职介破事儿（2013）

Here at Somerville Fertility Clinic
在萨莫维尔生育诊所
we pride ourselves on helping you to start a family.
我们致力于为不孕不育家庭送福音
Ready for the briefing? On my way.
准备好做简报了吗？ 这就去
Replace the carefully prepared donor sperm... Oh, whoops.
将精心准备的精♥子♥ 噢 哎呀
Shh! .. into your uterus
嘘! 在排卵期
close to the time of ovulation.
导入您的子♥宫♥
The freshly harvested sperm is inserted directly...
新鲜收获的精♥子♥直接送入
Do you want me to pretend I didn't hear that?
你介意的话我可以装作没听见?
No, no. I'm not ashamed.
不用不用 没什么丢人的
I'm embracing my situation, I'm going solo.
我这是接受现实 我一个人也能行
Bloody good for you, Trish!
你真牛 Trish!
It's not ideal, getting pregnant without a sexual partner.
不通过炮♥友♥怀孕还是别扭
It's a bit like... sausage and mash without the mash.
有点儿像 香肠土豆泥套餐里没了土豆泥
Oh, without the sausage, surely!
其实是缺了香肠吧!
Because it's like a willy.
因为香肠长得更像阴♥茎♥
Oh, yes! Yes, very good. Like a willy.
喔 是哦! 是很像 像阴♥茎♥
No, no. It's fine. You know, you've got to laugh.
没关系的 你拿来笑话我也没事
I'm buying sperm. I've got to suck it up and take it on the chin.
我买♥♥精♥子♥ 我破罐破摔了
Yeah, but mate, you haven't given me much notice.
是啊 兄弟 你一点儿预兆也没有啊
Because I just found out. But who am I gonna get to move in?
因为我也是才知道 那我找谁来住呢?
I don't know, someone. Oh...
我不知道 总会有人的吧 噢
Listen, I'm moving my stuff this week. You can give me a hand.
听我说 我这周就搬东西 你来搭把手
Look, I'll... I'll call you later. OK, bye.
再说吧 我回头打给你 拜拜
You all right, my love?
你没事儿吧 亲?
Mm. Fine thanks, Janette.
没事 谢谢关心 Janette
I couldn't help overhearing your flatmate's moving out.
我不小心听到的 你的室友要搬走了
Oh, you heard that, did you?
你听见了哈?
Why don't you ask Natalie to move in?
你怎么不叫Natalie搬过去住?
Oh, well... yeah. I'd have to think about it.
是啊 也不是不行
That'd be lovely, that,wouldn't it? Oh, yeah.
那样就两全其美了 不是吗? 是吧
Oh, here she is. Why don't you ask her now?
她来了 为什么不现在就问她?
Ask me what? Karl's flatmate's moving out
问我什么? Karl的室友要搬走了
and he wants you to move in with him.
他想让你搬去陪他
Do you?
是吗?
I... I'd love it. What do you say?
我非常乐意 你呢?
You can... You can say no, if you want to.
你要是不愿意可以说出来
Why would she say no?
她怎么会不愿意呢?
She still lives at home with her dad.
她现在还跟她爸爸一起住家里呢
Even I know that's sad. Yeah, all right, Janette.
连我都知道不方便 别说了 Janette
You want to, though, don't you? Be lovely, happy families together.
你还是愿意的吧? 一起愉快地过日子啊
That'd be lovely. I think that's a yes.
那样就好了 她说愿意
Mm.
嗯
OK, word up, everyone. I'd like to introduce Ash Mourad,
大家听一下 我来介绍Ash Mourad
he's our new District Work Psychologist.
他是我们新来的区工作心理专家
Hello, everybody.
大家好
Ash is here to help people overcome the mental barriers
Ash的工作就是帮助大家克服心理障碍
that may be stopping them from working.
解决工作上的困扰
And he's here to help our jobseekers too.
他也是要帮助求职者的
Very good. Excellent banter with the...
很好 玩笑开得
Oh, that's me to a T, isn't it, guys?
除了我还有谁 大家说呢?
Ash, why don't you tell everyone
Ash 跟大家讲讲
how you do the voodoo that you do so well?
你的巫术是怎么发挥魔力的?
Also very, very humorous.
非常 非常幽默
But psychology's not voodoo,
但是心理学不是巫术
it's a highly regarded science of the human mind. Yeah, of course.
是非常重要的人类心理科学 当然
I'm here to unlock the reasons behind why jobseekers are struggling to get work.
我的工作职责是解决求职者找不到工作的原因
How you gonna do that, then?
你打算怎么解决?
Oh, lots of different ways,it's actually quite boring!
有很多的不同方法 其实也挺无聊的
Mm, sounds it.
听起来是这样
Ash sometimes uses hypnotherapy.
Ash有时会用到催眠疗法
Do you have people running round thinking they're chickens and taking their clothes off?
你见过有人以为自己是只鸡 脱♥光♥了衣服跑来跑去?
Oh, no. God knows I've tried, but...
没有 我也很想见识一回
He's not a stage hypnotist, Jeanette.It's more like mind-reading.
他不是舞台催眠师 Jeanette 是有点像读心术那种
It's not mind reading, Paul, it's deductive reasoning.
不是读心术 Paul 是推理演绎法
Like Sherlock Holmes.
福尔摩斯那种
Well, yeah, I suppose I do look for clues in people.
算是吧 我也是在人身上找出线索
Brilliant, do Sherlock Holmes on me. What can you tell about me, eh?
太好了 用福尔摩斯那套看看我 你能看出什么来?
This is probably wrong
没准说的不对
but I would say that you had cornflakes for breakfast?
但是我猜你早餐吃了玉米片?
That is genius! How can anybody possibly know that? It's...
天才! 这怎么会有人知道呢?
OK, everyone, Ash isn't a performing monkey.
好啦 Ash不是来耍猴的
No, no. This is fun. Do someone else. Do someone else.
不用不用 挺有意思的 换个人试试 换个人试试
OK, erm...
可以 嗯
Angela, is it?
你是Angela?
I've noticed you've got a rather large set of keys on you.
我注意到你身上挂了一大串钥匙
This suggests to me you're the kind of person that likes to be in control,
这说明你是那种掌控欲强的人
a D type personality.
D型人格
These types of personality often find it very difficult to empathise with people,
这种型的人很难跟人产生共鸣
often preferring animal contact, possibly cats,
喜欢跟动物打交道 大多是猫
because cats can't challenge or judge them.
因为猫不会怀疑或者批评他们
And...
另外
Was I close? Erm... Yeah.
我说的准吗? 额 准
You're in... in the right area.
你来对地方了
Something troubling you, young Karl?
年轻人有烦心事儿了 Karl?
Ah, don't worry. I don't want to bore you with my problems.
别担心 我不想拿我的问题打扰你
Fair enough. It's Natalie.
那算了 是Natalie
She finally dumped you? No.
她终于把你甩了? 不是
Actually I asked her to move in with me.
其实是我叫她搬来跟我一起住
Oh, right. And she said no and you're worried she's gonna dump you?
哦 是这样 她拒绝了你 你担心她要把你甩了?
No, she said yes,
不是 她同意了
and I'm worried because we already spend all day together.
我担心是因为我们已经整天都在一起了
Gotcha. And you think she's gonna get bored of you and THEN dump you?
明白了 你觉得她早晚腻了然后甩你?
Paul, I'm not worried she's gonna dump me. Really?
Paul 我没有在担心她会甩我 是吗?
No, I'm worried about us not having our own space.
没有 我担心这样我们就没有自己的空间了
The answer is simple, Karl.
答案很简单 Karl
Yeah, talk to her honestly and tell her how I feel.
我知道 老实跟她谈 说出我的真实想法
No, get a shed.
不对 给自己弄个窝
It's just that sometimes I like to turn all the lights out
有时候我喜欢把所有灯都关上
and play Final Fantasy in my pants.
在内内里面玩最终幻想
You can do that in a shed.
你可以在窝里玩
You know, I've never...farted in front of her.
我连屁都没在她面前放过
You're not hearing me about this shed, are you?
我跟你说窝你没听见吗?
Look, of course you're gonna have to make a few compromises.
你需要做一些妥协是当然的
Yvette makes me do sit down wees so I don't splash the lino.
Yvette为了不弄脏地毡让我坐着尿尿
I have to go down the pub to watch the football.
我想看球赛得去楼下的酒吧
But every morning I wake up with the person I love.
但是每天早晨我醒来 在枕边的是我爱的人
Cos I sleep on my own in the shed.
因为我在自己的窝里睡
Bet you hear all sorts, don't you?
你肯定听过了各种各样的烦恼?
People asking you about their recurring dreams.
人们各种反复出现的噩梦
Like when all their teeth fall out in Top Shop!
比如在Top Shop店里牙全掉光光
I mean, what is THAT about?! Yeah.
你说那样的梦是什么意思? 是啊
No, seriously, what's that all about?
不开玩笑说真的 那样的梦意味着什么?
Oh, I don't know. Oh, cool. It's not important.
我不清楚 好吧 不重要
Ash, as a therapist you can keep a secret, right? Oh, of course.
作为治疗师你会保密吧? 当然
Yeah, this is no longer the learning room, think of this as the inner sanctum of trust.
这儿不再是学习室 就把这儿当做一个充满信任的圣地
Perhaps I should begin by sharing something private about myself.
我先来分享一些我自己的私事
Oh, that's really not necessary.
你真的不必这样
I have a shy testicle.
我的睾丸不太有劲儿
Does that make you feel more comfortable?
有没有让你感觉放松一些?
Not really.
并没有
Basically my boyfriend, Karl,asked me to move in with him
是这样的 我男朋友Karl 叫我搬去跟他住
and I said yes but I don't really want to.
我同意了 但我其实并不想去
This is good, we're sharing.
很好 我们正在分享
He's fantastic, we're just not ready to live together
他很好 只是我们还没有准备好一起生活
and I don't want to hurt his feelings.
我不想伤他的心
Honesty is always the best policy. I don't know.
最好还是实话实说吧 我不知道
He was obviously nervous about asking, he got Janette to do it for him.
当时他明显很紧张 还是Janette代他开的口
If I tell him the truth it's gonna break his heart.
我要是实话告诉他 他肯定要伤心
So, what do you think?
你说呢?
I think an honest penny is better than a stolen pound.
我说千金难买♥♥真心话