职介破事儿（2013）

This is an intervention, Natalie.
叫干预调解 Natalie
Ash is a psychologist, he can help.
Ash是心理治疗师 能帮上忙
And this debt is the reason why you can't move in with Karl?
你是因为债务才不能搬去跟Karl住在一起的?
Yes, Ash. That is the reason.
是的 Ash 就是因为这个
Right. I think now might be the time to be completely honest with Karl.
好吧 我想现在可能就是跟Karl坦白的时候
So, if there's anything that you're not telling him --
如果你还有什么没告诉他的话
I've said everything.
我已经说完了
What have you spent twelve and a half grand on?
你这一万两千五百磅都花在哪儿?
Gambling. What?
赌博 什么?
What? Yeah.
什么? 没错
Horses, dogs, football.
赌马 赌狗 赌球
Hold-up, you know nothing about football.
这不对啊 你根本不懂球啊
Exactly, why do you think I'm in so much debt?
说得对 你以为我是怎么欠这么多债的?
Right, I think this might be getting a little bit out of hand.
行了 我感觉这事儿越发不可收场了
Of course it is.
就是这样
But when you're on a losing streak you just keep spending
连输几场之后就会继续投更多的进去
more and more to try and make back your losses.
想扳本
It's hard to know when to walk away.
不知道什么时候是个头
And when to run.
什么时候抽身
Come here, come on.
来 没事的
Listen, I am gonna make this right, I promise you.
听我的 我会帮你解决的 我保证
You don't have to do that.
你也不是一定要帮的
Can you hear me, Paul?
你能听见我说话吗 Paul?
My name is not Paul, my name is Solomon.
我不是Paul 我的名字是Solomon
Where are you, Solomon? In a large field.
你在哪儿 Solomon? 一片大的场地上
Is it Cannock Chase? No.
在坎诺克蔡斯? 不是
It's hot. I'm with lots of other people
很热 还有很多人
and we're picking cotton. Oh, my good God!
我们在摘棉花 我的天啊
I am a slave. My master treats me cruelly.
我是奴隶 我的主人虐待我
How long have you been a slave?
你成为奴隶多久了?
12 years.
12年
Oh, you bugger!
该死的!
I thought I had the gift.
我还以为我有这天赋呢
OK, I'll do it.
好了 我♥干♥
This whole... pregnancy thing. Let's do it.
这个 怀孕的事儿 我愿意
But... Are you sure?
可是 你确定?
You dropped the... erm....F-Bomb in a pretty major way.
你脏话说的挺漂亮的
Yeah, sorry about that. It was a...
哦 抱歉
.. bit harsh. Now, this doesn't make me a man whore
话说的有点不好听 我不是出♥卖♥♥♥肉体
but I will need paying.
但是我需要经济补偿
How much are we talking? 12 and a half thousand pounds.
你说多少? 一万两千五百磅
How much?!
你说多少?!
Fine, I'll take a hammer to my piggy bank.
行 我把小猪存钱罐里的钱都掏给你
Plus VAT. VAT?!
外加增值税 增值税?!
You can't add VAT onto your sperm, Karl.
你不能对精♥子♥收增值税 Karl
It's not a luxury item.
这又不是什么奢侈品
Yeah, well... We'll waive the VAT.
是呵 那增值税不要了
When do we do this? It's got to be tonight,
我们什么时候做? 就今晚
I'm ovulating like a bitch.
老娘正排卵
How long have you been out of work?
你失业多久了?
Why do you feel the need to be on your phone constantly?
为什么你需要频繁用手♥机♥?
Cos Crap Dawn's slagging me off on Facebook.
因为傻♥逼♥Dawn在脸书上骂我
Sorry, who's Crap Dawn?
傻♥逼♥Dawn是谁?
Shit Paul's step sister.
傻♥逼♥Paul的后妈带来的妹妹
Of course.
是这样
Erm...
额嗯
Would you describe yourself as a happy person?
你会用快乐来形容你自己吗?
No, I've just been called potato tits online
不会 网上有人叫我土豆奶
and it's got 84 likes.
还得了84个赞
You see, some people use their mobile phones as a defence mechanism.
你看 有人用他们的手♥机♥为自己建立保护机制
Look, I get it. We talk, I cry
这样好了 我们聊天 我痛哭流涕
and you work out the reason I haven't found a job
然后你发现我找不到工作是因为
is cos I got diddled by some bloke at Brownies.
我女童军会被男孩欺骗了感情
Were you diddled by some bloke at Brownies?
你在女童军会被男孩骗过?
No.
没有
If anything I made the first move.
就算有也是我主动的
I still feel that you're suppressing something, Bryony.
我还是觉得你在压抑着什么 Bryony
A trauma perhaps? Have you lost anyone close to you?
精神创伤? 你有没有失去过亲人?
No. A family member? A friend? A pet even?
没有 家人? 朋友? 宠物也行?
No, dickhead. I have not lost a member of my family
没有 笨蛋 我没有失去过家人
or a friend or a rabbit.
朋友或者兔子
What was the name of rabbit, Bryony?
兔子叫什么名字 Bryony?
Snowdrop. And what happened to Snowdrop?
Snowdrop Snowdrop怎么了?
He fell asleep in the washing machine.
在洗衣机里睡着了
By the time we realised
等我们发现的时候
Mum had put him on an extra rinse.
我妈已经放到加强漂洗那档了
It was too late.
来不及了
He was dead.
他死了
But clean.
好歹干净
Thank you so much. Good luck with the job seeking.
太谢谢你了 祝你求职顺利
Good luck with your shy testicle.
也祝你睾丸好运
She is such a sweetheart.
她真是个可爱的姑娘
More woman problems?
还愁女人的事儿呢?
Hm?
嗯?
Women.
女人们
Come on, then. Tell your agony uncle.
来吧 跟知心大叔说说
Chances are I'd have been through something similar.
说不定我遇到过类似的事儿
Yeah?
是吗?
I'm having sex with an older woman
为了帮我的女朋友还非法赌博欠的债
to pay for my girlfriend's illegal gambling expenses.
我要跟一个老女人上♥床♥了
Oh, that old chestnut.
这么老套
What are we talking? Over 40 but still naughty
说的是谁? 年过四十还不正经的那种女人?
or so old there's a danger you'll break her hips?
还是老得你怕弄折她的髋骨的那种?
It's Trish.
是Trish
Christ on a bike, Karl!
呜啦啦 Karl!
You're chalking 'em up, in't ya.
你打算逐一攻陷她们吗?
You'll be knocking off Janette next week. I have no choice.
下周你就扑到Janette 我也不想啊
Trish thinks I'm a perfect fit to father her child
Trish认为我最适合做她孩子的爸爸
and Natalie's desperate for money. What would you do in my position?
Natalie急需用钱 你要是我你怎么办?
Let's get down to brass tacks. Keep it simple.
咱们回到实质问题上 想得简单点
Drop of Asti Spumante,some sparse up-lighting
一点气泡酒 微微的光线
and the Paul Franks lovemaking playlist.
外加Paul Frank主演的爱情动作片
You'll find it on Spotify.
在声破天播放器上就能找到
I don't want lovemaking advice, Paul.
我不是要这方面的建议 Paul
I just want to get through it.
我是想熬过去
I'm worried I'm never gonna get rid of the image of her... on me.
我怕永远都忘不了她上我的画面
So, you've imagined her on top?
你已经想到了她在上面?
As have I, my friend. As have I.
我也想过 兄弟 大家都一样
I think the best thing you can do is film the entire thing,
我觉得你最好在做的时候把全程拍下来
show me and I'll help you with the therapy.
给我看 我来帮你疗伤
I'm really starting to wonder why I come to YOU for advice.
我怎么会想要来问你意见呢?
Call me if you need a wing man.
需要帮忙就打给我
Righty-oh, then. Get yourself nice and comfy.
马上开始 你怎么舒服怎么来
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
Would you like something to look at?
你想看点什么吗?
Build yourself up for the big moment?
关键时刻给力用的?
Now, I'm... I'm afraid I don't own any...
我恐怕我是没有
.. pornography. That's fine.
色情片 不用了
I did have a Next Directory somewhere
我之前有本《潮流前瞻》
but I think it went in the last recycling.
但是我想上次扔进资源回收筒了
Oh!
哦!
What about this?
这个怎么样?
Collingwood Family album.
Collingwood家族相册
Ignore the first few pages,
略过前几页吧
that's my parents on a narrow boat in the Fenns
是我父母在凡斯的一条小船上照的
but somewhere in the middle... oh!
在中间哪儿 噢!
Student Trish in Fuengirola.
学生时代的Trish在丰希罗拉
There's some bikini shots there.
有几张比基尼照
Well, that should pump your tyres. Mm.
应该能给你加油的 嗯
I'll just... erm... get into something more appropriate.
我去换件合适的衣服