职介破事儿（2013）

但是...
But when the stitches healed, she was straight back to normal.
但当伤口愈合的时候，她又回归正常生活了
Better than normal.
而且更好了
Neater. If anything, she said.
更优雅了，她说如果还有其他什么的话
Trish, there's two lines.
Trish，两道杠呀
What?
鬼扯
There's two lines in the box.
两道杠
You can't have left it long enough.
你是不是等的时间不够长呀
Trish, you're pregnant.
Trish，你怀孕了
Oh, my God. Really?
哦，天呐，真的么？
(GIGGLES) Oh, gosh.
天呐
I think I'm a bit dehydrated.
我感觉有点脱水了
Oh, Bryony.
He's beautiful.
真好看
A pleasure to meet you, sir.
很高兴见到你，先生
Oh. Forward.
哦，伸手了
- A firm handshake. - Bryony, why don't you go to your interview?
- 很有力的握手呐 - Bryony，你怎么还没去面试？
Let me baby-sit.
我来帮你看小孩吧
I'm not leaving Baby Uncle Martin with you.
我才不要把我Martin叔叔丢给你照顾
- Well, leave him with me. - I can't leave him with strangers.
- 既然这样，我来照顾吧 - 我才不要把他放在陌生人那里
Strangers？You've been coming here every fortnight for the last six years.
陌生人？过去的六年里，你每隔两个礼拜都要一趟
- I see you more than I see my own family. - Fine. Have him.
- 见到你的次数都要比见我家人的多的多了 - 好吧，照顾好他
His stuff is all in there. He needs changing cos he's done two shits.
他要用到东西都在这了，你要换尿布了，因为他拉屎了
See you!
拜
- Sure you're all right with him? - Oh, I'm fine.
- 你能照顾好他么？ - 嗯没问题
Bryony has left me in charge.
Bryony让我管了
Why don't I just take him for a bit?
为什么不让我带一会他嘞？
- Cos he wants to stay with me. - I want to look after him. - Karl?
- 因为他要我带着他 - 我想照顾他 - Karl？
- Come on. - For heaven's sake, Karl. We can't have a tug-off over a baby!
- 别介 - 老天爷呀，Karl，我们不能使劲拉小宝宝的！
I mean... I'm not complaining.
我是在说....我没在抱怨啦
It's a great job. A good salary.
我有个好工作，有份好薪水
A generous pension.
退休金也不错
You should consider it.
你应该想到
Aw! Are you tired?
喔，是不是累了呀？
Yeah. I know what you mean. I don't sleep like I used to.
对，我知道你想说表达什么，我想以前那样睡得好了
Not since the divorce.
不是因为离婚
A little management tip for you, Martin. Never marry a fireman.
Martin，给你的小技巧，别和消防员结婚
Unless of course you fall in love with one. You can marry who you like, these days. Men and women.
除非你爱的那个人就是，你可以和你喜欢的人结婚。如今，男人女人
Women and women. Men and men. A chap in America married his horse!
女人女人，男人男人，美国有个家伙和马结婚了！
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, dear. What's wrong? Got a headache?
哦，不，不，不，不，宝贝，怎么了？头痛么？
Gout?
痛风？
Are you hungry?
饿了么？
I don't know if I've got anything for you.
我不知都我能给你弄些什么
OK. Come on then.
好吧，只能这样了
Could I have him for a bit now, please?
我能照顾会他么，拜托了？
Erm... Yeah.
额，好吧
Er... That's fine.
额，可以的
You can take him. I'm very busy anyway, so...
给你了，总之我很忙的，所以...
All the best, then, Martin.
Martin，祝你健健康康
It was lovely to meet you.
见到你真好
How is the job hunting going?
工作找的怎么样了？
Well, I've heard nothing from Claire's Accessories, so I'm assuming that's a no.
这样的，Claire配件公♥司♥那边毛线消息，毛都没有
- Looks just like you. - Hm? Oh, no, it's...
- 宝宝看起来很你真像 -嗯？没有啦，这小孩是...
not my baby -- don't ask.
不是我家的，别说了
Really? You're a natural.
真的么？你个白♥痴♥
- Am I? - I've got six kids, mate, I know what I'm talking about.
- 有么？-老弟，我有六个小孩，我知道我在讲什么
That's why I need a job. Get me out of the bloody house.
所以我才需要一份工作，好让我别老呆在该死的家里
- (MARTIN CRIES) - Oh!
哦！
Oh, don't cry, Baby Martin.
天啊，别哭呀，宝宝
Don't cry.
别哭
Oh, yeah.
这才对
- What are you doing? - Recreating the womb.
- 你在作甚？ - 模拟子♥宫♥
It comforts the baby and aids restfulness.
这样能让宝宝舒服，达到安静目的
- Karl, you're being -- - Responsible?
- Karl，你真是... -很有责任感？
Yeah. Like any real male would be if he had a precious child to care for.
没错，像任何有小孩要照顾的男性一样的
- I didn't think you were that into kids. - What?
- 我认为你并没有对小孩很认真 - 怎么可能
I love them.
我很喜欢小孩的
I'd have a kid today if I could.
如果可以的话，今天我就想要个孩子
Oh, well, you know, in nine months, that would be fine.
哦，对了，你懂的如果九个月内的话，也是极好的
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的么？-当然
I'm ready to be a father. I'm ready to be a father... right now!
我很肯定当爸爸我没问题的，立刻！
Bring it on! Let's have loads. Three? Four? Five?
放马过来吧！我们开始吧，3个？4个？5个？
- Why stop at five? - All right. Ten!
- 怎么在5个的时候停了？ -好吧，那就10个！
One a year for the next ten years.
在接下来的10年里一年一个
- You'll be pregnant for a decade! - Great (!)
- 你会怀孕10年的！ - 想得美！
We'll have a house like Fagin's den.
我们会有个像Fagin的小窝一样的房♥子
Just cleaner.
会更干净些
Look, it's got a little penguin on it.
看，上面有只小企鹅
You don't want that, do you, Martin?
Martin，你想穿那个么，不是吧？
You want a real animal. Like a wolf or a komodo dragon.
你想要个真的动物吧，就像狼或者科莫多巨兽
Not a flightless bird.
而不是一直不会飞的鸟
It's not for him. It's for Natalie's little 'un.
这个不是给他的，是给Natalie的小家伙的
Just popping out to the doctor's.
出去看下医生
(MOUTHS)
I'm positively blooming, Janette.
Janette，我多半怀孕了
Oh, that's very nice. Very smart.
哦，真好看，很可爱
Is that yours, Martin? You didn't mention it.
Martin，那是你的吗？之前没看到呀
No. It's for Natalie.
不是的，这个给Natalie的
- I've already said it won't fit her. - It's not for Natalie.
- 她穿不下， - 不是给Natalie的
It's for Karl and Natalie's baby.
是给Karl和Natalie的宝宝的
What? Natalie Mason?
什么鬼？Natalie Mason么？
(SIGHS)
OK, Karl, oh, I can't believe I'm saying this.
听着，Karl，我不敢相信我要说这些
Honestly, it's fine. I've been expecting it all day.
说实在，没什么大不了的，我一整天都在期待着嘞
I'll never get used to doing this.
我一点都不习惯这样
- I've done it with everyone I've been out with. - Really?
- 我对每个约会的人都这么做的 - 是么？
Oh, my God.
天呐
This isn't gonna work.
这样是没用的
What?
讲的什么呀
What isn't gonna work?
那什么才有用呀？
Yeah, I know I wasn't amazing with Baby Uncle Martin,
是的，我知道我并在意宝宝是叔叔辈分的
but, you know, I didn't drop him.
但是，你知道的我没有逼迫他的
Natalie Mason, you pregnancy-stealing bitch!
Natalie Mason，你个偷怀孕的小婊砸！
- What? - You didn't think to mention it? - She didn't tell me, either.
- 什么呀？ - 你以为你没讲么？ - 她什么也没告诉我
Oh, and you'll be so much better at being pregnant than me.
天呐，你竟然用怀孕和我比谁更好
So much younger, so much fitter. You'll snap straight back into shape after the birth,
还有年轻、健康，你会在分娩后很快的恢复身材
because your fandango is made of elastic.
就因为你愚蠢的行为是有弹性的
I hope you get stretch marks!
真希望你会有妊娠纹
What the hell was that about? I'm not pregnant!
你讲的都是什么鬼呀？我又没怀孕！
- You're not pregnant? - No. - Well, then, why are you dumping me?
- 你没怀孕？ - 没有呀 -好吧，你为什么不理我？
- You were pretending to be a womb! - Because I thought you were pregnant.
- 你刚才装成子♥宫♥！ - 我以为你怀孕了
- Why does everyone think I'm pregnant? - I found a pregnancy test in your drawer.
- 为什么每个人都以为我怀孕了？ - 在你抽屉里找到了个测孕棒
- What were you doing in my drawer? - Looking for my present.
- 你烦我抽屉作甚？ - 找我的礼物
(GROANS) I didn't buy you a fucking present!
鬼才给你买♥♥礼物嘞！
We need hot water and paper towels! Angela's cat is having kittens!
我们要热水和纸巾！Angela猫咪要生小猫咪了！
(MEOWS)
Remember your breathing. Yeah?
吸气、呼气，好么？
Get ready to push.
准备好用劲
Oh, here comes another.
哦，又出来个
(ANGELA BREATHES RAPIDLY)
What's going on? Why is there a cat shitting wet hamsters in my Baby Uncle Martin's pram?
怎么了？为什么在我叔叔Martin的婴儿车里会有一只猫拉毛茸茸潮不拉几的东西？
Her contractions started.
她开始宫缩了
I needed to put Muff somewhere she felt safe.
我要把Muff放在一个她会觉得舒服的地方
Muff?
屁♥股♥？
Piss off! Have you got a dog called Bell-End, as well?
走开！难道你还有只狗叫Bell-End么?
Trish, are you OK? Where have you been?
Trish，你还好么？你刚去哪了？
The doctor's. For a proper pregnancy test.
医院，妊娠测试
- So you're pregnant? - No. I'm not.
- 就是说你怀孕了？ - 没，没有
Again. False positives happen all the time. Apparently.
又一次，我老是背运，可以这么说
Sorry I...
抱歉，我...
called you a... bitch, Natalie.
叫是小婊砸，Natalie
- My hormones are all over the place. - But you're not pregnant.
- 我情绪不稳定 - 但你没怀孕
Well, then, I'm just sorry.
好吧，不好意了