了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

他回来了
He came back.
看起来好像我们可以把
And it seemed like maybe we could
那肮脏的出轨抛在脑后 你知道
put the whole sordid affair behind us, you know,
像法国人一样 然后有一天晚上…
be French, and then one night...
你们是出色的观众 女士们、先生们
You've been a great audience, ladies and gentlemen.
我就讲这么多 我叫梅赛尔太太
That's it for me. My name is Mrs. Maisel.
谢谢 晚安！
Thank you and goodnight!
成了！
It worked!
他们爱我的表演！那很棒！我不棒吗？
They loved it! That was great! Wasn't I great?
哦 我的天 傲慢 我创造了一个怪兽
My God, the arrogance. I've created a monster.
你是穿着短裙的诺曼梅勒
You're Norman Mailer in a cocktail dress.
好 抱歉 告诉我 演得好吗？
Okay, fine, I'm sorry. Just tell me, was it good?
得了吧 你不用我说啊 对吗？
Come on, you don't need me to say it, do you?
好的 你上
Okay, you're up.
我不要在你之后上台 你在开玩笑吗？
I'm not going on after that. Are you kidding me?
你害怕在一个女孩后面上台？-永远 到哪儿都是
You afraid to follow a girl? - Always and everywhere.
好的 女士们、先生们
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
我们今晚来这儿的原因
the reason why we're here tonight,
我请出兰尼布鲁斯！
I give you, Lenny Bruce!
伊丽莎白泰勒会成为米茨瓦德酒吧吗？
Will Elizabeth Taylor become Bar Mitzvah'ed?
不 我连续保证了 我会检点些
No, I promise continuity, I'll behave myself.
我会说彩排时说的话
I'll do all the lines that we rehearsed.
那是关键 你知道
That's the thing, you know,
我是出了名的有点
I have a, uh, reputation
饱受争议和不礼貌
for being sort of controversial and irreverent
还有坏品味的语义陷阱
and-and also the semantic bear trap of bad taste.
其实我的确被指责品味差
And actually I do have
而且永远都会被指责的
and-and always will be accused of bad taste
被那些在饭店吃饭
by the people who eat in restaurants
预订服务的那些人
to reserve service,
你知道 那种场景
you know, that kind of scene.
对 但你或许会对我为什么变得无礼而感兴趣
Yeah. But you might be interested in how I became offensive.
我想说 这开始于在学校喝酒…
Like, it started in school, uh, with, um... drinking,
我那时
and, uh, I was...
真的是个非常沮丧的孩子
Really, I was, like, this real depressed kid, you know.
七八岁的时候
And, uh, seven or eight years old,
我会把自己灌醉
and I'd get really juiced
然后发疯 这…
and out of my head, and...
对 所以老师会非常烦
Yeah, yeah, so the teacher would really get bummed, you know,
烦我唱歌♥没完没了
with me singing and carrying on
说哥伦布是个烦人精
and calling Columbus a fink,
吹捧亚伦伯尔
and-and boosting Aaron Burr,
然后抽烟
and then smoking.
瞧 我不知道你们能不能看到这个
See, I don't know if you can see this,
但我这里有个纹身 你们能看见吗？
but I have this tattoo. Can you see that?
看到了吗？ -对 你真棒
Aah! Did you see? - Yeah. You were amazing.
我很棒！
I was amazing.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
没什么 这只是个有趣的故事
Nothing. Just a funny story.
你在上面的时候 乔尔来了
While you were up there, Joel came in.
什么？-对 他来过 他看见…
What? - Yeah. He was here and he saw...
他听到了多少？
How much did he hear?
我不知道 -有多少？
I don't know. - How much?
都听见了
Well... all of it.
哦 天啊
Oh, God. Oh, God.
他看起来生气吗？
Did he, did he seem upset?
有点 他说了些话
A little. He said some things.
你跟他说话了？-说了几句
You talked to him? - For a second.
他说了什么？
What-what did he say?
他很生气
That he was upset.
你说了什么？-我说你是个伟大的喜剧家
What did you say? - I said you were a great comic,
你会成为明星
and you were gonna be a star.
我或许叫他为萨勒米尼奥
And I might have called him Sal Mineo.
我想指出
Which I would like to point out
许多人会把它当成赞美
that many people would take as a compliment.
糟糕！
Shit. Shit, shit...
米里亚姆！你要去哪儿？
Miriam, where are you going?
我不知道你会在那儿
I didn't know you were gonna be there.
如果你知道的话会怎么做？
And what would you have done if you did know?
对不起
I'm sorry.
为什么？
For what?
抱歉你听到了那些
I'm sorry you had to hear that.
然后他把婚戒给她 她就走了
And then he gave her his wedding ring and she just walked away.
就是那样
That's it.
真是悲剧
It's a tragedy.
我更喜欢杰瑞路易斯
I prefer Jerry Lewis.
我现在很可能应该下台了
I should probably get off the stage now.
感谢你们聆听
Thank you for listening.
我的名字是梅赛尔太太
My name is Mrs. Maisel.
那是我的艺名
That's my stage name.
我给自己起这个名字 那时候我以为
I-I gave it to myself when I thought
我真的要成为梅赛尔太太了
I was actually gonna be Mrs. Maisel,
发现这名字听起来十分具有讽刺性之后
and then after it just seemed darkly ironic, so...
我就保留了这个名字
I kept it.
那么…
So...
再见
bye.
这是一个刚从波士顿搬到纽约的心理医生
Here's the card of a psychiatrist who just moved to New York from Boston.
他为我的朋友希尔维亚普拉斯创造了奇迹
He's done wonders for my friend Sylvia Plath.
打给他
Call him.
谢谢
Thanks.
♪ Autumn in New York ♪
♪ Why does it seem so inviting? ♪
我只是不明白
I just can't understand
你的脑子里都在想些什么
what goes on in that head of yours!
就好像是个疯子！
It's like a panoply of meshuggeneh!
他是我们的儿子！-他不在做生意
He's our son. - He's not in the business.
他不明白 他很聪明 解释一下
He doesn't understand. He's smart. Explain it.
不！我不想解释
No, I don't want to explain it.
他选择让自己的生活分离
He chose to keep his life separate,
那就分离吧
so, goddamm it, keep it separate!
我没告诉他任何事情
Well, I didn't tell him anything.
你打给他了 你像个疯子一样给他打电♥话♥！
You called him! You called him like a crazy person.
如果我没事先找你
If I hadn't gotten to you first...
你找了 我挡过去了
Well, you did and I covered.
挡？稀里糊涂地挡过去
You covered? Like a Yiddish Theda Bara you covered.
他以为我没有奶酪了 他以为我疯了
He thinks I ran out of cheese. He thinks I'm insane.
他是对的！ -他可以帮忙
He's right! - He could help.
胡说！这个公♥司♥是我的事！
Bullshit! The company is my business.
我会顾好的！
I'll take care of it.
很好 -明白了？
Fine. - Understand?
很好！好！
Fine! Yes! Fine!
我无法相信你射了一个小丑！
I can't believe you shot a clown.
他的花开始到处喷水
His flower... whoa... Started spewing water all over the place.
彩色的围巾从他嘴里吐出来
Colored scarves were shooting out of his mouth.
人们拼了命地逃出那辆大众车
People were killing themselves to get out of that Volkswagen.
太棒了
It was great.
我得告诉你 萨维里纳 这食物太好吃了
I have to tell you, Saverina, this food is amazing.
我从来没吃过茄盒
I never had moussaka before.
你不会知道我出格
Wouldn't you know I go out of my way
娶了一个西西里女孩吧 而她只会做希腊菜
to marry a Sicilian girl, and all she cooks is Greek.
嘿 索菲亚 -嗯？
Hey, Sophia,
你找到我藏的二十五美分了吗？
you find that quarter I hid yet?
没有
No.
我结束的时候你还没找到的话
Oh, you don't find it by the time I finish,
我就拿回来
I'm taking it back.
不！
No, no, no, no, no!
好可爱的孩子
Cute kid.
谢谢 -那么 苏西
Thanks. - So, Susie,
我们一直在聊 如果你想让我们查一下你叔叔的事
we've been talking, and if you want us to do a little digging about your uncle,
我们知道他们在哪里埋人
we know where they, you know, do a little digging, if you get my drift.
哇 那提议真不错
Wow, that is a really sweet offer,