了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）

Attention, ladies.
胭脂大♥师♥班五分钟后
Rouge Master Class begins in five minutes
在露华浓专柜开始 -亲爱的 抱歉
at the Revlon Counter. - Sweetie, I'm sorry,
但你不能自己策划婚礼
but you can't plan your wedding by yourself.
事情太多了 让我帮忙吧
It's too much. Let me help.
米琪 谢谢 但没有时间了
Oh, Midge, thank you, but there's no time
而且没有钱 -别担心钱的事
and really no money. - Don't worry about money.
你需要的是经验 我有经验
What you need is experience and I have experience.
婚姻不长久 但是我的婚礼是难忘的
The marriage didn't stick, but my reception was unforgettable.
都上犹太日报《向前》的报道了
It got a write-up in The Jewish Daily Forward,
用依地语写的 所以阅读量不是那么广
in Yiddish, so it didn't get a wide readership,
但照片是轰动的
but the picture was sensational
我可以争取时间 为你 我的朋友
and I can make the time for you, my friend.
我不知道 -拜托？我想做
I don't know. - Please. I want to.
没人应该拥有不完美的婚礼
No one should have a less than perfect wedding.
好的 好吧
Okay. Yes. Yes!
好 -太好了
Good. - Really good.
我放心了 我们午饭时见
I'm relieved. I'll see you at lunch.
午饭时见
See you at lunch.
看看
Look at this.
高天花板 瓷砖地板
The high ceilings, the tile floor,
就像梵蒂冈
like the Vatican.
我感觉我忘了什么东西
I feel like I forgot something.
怎么样 卡伦？
How are we doing here, Curren?
为什么一个在布鲁克林后面的蠢银行
Why would a fakakta bank
会试图和教皇媲美？
in the tuchus of Brooklyn try to compete with the Pope?
我要开始记东西
I need to start writing things down,
但当我找到钢笔时
but by the time I find a pen,
我忘了我要写什么了
I forget what I was supposed to write down.
这好开放 好招摇 你不是犹太人
It's so open, so flaunting, so gentile.
犹太人也有银行 爸爸
Jews use the bank, too, Pop.
指给我看 嘿！
Show me one. Hey.
你是犹太人吗？-爸！对不起
You a Jew? - Pop. Sorry.
我们申请得到贷款吗 卡伦？
So, how close are we to wrapping this up, Curren?
卡伦是什么名字？
Curren. What is that?
只是在检查一切都是对的
Just making sure all the I's are dotted here.
他在检查 -我身后有一个团队在数钱
He dots the I's. - And I've got a team counting cash in the back.
那要花点时间
It'll take a while.
只有非犹太裔才检查 -我希望都在上面
Only a goy dots the I's. - I hope it's all there.
藏宝图保管得不好
The treasure map's in pretty bad shape.
藏宝图？她记录藏钱地方的东西
Treasure map? It's just what she calls her records marking where she put the money.
妈 你在找什么？
Ma, what-what are you looking for?
我感觉我忘了什么东西
I feel like I forgot something.
莫舍 你把我们那袋用来 贿赂人的钱带来了吗？
Moishe, did you bring the bag of money we use to bribe people?
我们有一袋用来贿赂人的钱
There's a bag of money we use to bribe people.
大点声 妈
A little louder, Ma.
我觉得波基普西的人听不到你
I don't think they heard you in Poughkeepsie.
卡伦 那不是个人名
Curren, that's not a name.
那是你往米饭上倒的东西
That's something you pour over rice.
爸 科利尔利先生是我的朋友阿奇的哥哥
And, Pop, Mr. Cleary is my buddy Archie's brother
他帮了很大的忙
and he's doing us a big favor here.
通过拿走我们的钱？ 我希望能帮别人这么大的忙
By taking our money? I wish I could do someone that favor.
库里先生 一个问题 -科利尔利
Mr. Curry, a question... - Cleary. Cleary.
不久后又要大萧条了吗？
Is there gonna be another Great Depression soon?
你就能告诉我们些什么吗？
Is that something you can tell us?
如果我可以 我就能当银行行长了
If I could, I'd be the president of the bank
或者美国总统
or the United States.
要像犹太人一样奋斗 你会成功的
Step on enough Jews, you'll get there.
现在我记起来了
Now I remember. I found this.
我找到了 就在一个散热器后面
It was behind one of the radiators.
妈 你说你找到所有钱了
Ma, you said you found all the money.
在第一张藏宝图上
On the first treasure map.
我今早又找到两张
I found two more treasure maps this morning.
我们要不要把它们锁在保险柜里？
Oh, should we lock these up in the safe?
它们展示了我们的钱在哪儿
They show where all our stashes are.
它们就像金子 -我现在保管这些
They're like gold. - I'm in charge of these from now on.
我们会没事吧？
Are we gonna be okay?
你…
You...
不是犹太人
are not Jewish.
感谢您光临B阿特曼
Thank you for shopping B. Altman. It's a little plain.
有时候我就是想更刺♥激♥点
Sometimes I just want to spark it up a little.
你知道吗？
You know? - Mm-hmm.
是的 女士 生活要是没了刺♥激♥ 还叫生活吗？
Yes, ma'am. What's life without a little spark?
那我做什么？怎么做？
So, what do I do? How do I do that?
你可以更大胆地尝试颜色
You could go bolder with the colors. - Oh.
比如呢？ -紫红色
Like what? - Fuchsia?
有意思
Oy. - Interesting.
或者橘色
Or maybe orange. - Aah!
丈夫们 一楼开设了一个新的等待区
Husbands, a new waiting lounge has opened up on the first floor.
你怎么在箱子里？
What the hell? You're in a box.
亚历山大女士让你在里面的？
Did Madame Alexander put you in there?
我是存衣间的侍者
I'm the coat room attendant.
这是我的工作 苏西 我为自己的工作感到骄傲
This is my job, Susie, and I am proud of the work I do.
是啊 那看起来真是 让灵魂得到满足
Ooh. - Yeah, seems really soul satisfying.
B阿特曼的顾客们 请注意
Attention, B. Altman customers,
商场十五分钟后就要关闭了
the store will be closing in 15 minutes.
你在这儿做什么？
What are you doing here?
我们今晚有演出 记得吗？
We have a gig tonight, remember?
记得 但是我们在俱乐部见面啊
Yes, but we were meeting at the club.
来这儿是顺路
This place is on the way.
这儿离你的路有二十个街区远
It's 20 blocks out of your way.
我想演出前跟你多待一会儿
And I like having extra time with you before the gigs
聊一聊
to talk, dish.
小萨米戴维斯在跟一个白妞约会
Sammy Davis Jr.'s dating a white chick.
你在挟持我去演出
You're frog-marching me to the gig.
那也对 -苏西…
That, too. - Susie.
我们有好几个演出要演呢
We have a bunch of gigs coming up
我不喜欢站在那儿傻等着
and I don't like standing there with my thumb up my ass.
我不是总迟到啊！
I'm not always late.
好吧 我们一起去 不是情愿的
Fine. We'll go together, under protest
因为我喜欢你对我的准时这么没信心
because I do not appreciate this lack of faith in my punctuality.
小薇？帮我打卡？-好的
Viv, punch out for me. - You got it.
我能帮您吗？-这个不行
How may I help you? - Not this.
这个和这个 -谢谢
This and this. - Thanks.
那个和那个都不对
Not that or that.
这个 这个 那个不行
This. This. Not that. - Ah.
不 那个不行
Ooh, not that.
这个和这个 有个美好的一天
This and this. Have a good day. - Ah.
你真是个小疯子 真的是
You're such a little freak. I mean, you really are.
我想聊点认真的事 大家伙
I want to get serious here for a minute, people.
核战争、噩梦、恐惧感
Nuclear war. The nightmare, the horror.
我不是指那些已经死了的
Oh, now, I'm not talking about dying in one.
我说的是在地堡中躲难生活
I'm talking about surviving and living in an underground bunker
直到放射物质解散的那一大家子
with your extended family until the radiation disperses.
赫鲁晓夫先生 你见过我的家人了吗？
Mr. Khrushchev, have you met my family?
如果你要打我们 同志 除掉我们吧
If you're gonna hit us, comrade, fucking obliterate us.
我很迷恋报时的女士
I'm obsessed with the time lady.
你知道她的 拨号♥码 听到
You know her. Dial the number and it's, "At the tone,
“此刻东部标准时间6点53分20秒 嘀”
Eastern Standard Time will be 6:53 and 20 seconds."
现在 下一次应该是6点53分30秒了 对吗？
Beep. Now, 6:53 and 30 seconds is next, right?
或许吧
Maybe.
但我愿意相信不是
But I like to think that it may not be
然后听到的确是的时候感到惊喜
and then be surprised when it is.
这个悬念让人如痴如醉
The suspense is intoxicating.
我一边喝酒一边表演
Oh, and I drink while I do this.
我没提到吗？我早应该提一下的
Did I not mention that? I should've mentioned that.
我儿子有一天在公园被欺负了
My son was bullied the other day at the park
我对那个男孩非常生气
and the anger I felt at that boy.
不是生气那男孩欺负我儿子 而是我儿子
Not the boy picking on my son, I mean my son.
因为妈妈可没养个懦夫啊
You know? 'Cause Mama didn't raise no pussies.
我告诉他：“去那儿 让他尝尝你的厉害