了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

I told him, "Get in there. Use what you got.
“男性最大的防御手段：
"The greatest defense in the male armory:
用脚踢他的蛋！
"foot to nuts. Foot to nuts.
“卑鄙点 你这个小混账！”
Fight dirty, you little bastard."
我得告诉你 我妈妈第一次说
I got to tell you, the first time...
“你自从世界毁灭之后长胖了那么多”
my mother says, "You've gained so much weight since the apocalypse,"
我会把门撬开一个缝 把我的头探出去
I'll pry the door open and stick my head outside, going...
“我的眼睛瞪出来了吗？
Are my eyes popping out yet?
“我的耳朵在流血吗？快说出血了！
Am I bleeding from the ears? Say that it's happening.
“请告诉我那个美好的发布就要发生了！
Please tell me that sweet release is imminent.
我是说 这…”
I mean, it's the...
最棒的酒令
greatest drinking game ever.
每次听到“嘀”的一声 都要喝一小杯伏特加
A shot of vodka every time it goes beep.
那我每半个小时就会吐一次
Then I throw up on the half hour.
我应该申请专利的 我应该…
I should patent this. I should...
把尸体埋起来！这不好 儿子
bury the body. It's not pretty, son,
但是我们不能把一个 死去的四岁孩子不埋就这样留下！
but we can't leave a dead four- year-old unburied like this.
只有苍蝇！
The flies, alone.
把你的沙桶拿过来 开始挖吧
Get your sand pail, start digging.
这会有趣的！
We'll make it fun.
等等！他还喘气呢！
Wait. He's still breathing.
他这是条顽固的生命 不是吗？
He's a stubborn little fucker, isn't he?
快 看看我的钱包 里边有个
Quick, look in my purse, there's a...
政♥府♥的小册子 我读过了 有说明的
government pamphlet I read on this with guidelines.
我们不应该把任何烦人的东西 带到放射性物体掩蔽室里
One was not to bring anything into the fallout shelter that would be unnaturally disturbing.
你意识到那是什么意思吗？
You realize what that means.
地面上成千上百个有放射性的犹太裔妈妈
Hundreds of radioactive, Jewish mothers above ground,
在上西区的街道上漫步
roaming the streets of the Upper West Side.
如果那不是核战争的威慑力量
If that's not a deterrent for nuclear war,
那我不知道这是什么意思…
I don't know what is. I mean...
报时女士在做♥爱♥时数着秒数吗？
does the time lady count off the seconds while she's having sex?
真的 没有男人想经历那些
Really, no man wants to go through that.
女人们 大多数我们睡的男人
And women, most men we sleep with,
他们会在“嘀”声爆的 你知道我什么意思吧？
they go off before the beep. You know what I'm saying?
然后我们就必须…
Then we have to...
自首
turn ourselves in.
杀死那个男孩是一回事
I mean, it's one thing to kill the boy,
但干掉他的其他家庭成员 他妈妈
but taking out the rest of his family, his mother,
他姐姐、他的狗
his sister, his dog...
我觉得人们发现了
I think people noticed.
谢谢大家
Thanks, everybody.
你们真是太让人欢乐了
You've been more than diverting.
我是梅赛尔太太 晚安！
I'm Mrs. Maisel. Good night.
嗨 很棒的观众
Hi. Great crowd.
对 后面那个家伙没笑 -没有人咳嗽
Yeah, this guy in the back wasn't laughing. - Not one cough.
他们不咳嗽 我就知道他们喜欢我的表演
It's when they don't cough that I know I got them.
我问他是不是外国人之类的
I asked him if he was foreign or something,
但他来自霍博肯
but he's from Hoboken.
苏西 99%观众都在笑
Susie, 99% of the audience was laughing.
那是件好事
That's a good thing.
你19号♥在那里时 每个人都笑了
You got 100% of that place on 19th.
那场演出真精彩
Ah, that was a great gig.
你23号♥在市中心的地方也让每个人都笑了
You got 100 at that Midtown place on 23rd.
23号♥不在市中心
23rd is not Midtown.
附近了 -没有
It's close. - It's not close.
就几步路 -必须坐车
It's a short walk. - It's a cab ride.
该死的哈利德雷克
Goddamn Harry Drake.
他在阻拦我的事业
He's stopping my career cold.
他要那么记仇吗？
I mean, how long can he hold a grudge?
嘿 各位 在场的哪一位 不爱我们的梅赛尔太太？
Hey, everybody. Who here doesn't love our Mrs. Maisel?
谁不爱自动竖琴的悦耳声音？
And who here doesn't love the dulcet tones of the autoharp?
掌声欢迎克林特高迪
Give it up for Clint Gowdy.
嘿 怎么回事？
Hey, hey. What the hell?
杰基 我告诉你多少次了
Jackie, how many times have I told you?
永远不能在这儿表演自动竖琴 意思是永远
Autoharps are permanently banned, meaning forever.
嘿 只要你让梅赛尔表演脱口秀
Hey, as long as you're off doing your Maisel thing,
那我就想订什么就订什么
I'm gonna book what I want to book.
自动竖琴、排箫、陶笛
Autoharps, panpipes, ocarinas.
你现在在跟我作对 -没错
You're just toying with me now. - That's right.
我要开始向你征收
And I'm gonna start charging for overnight stays
在煤油灯的过夜费了 肯定的
at the Hotel Le Gaslight. Count on it.
过夜？-没什么 别理他
Overnight stays? - It's nothing. Ignore him.
她一直睡在这儿
She's been sleeping here.
我厌倦每天早上必须给她叠被褥了
I'm getting tired of having to fold her bedding every morning.
你睡觉不干净
You don't sleep clean.
苏西 你不能睡在这儿
Susie, you can't sleep here.
放松 我不再睡这儿了 我和楼上的意大利一家人换公♥寓♥了
Relax, I'm not anymore. I swapped apartments with the Italian family upstairs.
抱歉 什么？-我换公♥寓♥了
I'm sorry, what? - I swapped apartments.
我在他们那住 他们在我的公♥寓♥住
I'm in their place and they're in mine.
你公♥寓♥里现在有一家子人？ 你家那么破
A family is in your apartment? Your place is a shithole.
如果你看了他们的住处就不会这么说了 好残忍♥
Oh, you'd change your tune if you saw their place. Brutal.
我们真应该对移♥民♥更好点
We really should treat immigrants better.
但万一哈利德雷克的手下找到你公♥寓♥呢？
But what if Harry Drake's goons show up at your apartment?
我不会在那儿啊 -对
I won't be there. - Yes,
但是意大利那一家子在 -我知道 是不是？
but the Italian family will. - I know, right?
我们需要一个长久之计解决哈利的骚扰
We need a more permanent solution to this Harry thing.
不能让无辜受害者牵涉进来 -我知道
One where there's no innocent victims. - I know.
这是你的内衣吗 苏西？你落在后面的
Is this your brassiere, Susie? You left it in the back.
天啊 杰基！
Jesus Christ, Jackie.
你觉得我怎么感觉？我以为是块抹布
Well, how do you think I feel? I thought it was a dishrag.
只是现在我知道送你什么生日礼物了
Well, at least now I know what to get you for your birthday.
罗斯 你不会被教授最高的标准来评判
You won't be judged by the professor's highest standard, Rose.
我不确定会符合他的最低标准
I'm not sure I could meet his lowest standard.
素描、画画 他会说
Sketching, drawing, he'll say,
“让你的手跟随你眼中所见”
"Let your hand follow what your eye sees."
我会努力的 我昨晚练习了一下
I'll try. I practiced a little last night,
画了一碗水果
drawing a bowl of fruit.
我的柠檬画得不错 但我的香蕉画得糟透了
My lemon was fine, but my banana was a disaster.
纹理不错…
It's getting the right texture...
你没事吧？ -怎么了？
You okay? - What's the matter?
她无法呼吸 -看着她！椅子！
She can't breathe. - Watch... her chair!
哦 天啊
My God, oh, my God.
太近了！
Too close, too close.
那是我们的主题？ -那是我们的主题
That's our subject? - That's our subject.
那是我们的主题
That's our subject.
那纹理会更难画
That texture's gonna be even harder to capture.
苏西！ -苏西！
Susie!
嘿 大家伙 怎么样？
Hi, everybody. How's it going?
Splendido! Siamo cosi grati!
好 数人头
Okay, quick head count.
一、二、三、四 还有小萨尔
One, two, three, four and there's little Sal.
好 全都活着 至今为止 太好了
Okay. Whew, all alive. So far, so good.
Susie, ecco la tua mail.
Devi essere moto importante.
谢谢 奶奶
Ah. Grazie, Grandma.
嘿！你或许想把那些窗帘关上
Uh, you-you might want to keep those shades closed.
我闲暇的时候
In my spare time,
一直在考虑无穷的性质
I've been thinking about the very nature of infinity...
它暗示着什么 它推断着什么…
W-what it infers, what it portends.
是的 -就因为这个 我在想
Yes, yes. -And for that reason, I was wondering
如果你洞察我的一个真英雄
if you had any insight on a true hero of mine,
伟大的德国数学家格奥尔格康托
uh, the great German mathematician Georg Cantor
以及他的天才作品
and his prodigious work,
这包括了他的“无穷的无穷”理论
which included his theory on the infinity of infinities.
格奥尔格康托
Georg Cantor.
我很高兴你提到了他 兰斯
I'm really glad you brought him up, Lance.
我喜欢你那么做
I love that you did that.
因为他让我想起一个我其实很关心的人
Because he reminds me of a man that I actually do care about,
那就是伟大的数学家亨利庞克莱
and that's the great mathematician Henri Poincaré.
庞克莱解决行星轨道中的
It's Poincaré's history of work on the solution
“三体问题”的工作史
of the three-body problem in planetary orbits
让他与众不同 虽然他没想出
that distinguished him, and although he did not produce