了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

♪ Hut, nine, hut ♪ - ♪ No, don't be chicken a... ♪
♪ Beautiful girl ♪
♪ You're a lovely picture ♪
♪ Beautiful girl ♪
♪ You're a gorgeous mixture ♪
♪ Of all that lies ♪
♪ Under the big, blue skies ♪
♪ My heart cries ♪
♪ Beautiful girl ♪
♪ You're a dazzling eyeful... ♪
斯坦纳小姐1959
今年竞争激烈 大家伙
It's a competitive field this year, people.
你们面前的每一位泳装美女都是潜在的冠军
Every bathing beauty before you is a potential winner,
但只有一人会赢得25美元的奖金
but only one walks away with the $25 prize.
每位丈夫都很骄傲
Each husband as proud as the next.
每位参赛选手都美丽地代表了斯坦纳度假胜地
Each contestant beautifully representing Steiner Resort.
今年获得斯坦纳泳装选美比赛
And this year, the winner of the Mrs. Steiner
冠军的是…
Swimsuit Pageant is...
塔利亚格尔斯坦！
Talia Goldstein.
哦 天啊！恭喜你 塔利亚
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
♪ Beautiful girl. ♪
拍错了
Wrong girl.
感谢各位的到来！
Thanks for coming, everyone.
别忘了 少女选美比赛3点举♥行♥
Don't forget, the Miss Ingénue Pageant happens at 3:00.
我们说这里的风景很美
When we say the scenery's lovely here,
不是在开玩笑！
we're not kidding.
到时候见
See you then.
我们几个要去晒日光浴 米里亚姆 你要去吗？
A bunch of us are gonna sunbathe, Miriam. Want to join?
当然 让我那几本杂♥志♥
Sure. Just let me grab my magazines.
我把它们都落在车里了
I left 'em all in the car.
待会见
See you in a bit. - Mm-hmm.
嗨 富丽达 很高兴见到你 -嘿 米琪！
Hi, Frieda. Nice to see you. - Hey, Midge.
苏西？ -你穿的是什么？
Susie? - What the fuck are you wearing?
你在这儿干什么？
What the hell are you doing here?
先回答我的问题
My question first.
这是我的玛米范多伦
It's my Mamie Van Doren.
你不断让我惊讶
You constantly astonish me.
我再问一遍 你在这儿干什么？
I repeat, what are you doing here?
我唯一的红人客户决定歇一整个夏天
Well, my star/only client decides to go off
在这个皮划艇犹太馅饼之地
and spend the fucking summer up in the land of canoes and knishes,
我却无能为力 所以我就上来
and I couldn't just let things stop, so I came up
为你在这儿找个演出机会
to look for a gig for you up here on the off chance…
我吃了个虫子！
I ate a bug.
这经常发生
Happens a lot. - Ugh!
它在我喉咙里 还在动呢！
It's in my throat. It's still moving.
苏西 我在这儿不能表演 好吗？每个人都认识我
Susie, I can't play gigs up here, okay? Everybody knows me.
别担心 这儿有好几百个地点呢
Don't worry, there's hundreds of places up here.
有的很差劲 但还是有
A lot of them are shit, but some of them have
相当不错的房♥间 那就是我想要的
pretty good rooms; that's what I'm aiming for.
但我要怎么演出呢？我是来度假的
But how would I do this? I'm here on vacation.
你溜走了 就像你今年
You'll slip out, just like you've been doing
大部分时间做的一样 没有什么大不了的
for most of the year... No big deal.
那…你有关系吗？
Oh. Well... you got any leads?
在德里舞台的朋友在帮我忙
Friends at the Stage Deli are lending a hand.
突破不太容易 但我在努力
It's not easy breaking through, but I'm trying.
那是什么？
What is that? - Ah.
那是我的入场券 姐姐
It's my ticket in, sister.
我到这个神秘地方的神奇通行证
My magic pass to this godforsaken place.
怎么会！-我只要
How so? - All I have to do is
拿着这个到处走 大家就会以为我是工作人员
walk around holding this thing, everyone thinks I work here.
这太天才了 -但你怎么吃东西
It's genius. - But how will you eat?
你在哪儿住？-让我来操心那事吧
Where are you staying? - Let me worry about that.
你就等着我的电♥话♥就行了 准备好
You just wait for my call. Be ready.
我会的 -如果我不订你
I'll be ready. - And if I don't book you,
至少 我会让…
at the very least, I'll have made...
糟糕！我又吃了一个虫子！
Ugh! Shit! I ate another bug.
去拿点东西喝
Go get something to drink. - Ah!
它在和另一只交♥配♥！
It's mating with the other one.
真的 喝点水吧 -我讨厌大自然！
Really, a little bit of water. - God, I hate nature.
他们从未找到尸体
They never found the body.
他们却找到了格兰米勒的尸体
They did too find Glenn Miller's body.
不会吧！ -是的！
No! - Yeah!
他还拿着长号♥ 好糟的方式…
He was still holding his trombone.
你看见托尼柯蒂斯说
Did you see that Tony Curtis said that
亲吻玛丽莲梦露就像在亲希♥特♥勒♥吗？
kissing Marilyn Monroe was like kissing Hitler?
亲希♥特♥勒♥？托尼柯蒂斯怎么知道
Kissing Hitler? How would Tony Curtis know
亲希♥特♥勒♥是什么样的？
what kissing Hitler was like?
我不知道 他说的 不是我
I don't know. He said it, not me.
他的嘴唇好薄
He had such thin lips.
托尼柯蒂斯？-阿道夫希♥特♥勒♥
Tony Curtis? - Adolf Hitler.
他的嘴唇薄到就像没长一样
His lips were almost nonexistent.
或许因此他才如此生气 你觉得呢？
Maybe that's why he was so angry, do you think?
我不喜欢想那个男人 他太糟糕了
I don't like thinking about that man; he was awful.
说到糟糕 你看见
Speaking of awful, did you see
格莱蒂斯 星期二去弄头发了吗？
Gladys has a hair appointment on Tuesday?
但她的丈夫平时工作 周五才会来
But her husband's a weekender. He won't be here till Friday.
如果不是为了他 那她打扮给谁看呢？
Oh? Who's she getting all dolled up for if not for him?
她最近狂打网球
She's been playing an awful lot of tennis lately.
网球教练？-你说的 不是我
The tennis pro? - You said it, not me.
我讨厌人们睡来睡去
I'm getting tired of people hopping around from bed to bed.
托尼柯蒂斯 格莱蒂斯利普诗茨
Tony Curtis, Gladys Lipschitz.
待在一个地方 这让人疲倦
Stay in one place. It's exhausting.
哦 拜托！如果我的儿子跟一个女孩约会
Oh, please. If my son would just stay with a girl
超过两次 我会爆♥炸♥的
for more than two dates, I'd plotz.
本杰明？-没有人配得上他
Benjamin? - No one is good enough for him.
可爱的女孩 家境优越 她们会做饭 她们就像馅饼一样甜美
Lovely girls from good families. They cook. They're sweet as pie.
她们笑不露齿 话不高声
They don't laugh too loud or talk too loud.
她们太过中规中矩 他说 她们很无聊
"They're too normal," he says. "They're boring."
无聊？那是什么意思？
Boring? What's that?
我所有的朋友都有孙子孙女了
All my friends have grandchildren,
我这儿八字还没一撇呢
and here I am with nothing on the horizon.
他那么优秀 医生 帅气
And he's such a catch. A doctor, handsome.
他很帅气
He's so handsome.
但他说他想要有趣的
But he says he wants someone interesting,
特别的人 听听 奇怪的人
someone unique... get this, someone weird.
奇怪？
Weird!
我有个合适人选！
I've got the perfect girl for him.
貂皮是你对丈夫说
Mink is the ultimate way for your husband
“我爱你”的终极方式
to say, "I love you."
它是最受欢迎的皮毛 过几年也不过时
It's the most popular fur and will last for years.
非常持久
Very durable.
浣熊皮跟貂皮比较相似 也很持久
Raccoon fur is similar to mink in that it's durable,
配色独特 鹤立鸡群
and the color scheme is unique and stands out in a crowd.
注意这一点 女士们
Note this, ladies: it is better to buy
买♥♥个奢侈的浣熊皮 好过买♥♥质量次的貂皮
a luxurious raccoon than a poor-quality mink.
现在 咱们聊聊协调套筒
Now, let's talk about coordinating muffs.
你的祖母叫它们手笼
Your grandmother called them "mufflers,"
但女士们 这不是你祖母的手笼
but, ladies, this is not your grandmother's muff.
嘿！-是？
Hey! - Yeah?
别从我的盘子里拿吃的
Don't be picking off my plates.
员工食堂在拐角
Employee mess is around the corner.
你想吃什么就拿什么 -谢谢
Grab what you want. - Thanks.
你是修水管的？
You in plumbing?
对 -需要床铺？
Uh, yeah. - Need a bunk?
是的 我需要 -这个没人住
Yes, I do. - That one's free.
好
Huh? - Yeah.
漫长的一天？
Long day?
累死我了
Uh, plunged my ass off.
好吧 我以为观测红胸松雀
Okay, well, I thought spotting that rose-breasted grosbeak
会是我们今天的亮点 但我错了
would be the highlight of our day, but I was wrong.
那是比克内尔画眉鸟
That's the Bicknell thrush.
伙计们 听到它动人的清晨叫声是很罕见的机会
And, folks, this is a rare opportunity to hear its beautiful morning song.
我们听一听
Let's listen.
他是个杰出的外科医生
He's an accomplished surgeon.
雷诺克斯希尔 在约翰斯霍普金斯时他是班里第一
Lenox Hill. First in his class at Johns Hopkins.
他想待在哪个医院都可以
Had his choice of residencies at any hospital he chose.