了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

Or their personal lives. Me. And Stan.
我甚至都不需要知道细节 但看看斯坦
I-I don't even need to know the details, but looking at Stan,
你就是想道歉
you just want to apologize
告诉他一切都会好起来的
and tell him everything's gonna be okay,
其实不会好起来的 因为他是斯坦
which it won't... 'cause it's Stan.
但那边的男人们 一般的男人
But men, those over there, and men in general,
都认为只有他们 才能用喜剧
think that they are the only ones who get to use comedy
填补他们灵魂上的空洞
to close up those holes in their soul.
他们到处散发流言说女人不幽默
They run around telling everyone that women aren't funny,
只有男人才幽默
only men are funny.
抱歉 给我一分钟 天啊 这东西好重
Sorry. Give me a minute. God, this thing is heavy.
好 说吧 -现在 想想这个
Okay, go ahead. - Now, think about this.
喜剧被沉闷所充斥
Comedy is fueled by oppression,
被权力的匮乏充斥
by the lack of power,
被悲伤和失望充斥
by sadness and disappointment,
被抛弃和羞辱充斥
by abandonment and humiliation.
谁到底比女人更能描述喜剧呢？
Now, who the hell does that describe more than women?
由那些标准断定
Judging by those standards,
只有女人才幽默！还有斯坦
only women should be funny. And Stan.
说到女人和斯坦的共同点
Speaking of things that women and Stan have in common,
喜剧展演 主持人：鲍比斯戴尔特
主演：乔伊帕克、尤金海耶斯、斯坦本宁 诺亚比恩鲍姆及其他
你听过这个说法
have you heard this term
“怀胎髋”吗？
"child bearing hips"?
你们大家是非常棒的观众
You've been a great audience, everyone.
我是梅赛尔太太 谢谢 晚安
I'm Mrs. Maisel. Thank you. Good night.
出去的路上 每个人都给那些男孩一个拥抱吧
On the way out, everyone give the boys a hug.
或者更好 新鲜的素材！
Or better yet, some fresh material.
谢谢！
Thank you.
谢谢！-糟糕 女士！
Thank you. - Shit, lady!
你应该更经常发臭
You should stink more often.
那是怎么回事？
What the hell was that?
他们是我的两个最好的喜剧演员 你今晚弄得一团糟
Those are two of my best comics you shit all over tonight.
是他们先开始的
Well, they started it.
我让某个流鼻涕的女喜剧演员让他们
How am I supposed to get them back here
在满屋子的人面前献丑
after I let some snot-nosed chick-comic take them down
我还怎么让他们回来演出？
in front of a room full of people?
场子并不满 -有一些人已经走了
It wasn't really full. - A lot of them had left already.
没关系！你不能到我的俱乐部
Doesn't matter! You don't come into my club
那样说我的摇钱树！
and talk like that to my best earners.
人们是来看那些家伙的！
People come in to see those guys.
没人来这里看你
Nobody comes in to see you
因为没有人知道你到底是谁！
'cause nobody knows who the fuck you are!
给 在我决定再也不请你来这儿之前
Now here, take your money and get out of here
拿着你的钱滚出去
before I decide never to book you in this place again.
我们第一场演出！-耶！
Our first gig! - Yeah!
♪ Where has the time all gone? ♪
Santé. - Santé.
好了 伙计们 最后一轮我请客
Okay, boys, and the last round is on me.
不行！你在干什么？你不能付钱！ 傲慢的美国人！
No! What are you doing!? You cannot pay! Arrogant American!
♪ We'll catch up ♪
♪ Some other time ♪
♪ Just when the fun is starting ♪
♪ Comes the time for parting... ♪
成了
♪ But let's be glad... ♪ - All set.
Oh, monsieur Weissman.
你真棒
You are wonderful.
有你这么优秀的男人在我房♥里住 是我的荣幸
It's been such an honor to have a brilliant man like you living in my house.
再见 玛丽
Good-bye, Marie. Au revoir.
帅气的男人
Handsome, handsome man.
我会为你祈祷
I'll pray for you... - Uh-huh.
解决你所有的算术问题
To solve all your math problems.
我很感谢多余的毛巾
I appreciated the extra towels.
♪ Still to be done ♪
♪ But time is racing ♪
♪ Oh, well ♪
♪ We'll catch up ♪
♪ Some other time... ♪
Au revoir, Rose!
拜拜
Bye-bye.
拜拜
Bye-bye.
♪ We'll catch up ♪ - Bye-bye.
♪ Some other ♪
♪ Time. ♪
泽尔达 招生处主任
Zelda, the dean of admissions
今晚会来吃晚饭
will be coming for dinner tonight.
他听说了我们的法国之旅
He heard about our trip to France
想吃点法国菜
and wants to have something French.
你会做法国菜吗？-不会
What can you make that's French? - Nothing.
你能做我们可以称之为法国菜 但其实不是
What can you make that we can say is French, isn't,
他永远都不会知道的菜吗？-菜烩牛肉
but he'll never know? - Goulash.
完美
Perfect.
我吃饱了
I'm done.
吃了他的早餐 怎么吃的？
He ate his breakfast. How did that happen?
我在他的鸡蛋里放了巧克力碎片
I put chocolate chips in his eggs.
你是个天才 你回家真好 妈妈
You're a genius. It's nice to have you home, Mama.
米里亚姆 你回家吃晚饭吗？
Miriam, will you be home for dinner?
我们要吃真的法国菜烩牛肉
We're having authentic French goulash.
我今天加班
I'm pulling a double shift today.
我们回来就没怎么见你
Well, we haven't seen much of you since we got back.
从来没听你说 我们离开的这段时间你都干什么了
Never heard what you were up to while we were gone.
我有五到八分钟时间 想告诉我吗？
I have five to eight minutes. Want to give me the highlights?
那个…我只是…
Well, I just...
出去玩 我出去玩
hung out. I hung out.
好 聊得好 我晚上6点回家
Okay. Good talk. I'll be home at 6:00.
晚上见 妈妈
See you later, Mama.
那你10点见我？-在哪见你？
So, you'll meet me at 10:00? - Meet you where?
我的办公室 -在哥大？
My office. - At Columbia?
当然 我们谈过的 你不记得了吗？
Of course. We had this discussion, don't you remember?
我完全不记得了
I have absolutely no memory of this.
他们不让女人旁听艺术史课
They don't let women audit the art history classes
除非她们是研究生
unless they're grad students.
不过 我跟系主任说过了
However, I talked to the head of the department,
他说他会破例的
and he said he would make an exception
但想知道什么课程
but wanted to know what classes.
什么什么课程？
What classes what?
你想旁听的课程啊
What classes you wanted to audit.
天啊 跟住我 女人
For God's sake, keep up, woman.
你认真的？-我告诉他我们10点15分会过来
Are you serious? - I told him we'd come by at 10:15.
他的办公室就在我的旁边
His office is right next to mine,
但我考虑到你穿那些高跟鞋走路很慢
but I was taking into account your slow pace in those heels.
所以 答应了？
So, yes?
嗯 -好
Yes. - Good.
到时见
See you then.
我给我们报了舞蹈课 在亚瑟莫里舞蹈室
Oh, and I signed us up for dance classes, Arthur Murray.
我们不能再像那晚在塞纳河畔 被抓到把柄了
We can't be caught out again like that night on the Seine.
我是说 我们跳得很好 但我们的舞技太差
I mean, we were adorable, but our technique was terrible.
泽尔达？我们今晚做酒闷仔鸡 我来帮忙
Zelda, we're gonna serve coq au vin tonight. I'll help.
什么？你说什么？ 你说你要帮忙？
What? What did you say? Did you say you'll help?
帮我做饭？你感觉还好吧？
Help me cook? Are you feeling all right?
要我叫医生吗？
Should I call a doctor?
♪ The butcher, the baker ♪
♪ The grocer, the clerk are secretly ♪
♪ Unhappy men because ♪
♪ The butcher, the baker ♪
♪ The grocer, the clerk ♪
♪ Get paid for what they do ♪
♪ But no applause ♪
♪ They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs ♪
♪ Good-bye ♪
♪ For anything theatrical ♪
♪ And why? ♪
糟糕
Fuck.
♪ There's no business like show business ♪
♪ Like no business ♪
♪ I know ♪
♪ Everything about it ♪
♪ Is appealing ♪
♪ Everything that traffic ♪
♪ Will allow ♪
♪ Nowhere could you get that happy feeling ♪
♪ When you are stealing ♪
♪ That extra bow ♪
♪ There's no people ♪
♪ Like show people ♪
♪ They smile ♪
♪ When they are low ♪
♪ Even when they tell you ♪
♪ That your show will fold ♪
♪ You may be stranded ♪
♪ Out in the cold ♪
♪ Still you wouldn't change it ♪
♪ For a sack of gold ♪
♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
♪ There's no people ♪
♪ Like show people ♪
♪ They smile when ♪