圣诞老人快乐再疯狂（2022）

We got NORAD.
他们的雷达越来越容易追踪到我们 对吧
Their radar's getting much better at tracking us, right?
还有烟囱浣熊 哎呀
We've got chimney raccoons. Oh, boy.
盘子上没人管的糕点 你永远不知道在那里放了多久
Sketchy pastries on plates. You never know how long it's been there.
有时蛋黄酱也有问题
You got a mayonnaise problem sometimes.
所以要注意这一点 还有不相信圣诞节的人
So got to watch out for that. You got your Christmas deniers.
还会有圣诞老人陷阱
And you got your Santa traps.
圣诞老人陷阱 那是什么
Santa traps? What's-- What's that?
假如你从一个烟囱下去
Let's say you're going down a chimney,
进去之后 你看到了一棵树 花环掉了下来
you pop in, you see a tree, the garland's just slipped off.
你决定当一位热心的圣诞老人 把花环捡起来 放回树上
You decide to be a nice Santa and pick it up, put it back on the tree.
你捡起花环 它抓住你的手 只要你一拉 就会中计
You grab the garland... ...grabs your hand. You pull it, you're in a trap.
就是一瞬间的事
Just like that.
如果是我的话 我不会拉花环的
You see, with me, I wouldn't pull the garland.
好吧 谁会呢 对吧 没问题 好的
Yeah. And who would, right? That's good. Okay, okay.
这样如何 让我们听听你最棒的“吼吼吼”
How about this? Give us your best "ho ho ho."
好 那开始吧
Oh, okay. Here we go.
吼吼吼马哈 吼马哈
Ho ho Homaha! Homaha!
看到没 我稍微改动了一下
You see that? I called a little audible there.
他虽然古怪 但还算完美
He's odd, yet somehow perfect.
他确实很古怪
He's odd, all right.
也不知道我们有没有 能扣上他那颗大脑袋的帽子
I don't know if we have a hat big enough for that head.
看看啊 他脑袋好大
Phew. Look at the size of that thing. Hmm.
你这是怎么了 我们得快点找到替代者
What's gotten into you? We need to find someone quickly.
急什么
What's the rush?
训练新的圣诞老人需要时间
Well, breaking in new Santas take time.
训练圣诞老人吗 我们说的是圣诞老人 不是马
Breaking in a Santa? We're talking about Santas, not horses.
我知道 马♥会♥听话
I know. Horses listen.
真好笑
Ha! That's a good one.
你还在这里吗
You still here?
我吗 我被绑♥架♥了
Me? I was kidnapped.
前一分钟我还在清理雨水沟 下一分钟就到这里了
One minute I'm cleaning rain gutters, and next minute, I'm here.
对了 我需要你给我妻子留个言
By the way, I'm gonna need a note from you for my wife.
嘿 大块头 从史诗级到超级史诗级
Hey, Big Man! On a scale of epic to super epic,
你希望自己的告别派对有多“奢侈盛大”
how "giganticous" do you want your farewell party?
没必要 小家伙 遇到铁杆粉丝总是令人心情愉悦
That won't be necessary, little man. It's always nice to meet a big fan.
我来给你签名
Here's an autograph.
这是米开朗基罗送我的衬衣
Michelangelo gave me this shirt!
现在更有价值了 相信我
It's worth more now, trust me.
佩顿 他刚才在跟我说我的告别派对
Peyton, he was talking to me about my farewell party.
听着 低调点 我是认真的
Listen, low-key. I mean it. No muss, no fuss.
简简单单 轻轻松松
No muss, no fuss.
谁是那个要告诉玛丽亚·凯莉 她不用再表演的倒霉蛋精灵
Who's the dead elf that's gonna tell Mariah Carey she's no longer performing?
对了 我唱歌♥很好听
I sing, by the way.
不用了 布雷迪才是唱歌♥好听 总之 非常感谢你
No, Brady can sing. Anyhow, thanks so much.
做最好的精灵
就是这里 圣诞老人的工作坊
And here you go. Santa's Workshop.
我永远都不想离开这里
I never wanna leave here.
哇 待在这里真的会让你忘掉 现实世界中的所有问题
Wow. Being here really makes you forget about all your problems in the real world.
嘿 现实世界中真的有“大塞车”这回事吗
Oh, hey! Is it true in the real world there's a thing called "gridlock,"
交通停滞 你可以认识一下附近的车主
where traffic just stops and you get to know your neighbor?
这倒不失为一种见解
That's one way to look at it.
哇
Wow.
嘿 购物车真的会像小套娃一样 套在一起吗
Oh, hey! Is it true that shopping carts fit into each other like little nesting dolls?
电♥话♥销♥售♥员会给你打电♥话♥吗
And telemarketers just call you?
我等不及要体验第一次晒伤了
I can't wait to get my first sunburn!
你说的这些大概都存在
Those are all things, I guess.
但怎样都比不上这里好
But there is nothing like this place.
我觉得还好吧
Yeah, it's okay, I guess.
我不希望我们会忘个精光
I hate that we won't remember it.
看这里 亲爱的 有些规矩就是用来打破的 好吗
Here, sweetie. Some rules are meant to be broken, okay?
该和圣诞老人见面了
Time to meet Santa.
好 哇 我准备好了
Oh. Okay. Wow. I'm ready.
真希望我给他带了礼物
I wish I'd brought him something.
不过你都送圣诞老人什么
Uh, but what do you give Santa?
他喜欢NFT
He's into NFTs.
坚果软糖茶点
Nutty fudgy tea cakes.
我们可以保证你在你父亲之后和他见面
We can make sure you meet him after your dad.
巴迪·卡尔文·克劳斯 你能看着这个人类女孩吗
Buddy Calvin Claus, could you watch the girl person?
我缺乏母性 这样只会让我们俩都不舒服
My lack of maternal fortitude will only make us both uncomfortable.
好了 亲爱的 小心点 好吗
Okay, honey. Be careful, all right?
这里是北极 爸爸
It's the North Pole, Dad.
这里是北极
It's the North Pole!
我们走吧
Let's go.
嘿 现实世界中真的有一整个
Oh! Hey, hey! Is it true, in the real world, there's, like, a whole department
机动车部门 然后你可以去那里吗
of motor vehicles and you get to go there?
我骑自行车 但是...
I ride a bike, but... hmm.
哇
Wow.
-卡尔 你怎么带着一个人类小孩 -我负责带她四处看看
- Cal, why do you have a human kid? - I'm in charge of showing her around.
-我比你更了解这个地方 -才不是
- I know this place better than you do. - That is not true.
好吧 那个操纵杆是干什么用的
Okay. Then what's that lever do?
警告 任何情况 都不能拉动操纵杆
Uh...
是为了改善情况 没错
- It makes things better. Yeah. - Mmm?
可真好 谢谢你
Oh! Great. Thank you.
反正我需要新的噩梦素材了 好吧
I needed a new nightmare anyways. Yeah.
好了 我来带你好好游览一下
Well, I will give you the good tour.
不
Oh, no, no, no, no.
西蒙·乔克西
Simon Choksi.
听着 等一下 我不想让你感到紧张
Listen. Hold on. I don't want you to be nervous here.
我为什么要紧张
Oh, why would I be nervous?
因为你在面试成为圣诞老人
Because you're interviewing to become Santa Claus.
抱歉
Sorry, sorry.
没关系 那些东西是无价的
That's all right. They're just priceless.
你想喝杯东西吗
Um, do you want a drink of something?
巧克力牛奶还是草莓雀巢 由你选择
Uh, chocolate milk? Strawberry Quik? Pick your poison.
抱歉 这是怎么回事
Uh, I'm sorry. What's happening?
好吧
Okay.
圣诞老人在考虑退休 并寻找一位合适的接♥班♥人
Santa Claus is considering stepping down, looking for a possible replacement.
虽然很难选
Now it's been challenging,
但作为很有潜力的人选 你榜上有名
but your name came up as a person with great possibilities.
所以我想听你介绍一下自己
So I wanna hear a little bit about you.
哇 好吧
Wow, okay. Uh...
当然
Uh, well, s-sure.
我起初是一名游戏设计师
Uh, so, you know, I-I started, uh, as a game designer.
但然后我扩展了业务
- Mm-hmm. Hmm. - But then I expanded.
我的公♥司♥“易购 ” 正在失控地走螺旋式下坡路
And, uh, my company, EverythingNow!, is, uh, spiraling out of control
因为我们的配送系统一团糟
because our delivery system is a mess.
所以出现了很刻薄的GIF... 也不知道你有没有看到过
That's why there's the really mean GIF-- I don't know if you've seen it.
图片四处流传 上面称我的公♥司♥为 “偶尔配送的随心配送系统”
It's going around calling my company "Random Thingy Delivered Sometimes."
你没怎么参加过面试吧 西蒙
You haven't done a lot of job interviews, have you, Simon?
我能问你个问题吗 和我的配送系统有关
You know, can I ask you a question? It's about your delivery system.
我为什么会想雇你
Why would I wanna hire you?
好吧 说起来
Uh, well, uh-- You know, I--
优秀的“交淡者”
Great "communitator."
不如喝一杯
How about that drink?
要双份的
Uh, make it a double.
好
Okay, good.
你刚才说巧克力 香草 还是...
Did you say chocolate, vanilla, or--
有人跟你说过禁止拍照吗
Were you told no photos?
有很多人说过
Yes. A lot.
好吧 但你们这些技术人员 不习惯人们对你们说“不行” 是吗
Right, but you tech guys just aren't used to people saying "no" to you, huh?
其实大家一直都在跟我说“不行”
Oh, actually, everybody tells me "no" all the time.
但你没听 是吧
But you don't listen, do you?
-爸爸 嘿 -嘿
- Um, Dad? Hey. - Hey.
抱歉打扰了
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
我完全不觉得你是在打扰
Oh, I don't think you're interrupting at all.
我们就聊到这里吧 西蒙 非常感谢你
We're done here, Simon. Thank you so much.
好吧 我好像弄丢他女儿了
- Yeah, I sort of lost his daughter.
格雷丝吗
Grace?
我得去找她
Oh, I got to find her!
不 别担心
No, no, no. Don't worry about it!