了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

你能弄清这些钱吗？
Can you figure out any of the money?
数字？-我认为这是个数字系统
The figures? - I think it's a numerical system
消除了数字六的数字系统
that has eliminated the number six.
什么？
What?
你把我关在自己的办公室外？
Coming in, schmuck. You lock me out of my own office?
她在对我的对账簿做什么？
What is she doing with my book?
你以为我没有自己办公室的钥匙？
You think I don't have a key to my own office?
这些账目不对 -当然对了
These books don't make sense. - Of course they do.
你想知道什么？-一切都不错
What do you want to know? - Well, everything would be nice.
这一栏是我们有的钱
This column is the money we have.
这一栏是我们会有的钱
This column is the money we will have
只要这一栏的人
as soon as these people from this column
或那一栏的人付我们钱
or that column pay us.
除非有个戳
Unless it has a bagel stamp,
那就意味着我们还在谈判
which means it's still being negotiated
但我们还是开始工作 以防谈成
but we started the work anyway in case it works out.
三个旗帜的话就意味着已经结清
Three flags, that means the check cleared.
两个花意味着一半一半
Two flowers, that means a half and half.
一半一半？-一半支票一半现金
A half and half? - Half check, half cash.
或者一半现金一半服务
Or half cash, half services.
或者一半什么一半什么的
Or half... something and half something else.
你让考夫曼和哈尔特写的这个东西吗？-我能
You have Kaufman and Hart write this bit? -Uh, can I
问问你 有个叫索尼
just ask you... um, there is a Sunny spelled with a "U"
锁尼和索妮的人
and a Sonny with an "O" and another with an I-E.
是一个索尼吗？
Is that the same Sonny?
当然是一个索尼
Of course it's the same Sonny.
是索尼 来自皇后区的索尼
It's Sonny. Sonny from Queens.
爸 你需要一个会计 -你在说什么 会计？
Pop, you need an accountant. - What are you talking about, accountant?
这是我自己发明的万无一失的系统
This is a foolproof system that I invented myself.
完全安全
Completely secure.
只有我能看懂
Only I can understand it.
我不知道
I don't know.
我要你知道 一次我们被审计查了
I'll have you know that we got audited once.
然后那家伙看了一眼对账簿
And when the guy took one look at this book,
我们就再也没见过他了
we never saw him again.
我解雇了他 那就是为什么我们再也没见过他
I paid him off. That's why we never saw him again.
爸 这太疯狂了 -好
Pop, this is crazy. - Okay.
够了 你来了 你看见了
Enough. You came, you saw.
谢谢你让我知道我做的一切都是错的
Thank you for letting me know that everything I do is wrong
你妈妈的会计系统是垃圾
and your mother's accounting system is a piece of shit.
它就是个垃圾
It really is a piece of shit.
我是认真的 你和你出去
I'm serious. You and you, out.
好吧 我们走之前
Well, all right. But before we leave,
我在墙里的隐秘处发现了这个账簿
I found this book in a secret hiding place in the wall.
不！把它放回去 你不应该看的
No! Put that back. You should not be looking through that.
这是特殊的贷款账簿！
This is the special loans book.
特殊的贷款账簿？ -什么？那是私人的
Special loans book? - What? That's personal.
别告诉我你从那些家伙手里借钱
Don't tell me you're borrowing money from those guys.
偶尔 -我无法相信
Once in a while. - I can't believe this.
你自己也看见机器都坏了
You see yourself... The machines break down.
那些机器很昂贵的
Those machines are expensive.
我们还有什么方法弄到那么多现金呢？
How else are we supposed to get that kind of cash?
从银行？ -你是什么 大人物吗？
From a bank? - What are you, a big shot?
银行不会打断你的腿 不会把你扔到河里的
Banks don't break your legs or throw you in a river.
我在上面看到书目 看到名字
I'm seeing amounts here. I'm seeing names.
但我看不到还钱的日期
But I'm not seeing any dates for when the loans are due.
我们知道什么时候还钱
Oh, well, we know when the loans are due.
几个家伙在晚上闯进来
A couple of guys break in in the middle of the night.
他们摔坏椅子打坏玻璃
They bust up some chairs and windows.
那时候我们就知道该还钱了
And that's when we know the loan is due.
雪莉 别帮我了？ -什么？
Shirley, stop helping me. - What?
我做错什么了？-没什么 妈 放松
What did I do wrong? - Nothing, Ma. Relax.
你为什么不去喝杯咖啡呢？
Why don't you go get yourself a cup of coffee.
现在外面有咖啡机了
There's a machine out there now.
有咖啡机了？
There's a coffee machine?
真棒的主意
Oh, what a wonderful idea!
回家去
Go home.
你知道吗 爸爸 我不要回家
You know what, Pop, I'm not going home.
我要留下
I'm staying.
我要过目那些假账簿
I'm gonna go through those cockamamie books,
我要把这里的事情弄到正轨上
and I'm gonna get things in shape around here.
我要开始解雇像曼尼那样好吃懒做的家伙
I'm gonna start by firing the low-hanging fruit like Manny.
曼尼并不好吃懒做！ 他还参加了你的成年礼！-他得走
Manny's not a fruit. He came to your bar mitzvah. -He's gone.
我今天就把他辞了 皮特也得走
I'm firing him today. Along with Pete,
他现在仓库里
who's in the storage room playing cards
和两个我不认识的人在打牌
with two other guys that I don't know.
他们也被开除了
They're fired, too.
这里每个游手好闲的人都得走
Every single freeloader around here, gone.
我要停止付他们薪水
I'm getting them off the payroll.
我要找个一周七天都能工作的修理工
I'm gonna find a fucking seven-day-a-week repairman.
一旦我知道这个地方不再像个精神病院之后
And once I know this place isn't being run like a mental asylum,
我就回家去！
then I'll go home.
这咖啡真好喝！
Oh, this coffee is delicious!
苏西：请吃这个
她得好好写写留言条
She's got to work on these notes.
我们有请安迪格里菲斯 来啊
Here comes one, with Andy Griffith bringing it in.
安迪格里菲斯
Andy Griffith!
你好 史蒂夫
Howdy, Steve. Well...
你旁边的是谁？
Who's next for you?
我有个段子 史蒂夫 去年七月
I've got one here, Steve, from last July,
在他们把两只老鼠送到太空飞船里之前
where they sent up two mice in a space rocket,
两只都丢了
and they-they lost them both.
我听说了这事 太糟了
I heard about that. It's too bad.
他们打算怎么找它们？
How do they plan to find them again?
他们想明白了 史蒂夫
Well, they got it figured out, Steve.
他们想到要发射一只猫
They figure they're gonna launch a cat.
猫？
A cat. Uh-huh. - Yeah.
谢谢 安迪 他待会就回来
Thank you, Andy. He'll be back in a little bit.
现在有请麦奎尔姐妹
And now, here come the McGuire Sisters.
晚安 苏西
Night, Susie.
晚安 伊森
Night, Ethan.
看 我们要给谢盖尔买♥♥吗？
Look. Should we get it for Sergei?
哦 天啊 不
Oh, God, no.
去市场？-去市场
To the market? - To the market.
我爱我们的星期四
I do love our Thursdays.
♪ How are ya fixed for moonlight? ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for stars? ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for kissing ♪
♪ While we listen to soft guitars? ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for someone ♪
♪ To watch the rain with? ♪
♪ To stroll down the lane with? ♪
♪ For someone to just go ♪
♪ A little insane with? ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for memories? ♪
♪ Memories that shine so bright? ♪
♪ If we let fancy take us ♪
♪ We could make us a few tonight ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for someone ♪
♪ Who'll fit your arms like a glove? ♪
♪ Hey, tell me, baby ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for love? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for kissin' ♪
♪ While we dig those wild guitars? ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for someone ♪
♪ Who'll fit your arms like a glove? ♪
♪ Hey, tell me, baby ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for ♪
♪ Tell me, baby ♪
♪ How are ya fixed for love? ♪
♪ I see trees of green ♪
♪ Red roses, too ♪
♪ I see them bloom ♪
♪ For me and you ♪
♪ And I think to myself ♪
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ I think to myself ♪
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
♪ Ooh, yeah. ♪
喂？
Hello?
嘿 小子 我是爸爸
Hey, pal, it's Daddy.
嗨 爸爸
Hi, Daddy.
哇 你现在都接电♥话♥了 小家伙？
Wow, you're answering the phone now, huh, buddy?
是大孩子了 -对
Big man now. - Yeah.
嘿 让你妈妈接电♥话♥ 好吗？
Hey, put your mommy on, okay?
好
Okay.
电♥话♥