职介破事儿（2013）

I feel completely destressificated.
我感到彻彻底底的放松。
- Where do you want these, Trish? - Oh er... waiting area.
- Trish 你想把这些放在哪里？ - 呃...等候区吧。
First part of the plan --
计划的第一部分 --
relaxing bean bags instead of uncomfortable chairs.
用懒人沙发来取代不舒服的椅子。
I can't see where I'm going.
我看不清楚我在去哪里。
That's because you're the size of a Borrower.
因为你就和他一样大。
Do you think nine's enough?
你认为九个就行了吗？
You're not nervous, are you, Angela?
Angela 你紧张吗？
No... but I'm not doing it.
不... 但我不会去做的。
Why not?
为何？
I haven't had enough time to prepare.
我没有足够的时间准备。
- You are nervous. - I'm not.
- 你紧张。 - 我才没有。
If a jobseeker told you they didn't go to an interview
如果求职者告诉你们他们不想去应聘
because they didn't have enough time to prepare,
因为他们没有足够的时间准备，
- would you let them off? - Absolutely not. - Why?
- 你会让他们走吗？ - 绝对不。 - 为什么？
- Because it's an excuse. - Exactly...
- 因为这是一个借口。 - 这就对了。
.. and Angela Bromford does not accept excuses.
Angela Bromford 并不接受这个借口。
Never, ever pretend to be me.
不，别装作是我。
So, if you're not nervous
那么，如果你不紧张
and you don't accept lack of preparation as an excuse,
那你就不会把缺乏准备作为一个借口，
- I should let the audience in. - Wait!
- 我应该让顾客进来。 - 等等！
Angela, they're waiting.
Angela 他们在等。
- Tell me I'm special. - What?
- 告诉我我很特殊。 - 什么？
I need to feel special.
我需要感到与众不同。
Oh, you are special, Angela.
Angela 你当然独特。
You are very, very special.
你真的与众不同。
OK.
好的。
Hello, Brentford.
你好，Brentford。
You look relaxed. Sticky yum yum?
你感觉很放松。要来点儿吗？
Oh, I shouldn't.
我不应该。
Catch your breath and fill out a customer feedback form.
调整好你的呼吸，再填好这张反馈表。
Don't be afraid to use the word 'destressified', OK?
千万别害怕用“减压”这个词。
- I think that went well. - Well? I smashed it.
- 我觉得进行得挺好的。 - 我搞砸了。
- Don't know about smashed it. - Did you not hear that applause?
- 不要认为你搞砸了。 - 难道你没听到掌声吗？
My people love me.
我的人们都爱着我。
Are you not gonna stay and help me pack up?
你会留下来帮助我打包吗？
I'm the talent. 我可是天才。
Are you wearing perfume?
你用了香水吗？
French mint and... jasmine blossom.
法国制♥造♥，茉莉香型。
It's Natalie's. I miss her smell.
这是 Natalie 的。我想她的味道了。
Oh, man up, Karl! She's only been gone five minutes.
坚强起来吧。她才走了五分钟而已。
I can understand you wearing her knickers but... her perfume?
我可以理解你穿了她的内♥裤♥，至于香水嘛...
That's just weird.
就是挺奇怪的。
What are you talking about? What paper jam?
你在说什么？什么卡纸了？
There's no paper there to be jammed, you idiot.
根本就没有纸卡住，你这个笨蛋。
If you were a person I would kill you in your sleep.
如果你是个人，我一定会在你睡觉的时候杀了你。
Bad time?
坏时机？
Oh! Greg, hi!
Greg 你好。
No, no. I'm fine.
不，不，我挺好的。
I've bought your erm... jobseekers a gift.
我给你的，呃，求职者带了一份礼物。
Aw.
哇。
The gift of destressification. Shall I...?
减压的礼物。我应该...？
Oh er... yeah. Yes, that's fine.
对，这样就好。
Oh! Ooh!
哦！
How's that? Sensual?
这样怎样？舒服吧？
Yeah, yeah. No, actually, yeah, it's fine.
耶，不，其实，对，挺好的。
It's lovely. Really relaxing, thanks.
挺好的，真的很放松。
You know erm... my late wife, Lorna. She loved these.
你知道吗我过世的妻子，Lorna，挺喜欢这样的。
- Did she? - Yeah, yeah, she'd lie in my lap and then I'd --
- 她是的吗？ - 她会躺在我的怀里，然后我就会
I didn't know your wife Lorna, but...
我不知道你的妻子，Lorna，但是
I imagine that she would want you to be happy now. Move on.
我知道她肯定想让你过得开心，放下过去。
Not forget ALL about her, but... maybe find a new love.
不是彻彻底底地忘掉她，但是，或许找个新欢。
Do you want to do me now?
我现在想给我做吗？
Sorry?
什么？
Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.
噢！对对对，当然。
- I'm ready. - OK, erm...
- 我准备好了。 - 好的。
So, we'll just start with a few details.
我们先从一些细节开始。
OK, sure, that's fine. Fire away.
好的，挺好的。开始吧。
OK. Er... can I have your first name, please?
能告诉我你的名字吗？
Eoghan.
- On? - No, it's Eoghan.
- On 吗？ - 不，是 Eoghan。
Orn? Sorry, could you spell that for me, please.
呃？抱歉，你能拼写给我听吗？
- E. - A? - No, E.
- E. - A? - 不, 是 E.
E. Right, yep, sorry.
E。好的，不好意思。
O, G.
- J?
- No. G, like George.
- 不。G，就像 George 的首字母。
- Judge? - No, George, like George Best.
- Judge? - 不，是 George，就像 George Best。
- George Best? - Aye.
- George Best? - 对。
- I. - No, come here.
- 我。 - 不。看这里。
E-O-G-H-A-N.
- Eoghan. - Oh, right...
- 好的。
OK. Sorry, that's my fault.
抱歉，这是我的错。
- And er... can I take your surname? - McGeoghegan.
- 你能告诉我你的性吗？ - McGeoghegan.
- What? - Everything all right?
- 什么？ - 一切都还好吗？
Er... yeah, I'm just having some er...
呃。我与这个先生
communication issues with this gentleman.
有一些语言问题。
For God's sake, I'm speaking English.
天哪，我就是在说英语。
Oh, I see what the problem is here.
懂了，我觉得问题就在这里。
- (He is so drunk.) - No, no, Ash --
- （他醉了。） - 不，不
Trust me, Karl, I've done a module on this.
相信我，我知道是怎么回事儿。
We can't help you until you want to help yourself, OK?
如果你不帮助你自己的话我们也帮不了你。
So I'm gonna give you the number for an alcoholic support group.
我会把你的电♥话♥给戒酒互助会。
Yous pair are a disgrace. This is not the end of this.
你的搭档真差劲，这没完没了了。
God, you could really smell it on him, couldn't you?
天呢，你可以闻到他身上的味道，不是吗？
Oh, no, no. I think that's Natalie's perfume.
不，我认为是 Natalie 的香水。
And he's not drunk, Ash,
他没有喝酒，
he's just Irish. With a very strong accent.
他只是口音很大的爱尔兰人而已。
Oh, my God, I've just been horribly racist.
天呢，我简直是太种族主义了。
I'll have your feckin' jobs for this.
我对你的工作感到极其恼火。
Ah-h-h-h-h-h.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h.
Mummy made me mash my mini muffins.
妈妈让我捣烂我的迷你小松饼。
Mummy made me mash my --
妈妈让我捣乱我的
Oh, for God's sake, Angela. You must be warmed up by now.
Angela，看在上帝面上。你现在必须得热身好。
Never interrupt me when I'm in the zone.
不要在我的地盘打断我。
Drink.
水。
Morning, Miss Bromford.
早上好，Bromford 女士。
I'm sorry, they only had plain flavour crisps.
对不起，他们只有普通味道的薯片。
(Ask him if he got my rider.)
（问他用我的车没有。）
Miss Bromford says did you get her rider?
Bromford 女士询问你用她的车没有？
Yes, but these were all I could find.
用了，但这是我所能找到的所有东西。
Get me a Cheese and Onion Grab Bag, or I walk.
我要芝士洋葱味的。要不走路去。
We're finished. We're absolutely finished.
我们完了。我们彻彻底底地完了。
Mm-hm. He was proper angry.
他真的很伤心。
And insulted and humiliated, and the victim of a racist attack.
辱骂，羞辱还有种族歧视。
What are we gonna do?
那我们接下来怎么办？
We need to get that complaint back.
我们应该把投诉信拿走。
I could lose my job over this.
我会丢掉我在这里的工作。
I'm still on my three-month probation period, Karl.
我仍然在我的三个月试用期中，Karl。
All right. Well, look, we'll just get the form back.
好吧，我们就只好把表格拿回来。
Just calm down.
放松吧。
I can't, it's too late. My panic disorder's kicking in.
不行，太迟了。我的恐慌症要发了。
I'm nauseous, my heartbeat's erratic,
我开始恶心了，我的心跳都不稳定了。
- I'm absolutely dripping with sweat. - Well, what can I do?
- 我现在浑身是汗。 - 我还能做些什么？
I need to breathe, help me relax.
我需要呼吸，帮助我静下来。
I need to imagine I'm on a beach.
我需要想象我在沙滩上。
All right er... you are... You are on a beach.
好吧，你在沙滩上。
- Erm... it's a beautiful sandy - No, I don't like sand.
- 很漂亮的沙子。 - 不，我不喜欢沙子。
OK, er... it's a beautiful stony beach.
好吧。石头真漂亮。
Er... the waves gently lapping at your feet.
海浪在轻拍我的脚。
- It's too cold, Karl. - No, no, no. It's nice.
- 太冷了，Karl。 - 不，不，不。真好。
- Are there jellyfish? - No. No jellyfish.
- 这里有水母吗？ - 不。没有水母。
- The tide's coming in. - No. Ash, it's miles out.