职介破事儿（2013）

What does that mean? Not sure.
什么意思? 我也不确定
When you're spending as much on sperm as I am
要是你像我买♥♥精♥子♥一样花这么多钱
you expect in-depth information.
你也想知道深入的信息
Right, OK. For instance, number 512, the accountant.
这才对 好 不如说 512号♥ 这个会计
It says here he likes playing sport.
上面写他爱好运动
For all I know that could mean darts.
据我所知玩飞镖也算运动
No, I think you should know.
不 我觉得你们应该知道
I don't want my baby to be sired by Phil 'The Power' Taylor.
我可不想我孩子的爹是个射飞镖选手
Sorry, I've got to go. Thank you.
抱歉 我得挂了 谢谢
Tea?
喝茶吗?
Oh, one and a half sugars?
一勺半糖?
How did you know I wanted extra sugar?
你怎么知道我要多加糖?
You always have extra sugar when you're stressed.
你焦虑的时候总是多加糖的
How do you know I'm stressed?
你怎么知道我焦虑?
Chew your pen when you're stressed.
你一焦虑就咬笔头
I haven't been Your lips are blue, you look like a corpse.
我没有 你的嘴唇是蓝色的 像个僵尸
Eww, Trish! Go and wash it off in the toilets, then.
诶 Trish! 那你去洗手间洗洗吧
Honestly, Karl. You can't hide anything from me.
承认吧 Karl 你什么都瞒不了我
I know you better than you know yourself.
我看你比看我自己都清楚
Do you want to turn that off? What?
你要不要把它关上? 你说什么?
Switch it off or I'm calling security.
要么你关上音乐 要么我叫保安
Can't hear you, music's too loud.
我听不见 音乐太闹
Security!
保安!
Can you make people regress to a past life?
你能让人回到前世吗?
I've always thought I might have been a gladiator.
我一直坚信我可能曾经是个角斗士
I think we might be getting our wires crossed.
我想我们说的不是一个意思
You see, what I do is hypnotherapy.
我是催眠治疗师
Can't you Google it?
不能谷歌♥出来吗?
You can't just Google the power of mind control.
精神控制的能力不是谷歌♥了就有的
Everyone would be doing, can you imagine?
要是人人都能做 你想象一下那成什么样子?
It would be mayhem! Absolute madness.
那就乱了! 真疯狂
Google mind control.
快谷歌♥精神控制
Turn it off.
关上它
Oh, funky little tune.
小曲儿音浪挺强
Have you got crabs? Oh, I wish.
你养过螃蟹吗? 要是养过就好了
Well, this has been delightful.
进行得挺欢乐啊
Good. Cos she's your first customer.
好 她就是你的第一个客户
I'm sure you'll be able to unlock the reasons why SHE can't find work.
我相信你一定能解密她为什么找不到工作
Great, well I look forward to --
好 我很乐意
Cool.
没关系
I'll catch you later.
我一会儿再来找你
Hello. Hey.
嗨 嘿
Oh, Karl, while I'm here
Karl 我来呢
I just need to ask you a few questions for an HR thing.
是问你几个问题 人事方面的东西
Bit boring. Anyway, question one:
虽然有点无聊 第一个问题
Would you say you're in a good state of health?
你身体健康吗?
Er... Yeah, I suppose.
额 我觉得健康
Any underlying health issues? Asthma,colourblindness? Hypertension?
没有什么潜在健康问题吧? 哮喘 色盲?高血压?
I do sometimes get a blocked ear.
我有时候耳朵有点背
OK, and does that cause complete deafness?
好 会造成失聪吗?
Pardon?
你说什么?
Good sense of humour. Of course, I knew that anyway.
真幽默 当然 这我都了解
Ever have any dark thoughts? What?
你有没有过阴暗的想法? 什么?
An urge to kill? No. Sorry, is this for HR?
杀人的冲动? 没有 这是给人事的?
That's right, yeah. It's just a little report.
是啊 一个小小的调查
How did your grandparents die? They haven't.
你的祖父母是怎么死的? 他们还健在
None of them? Oh, wow.
都健在? 哇
And are they well within themselves?
那他们身体都还好吗?
Well, my nan's got diabetes. Type one or two?
我奶奶有糖尿病 一型还是二型?
Mm... Type two.
嗯 二型
Oh, that's brilliant news.
真是好消息
Karl, I'd like to buy you lunch.
Karl 我请你吃午饭
Oh, feel free to order whatever you want.
你想吃什么随便点
Have the surf and turf.
就点海陆大餐
It's steak... and scampi!
牛排跟龙虾
Yeah, I was just gonna get a sandwich.
我还是要个三明治吧
Oh, at least have a side of breaded mushrooms, Karl,
你至少也点一套炸蘑菇配啊 Karl
for crying out loud!
真是的!
What is this about?
你到底想干什么?
Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking
我想了很久
and I've come to a decision.
终于做了个决定
Are... Are you giving me the sack?
你要炒了我?
Quite the opposite, actually.
恰恰相反 实际上
I'm... giving you the sack?
让我炒了你?
Hopefully, in a roundabout way.
可能太拐弯抹角了
I am looking for a sperm donor.
我在找一个捐精的人选
But I want to get pregnant the natural way, with a man I trust.
但是我想用自然的方法跟知根知底的人生孩子
Not a stranger I don't know.
而不是我不认识的陌生人
I want a man who's kind and caring, a good listener.
我想找的人要善良有爱心 善于倾听
Capable of getting on with all sorts of people
能跟所有人都相处的很好
from a disabled child to the Prime Minister himself.
不论是残疾的小孩还是首相大人
You've just described Phillip Schofield.
你说的是电视节目主持人Phillip Schofield
Pip Scho would be perfect, yes,
Pip Scho最符合要求 是的
but no, listen.
你听我说
I've decided that the... erm...
我已经决定了
.. perfect man to 'do the deed'...
这个的最佳人选
.. is you.
就是你
What do you say?
你看怎么样?
Erm... OK.
这个嘛
With the greatest of respect,
出于对你最崇高的敬意
and I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but...
而且我不是想伤害你 可是...
.. fuck off, Trish!
滚你妈蛋 Trish!
You are feeling sleepy.
你觉得很困
Your eyes feel heavy and that is absolutely fine.
你感觉眼皮很沉 放轻松
You are at one with the core of your being.
你来到了你的内心深处
You're right, this is a load of balls!
你说的对 这上面都是瞎说!
Paul?
Paul?
I'll be in my office if you change your mind.
你改主意了就来办公室找我
I won't.
我才不改
You will not believe what just happened.
你肯定不会相信刚刚发生了什么
Can you tell me later?
这个以后再说
We need to talk.
我们需要谈谈
Oh, OK.
啊 可以
About moving in together, just gonna be totally honest with you, I...
搬到一起这件事儿 我要跟你说实话实说 我...
.. can't.
不能搬
Oh.
哦
Oh, that is such a shame.
真是太可惜了
I mean, I'd love to,obviously. You know I would.
我的意思是 我很乐意 当然我是很想啦
Because you're great and the flat's great and we're great and...
因为你很好 公♥寓♥很好 我们也很好
It just has absolutely nothing to do with you
绝对不是因为你
because you are totally great.
因为你实在是太好了
Cool. Oh!
没关系 噢!
Great. Oh, hang on a minute, sorry.
很好 等一下 你不介意的话
So... er... why?
那么 因为什么呢?
Why can't you move in with me?
你为什么不能搬来跟我一起住?
Oh, because...
那是因为
I can't move in with you... well.
我不能搬
The facts of the matter are... Is that because...
实际上是因为 是因为
Because I am massively in debt.
因为我欠了一大笔债
Really? Yeah, drowning in it.
真的? 债台高筑
Up to my eyeballs. How much do you owe?
压得我喘不过气来 你欠多少?
12 large. 12,000 pounds?
一万两千磅 一万两千磅?
Yeah. And a half.
嗯 还有五百
Why didn't you tell me?
你怎么没有告诉我?
Because of the shame. You don't need to be ashamed, Natalie.
我觉得丢人 没必要觉得丢脸 Natalie
I am your boyfriend
我是你的男朋友
and I am gonna make sure that you get expert advice.
我保证给你专家级的建议
So, you've got debt problems?
你有债务问题?
That's right. Big time.
是这样 很严重
Sorry, Karl. What is this?
那什么 Karl 这叫什么来着?