegans.
嘿 你们俩 你们在破坏我的艺术品
Hey! You! You're ruining my work of art.
我们只是在我家地盘上 传播一点圣诞精神 孩子们
We're just spreading a little Christmas spirit here on my property, boys.
等一下 吉米·默瑟
Uh, wait a minute. Jimmy Mercer.
你喜欢组装玩具 是吧
Tinkertoys, that's your thing, right?
谁还会在乎圣诞节
Who cares about Christmas anymore?
嘿
Hey, hey, hey.
现在你们闯祸了
Oh, now you've done it.
你们刚刚惹恼了 史上最棒的雪球投手 圣诞老...
You just messed with the greatest snowball thrower of all time. Mr. San--
你现在不再是听话的孩子了
No more Mr. Nice List now.
-我胳膊刚刚脱臼了 -圣诞老人
- I just pulled my arm out. - Santa!
我真的是老了
I'm not the man I used to be.
你没老 你是我的英雄
You're not a man. You're my hero!
躲避
Cover! Cover!
这是我的荣幸 很高兴认识你
It's been an honor! Nice knowing ya.
哇 现在还不到晚上七点 那更像是晚上九点的叹息
Wow. It's not even 7:00 p.m. That was more like a 9:00 p.m. sigh.
我刚刚因为打雪仗被解雇了
I just got fired for getting into a snowball fight.
-你赢了吗 -过去人人都把我当大人物
- Did you win? - I used to be somebody.
-至少我觉得自己是大人物 -你在说什么
- At least, I thought I was somebody. - What are you talking about?
-把你的鞋从床上拿开 -我今天一直在思考巧合这件事
- Get your shoes off the bed. - I was thinking a lot today about flukes.
甚至我成为圣诞老人都只是巧合
It was just a fluke that I'm even Santa Claus.
那个人本可能摔下任何人的屋顶
That guy could've slid off anybody's roof.
然后我娶了你 我享受我们的婚姻
And then I get married to you. I love being married to you.
那是因为圣诞奶奶条款 我只是逐个完成条款 你知道吗
That's because of the Mrs. Clause. I just go one clause to another, you know?
现在没有条款约束我了
- Hmm. - I'm out of clauses now.
好吧 但你得遵守 “把鞋子从床上拿开”条款
Well, you have the "Get Your Shoes Off the Bed" clause.
好吧 还有这个条款
Oh, yes, there is that.
我以为回到芝加哥 我会继续原来的生活
I thought coming back to Chicago, I would just start where I left off here.
我们风风火火地过日子
You know, we'd hit the ground rolling.
和我的孩子共度美好时光
Spend time with my kids.
但他们有自己的朋友 你有自己的工作
But they have their friends, and you have your job.
校长
Principal.
你是芝加哥最优秀的校长 因为这就是你擅长的事
You're the best principal in Chicago, because that's what you're good at.
你只需要想清楚自己擅长什么
Well, you just need to figure out what you're good at.
嘿 我做梦都想象不到这件事
Hey, this is beyond anything I've ever dreamed of.
C.E.D.取得了巨大成功 这都多亏了你们
C.E.D. is a great success, and it's all thanks to you.
那些没有抱怨也没有逃跑的精灵们
My elves who haven't complained and-- and run away!
我们现在有了所谓的会计部门吗
We have something called an accounting department now?
我们要收费吗 我们不做那种事
Are we charging people? That's not what we do!